Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

[Pinay_ako]

“Are you okay?”

“Are you mad?”

“Girl, smile!”

Yes, I cannot count how many times I get asked this on the daily. I am minding my own business, and the world still has to mind mine and just ruin my already good mood. I get it, you’re concerned about my face but the constant minding gets old. Everyone seems to like a girl who’s always in a good mood with a smile plastered on their face making this world a happy place! But this is me. I am sure you know some girls who have the RBF and even some guys too.

Here are the struggles of a girl with an RBF:

1. Guys don’t approach

We give off that vibe sending guys going to the opposite direction. I am sorry, my face is like that but I really want you to say hi to me. I could be shy too. Because I have an RBF, a guy may think I will shut him down or I am too full of myself that they’re already turned off just looking at my mug. Listen up, deep down that cold exterior, there’s a girl who has a lot of love to give. Give her a chance. You never know she could be the girl of your dreams, the mother of your future children!

2. I look intimidating

Trust me, I am a friendly person. My face just doesn’t cooperate. Say hi to me, I don't bite! We could be best friends at the end.

3. Why so serious?

I am a fun girl. I am not boring. My face looks like this but I can make you smile and give you some of the best times of your life.

4. Mean girl

Just because my face looks mean but I am no mean girl. In fact, I am goofy to my friends and I am loyal to my family.

5. Do not tell me to smile

Please don’t. It's rude! I will smile when I feel like it. When you see me smile, it’s genuine. That means you really made me happy and made my day.

6. Moody

I could be at my happiest; my face will look the same. Just don’t ruin it by asking me if I am mad? Then... I become moody lol.

7. Stoic

I could be thinking what to make for dinner tonight or where I left my lipstick at because it’s gone missing. Then someone goes what’s wrong with you?

8. Bitchy

One of the worst things people describe girls with an RBF. A smiling girl doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a ray of sunshine. She could be silently plotting your death for all we know.

9. Zoning out

Life gets crazy busy, it feels good to zone out the noise and bs and just escape to your happy place at least in your head… When I zone out, I travel to a place where no one judges my face. But again, people looking at me thinking is something wrong with her?

10. People talking behind my back

What else is new? I could be reading something online or writing an important email to the boss, people around me start wondering and asking each other why is she so quiet.

I know people around me are just being nice and have my best interest at heart but it gets annoying. This is how I am and my face will always look like this. I do smile when I am happy. If you truly know me, you’d understand that I am not perpetually moody. Before you judge me, maybe you should get to know me first. After all, don’t always judge a book by its cover. You never know what beautiful story lies ahead once you open past the hard plain cover.

Cheers to the beautiful girls/guys with a resting bitch face and to those who don’t!

Thanks for the time reading.

XOs Pinay_Ako

[Evil_Chuck]

I feel for you. Generally men aren't under as much pressure to fake happiness, but I have a naturally serious expression and I hear some of this too. My mother used to tell me to stop scowling all the time, but that's not it. I'm just too tired to hold my eyebrows up any higher.
Worse, I have social anxiety too and I struggle to read others' expressions and body language. Every important conversation is an effort to understand the other person while forcing a "friendly" expression on my face so I don't send the wrong message. It becomes exhausting.

[Aitch]

I’m the male version of this. I look frustrated, nervous, bored and angry when I don’t do any facial expression at all. People always be like, “bro are you okay?” ,”what’s up with you?” It’s just my face. I’m a happy and funny guy. You be nice to me, I be nice to you.

[Hamsteroids]

As a gal with RBF, I relate to allll of this lol after making friends with people, I’d get commonly told “I thought you were a bitch” “you seemed mean when I first met you” “you looked mad” lol its both a gift and a curse. It’s good for avoiding weirdos and salespeople but sucks when guys are too “afraid” to approach 😩

[Celeste951]

Yeah! My friends now still sometimes ask me if I'm mad at them when in actuality I'm perfectly fine.

[emmily2396]

People who ask girls to smile are idiots. I smile when I fucking feel like it. I won't smile to ease your insecurities. Fake smiles are creepy, why would people want that?

[Pinay_ako]

It's rude as hell.

[roxy_362]

Very well put!..

