We're Not All Gold Diggers!

[Hannah591]

Being a gold digger isn't in every woman's genetic code, believe it or not. Nevertheless, it's very obvious when a woman is a gold digger, such as having a sudden interest in you when you say you earn a lot of money, expecting gifts from you constantly, dating men decades older than herself and many simply admit to being gold diggers. There are even websites for them to thrive with "sugar daddies" aka. consenting rich men.
If you're a guy and you worry about being caught out by a gold digger, don't worry. You'll get a hunch that she's only interested in your money and that's when you cancel your next date. However, don't tar all of us women as gold diggers! It seems to be a very common occurence here.

I loathe being branded as a gold digger just because I'm a female. I've dated unemployed men who still lived with their parents or were only earning £2 an hour, yet through my support and encouragement, they've gone on to achieve more, which is what all girlfriends should do and vice versa. I never expected anything from them material wise - I just wanted to be loved and respected in a harmonious relationship.
When I go on dates, I pay for myself and insist that I do. I like earning my own money, knowing I have money in my bank that's entirely mine and entirely earned. Being independent and hard working has always been what I value in myself and other people. I find men are also more attracted to you when you have ambition, a career and are happy to do it alone, whilst paying for your own things and responsibilities. Then they know that you're not in search of a financial crutch and that helping you in any way is optional.

If I find out a guy earns a lot of money, it's a great bonus as in, if we ever moved in together, money wouldn't be much of an issue for us. That's it. I don't think about what I'd spend his money on or what kind of gifts I can get out of him.
I once went on a date with a guy who evidently earned good money because he drove an expensive, diesel guzzling, convertible sports car and he had a fancy job role. However, he turned up in very casual clothes which said to me he didn't really care about the date and he spent a lot of the time boasting about his acheivements, slowly making me feel inferior in mine. I never saw him again. I loved his car, because I love cars anyway and the date was good but he obviously wasn't for me... no matter how much money he had.
If the guy has loads of money but it was simply inherited, not worked for, I wouldn't find that endearing at all. Like I said before, I like someone who earns their money and appreciates hard work.

Whatever a man earns, if he works hard, has ambition, treats me right and we have a good connection, then that's a successful man to me and a man I could fall in love with.

[TheBasil]

Explain as much as you want. Guys here is so shallow it's sad... They meet a few of those girls and start to hate every single female species on this planet. They probably though it's possible to find true love in strip club or something who weren't out after their money.

[GirlsTonguesHOT]

Excellent statements.

But women and men are of the same species. Lol. Regardless of the "bitch" and "pig" thang.😂😂😂😂

[jacquesvol]

I only met a few women who were really after money.

[pnl86]

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.” ― Abraham Lincoln

Nearly all women can learn to compromise and accept living with men who are lacking in some department or area of life, but if you want to test a woman's character, give her beauty.

I don't think men give two flying sh*ts about what "average" or "below average" or "undesirable" women want, or whether those women are gold-diggers. The only thing men care about is what "the women that those men want" care about.

So, it's one thing to say that "technically fuckable" women are genuinely not gold-diggers. Maybe that's true. But what if that's only true because they have no other real choice. It's important for these women to be generally liked, not just by men, but also by other women. So, they are in no position to take such extreme positions such as openly admitting (or even internally desiring) material things or substantial wealth from a man.

The real test is to see how that woman would be if she were more beautiful. It's an entirely different discussion to consider the preferences of a woman who is a (9.5) or perfect (10). It's not that important for these women to be generally liked. They're not trying to fit in or be accepted. Others are trying to fit in and be accepted by them. And hostility from other women (or lack of friendly cooperation from other women) is not really going to get in the way of how much men desire and want women with a high level of beauty (things like personality and other qualities being equal).

Be that as it may, however,

I think the flip-side of that coin is equally interesting. The only reason men "complain" about "gold-diggers" is the same reason women "complain" about men "wanting sex." There's nothing wrong with men wanting sex... unless you're not attractive, or you're sexually inhibited, or you don't really have any genuine desire to have sex. Similarly, there's nothing wrong with women wanting material things, or wealth in a man, or financial security and stability... unless you can't give her those things, because you don't have those things (as a man).

Thus, the "complaint" has little to do with the character of women, per se, and more to simply do with a man's realization that he may not be able to give a woman the same degree of satisfaction that he desires and wants from that woman (i. e., he's worried about the balance of the trade).

