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To The Girl Who's Dating An Asshole (Page 3)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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Either 1, you are not attractive enough or 2, you have shown that you don't value yourself either. When she said that she wanted to date someone like you then with all the confidence in the world you should have said "Then dump your loser boyfriend and let's go out" But you didn't. She doesn't want some guy that gets jealous when good looking guys talk to her because you are insecure. Sorry man, it's the way it is.
Literally, this is my life. I almost cried reading this because it brought back bad memories. Am I a sweet sensitive guy or a loser who can't control his emotions? Make up your mind about what you want ladies. It's getting old.
By the way, getting mad for feeling heartbroken doesn't make a guy an asshole, it makes him a human.
Actually, that's true. Nobody should be made fun of for being heartbroken or being a sensitive guy. Being sweet and sensitive a big plus. The downside is when you're not taking responsibility for your side of the story. People rarely ever reject others for being sweet and sensitive, if it's genuine, but for being manipulative and a doormat. That's what "sweet and sensitive" usually translates to when a guy has to openly declare that. I'm always skeptical when people make these declarations about their own attributes. Let other people be the judge of that. Let's just put it this way: is it more important to be *seen* as the sweet sensitive guy or to actually *be* the sweet sensitive guy. The way you answer this question is all you need to know.
@cherryphi82 I just act like myself. Im definitely not a man who gets manipulated cause I see right through that shit. But I'm usually shy around women until I've opened up. But I view sex very differently than others nowadays. I believe in modesty and self respect and loving the person that makes you happy. If that makes me weak or unmanly? What does that say about expectations women have? Like most people, we are complex beings and aren't one thing or another but a little bit of everything. I would assume a girl would fall in love with me for who I am, which happens to be asshole sometimes but a gentle man as well.
What would I be taking responsibility for exactly? I'm curious what you mean by that.
Being shy is normal. Being modest and self-respect are great, too. What I'm referring to is the fact that a lot of guys think of themselves as sweet and sensitive when they are actually just like everybody else. I'm sure you *are* sometimes sweet and sensitive, but to make that the hallmark of your personality compared to other people seems sort of dishonest. It could just be that those guys you perceive as assholes act that way in the precise moments you see them. Being nice, sweet, sensitive, respectful are required of ALL people. They are not bonus perks that should make some people more desired than others. So for you to highlight those attributes makes me skeptical about your motives. And you yourself just said that you're sometimes an asshole. Plus one for honesty but what exactly then makes your assholery different from the assholery those other guys you call assholes have? I bet those guys have a sweet and sensitive side to them. You just focus on when they are being an asshole
Just focus on yourself bro. Put God first, develop your craft whatever it is, get in good shape, travel and become the coolest version of yourself. Then when the females come out of the woodwork because of your success, the only thing you have to do is filter out the ones who are not worth your time and recognize the one who is for you.
MOST OF ALL, SEEK A GODLY WOMAN. Especially in these days... Trust me on that.
It is difficult when you have your heart set on a woman who's in a bad relationship, but she's an adult and has to make the move to get rid of a bad boyfriend herself. It's usually best to avoid getting interested in a women in such a situation- much better to do it when she is again single and has completely moved on.
Most women are not dating assholes. And for the ones who are dating assholes, half of them don't even get to find out the dude was a jerk until they're well-in the relationship. Because some guys like to show their true colors later, when the girl has already developed a lot feelings for the guy.
Wow, usually I just thumbs up a take or say nice take, but you seriously touched me with your words, this was a REALLY good take!
And for me as a girl thanks for opening my eyes
I appreciate that I’ve touched you. I wanted to get that feeling with my audience and practice my writing skills. So I appreciate that you like it.
hey man i have been there too it happened when i got rejected the first time. I asked this cute girl out because I saw the signs that she liked me i did it on the last day of school i was shy to ask her out until i took some balls to do it. After I asked her out she said no then I proceed to ask if we could be friends she can't because of her boyfriend. So I just leaver her as im heartbroken. As the next school year comes by I see her but i dont talk to her anymore as she always staring at me but I just roll my eyes at her and I learned my lesson to be confident. Bro can you answer my two question i dont know if this girl from my drama class likes me it really help! I loved the rant by the way its so relatable.
Look I don’t know what to say to help you, I do feel bad for you, you got your heart broken that’s tough but these guys aren’t such assholes girls are just expressing how they feel in the moment. I understand why your heart but if you’re just friends with this girl hoping she will go out with you then you need to move on, build friendships for the sake of being friends, no matter how close to this girl you are she does not owe you a relationship, you asked she said no end of
She's crossing the friendship line by bringing up her relationship problems to her single male friend. It's inappropriate. You don't understand the perspective of the author.
@Wwwyzzerdd friends discuss things, opening up about her feelings towards her boyfriend probably means she sees the author as a close friend who she can trust. If he’s happy being that person for her he should be her friend, of course he can ask her out but it’s not her fault if she’s not interested.
She clearly values his friendship as she would value the friendship of anyone else male or female, single or otherwise and so she feels like she can talk about her life
Read this again.
@Wwwyzzerdd I honestly don't think it's inappropriate. The girl is right, friends are for sharing. I've had my friends complain to me about their relatonships while I've been single and into them. If you have a problem with certain topics, you say you don't feel nice about them, so they're never mentioned again. If you have a problem, but you keep quiet about it, guess what, it won't disappear
I'm sorry to say but your approach and interaction with her comes off as needy. Especially this line screams for all the wrong reasons: "You were the perfect girl for me, or so I thought. This is why I can't get a girlfriend."
