When a man did come into my life I learned a very important lesson that I wish to impart to all first-time daters. I learned that I was my own worst enemy.
For some, dating will not be as great a challenge. I only wish I could be so lucky. For others, like me, dating will be one of the scariest leaps we take. To those I want to warn you about some ways you may keep yourself from entering a relationship.
1. Books and movies are not how-to guides: They don't come close to the emotions you feel when you're with that special someone. Sure, you can feel good when you're living a romance through the written word or motion picture; but you don't feel the anxiety or doubt because that aspect of romance is not typically portrayed.
2. Don't let friends take over the relationship: Unless the person you want to date is known for abuse or some huge criminal offense, your friends should not have very much weight in the beginning of the relationship. If you are doubting yourself in the relationship it does not help to have even one friend going against the relationship. You need to make a decision based on your thoughts, not your friend. You are the one in the relationship.
3. Don't psyche yourself out: I hate uncertainty. Because of my hate for uncertainty I am constantly referring to what-ifs. Those what-ifs tend to pull me toward the negatives of relationships which cause me to doubt the whole relationship. Don't let the negatives outweigh the positives. There are those of us who would allow the negatives to drown the positives, effectively killing anything god about the relationship. This will quickly snuff your desire for this relationship.
4. Don't run away from your feelings: For some, having any attraction to a person above friendship causes a feeling of vulnerability. The emotions you have for that person leaves you open for hurt. I like to be in control of my emotions, that way I don't deal with rejection or pain. I learned that I have to be willing to trust another person with my emotions. If you keep your emotions to yourself, you will be stuck within a relationship with yourself.
Now, for each piece of advice listed above there are plenty of exceptions. I only hope that what I have shared can be useful to some who are in similar situations.
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