Do you get embarrassed/beat yourself up after getting rejected?

[Anonymous]

There's this guy I have really liked for a couple of months now.

I'm a little shy so I don't think I made it overly obvious, but I think he could tell that I was interested in him and just didn't feel the same way.

I would get really happy when I would talk to him and some things he did made me think he might like me back, but that ended up not being the case.

I just misinterpreted a lot of the things he was doing.

Since I found out he didn't feel the same way I can't help but just feel really bad. I feel stupid for misinterpreting things he was doing as interest when that clearly wasn't the case.

I'm just embarrassed and I feel really stupid and pretty hurt also because I liked him a lot.

Do other people feel like this when they get a rejection?

Getting rejected sucks :/

[brownginger]

I've been there too. I've liked this one guy so much that I ended up telling him. I thought he felt the same. I took his friendly behavior as flirting. I think it's because I wanted it to be so. Well he end up rejecting me so, we remained friends. So I picked my face up off the floor and just tried to move on. See I see him constantly we kinda work together. Anyway get this a few months later he end up telling me that he did actually like me and we kissed, I left things in his court kinda like when he's ready to talk or move forward he'll let me know soon, guess what.. nope I was wrong he never bought that night up, and neither did I, in fear of looking desperate, or pushy. So we live our life as friends that's it. Because I feel like he rejected me twice.. so I'm super embarrassed, and hurt cause I really like him. And now I'm stuck wondering what could've happen with us.. I don't know. but it sucks.

[HYPATIAofALEXANDRIA]

No. b-c ill ask if i'm interested in a guy, rather than looking fit signs.

That way i don't have wast time wondering, nor worry about feeling dumb when i got the wrong idea, or questioning if i have the wrong idea.

I do not assume anything without discussing things with the guy first. I'd I do get the wrong idea, its bc the guy is neurotic and changes his mind very day, or b-c the guy intentionally lid to m. In either case, I would be under the impression he stupid. not m.

Dont fel bad though. You didn't do anything crazy or inappropriate you didn't do anything but like someone. thats not stupid or a crime. im sorry he doesn't like you, are you guys friends? mayb ypll grow on him.

Maybe he lied to whoever he told he dosnt like you. never know.

What was it that made you think he likes you and what was it that made you think he doesn't ?

howd you fond out any of this?

[Asker]

Things that made me think he might like me:

His jaw has dropped several times when he's seen me- it made me think he was attracted to me but realistically guys don't do that if they're attracted to a girl

When I would be awkward or nervous in front of him he would just listen to me and smile, especially when I made my crush obvious through my nervousness

He would be a little nervous or awkward when talking to me- hesitant tone of voice, seeming nervous to make eye contact, etc.

[Asker]

He would always be nice and seem to want to listen to whatever I had to say, even when he was being awkward with me.

There are times when I've felt I have said something embarrassing and he would always just look at somewhere other than my eyes and smile and sometimes laugh, gave me the idea he thought I was cute or something

When I saw him after a long time he just stared at me for a very long time with his mouth open.. I just didn't think that was normal for a guy to do with a girl

[HYPATIAofALEXANDRIA]

Who told you he dosnt like you? Have you ever communicated with him directly?

[Asker]

He also offered to do me a favor, which made me think he was open to the idea of getting to know me/spending time with me or talking to me more, but he honestly was probably just being nice

I would also catch him looking over at me when we are in a room together- just little glances and when I would look at him he would quickly look away

He would also be very open with me when talking to me and volunteer a lot of personal information

[Asker]

In terms of not liking me,

He doesn't really approach me or initiate conversation. I see him randomly and he doesn't seem to take initiative to talk to me.

He hasn't approached me online or tried to get my number or anything like that

I tried messaging him and he didn't bother to reply to me, and it has been several days now

[Asker]

This ended up being a lot longer than I expected, but I basically thought he liked me but was shy. I feel I read into a lot of things he did- he was just being nice and I mistook what he was doing for shy interest.

What do you think? I just feel not approaching and not reciprocating are pretty strong signs a guy isn't into a girl

[HYPATIAofALEXANDRIA]

Its really hard to say. thre can b many reasons for his behavior.

I would just ask him if h wants to do something casual- if yo se him in person, so you'll know first hand ho he reacts. I tend to not like guessing bc its not very reliable.

when/ of you see him as in. just talk to him and ask hi out-casually. then you'll know:)

[Asker]

I did say that we should hang out sometime and he said "definitely", but he could have just been being nice.

Should I just ask him again and be more specific?

I'm really inexperienced when it comes to guys and they just confuse me so much!

[esmiksaaron]

i've been too scared of rejection from guys but i really like a guy now and want to hook up with him but im worried if i suggest it or something he'll be like "lol, really?". but he's actually a really nice guy but i delude myself into thinking the rejection will be terrible...

[chocolateismylover]

I never regret putting myself out there. Its better than wasting time wondering.

[blondfrog]

you have lots of female balls lol I respect that

[HYPATIAofALEXANDRIA]

@ I never regret putting myself out there. Its better than wasting time wondering.

I Agree 1000% ;-)

[Tinyplaces]

while it does suck, I'd rather get rejected than not try at all and wonder what if. At least now you know.
You should be proud that you tried. I'm sure it was very hard for you considering you're shy. Don't just accept it, but embrace it. Embrace the fact that you did something that was difficult.

[Asker]

Thanks, I'll try to think of it that way

[Agrojag]

I've only taken a rejection hard once. It happened in January, but I'm still reeling. I felt -- and still do -- stupid, inadequate, ugly, pathetic, etc. The greater your feelings, the harder you'll fall. In my case, I loved the girl, but I just wasn't good enough for her.

[blondfrog]

Yep I hate it too you just have to move on don't ever let someone have that much power over you I had to learn the hard way stress can make your blood pressure go up, affect your organs in lots of bad ways if they dilate when they shouldn't or constrict when they shouldn't, and lose hair which happened to me I am balding now from stressing so much but it wasn't just from being rejected it was an over load of lots of things, I also lost my eye brows, and some hair in my facial hair.

[chocolateismylover]

Thanks :)

[Person5000]

Yes. I had a crush on this girl for awhile. She and I were great friends. I suddenly realized, I think I have a crush on her We were on a fieldtrip one day, and I was by myself,none of my friends were there and she came up to me and ask me to join her I was going to ask her out bc I thought she liked me,and I was about to,when I heard her talking to others They were talking about who they like my name came up They said I was cute and asked if she liked me. She said no, he's really sweet but no

[Aussieaussie]

After gaining knowledge and experience through mistakes and attempts when your truely happy with who you are as a person you don't feel sad. You can control your emotions and move onto what is to come

[Kelly34]

I used to when I was like 12.

I don't now, probably just because I've had greater exposure to rejection.

[yawst]

Some of my memories concerning this are so absolutely embarrassing I shudder at bringing them up in my mind.

[Nathand]

I don't like being rejected espically when you day dream about the person they when you go and talk to her, she says "NO" or "i have a boyfriend"

[Nathand]

then**

[Anonymous]

Yeah rejection sucks so bad

it makes me not want to ever approach a guy