[Nonbinary]

You should smile more.
LOL jk

[DianaWest]

yeah, I think I have it too. people keep telling me to smile. one guy even told me to "stay strong. things will get better." and I was like? honestly. try not to stare at any one person for too long though. if you stare at one person for a long time, they'll think you're giving them attitude, and then they'll proceed to give attitude as well, and it will turn ugly. honestly, i'm just minding my own business. I glance at a woman for a split second walking past me at a table, and she sits near me and starts yelling about what a rude b***h I am. and of course, her behaviour made me lose it, so great. although I can usually differentiate between someone's RBF and their intentional bitch face. the intentional ones usually have arched eyebrows or contorted eyebrows, and the corners of their mouths are curled up into either an exaggerated sneer or curled down into a disgusted look. a person with RBF just has a blank, cold stare. whatever. but if they pair that stare with visibly arched eyebrows and a sneer, then we have some greater issues than RBF at hand.

[roxy_362]

You said pretty much everything out there that could support your case, and the unfortunate truth is quite evident. But, perhaps you also realize what you describe is a particular case of the more generic attitude of the society imposing its expectations upon you. Every single day, both men & women are being reminded about what they should be and how they should behave in myriad ways. It is unfair, no doubt, but the unwritten rules of conforming to the crowd and sacrificing from your true identity, self-respect and well-being is almost constantly demanded by the greater (!) well-being of your tribe.

I hope your well-written article serves to remind us all the boundaries and worth of an individual vis-à-vis all the various larger groups of which she/he is a constituent.

[SueShe]

This is me a 100% and I like the fact that I have a name to put on my face.

I am actually proud to be in the listed under #1. "Guys don't approach".

I have learned to use that kind of face whenever I am in public and I feel observed and under attack from guys.

I just did not know that there was a name to it.

I don't like to smile in public and in a crowd because I experienced that people misinterpret a smile and take it as an invitation to chat or flirt.

Actually, I have gotten good at it and when I am not in the mood, it is a combination of #1 and #4.
There is nothing worse than when you are doing something and people just want to chat about everything and nothing. It gets difficult to concentrate on what I am doing.

I don't know if other girls are experiencing the same disagreement when having a neutral or smiling face.

Fact is that when someone asks why I am so serious, I can proudly tell them that I have my RBF.

Thanks for this great myTake

[belarus]

They actually attack you?

[SueShe]

@belarus No, not physically attack but more being hit on by them

[yowsa]

Sorry, but life isn't fair. It might help to look at it this way; you could be ugly and have have RBF! But, you're quite pretty. So maybe that makes up for it. You can learn to lighten your countenance, while ugly people are stuck with their ugly mugs.

[yowsa]

And, "struggles" might be better left to describe families living in a tin shack on a trash heap in a slum.

[Pinay_ako]

When I meant "struggles", struggle in a light hearted way not the end of the world kind of way like poverty but thank you for your comment

[yowsa]

Oh OK, sorry. Sometimes the questions here seem like "first-world problems" 🤓 I'm in the same boat you are, I always look serious, so it turns off women. People at my dad's office were always telling him the same thing, and that he should smile. 😁

[ariadneR]

your first sentence got me...

I hate when im walkng down the street minding my own business, maybe thinking of what I am going to have for dnner or if i locked the door, and I hear "hey baby you why so serious? You should smile. I bet you have a nice smile" Fuck off. Its rude

[freewife]

This is so familiar to me, made me laugh hahaha! Thank you. Sometimes my wife has that hard RBF and I really don't know what to do even after 20+ years! Usually it's better to go away for a while and her normal radiant self returns. It is hard, but it never stops me loving her. She nearly always gets her way when the RBF is deployed, but thankfully it is not often required. :-)

[Pinay_ako]

Thanks ☺️ glad to hear I made you laugh

[freewife]

you really did! It was very descriptive, and I had such a picture in mind. For some reason I think the east Asian RBF is both threatening and alluring if that is possible. The frown is the killer though, you know you're in deep shit or really crossed some line... never any doubt whatsoever, and it'll cost ya. Hahaha!

[Pinay_ako]

🤣 how do you know this? From experience?

[freewife]

Most of my experience is with my wife who I do make frown occasionally but I try and avoid that.

More in general, often north east Asian women particularly have what appears to be very expressionless looks on their face which might be interpreted as an RBF by some. I think it is partly cultural.

Your explanations were really insightful thanks! My wife has said similar things to me to explain why she looks pissed off sometimes and not to worry about it, but it's hard not to sometimes. Body language is a powerful thing. But to get your independent view is great.

