Girls: Why We Need to Stop Seeing Each Other as Competition

[ginny_weasley]

Every time I hear a girl say, "I don't really get along with girls," I just cringe.

Too many girls see other girls as competition. I can't help but wonder why we can't get along. I just want you to know I am here for you. It's hard being a girl. Yes, men also have their problems but so do girls. Females need to stick together. We are all on the same side. How many of you girls have immediately heard a girl's name and thought something negative? Right now you should all be raising your hand. Even if you feel you have nothing in common with a girl, we all have one thing in common and that is every girl gets periods. I guarantee your period has made you so frustrated that you could rant about it all day at least once. See? There is something is common right there.

What I promise:

If someone, doesn't matter if they're male or female is acting creepy towards you, and they make you come up to me and say, "this guy/girl won't leave me alone," I will start talking to you like we have known each other since preschool until they leave you alone.

I won't judge your lifestyle. Some girls like to party and others like to stay home and read or go on Netflix. Either way we need to respect each other's personal lifestyle. Don't worry about how many people you've slept with. There is no pleasing people. You're always a slut or a prude. No grey area. Just make sure you're being safe and smart.

I also won't judge how you choose to date. Some people would feel comfortable getting lunch with a stranger, nothing more, and others would hook up with a stranger. Either way it doesn't matter as long as you're safe.

I won't judge your body. Body shaming is bullying. It doesn't matter if you're 90 pounds or 300 pounds. Most girls hate something about their body and that's by the age of 10.

If you want to rant to me about someone or something, just follow me and you can start ranting in a private message. We don't even have to be friends.

Girls understand what it feels like to be ecstatic at 8 pm and in tears at 2 am. We recognize the importance of keeping chocolate on hand. And of course why it's important to have a variety of romantic comedies to choose from.

I won't see you as competition. If a girl can steal my man, then by all means take him. I would want someone better anyways. And it's completely okay to compliment other girls.

We need to stop viewing other girls as enemies because we're not. Or at least we shouldn't be. We are in this together and we need to act like it.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

I'm usually friendly with other women, but they always seem to be rude to me because of my looks. It's frustrating because you'd think since women tend to be competitive, it would be a prettier girl they hate, not me. I am not attractive at all, and it's something girls have always pointed out to me, including my own sister. Guys have never been as mean to me as other women have when it comes to my looks. I'm the kind of girl guys will never like, and I'll never compete with you because I know guys won't want me. You don't have to worry about me being chosen over you, it will never happen. Thankfully, the older I get, the less this happens. It was horrible in my early 20s. It wasn't even as bad in High School as it was when I was about 20-25.

When I was 19 at my old job, one of the older women actually hated me though. I carpooled with the guy she wanted, and she thought he would want me. She was prettier than me even though she was 40, so I don't get what she had to be jealous of. He about her age too anyway.

Thankfully right now I get along with any female co-workers I have, and the girl friends I have.

[PlainJane86]

I know what you mean, it's strange. I am unattractive, and if the looks I get from other high school girls could kill, I'd be dead. Yet, I've heard my friends say they hate certain girls that are considered conventionally beautiful. I think it's really tough for women because many of them judge other women for being "ugly" or beautiful. It's a lose-lose.

In the spirit of this take, though, and just because I hate to see other people put themselves down, you sound like a beautiful person inside, and I'm sure your outside matches!

[Hopefuldreamer8]

@PlainJane86 thank you, and I am sure you're very pretty too.

[Waffles731]

I've never understood the competition mindset in both guys and girls, it just seems like an excuse to act like a dick

[RedHood7]

It's mostly abpout insecure and somewhat douchey people sabottaging others in hopes they'll get what they want. They dont by the way.

[Lightspeed-Lemon]

"Females need to stick together. We are all on the same side."

I keep hearing lines like this. Another great one is "There is a special place in hell for women who don't support other women." Yet there isn't the same expectation that men should all get along just cause they're men. I certainly don't like or support every male out there. Aren't we all individuals? There are people you will like and get along with. Then there are others you will have an intense dislike for and inability to be friends with because their thinking and values are so different from yours. There are nasty and evil people of both genders in this world. Yes, we should still try to be respectful and civil toward everyone we meet, and I don't think anyone disagrees that there is too much needless backstabbing and verbal abuse going on. But why this silly expectation that females should arbitrarily band together and become close friends just because they share the same genitalia? That is essentially seeing women for their gender only, not for their individuality as people.