[brain5000]

Thanks for posting this. :) I agree not all women are gold-diggers, and @pnl86 's post reflects my reaction to much of it : it doesn't really matter whether undesirable women are more accepting.

I tend to think the percentage of gold-diggers grows as women get older. When they're young and live with their parents, guys are in the same community/school, they are similar socioeconomic class and everyone in view is more or less equal.

When they get older, they are exposed to more of a range of classes. Evolution kicks in along with the instinct to breed, and so a good provider becomes more important.

The problem with this is that there is a new phenomenon called feminism, where women want to be thought of and treated as equals, and they _should_ be. Everyone deserves equal opportunity, access to opportunity, equal pay for equal work.

Unfortunately, political philosophy doesn't stand much of a chance against evolution, it appears, as there are a lot of feminist hypocrites out there. Hopefully that will change. Unfortunately, I don't think women really understand very well what they want, or don't acknowledge it honestly, and regard all women as equally desirable.

Things are screwed up. Thanks OP for giving this some thought.

[Hannah591]

You're half the age of some of these commentators yet you shared your view perfectly. Thanks!

[brain5000]

Well, I _am_ @brain5000 ;)

[MaskedSanity]

The problem with this take is that the types of men who are convinced all women are gold diggers aren't going to suddenly have an epiphany and change their ways.

Unfortunately, as well as this take is written, it will only be applauded by those that aren't contemptible generalizing pricks to begin with.

One time I mentioned (on GAG) my boyfriend bought me a car for my birthday and some dude turned up and called me a gold digger. When I pointed out that my boyfriend was out of work at one point and I was picking up the bills for a few months, he turned around and called my boyfriend a bum in the same conversation thread. So which is it, bruh? Apparently there's no such thing as people taking turns supporting each other through hard times, only one party taking advantage of the other.

You can't fix bitter men and their skewed thinking. They're convinced of their narrow view about women and they most certainly wouldn't want another WOMAN trying to tell him he's wrong, since he's convinced all women are conniving evil harpies.

So while I fully agree with your take, it will fall on deaf ears. :(

[puertoriguesa]

unfortunately i don't know how to survive on my own cause i'm too "slow" to do things on my own i've always had guidance as a child and growing up my parents and brothers pretty much did everything for me (phone calls for appointments and stuff, or talk to people for me) and i've never been observant because i usually isolated myself and was always afraid to ask questions because as a child i was always being verbally/emotionally abused and used to get hit for no reason just because im "slow" therefore i have very bad social skills &i lack motivation, im very insecure and have bad work ethics... which means my only way to survive is marrying a man who's financially stable who will love me and respect me... but it doesn't mean i'm a gold digger cause id pick love and respect over money any day, i definitely wouldn't marry a man i don't love for money id rather be a nun than do that and i'm not even materialistic, i was never a spoiled brat... therefore not all women are gold diggers sometimes we go for men with money because of necessity but tbh it would've been great if i knew how to be independent, i wish i wasn't scared of life or people, i need a pair of grown woman pants

[GirlsLie]

I agree with you, i'm so tired of seeing men convince themselves that all women want/need their money. Have they never encountered a woman who works and pays her own bills? it makes me think they live in a bubble.

My boyfriend doesn't have money but he works hard and he's a good person and it doesn't make me love him any less. When you make your own money and make your own way, those aren't things you need to use someone else for.

I'm normally put off by men with money honestly, some of them are so difficult to relate to because like you said a lot of them have inherited it, which means they grew up with money and since I grew up really poor, it's so difficult to relate to them sometimes.

[PiuBelloAmante]

When girls find out about my inheritance, they completely change how they treat me, most girls in my hometown know about this cause my dad was kind of important :/ thats why i just tell girls i meet now that i am a broke college kid now, that way they treat me like they would any other college kid :)

if a girl likes me for me :) thats awesome, but i will never discuss finances with any girl unless she is my wife

[Hannah591]

Best way to weed out the gold diggers is to keep the inheritance money on the down low. :)

[PiuBelloAmante]

Yep :)
not only that, but if you are flashy and an asshole, what do you expect to attract?
most girls aren't gold diggers but if you show a girl money is all you have to offer, she will think your worth is what you own...

