Why do guys act distant when they give off signs of attraction?

[Anonymous]

My guy friend knew I liked him but he said he wasn't interested in anyone although he had acted interested.

After he knew I liked him, he and I for some reason talked a lot more than ever. He would initiate conversation, almost always try to find me in person to talk to, etc.

Recently, he looked at me multiple times when my back was to him and turned away the one time my friend caught him. He notice my earrings when we were having lunch (he initiated me hanging out after I called him out that we were talking online too much). He acts jealous sometimes when I talk about guys/talk to other guys. The last time we saw each other, he came to find me to hugged me goodbye (and dropped an arm when two of my friends were looking at him) and wished me a Merry Christmas and safe travels back home, smiling.

We haven't really talked much lately, but at the same time, I may just be spoiled at the fact we talked so much. I just find it odd I've had to initiate lately, and I've noticed the one time we did talk, he responded quickly at times, and then showed off and bragged about himself.

Guys, what's going on? I mean, the only explanation I know is he's busy, but I'm just ... confused.

[RedThread78]

Well to a female men might seem distant. Our brains are literally wired differently. Women have like 90% more white matter in their brains which is used to organize ideas and communicate and gives them superior short term memory. Womens brains have been compared to a super highway whereas the male mind is more like a twisting country road. On the other hand Men have 70% more grey matter which is used for knee jerk reactions, problem solving, analyzation, and superior long term memory. Actions speak louder than words for most men.

Sorry to get so in depth.

[Kamilah]

Loved your detailed explanation :)

[Tamaska]

personally I think he likes you, but too afraid to show it.. see if he thinks you are stunningly beautiful he might be afraid to speak his mind and confess his feeling because he might think he'll scare you away if he does, so he's trying to show that he's all together but really every time your around him his world just stops and you are the only person he wants to be with.

[Asker]

But then why would he say that he wasn't interested before?

[Tamaska]

maybe to hide his true feelings because you said he acted interested, so why act interested and look at you when your not looking and all that if he doesn't harbor any feelings towards you?

[Asker]

Okay, yeah, makes sense. And frankly, I thought it was, too, but it's like '...there's no way..."

[Albinoninja66]

There is a chance that he's losing intrest. Ask him what's wrong, but DON'T be clingy or overbearing! Us guys HATE that. That's one of the reasons why I just broke up :P and when I lost intrest with my ex I did this and she made it much worse by seeming desperate and needy. Nothing makes a guy run away faster than being clingy. It's revolting. I'm not saying that he is losing intrest, but talk to him and ask him what's up. Communication is key! My ex (here I go again with an example) and I never clearly communicated the whole 2 years we were dating. She wouldn't take down her walls for me and if I hit a touchy subject she would shut down. Being afraid to talk about negative things will slowly destroy any relationship so make sure you communicate clearly. Ok that's my speech. Good luck!

[unleashedsavage]

Its hard to tell a girl you like her without trying to come off as desperate. there a strong possibility he doesn't know your feelings for him. hence he is playing safe & trying to play cool like nothing going on.we fear that even if we like the girl she might not like us hence she not reciprocate & the friendship is over

[Asker]

He does know I have feelings for him. I don't know if he /still/ knows I do.

[random56286]

This is an online meeting no doubt. The online dating arena is a collection of many of the most insecure people who are capable of making a convincing profile. One thing I say quite often is guys aren't required to take Feelings. 101. I do that kind of thing from time to time. I can't always explain why. Sometimes it is an anxious fear. I had someone torture me emotionally, and have periods I need extra support for my self confidence.

[KingZeus]

You know this obscure dating rule where you gotta wait this amount of time before replying back? Yeah sounds ridiculous doesn't it. I say cut the games and be straight with you. Had to do that with a girl once because it wasn't getting us anywhere. If a guy openly likes you and acts that way, maybe he should have never opened his mouth in the first place.

[Hopeless_romantic21]

Don't jump to conclusions. He might just have a lot to work to do and can't answe every text right away. If you over react and assume he's cheating or breaking up with you, you might actually cause him to break up with you because he'll feel as of you don't trust him. Try talking to him and good luck.

[Jaden69]

Yea I'd agree with him thinking that he's being too desperate and kind of trying trying to distant himself now. If you do like him and want this to go further maybe like give him some assurance? Try saying some cute things dunno.

[Asker]

I've tried contacting him but he just gets really shy and it's like he doesn't want to talk.

[Jaden69]

Try making plan to go out? Everything in person feels much better.

[Asker]

We did hang out recently... initiated by him, indirectly, although he claimed he was "busy" and such.

[Asker]

I mean, how was he too desperate? And the hang out was also, too, because I made the comment I feel like we never hang out, but he was the one who suggested we should.

[StudentAbroad]

He could be shy/nervous and have no idea what to say, he could be dealing with personal issues, he could have some interest. I could honestly list a dozen reasons as to why.

[bulat1990]

He is trying to give you distance so he will not come off as desparate which in a guys mind may ruin his chances with you ,keep in touch with this guy and hopefully things workout but I'm sure they will.

[Asker]

How is he coming off as desperate?

[myspacemybroke]

I generally dislike opening up to people, or being attached/close to anyone, so I guess I could come across as distant.

[Anonymous]

They probably didn't like what you confessed to them.

[Tharindu98]

Maybe he didn't expect you'd do such a thing. (No offence) bit trust me. Whoever leaves you, when you tell them the truth, are the best. Other will stay with you and take advantage of you.

[Klaatu51]

maybe sth bad happened to him... possibly not related wid u though... or he just had a bad-day.

try textin him next day i guess :)

[TheWhiteFreshPrince]

Why are you acting so distant to me? I mean come into my life already...JK Had to post it because I thought it was funny when it poped into my head.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Depends on what happened. He could be processing something, he could be embarrassed, he could seen something that made him uncomfortable that he's trying to keep his distance from. It really depends.

[TheGreyMan]

It's normal. Believe it or not but us guys do have other things to deal with in life.

[Daniel3035]

Awww gee annoying isn’t it. He’s just playing hard to get obviously keep trying to get his attention.

[Anonymous]

He is interested in you for sure in a sexual way.

The part about him acting distant may be that he doesn't really want to be in a relationship.

[Vin92]

Could be that he's just busy right now. Or he might just not be as interested as he was originally.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Its completely normal sometimes flooded with stuff to do or other things

[FlyTy329]

If he's jealous then he definitely thinks of you or is attracted to you. Sounds like he just doesn't want to get to attached to soon.