[ginny_weasley]

Cool your jets. I am just saying women tend to be catty for no reason. And to each other. It's why so many women are insecure about themselves.

[Lightspeed-Lemon]

Ok. I'm sure you are right about that. But that's what you should say, not that females are all on the same side. Because that only implies that males are on the opposing side.

[rjroy3]

Or we we can all just accept the fact that no one is going to get along with absolutely ever single person that they meet. If a girl meets a lot of women that are bitches to her, that's not really something she can change. And telling her or them no no no its not a competition doesn't change the fact that those women are bitches. Lol. Some people just suck and you don't want them as friends. It's ok to accept that.

Now if a girl says she never gets along with other girls or simply has no female friends, then that's something deeper. Because there's something specific about her past just being surrounded by assholes.

[ginny_weasley]

Of course no one is totally going to get along. I am saying girls need to quit being catty to each other for no reason.

[rjroy3]

Wholeheartedly agree there

[Shorty1991]

Lol, you got me spot on with your last paragraph.

[Jasmine17]

Can we become best friends.. Lol I 100% agree a woman should not feel the need that she is in competition with other woman. We need to start complenting each other instead of comparing each other. I also don't judge girls if you want to go out to the club almost every weekend by all means you go ahead or if you like to just stay home and watch netflix then that is fine as well. Some woman also don't like to settle down they are more in to the friends with benefits thing and other woman tend to call those woman sluts which is a shame because we already have to deal with guys calling woman sluts.

[ginny_weasley]

I agree completely and yes we can be friends. 😀

[Love_Is_Eternal]

But many women ARE sluts.

[Jasmine17]

@Love_Is_Eternal Cool do you want a cookie?

[kitty71]

I always heard that for instance when a woman goes out to bars or to discos is not really to impress guys, although it could play a part but mostly we, women, dress up and want to dress sexy for other women, so they can see us we can be sexy too, we like to impress other women, not really the guys, cause i also read that guys dont give a ratz if a lady is wearing a Loui Vitton purse, or some Gucci shoes or that our shirt is from Versace, they can see all of us the same, regarldess if were bradn clothes or not, they could care less, as look as we are presentable and appealing is ok by them, the real competition is the women, cause if you can see closely, at bars or discos, women also stare at us, they give us that look to check from head to toe.

[deusexmachinaa]

It sucks that girls don't see each other as sisters, we always drag each other down as jealously. Its OK if another is more "attractive" than you are, appreciate her beauty! You also have to remember that you have your own beauty as well! Also to the girls that get jealous of girls who dress up and make effort to look nice, you should too! It will make you feel a lot more confident and better about yourself.

[zagor]

Yeah, you just need to spread that message in RL.

Example: I was sitting with a girl (who I suspect liked me) and I complemented the dancing of a girl on the floor; the response I got, "yeah, but she is older than she looks, she is just very good with makeup".

[ginny_weasley]

That was rude. Today at the library, I heard one of the employees ask one of her coworkers I kid you not her exact words were, "don't you have anything better to do than to just stand there?"
There wasn't much for her to do, it was quiet. Here I was thinking she was a sweet old lady.

[zagor]

Some people become jealous of the attributes of others. I like to think I've gotten beyond that. When I see someone taller (and I'm about 6 ft), I think, wow, they must hit their head a lot...

[JuicyBrain]

@ginny_weasley
To be honest, if the one asking was working her ass off and the other one was just standing there, she had a reason to be pissed. If I had a coworker sitting on her/his ass while I am doing the work, I'd be pissed too.

[ginny_weasley]

@JuicyBrain that's the problem she wasn't doing anything either. I don't think there was anything to be done.,

[FakeName123]

Except that you can't build others up. You can give compliments and be nice, but the best compliments can be worthless if the person can take them.

Reality is that a healthy competition is definitiely not a bad thing. The problem is that many girls that are insecure bring the competition to an unhealthy way.

[ginny_weasley]

A compliment is still a compliment. Whether or not the person takes it.

[BuchitaBuchys]

I don't have a problem with female friends, but I still get extremely jealous of pretty women. I also won't slut shame and try not to body shame, but if you are attractive and you have problems, I won't really take them seriously seeing as you're genetically blessed. Depending on the severity of course.