[AleDeEurope]

Inheritance? Gay marriage is legal now... just saying ;)

[PiuBelloAmante]

@AleDeEurope slow... Lol might go anon! Lol!
Nah dude I will just share some of it with you and get married 😂😂😂

[AleDeEurope]

Ok, that sounds like a better plan xD

[imanf7]

@AleDeEurope 3 people can marry now in some countries ;) just saying...

[AleDeEurope]

You hear that Piu, @imanf7 wants to join our marriage, should we let her in? She's cool, but I don't like sharing :/

[imanf7]

@AleDeEurope sharing is caring :p

[AleDeEurope]

@imanf7 ahaha ok ok, I'll share with you my part. I don't know about Piu though, he seems more selfish than me... ;P

[PiuBelloAmante]

@AleDeEurope @imanf7 you are both a pair of gold diggers :p lol!

[imanf7]

women live longer, i have the highest chance :D

[PiuBelloAmante]

@imanf7 lol! :) you are too funny :p

[imanf7]

only in rainy days :p

[PiuBelloAmante]

@imanf7 Haha! seriously, i am gonna marry a girl who loves me for me, and not the money!
its just hard to find a girl who can tolerate me long enough, to see that i am a truly lovable and awesome person :)

[imanf7]

same problem here and i don't even have money lol
it's not to live alone though :/

[Mustachekitteh]

Damn never would have guessed you were loaded. :P Good thing you never let that go to you head. :)

[PiuBelloAmante]

@Mustachekitteh i regret ever posting this! lol!
i haven't spent a cent yet lol! :)

[Mustachekitteh]

lol naw doesn't change anything. :) It's just interesting since I've never known anyone who's had a big amount of money. My curiosity just makes me want to ask questions. :D

[PiuBelloAmante]

@Mustachekitteh if you want you can Pm me questions :)

[Sam89]

This is essentially the female equivalent to the stereotype that men are only after sex and don't care about anything else. Yes, this is true of some guys but not all and the same principle applies here. You get your gold diggers but you also get plenty of decent women who aren't just after a walking ATM. It's like all areas of life, there's good and bad.

I get what you mean about being tarred with the same brush, but I would say most men realise not all women are like this. The problem with the internet is that it tends to attract a vocal minority and you could be forgiven for believing the opinions expressed online represent the majority. However, this isn't necessarily the case.

[14jan97]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
THIS ^
I always make sure I'm paying for things, and if I'm short and he pays, it's straight into his bank within minutes. I'd feel terrible using a guy for money, I just couldn't do it. I like being independent and I even make sure my parents pay for as little as possible so that I can budget properly and don't feel the need to financially depend on someone.

[Minxxie]

If you make less money than a man you are a gold digger, if you make more than a man you are trying to destroy his sense of masculinity and it's the end of the world!!
If you repeatedly reject miss-independent for "Threatening your masculinity" then all you have left is gold diggers what do you expect? Men HATE any sort of competition from women so you toss independent girls to the side faster than they can say hello!
Most guys hate miss independent...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6M5C-oKw9k

So they get stuck with gold diggers! maybe stop being so stuck up, give miss independent a chance and you'd find a decent girl! ... but none of you will until you grow up some more, so until then have fun with your gold diggers!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY

[Watermelonoma]

i love you hannah. You're always welcome to bear my negro children.

On the issue of gold digging... yeah it happens but for the most part, your raw personality/charisma/charm is what is key. Besides, its pretty easy to dodge a gold digger by simply not showing off if you've got a lot of cash

[Hannah591]

Isn't negro a derogatory word? But thanks for the love haha.

[Watermelonoma]

slightly yes ^_^

[Thor696]

"To live comfortably, it's natural for a woman to prefer a man with money because, together, they can afford to live a better life. And this does not mean she's materialistic. People always say that "money can't buy happiness" but every single woman I know wants to travel, and to the best of my knowledge, this isn't free. In fact, perhaps, the most defining moment in a couple's life is when they're in front of the pastor saying "I do" and -- for the record -- the wedding reception isn't free."

www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...money_b_8079750.html

[Hannah591]

Women can travel on their own with their own money.

[Thor696]

That's not even debatable... but try it when your hubby or boyfriend is working at McDonald's... or doesn't have a job at all.

[LorcaNovena]

I've met a lot of women and I have only ever come across one woman that used her man for money but then she really is a repugnant person who went around telling everyone how bad her boyfriend was in the bedroom department.

I don't believe a majority of women pursue a man for money, sure money provides an element of security, but it can't buy affections nor can it guarantee stability.

