To ask for permission to kiss or not?

[Anonymous]

Should a guy ask to kiss you before doing so or should he simply take the chance and go in for the kiss?

A guy should ask for permission before going for the kiss.

A guy should take the chance and go for the kiss without asking.

[finallyfabulous]

The best way I can describe why it is better to just go for it is because of how I felt New Years Eve.

The guy is now my boyfriend but at the time Garrett was just a coworker. I had gotten a text from him while I was at work saying how he was having a few friends over to ring in the new year and that I should join. I thought that him being a hot military man would also have hot friends and agreed because he said I could stay the night in the spare room.

I go over and everyone is pretty drunk and the only other girl there was a girlfriend of one of the guys. There was about 8 people in all. So I started having a few drinks as well and tried huka with them. Garrett was really drunk and leaned over to kiss/blow smoke in his friends mouth. We watch the ball drop and then he started getting very cuddly with me. A few hours after midnight he leans over and whispers about how he doesn't want a guy to be his new years kiss and asks if I will be instead. It didn't feel special then when he kissed me more just he was drunk and wanted to get some and I was in a similar boat.

He would tell me as we were making out how I was really beautiful and that he didn't want that night to be a one time thing and that I deserved to be taken on a proper date but of course I didn't believe him because he was intoxicated and felt like he had to ask to kiss me.

[toulouse]

I always ask. I prefer he does. but most people seem to disagree.

it doesn't have to be like a huge permission submission.. just a small very quiet kind of playful or intense stare depending on the mood. and quietly ask. its endearing imo. and it gives me a warning. it sucks when want to kiss someone but not at,m and having to go through that. I want to be warned. I'm not a cracker jack box where you never know what you're going to get so you open the box to find ot.

anyways... it makes me think of m as respectful. he doesn't do things blindly because he cares about what I actually think. a lot of guys take the approach of letting her know hat she thinks by 'taking charge'. its bs and extremely unattractive. plus, self control is -always_ a plus.. its not such a big deal with kissing but it becomes necessary as things progress.

[jacquesvol]

If they didn't kiss before, girl can do it without asking, a boy not. WHY? Elementary prudence.

No boy will file a complaint, no judge will sentence a girl for it. Some girls will file a complaint, some judges may sentence a boy for it.

[Deathcabforcutie]

I voted a for te first kiss but don't mind either way as long as he isn't trying to stick his tongue down my throat. Or steal my gum.

[Asker]

or steal my gum hahaha

[Deathcabforcutie]

^_^ it's really happened! But we were dating.

[6blueshoes]

I think I know a good way to tell if she wants to be kissed. Assuming of course you know this girl or connected at the party and she doesn't have a boyfriend. Look at one of her eyes, then the other. Its suppose to create a twinkle effect. Then look at her lips. If she looks happy or isn't showing signs she's uncomfortable then go for it.

I'm hoping to try this strategy this new years in Boston with a cute stranger. I'll let you know how it turns out.

[TedStar]

You ask before the date. Tell her that when the moment comes you will kiss her. You could say it in a jokingly manner. Don't ask when the time comes as that kills the moment. If she said yes to a date chances are that she is kind of expecting it anyway. Do look out for signs. Such as staring at your lips, biting her own lips, licking her lips as well as how you are feeling. More often than not she is feeling the same

[Sparkling]

A great kiss needs sexual tension.

A question CAN be asked in a way that preserves or even heighten that tension, but it's VERY LIKELY (as in 99% of the time) it will instead add a awkward element* to the situation, and the tension is lost.

Therefore unless you know you can ask the question in the right way, just kiss her.

BUT I should also mention that a kiss without sexual tension can still be sweet, or nice, so if you want to go for that, please do. But I'm assuming y'all want to be wanted, not just... comfortable.

*Example: Girl may start thinking, "what's the right answer?", "will he think I'm loose?", "Gosh I wanted to, but now it feels weird", etc. Generally, a girl in her head is not in her body (=not feeling sexual tension).

[numbsunday]

If I have feelings for a guy and he kisses me without having asked, its a huge turn on and really really awesome! If I had to ask the guy to kiss me, its a little bit of a turn off. If he asks me its really sweet (not as much of a turn on as just going for it though), but if he asks me all the time it could possibly get a little irritating, like 'do you need my permission EVERY TIME?'.

now if I don't have feelings for the guy at all, then I'm probably thinking 'uhh...alrighty then...that was weird...and sweet...but weird.'

if I don't like the guy then its a no-no. I'd feel a little violated despite how honourable the intentions were.

In conclusion, make sure you know (or at least have a good idea) how they feel before you take the leap, and if its the first time you're kissing or if you're unsure, then asking isn't going to do any harm.

[lana77]

okay, so I think you do KIND OF need to get permission to kiss her...but you don't have to verbally ask her. like the others have said, it kinda ruins the moment and the spontaneity. what you should do is make your intentions clear with your body language...stare into her eyes, stare at her lips, then start to move in slowly towards her. if she doesn't want a kiss, she'll have a chance to move away. I think this is the most respectful way of approaching it...you're giving her a choice in the matter without ruining the moment instead of just quickly springing it on her whether she wants it or not!