[txdiie_]

Awesome!!! I love this but... think about this! Let's see, if you like this guy and another more popular/pretty girl likes him (like me at the moment) wouldn't you think they are competition. They are more likely to get him (especially highschool guys which most I know of are really shallow these days). It's like your going for a talent contest and you find out 'oh hey Beyonce is before me...'

[CHARismatic110]

Love this! I feel the same way. Women can be so catty for no reason and it really boggles my mind. We tear each down so much. It's really sad. Thanks for writing this. At least there's one other girl out there that feels the same.

[SmandyCandy]

It's hard not to when the guy that you're attracted to is always seen with the usual real fit girl and you aren't but constantly catch him eyeing you.. So you compare

[ginny_weasley]

Doesn't sound like a great guy. I would rather stay single than be with a guy with wandering eyes.

[SmandyCandy]

I agree but my mind can't help but wonder lol

[annie-cz]

I wish I worked out like that. What you're saying makes sense. But it just happens to be so that some people don't like your company. Some people d

[annie-cz]

Some girls just don't like your company regardless how friendly and helping you are. It could even be that they don't like hanging out with "uglier " ones. At least that's what I see here with my clas of age.

[ginny_weasley]

Being in middle school is hard. Once you get older, things do get better. I think choosing a friend based on how they look is like choosing a cereal based on the color. Just focus on your schoolwork and your future self will thank you.

[annie-cz]

I absolutely agree that I should focus on school now. I find it very difficult to have the inner strength to get from A to B when one has problems with fitting in.

[PlainJane86]

@ginny_weasley Hey, a Paper Towns reference! I love that quote. I love your take as well, sad, but true. I like the offer of being someone for anyone to rant to, lol :)

@annie-cz Yes, middle school and high school can be very hard. I never fit in at school either, but I'm slowly coming out of my shell and finding my true friends in my last year of high school. I know it sounds cheesy, but never compromise who you are or your values for others, your real friends will be drawn to the real you. I haven't felt better about my friend situation than I do now, and I have been through the wringer since I was little when it comes to friends. If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to message me!

[TheTruthHurtsImSorry]

It baffles me just how insecure women are and just how low they will stoop to spite one another.

I've known women that will try to date a guy just because another woman likes him, even if she has no intrest in him at all. It really is disturbing, and it comes from immaturity. Guys would never even consider doing something like that just to get at another dude.

[dipta]

I wouldn't bet on "guys would never".

[CisScum]

Eh competition between anyone is usually pretty stupid and usually childish. But I can see why girls wouldn't like hanging out with girls. Some just prefer hanging out with men and that's completely okay too. It's all a matter of taste and perspective.

[flintlockwood]

Nicetake. I also feel like we should all start to work together and not shame each other. Also just as a side not i find male/female competition coming to light. I find it sad that a lot of men and women in relationships also compete over who should earn more and stuff like that.

But great mytake :)

[supernerd99]

many girls want to just rip other girls eyes out. especially if they find them prettier or more successful. well thankfully not many are that "red level consciousness" though.. . not that we are any better. gay shaming all handsome male celebrities and stuff... .

[Berethor]

"You on the same side", ya keep telling it to yourself, it's going to break as soon as you would start to fight with other girl over something. To think that people identified only/mainly by their gander is kinda silly to, not once I felt more close with girls that have similar believes to my own, then with guys that have very different believes.

[HappierThanYou]

I don't understand why women feel the need to be beautiful anyway. The stark honest truth, is near enough all women look pretty much the same. 99.999% of women you look ok, nothing special, nothing wrong, just ok. Yet they all expect a man to to think they are the most beautiful thing in the entire world and if they don't think that, it's the biggest insult ever. Women need to get over this obsession and accept this fact.

[ginny_weasley]

No woman thinks that unless they're crazy or can't handle rejection. We will stop caring what we look like when society stops making us feel like shit every time we leave the house.

[rgb008]

I do my best to not compare when i see another attractive girl, but I don't know it just happens. I always wanna look my best, but sometimes its not enough I don't know.
Stems from my own problems hahaah

[Library]

Jealousy is not a good feeling. I have to admit it, I get jealous of some guys but I don't act like a dick about it.