Ah yes, the pineapple. A fruit. A fruit that is juicier and heavier than its smaller cousin, the apple. A fruit that is a habitat for a little, yellow, sponge whos profession is manufacturing a delicious, popular, and exquisite sandwhich in the depths of the ocean beneath an island otherwise known as, Bikini Bottom. A fruit that is nothing more, than a fruit. However, there seems to be a disturbance in the force...."why" many of you are wondering. "Why do you feel this sensation"? Well my children, there is a very good explanation as to why I am feeling this way as of now. What if I were to tell you that there are creatures who slumber and reside near you, who consume a triangular cheesy matter known as pizza? I am in no way criticizing pizza as I for one, am one of the consumers of this delicious meal. But what if these "things" devour their pizza with "the fruit"? The same fruit I mentioned known as "pineapple". I know what all of you are thinking. "Is there a problem with that"? Yes. As the great omnipotent beings of the universe hoped something as criminally insane as "pineapple on pizza" would never happen.
This fruit is capable of eradicating any flavor from any food, from any culture, in a matter of seconds. Pizza, is no exception. These "creatures" that feast on this satanic dish, smile, and laugh like a dog seeing snow for the first time. They crave for a sin like this. A sin that not even Satan is capable of committing. This combination of pineapple and pizza must be stopped at all costs