Why do girls never contact me again on POF when I ask them out?

Question

I have no problem getting girls to reply to my messages I've talked to quite a few, they all express interest but when I ask them out or ask to meetup with them they never talk to me again I don't know why, all of my messages are polite and I express interest too but when I ask them out they stop talking to me and they never say why, only one girl said that she was busy but she expressed genuine interest in meeting and never said no when I asked her if she wanted to meet me, she lived 45 minutes from my city though.

But often we run out of things to talk about on POF and I think it's an appropriate time to meetup.

Girls, how do I get you to meetup with me on POF?

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

I have done the online thing for years so I'll give you some input on it.

A lot of girls look for attention online and nothing more. I've had that same problem happen to me numerous times. Last one I talked to I mentioned early on that I sometimes am in her area and maybe we could meet up when I am down there and she replied to that "and sure that would be awesome :)" After numerous messages later over the course for a few days I tell her I would be in the area. Nothing back. These types of girls just want the attention, nothing more and they waste so many people's time on these sites. The site is basically another Facebook for them.

My record for dumbest flake still goes to the one who setup a time to meetup and as I am ready to leave I text her that I am about to leave and she says she has class.

45 minutes is a little far. Some would be willing to meet in the middle but that is rare. I will say though that when I was very into messaging girls I found that if you caught them online, messaged back and forth to a max of 5 messages and then say you gotta go and ask for their number that you can weed out a huge amount of the attention seekers and the ones that give their number are much more likely to meet.

A lot of girls dramatize the online horrors and can give excuses like being afraid of meeting a psycho, but don't realize they are calling you a psycho in the process(why are they talking to you if you're a psycho, right?). Many will also say "I want to get to know you better" but don't realize they will never truly know you until they meet you in person because you can say whatever you want over the internet.

Hope this helps.

Alonso14 · Accepted Answer

WTF? You get replies? How the hell do you do that? I barely ever get any replies.

Online dating is worthless for most men because ...

1) Most the girls don't look to meet many guys, if any at all, the majority are there for the attention.

2) The few girls looking to date are very picky, they would be able to get dates in real life if they had appropriate standards.

3) The girls have even more options online than in real life because of the greater number of male users and the greater number of messages those male users send.

All these problems are even worse for young males. You should be really proud for being able to get a decent amount of replies, I couldn't even get that far. Find a better way to meet women.

TianaStar86 · Accepted Answer

I would suggest you just talking to them online for now. After a little while, video chat. After that, extend your phone number. They might just be hesitant to meet with a guy they meet online. video chatting can help them make sure you are what you say you are. I for one would be hesitant and probably would stop talking to you if I suspected that you would keep bringing it up and asking. There are crazy people in the world and any female in their right mind would be hesitant. Don't take it personal. It might be personal, but most times...I think its just that the risk is high. So move slow and don't be pushy. :) hope this helps

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I've done this many times. I'm not proud of it.

In my experience when I'm contacted my a strangers online, I'm not very excited about it, especially when this person wants to pursue me. I try to be nice and have a few conversations but I often just cut them off, stop replying to message, act like I'm not online, etc. again I'm not proud of it.

sorry about that.

snowangle · Accepted Answer

The sad truth is most girls on free dating sites like POF are more or less window shopping. They like to flirt and they like the idea of dating someone online, but once you offer to meet them they often get scared and back away.

I didn't invent it. I'm just saying what I know.

wanderer83 · Answer

You need to make yourself not seem like you need anyone.

Look at how much time you spend on a certain thing and ask yourself, "is this really working for me or my own self worth?"

What you need to do is focus on the positive parts of yourself and strengthen them and make them strong. You will then become more confident.

Do what you can to overcome the fear of communicating to a woman in public.

Remember that a woman is a human being just like you and the ones who got all dolled up worked on themselves to look that way.

Some people *not just hot girls or girls in general* are shallow.

But there is a fine line between a girl who is only looking for looks in a guy and a girl who takes care of himself and is confident.

Dont let rejection bring you down.

Movie stars got rejected in the beginning of there career and so did inventors before they found one that wad accepting.

But if you take care of you and keep your confidence and strengthen it, then girls will find you attractive

Jager66 · Answer

Online dating is a crap shoot for men who actually want to date, it gives women the perception that they have a much much higher SMV they they actually do so they become extraordinarily picky about nonsensical things. Or women use it to get narcissistic feed from it by having lots and lots of men look at their profile and send them emails. The amount of level headed women online actually looking for a genuine relationship is abysmally low.

Also just because you are online dating doesn't mean all the normal dating hassles don't apply because they absolutely do and now you have all the bullsh*t involved with trying to date people over a computer. If you want to date do it in person.

Anonymous · Answer

Knowing that a first meet up is often a coffee and an opportunity to actually talk face-to-face, to wait when the conversation drys up and you have nothing left to talk about to ask her out is not the best ideas. Try to ask them out when the conversation is still going strong.

And I understand you can run out of things to say at some point, but it seems like it happens for you too soon; the girl I'm currently dating whom I met online, I talked to for over a month every day for a few hours and we never had any slow days.

Anonymous · Answer

I created a POF and I have 6 girls continuiously contacting me. 4 of them are single mothers looking for a daddy, one looks like a dude, and the last one is old enough to be my mother. POF is the bottom of the barrel.

eveline · Answer

POF? anyway can be they are not physically attracted towards you or you come out too desperate through your messages I can't say for sure

how many times a day do you sent?

do you refer to them as : beautiful. baby, honey, girl, etc?

Klaatu51 · Answer

man I've seen you several times around here,and I think you should take care of yourself better. according to your photo I thought that you were around 30,but yet you are only 20. try to lose some weight first

Anonymous · Answer

That happens to most of us... the people on POF tend to be a bunch of flakes.  Dating is always a numbers game, but that's especially true online.  I tend to have better luck on the paid sites.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe your'e too adorable for them :3 (Just my opinion!) :)

Anonymous · Answer

Give me an example of the final message and how you ask them out. But you gotta get them on the phone first. Don't ask out over text, assuming that's what you're doing.

Anonymous · Answer

unfortunately, it's because you're not very attractive.  that's the way the world works though.

Anonymous · Answer

first thing you need to do is go on a diet. have you ever seen yourself naked? I have and it's not pretty.

Anonymous · Answer

They are just not attracted to you.

TokusatsuComicLover · Answer

tell me about it, I hate getting lead on like that

Yeahhbro · Answer

attention whores nothing else

Anonymous · Answer

well because they have other options.

Anonymous · Answer

maybe they are just messing with you

Anonymous · Answer

Because they aren't attracted to you.

Anonymous · Answer

really dude?... really?

Why do girls never contact me again on POF when I ask them out?

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