Secondly, what would you bring to the table if you were together with her? Are you an interesting guy? Are you independent?
I would bring some things to the table. I’ve played the violin for 9 years, played the guitar for about 6 years, studying finance in college (so I can make a lot of money), I’m funny, I think I’m smart I don’t really know for sure
I don't think it's entirely fair to question what he brings to the table. I've known a lot of guys that I have not been attracted to/where just like this guy that where very accomplished. So yeah, I wouldn't say questioning this guy's abilities is a good move. You can be very successful and still not have the "it" factor for some people.
Dude, she doesn't deserve you. Go find a girl who will appreciate you instead of leading you on like that, especially if she knows that she doesn't have any intentions of being with you. All the other people here who are blaming you for being hurt because she isn't attracted to you, are only focused on physical attraction so, don't worry about what they have to say.
"All the other people here who are blaming you for being hurt because she isn't attracted to you, are only focused on physical attraction so, don't worry about what they have to say."
Could you elaborate on that some more?
I got more contempt for orbiters like you than the "assholes" .
You are doormats to these girls and are begging for sloppy seconds.
Why not find your own girl?
Like attracts like, most of the time those men and girls match, you dont.
Go find someone your tempo
Emotionally abusive relationships are genuinely hard to get out of, that's the whole point of emotional manipulation- and that's why it's now a legally recognised form of abuse in the UK.
You can't shit on a girl for that.
They choose abuse over and over and over and over and over again, conveniently snubbing good men and trashing their image along the way.
Men vote with their wallets and their guns.
Women vote with their vaginas.
For the last 60 years women have been voting for worse men and a worse world.
So yeah, you can shit on girls for that.
@HereComesDrTran The man has a point...
@satankicksgodsass he doesn’t, he hasn’t even got his basic dates right, so I’m certainly not believing his opinion is thoroughly based on fact.
Seen it myself. Dated myself. It does in fact happen. And it's quite sad that so many girls can't even admit it. I see guys easyily admit they can be terrible humans. But stereotypes expect it anyways. You have the warnings. Girls though? Stereotypes say they are smarter... I am starting to beleive that's BS. Who are the ones always more into law, philosophy, deep music, etc? Sorry, it's guys.
@satankicksgodsass On average, women are said to be smarter, but that's because there's more of a spread in mens IQs- I probably know more deep women than men.
Admitting that you're a terrible human and not changing it makes you a total douche, if theyre improving, fair enough.
And we have the warnings? To an extent yes, and most women I know are constantly wary (which I'll add isn't a pleasant way to live) on one hand, if someone says to a woman as she's thinking of dating a guy "He's horrible, he's violent, he's abusive, he's manipulative" and then she goes there, that's idiotic. On the other hand, we know that nearly everyone is technically capable of rape and murder physically, but not necessarily morally- if you date a sociopath, they're so good at holding a front of care and charisma that you don't know immediately, so you can't know to avoid them.
I know some very clever men and some very clever women, every person/relationship is different- blanket statements dont help anyone
True. Yet then again, I still am starting to hold doubt. Look at the "This is America" video and how much of a masterpiece it is. Then, look at the awful "women's revision" that completely trashes any and all subtle symbolism and lyrics. I am starting to have this eerie feeling and I think others may share it. It's this feeling that while feminism can be good, it's starting to jump in front of other issues for BOTH men and women to hog attention. Understandably, issues that affect men and women more are just as important or maybe more so than just women's issues. On top of this, I can easily sense many women pushing the movement in a bad way. You have to be able to get guys to talk to guys about it. You can't talk to a guy about it and expect him to always fully understand. Everybody isn't going to put self interests aside. All guys are going to have at least bottom line interests we share.
Bro, move on. Get other hoes. You need to get over the fact that this girl put you in the friend zone and you allowed it to happen. Find other women. Be an asshole yourself or be confident and see how women will notice you. Work on yourself. Become an alpha.
Stereotypical nice guy? If a person like that is a bad boy whi is crappy and a the stereotypical bad boy is a guy who acts like what you say a lut the nice guy, then what do you call guys like me who are only nice to women probably like you are?
Yikes😣 i should have checked my spelling, lol. At any rate... she DOES know how YOU feel about her? Right? Maybe i missed it. I would say that girls like her learn it the hard way... BUT a lot of the time they dont. can't you just say this shit to her instead of to us?
Read the whole thing bro.
Don't worry... when they hit 30 and they can't use their looks and promise of vagina to get through life, they get desperate and stop being as shallow. But by then you will have become the kind of man that won't want these expired "desperate dating app" females.
They get their just deserts.
This is a fairly old video, but I think you need some reminding...
https://youtu.be/3VXXXX9iVPIoh no not her I had to watch her in a response video from Ling Long. she has a few good points but overall putting her bad experiences into the topic
If you are stupid enough to keep doing same shit over and over again while you have a chance to change it if it is not working, maybe your insane ass deserves it.
If she's not on your dick, why would you listen to anything she had to say?
If she is on your dick, why would you listen to anything she has to say?
They like to be treated like crap. Quagmire and Stewie had it right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JfckkwuTusHere’s a thought: if a girl you like is dating “assholes” then that says something about her personality. Don’t get hung up on her, look for a different girl.