[Pinay_ako]

I appreciate your feedback 🙏

[ShadowofRegret]

Personally, I prefer when she shows a range of different expressions based on her mood, I guess you could say I like when women show their humanity by showing different emotions like that, not to mention an attractive woman with a serious look in her eyes is quite appealing to me personally.

[ShadowofRegret]

Accidentally posted before I was done.😅


Erza Scarlet (Fairy Tail)

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Ciri (The Witcher 3)

[ShadowofRegret]

[cherryqueen01]

I have that + i'm extremely shy so I don't talk much so people absolutely do not approach me lol. Both having a resting bitch face and being shy are things that makes you come off as rude (as i've noticed many people takes you not talking to them as a personal insult that you think you're better than them so you don't care about getting to know them).

[GraveDoll]

story of my life.

I had a dude actual tell me he sees me around a lot and says i never see you smile. I said oh Not a smiler and dont like my smile. He like even if you do not like your smile others might.

I was like:

oh I didn't know I was the missing link to fixing the problem of the world.

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

I say a short quick hi to almost everyone with a smile. I watch their face completely change in that instant. Just because a light is not shining does not mean its burned out. Just needs a little power.

Funny thing. One day as an experiment I decided to give coworkers a chance to say hi first. Only 2 did. (Other than this girl who competes with me to say it first. Its become a secret agent game.) But I found out later that day all those people thought something was really bothering me. But they never asked.
Maybe not so funny. The world needs more people who daily spark that switch to dismiss the resting bitch.

[jgokgotit]

Lmao I am prior military so my face looks much harder than I mean it to be. We are trained to be like that. I am literally one of the goofiest people around when you know me. I guess this also gives me more confidence to talk to a woman that has "resting bitch face" because it doesn't scare me.

[StingRayxoxo]

Based on your profile picture, I wouldn't have though you have RBF!

[Pinay_ako]

Aww thanks hun. I do lol and I cannot help it

[Just-Confused]

.. I don't know sometimes I think I'd rather have that problem. I'm sure something's wrong with my eyebrows though because I can't do that face at all. I can't frown or I just look sad cause my eyebrows don't go down far enough no matter how hard I scowl, I just look like I'm trying not to cry. I'd rather have RBF. Sounds less annoying to me. But then the grass is always greener..

[themomo84]

LOVE IT! I have RBF and people think I'm angry perpetually. I am half asleep and zoned out more than half the time. I am considerate of others and don't personalize anything at work or in casual settings. If you are my friend or boyfriend or girlfriend, you would know when I'm not myself. I start every convo with hey y'all I have RBF. It doesn't mean a thing. If they don't want to find out more, it's their decision. I am ok with it!

[FrenchGirl2]

I relate. I have a resting bitch face 24/7. I look mad for people and yet I give my self time at the pet shelter. This is bad. But why smile like an idiot when you can have a relaxed face. That makes me look like a bitch

[Flower7]

This was hilarious. I could relate to a lot of it. Your post made me smile a real smile.

[Pinay_ako]

Thanks :)

[blkhermano]

This "RBF" is nothing new. How many guys have the same face and we don't get a simple 'hello'?

People can't read each other's minds. The reason why that expression is perceived as unapproachable is likely do to previous experience.

A guy can approach a woman who is smiling and such and still get shutdown, badly. It's logical to expect that a woman with that expression is considered "do not approach"

[Jamie05rhs]

I have the male version. in my opinion, the best way to combat that is to intentionally make conversation with people. You exercise your facial muscles when you talk, and conversations always have the potential to bring up something funny and that could make you smile. :)

[Jamie05rhs]

#1 is totally true, though.

[FatherJack]

Yes have a male RBF ( Resting Bastard Face? ) I rarely , if ever smile , round my way , smiles are rare from anyone. People should NEVER " tell you to smile " ... esp a stranger !! None of their business , I mind my own busines , and expect others to do so too. The person may have just been bereaved or suffered other trauma !! One point..." 1. Guys don’t approach" ... I was under the impression women mostly do NOT want men appproaching them , therefore welcome the RBF male repellent effect

[Lman3000]

Hmm I could relate, I never smile often in public, mostly cause I hate my teeth and how gums were formed, and having an average doesn't help, so I just look serious all of the time, even my friends say when say when they first met me thought I was an intimidating looking guy until they got to know me