[Grisbosque]

so hard work is all you care about?
seems rather limited and short sighted to me... would you work hard if it was for free? personally I mistrust people who are too into money or hard work... I think both are mental illness... most times human problems come
from too much... we tend to over do things... and look what we have done to the planet; something beautiful turned into a city dump...

would you work hard at gardening or permaculture? if life is a career, its not going to be very enjoyable...

personally I like exploring nature etc. not into money or working hard for money...

I like doing things of social benefit. and sometimes work hard at that...

[XRabbitHeartX]

Exploring nature won't pay your medical bills when you or your family get sick nor will it help put a roof over your head and giving you peace of mind when you someday retire. In a dream world working hard would be a foreign concept but for many people like me who come from a poor background it is highly unrealistic to say things like "not into money" or let me just go explore nature... how will that put food on the table or take care of me when something happens? Ignorance is bliss when it comes comes to that mentality. Not all people can sit around and do nothing. Some of us have to provide for our families and be there for people dependent on us. I despise lazy people. Growing up with a father who also hated "hard work" placed my family in high debt and lots of trauma and stress that I would never wish onto anyone.

[0112358]

Only a few women are true gold diggers, by which I mean, women who would pursue a man they weren't attracted to because of the financial gains.

Most women past their early 20's take a man's income into account as a factor that influences how attractive they find him, and whether they'd pursue a relationship with him. That's not quite the same as being a gold digger.

That's also not how men as a group operate, since many if not most men do NOT factor a woman's income in to their dating decisions. So the 'like a guy with ambition, impressed by a guy's success' sound to men's ears a lot like gold-digging, even though its different.

[Blonde401]

The only money I'm interested in is my own. Doesn't matter if a guy is broke or rich. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't work but if they just had a low paying job and could just get by? We'd have fun that's free :) (I'm not really wadded myself)

[Unit1]

I appreciated reading your take and I get the point you are making.
I think you are a great female having such an attitude.

It's just, that it's not so easy to detect a gold digger and tell it apart from "true" love.
Not very easy on my part.
I understand, that nobody wants to deal with an unemployed lazy ass.
Employed people make some money, making them worth something.
And this is the catch, that got me the most: While I wasn't earning money until I became 20 years old and employed, I haven't got anybody on my side.
This event encrypted in my head, that money is making me someone, who someone would be after... my money?
Because that made me someone "worth recognizing" so to say.

Sorry, I'm having a difficult time figuring that. Great take!

[skykidx1]

saying she a gold digga but she ain't messing with no broke nigga. Had a girlfriend her dad hated me tried forcing us apart she cried up to the point till a man with money come along then crused me out the very next day said ill fuck up her changes with this guy n treated me like shit. Am not saying all girls are like this but i give up a lot of things for this girl which i regert doing. Where o live right now everyone is having a por of trouble getting jobs even fast food jobs are barely hiring. But Thats not stoping me am stil pushing to improve myself every single day in 3 months ill have everything my ex ever wanted us to have. Now she could be right by myself saying she stand by her mom while he made something of himself but she didn't. Anyway thanks for reading am doing everything i ever wanted in like that she wouldn't support me doing like joining the guard.

[Moose2coolvargas]

So if a guy had a job and that was it, not rich or anything just an average joe, would you date even if the guy stayed in the same job.

[Hannah591]

Yes, that's my point but no-one's listening.

[Moose2coolvargas]

Ha know the feeling

[Tdieseler]

Agreed. Its not 100% of percent of women, just 99.9% lol... ok joke's over

you may not all be gold diggers, but if you could without being labelled you would. I mean, who doesn't like being splurged on? people do or avoid stuff just so they aren't labelled. Happens to both genders really.

[BigJake]

That's great. So you're not a gold digger... that says nothing about the other 3,500,000,000 women on the planet. The reality is that all women are attracted to successful men to some degree. Y'all like that money, and with good reason. Gotta have money to be having babies and buying houses. But just because you have no darker motives doesn't mean other women don't. They are out there, and there are enough of them around to cause us concern.

[Hannah591]

So you think I'm the only woman in that number to not be a gold digger?

I can buy my own house and I don't want babies. Plus most women are left by men when they have a baby so have to fend for themselves anyway.

[BigJake]

No, I don't think all women are gold diggers by any stretch. There are some really great girls out there, and I wish them well in their marriages.