[noidfome]

A guy doesn't necessarily have tö "as permission" before the first kiss, but he certainly needs to draw hints so that she has achance to say no. For instance, hugging her a while, touching her face, looking in her eyes and THEN kissing her. This way she knows what's happening.

Otherwise a cheesy "I'm gonna kiss you now." with a big grin works pretty good.

[lottierose]

I think a guy should ask, but not through words. Body language should be enough to show you want to kiss someone, and for them to reciprocate or stop it. Leaning close to them, looking at their eyes and mouth etc, is enough for the message to be passed on. Asking sort of ruins the spontaneity, and makes things slightly forced.

[jacquesvol]

Since many people use different body language, no guy should rely on what he *thinks* her body language is expressing: he's probably just projecting his own desires on her by interpreting it.

[lottierose]

I suppose that's true, but I mean if he leans towards her and she pulls away, most people would take that as a no. It's probably easier to read negative body language than positive, but I think most people would be able to guess.

[NymphoVic]

I don't mind either way. I like the respect he shows if asking for a goodnight kiss at the end of a date, yet am excited by the spontaneity of him taking a leap of faith and risking my reaction.

I just think it's so cute if a guy I like gets nervous around me, and makes sure he has my verbal approval before making the official transition from friends to more. But then I am into guys with a bit of a geek in them.

[sarahassassin]

I think it depends on a couple of things. I mean, if it's the third date, I think the guy should definitely ask for permission, since the girl may not have decided how she feels at that point. But if you've been together for say, 6 months, and haven't kissed yet, then I don't think there's a need to ask.

I also think that it depends on the girl. I'm a bit shy, I'll admit that, and I'm not one to kiss early in a relationship. If this hadn't been established early on in the relationship, I'd appreciate the guy asking, because I could then let him know what my boundaries are. On the other side, if the girl is extremely outgoing, she's most likely good for a kiss at a reasonably early point in the relationsbip, and therefore the need to ask doesn't really exist.

[Forgetable]

I ask, I ask until it is obvious and stated that asking is no longer necessary. Why, because I am a gentleman and I don't want the lady to be uncomfortable or feel obligated to accept and return the gesture and not everyone is ready for it at the same point and time.

[vishna]

Through the movement of his body he is asking her is she attracted and through her response he will know.

Then they will come together like a invisible magnet and lay those luscious lips together, sweet hallelujah

When the body does all the talking the kiss is 10 times sweeter.

[confugirl]

I think it's kinda weak and ruins the moment if the guy asks permission for a kiss. Just do it and if she happens to push you away, then back off. It's really that simple. In fact, asking permission for a kiss would make me not want to kiss you anymore if I previously did want to.

[Anonymous]

YES!!! You should ask if you just met the person and you are not dating them. This just happened to me the other night I was asked if he could kiss me on the lips and I said yes only once though! We are not dating and I have only talked to him once before. I have seen him around that is it. If you are dating already it is totally ok to not ask. For all you ladies who think it is ok to have just any guy come up and kiss you, you might want to think about that LONGER. I have had men I don't know do this to me and didn't want to know at all and it really is assault! Ladies think about that guy that bothers you, Do you want him to just come up and kiss you? Ask yourself that!

[Opinion Owner]

By the way that does make a man a pussy for asking!!! That is called a gentleman for those of you that have not experienced one before. It is also RESPECT!!! I know I am looking for a gentleman.

[Opinion Owner]

Typo--DOESN'T make a man a pussy for asking!!

[tiffybaby]

My first boyfriend asked for my first kiss. I mean, first kiss ever and I liked that, but after having kissed a few guys, I don't. It was only sweet for the first one EVER. So I say don't ask, as long as you know she likes you that way.

[Darkfairie17]

Just go for it! If you stopped and asked you would ruin the moment. If the girl doesn't want it, as soon as she realizes you are going in for a kiss, she will show you using body language or telling you.

[Someguy17]

I don't like to ask for permission, I think it kills the mood. I prefer to go on active dates and create a lot of fun. These situations create plenty of opportunities where kissing is just natural (as long as there is fun+attraction).

[Prof_Don]

I voted "B"...imo asking absolutely KILLS the magic of the moment.

The guy is supposed to read the body language of the female, then take the plunge.

If she accepts your advance, the fireworks are awesome, and imo are worth the risk! :)

[NickInVideo]

Understand an unwelcome sexual advance can have huge negatives.

Sexual harassment, sexual assault and so on.

Sometimes, I'm afraid to be a confident guy.

[why-makoto-kun]

I went with the first one, although I am truly divided. I think the first option is good just in case you basically just met and you're not sure if you both like each other.

[AnaxGrypos]

be like do you want to kiss me ?

if she says no then you can be like , it looked like you wanted to .

is she says maybe then say lets find out and kiss her.

if she's say yes then kiss her.

[RedSmartie]

Asking is kind of middle school, to be honest. Just go in for it, but go slow enough so that she can pull away if she wants to. It's best not to force it on her.

[OpenArmsAlice]

I'd feel silly and awkward if I guy actually Asked... haha.. just Go For It!