Girl's Behavior

An End To Entitlement

After a long period of time reading the discussions here on the website, I felt the need to write an article communicating something that I believe needs to be said: "Entitlement will get you nowhere." The state of being entitled is defined as providing basis for laying claim to something, and I read about it in one form or another through some of the questions posted here with alarming regularity. Many of which have to do with people who are unhappy that they are not in a relationship, while doing absolutely nothing on their own to change their predicament - or worse, feel they that they are owed romantic happiness by life. Where to begin...

First, let me address my fellow guys out there who feel that flirting, showing interest or otherwise initiating things with the opposite sex is "too much work": in short, you are *clearly* not ready to date. Some men out there make it seem like doing the basic things required for interaction with women is the equivalent of performing brain surgery, and I think it's totally ridiculous. It's one thing if a guy has a legitimate condition like social anxiety disorder or something of that nature which inhibits his dating progress, they have my compassion and support in eventually confronting those issues. Also, shy guys of the world...I grew up as one of you and was in your shoes until my very late teens, I know where you're coming from - and I know how difficult it can be sometimes. But, my own experience taught me that progress doesn't happen when the effort is not put forth by stepping out of your comfort zone - a simple notion, but one which eluded me in adolescence. When I realized that I needed to put forth that effort *and* then followed up by doing so, I completely redefined my entire perspective on dating, and finally started my journey in romance - a journey that still teaches me something daily, and I am a better man for it. Men, I implore you: empower yourselves, do not be afraid to let your personalities shine through and ask out the girls that you want to regardless of what their answer may or may not be. You will hear some "no's" to be sure, but none of those rejections mean a damn thing when you hear that "yes". In summary, the bluntness of this paragraph's beginning is aimed only at the "entitled" guys who insist on waiting around for women to ask them out, instead of making the effort themselves. They are just depriving themselves of countless opportunities for dates, and that's both a shame and a sad disservice.

Let's switch sides here for a moment...ladies out there, building the foundation of a successful relationship is a two-person operation. Yes, men can make the initial efforts to flirt with you, start conversation and ask you out on a date. But after those initial overtures are complete, it's then time to also contribute some of yourselves - and before my words are misconstrued, allow me to be more specific. I refer to letting your personalities shine through as well, bring who you truly are as women along on your dates, and express that wholeheartedly. Another good idea is working with your guy to devise fun activities to do on your dates. My main message here is to be an *active participant* in the dating experience along with your guy - it makes the guy feel much more at ease to be sure. And when he is at ease with himself, I can almost guaran-damn-tee that he'll do a much better job of making *you* more at ease with *him*. Like in a lot of other areas in life, communication and participation are absolutely essential and are the lifeblood of both dating and relationships - without them, relationships cannot be sustained. In the spirit of fairness, to the "entitled" women out there who don't feel they should contribute to relationship-building and expect the guy to cover it all, you are also potentially depriving yourselves of many wonderful experiences with guys - ones who would love to get to know you, if you can find it within yourselves to put forth some effort to get to know *them*.

Truly, "entitlement" is the enemy of progress for both sexes. The people in this world who feel that things should just magically happen for them, or even worse, that they are *owed* something by life without enacting the commitment to accomplish it need a serious reality check. What I'm trying to say in this article is that to begin dating or a relationship takes EFFORT. Bottom-line, you *need* to put the time in to enjoy the rewards, men and women alike. When it comes to romance or anything else in life for that matter, we are not *owed* anything...it is up to us to MAKE IT HAPPEN. So, with that said ladies and gents, make it happen - do the work, and take a chance in life...you may be very glad that you did.
An End To Entitlement
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