Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

“Are you okay?”

“Are you mad?”

“Girl, smile!”

Yes, I cannot count how many times I get asked this on the daily. I am minding my own business, and the world still has to mind mine and just ruin my already good mood. I get it, you’re concerned about my face but the constant minding gets old. Everyone seems to like a girl who’s always in a good mood with a smile plastered on their face making this world a happy place! But this is me. I am sure you know some girls who have the RBF and even some guys too.

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

Here are the struggles of a girl with an RBF:

1. Guys don’t approach

We give off that vibe sending guys going to the opposite direction. I am sorry, my face is like that but I really want you to say hi to me. I could be shy too. Because I have an RBF, a guy may think I will shut him down or I am too full of myself that they’re already turned off just looking at my mug. Listen up, deep down that cold exterior, there’s a girl who has a lot of love to give. Give her a chance. You never know she could be the girl of your dreams, the mother of your future children!

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

2. I look intimidating

Trust me, I am a friendly person. My face just doesn’t cooperate. Say hi to me, I don't bite! We could be best friends at the end.

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

3. Why so serious?

I am a fun girl. I am not boring. My face looks like this but I can make you smile and give you some of the best times of your life.

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

4. Mean girl

Just because my face looks mean but I am no mean girl. In fact, I am goofy to my friends and I am loyal to my family.

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

5. Do not tell me to smile

Please don’t. It's rude! I will smile when I feel like it. When you see me smile, it’s genuine. That means you really made me happy and made my day.

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

6. Moody

I could be at my happiest; my face will look the same. Just don’t ruin it by asking me if I am mad? Then... I become moody lol.

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

7. Stoic

I could be thinking what to make for dinner tonight or where I left my lipstick at because it’s gone missing. Then someone goes what’s wrong with you?

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

8. Bitchy

One of the worst things people describe girls with an RBF. A smiling girl doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a ray of sunshine. She could be silently plotting your death for all we know.

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

9. Zoning out

Life gets crazy busy, it feels good to zone out the noise and bs and just escape to your happy place at least in your head… When I zone out, I travel to a place where no one judges my face. But again, people looking at me thinking is something wrong with her?

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

10. People talking behind my back

What else is new? I could be reading something online or writing an important email to the boss, people around me start wondering and asking each other why is she so quiet.

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

I know people around me are just being nice and have my best interest at heart but it gets annoying. This is how I am and my face will always look like this. I do smile when I am happy. If you truly know me, you’d understand that I am not perpetually moody. Before you judge me, maybe you should get to know me first. After all, don’t always judge a book by its cover. You never know what beautiful story lies ahead once you open past the hard plain cover.

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face

Cheers to the beautiful girls/guys with a resting bitch face and to those who don’t!

Thanks for the time reading.

XOs Pinay_Ako

Struggles of a girl with a resting bitch face
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Evil_Chuck

    I feel for you. Generally men aren't under as much pressure to fake happiness, but I have a naturally serious expression and I hear some of this too. My mother used to tell me to stop scowling all the time, but that's not it. I'm just too tired to hold my eyebrows up any higher.
    Worse, I have social anxiety too and I struggle to read others' expressions and body language. Every important conversation is an effort to understand the other person while forcing a "friendly" expression on my face so I don't send the wrong message. It becomes exhausting.

  • Aitch

    I’m the male version of this. I look frustrated, nervous, bored and angry when I don’t do any facial expression at all. People always be like, “bro are you okay?” ,”what’s up with you?” It’s just my face. I’m a happy and funny guy. You be nice to me, I be nice to you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Hamsteroids

    As a gal with RBF, I relate to allll of this lol after making friends with people, I’d get commonly told “I thought you were a bitch” “you seemed mean when I first met you” “you looked mad” lol its both a gift and a curse. It’s good for avoiding weirdos and salespeople but sucks when guys are too “afraid” to approach 😩

  • emmily2396

    People who ask girls to smile are idiots. I smile when I fucking feel like it. I won't smile to ease your insecurities. Fake smiles are creepy, why would people want that?

What Girls & Guys Said

  • DianaWest

    yeah, I think I have it too. people keep telling me to smile. one guy even told me to "stay strong. things will get better." and I was like? honestly. try not to stare at any one person for too long though. if you stare at one person for a long time, they'll think you're giving them attitude, and then they'll proceed to give attitude as well, and it will turn ugly. honestly, i'm just minding my own business. I glance at a woman for a split second walking past me at a table, and she sits near me and starts yelling about what a rude b***h I am. and of course, her behaviour made me lose it, so great. although I can usually differentiate between someone's RBF and their intentional bitch face. the intentional ones usually have arched eyebrows or contorted eyebrows, and the corners of their mouths are curled up into either an exaggerated sneer or curled down into a disgusted look. a person with RBF just has a blank, cold stare. whatever. but if they pair that stare with visibly arched eyebrows and a sneer, then we have some greater issues than RBF at hand.

  • yowsa

    Sorry, but life isn't fair. It might help to look at it this way; you could be ugly and have have RBF! But, you're quite pretty. So maybe that makes up for it. You can learn to lighten your countenance, while ugly people are stuck with their ugly mugs.

    • yowsa

      And, "struggles" might be better left to describe families living in a tin shack on a trash heap in a slum.

    • When I meant "struggles", struggle in a light hearted way not the end of the world kind of way like poverty but thank you for your comment

    • yowsa

      Oh OK, sorry. Sometimes the questions here seem like "first-world problems" 🤓 I'm in the same boat you are, I always look serious, so it turns off women. People at my dad's office were always telling him the same thing, and that he should smile. 😁

  • Based on your profile picture, I wouldn't have though you have RBF!

  • ariadneR

    your first sentence got me...

    I hate when im walkng down the street minding my own business, maybe thinking of what I am going to have for dnner or if i locked the door, and I hear "hey baby you why so serious? You should smile. I bet you have a nice smile" Fuck off. Its rude

  • jgokgotit

    Lmao I am prior military so my face looks much harder than I mean it to be. We are trained to be like that. I am literally one of the goofiest people around when you know me. I guess this also gives me more confidence to talk to a woman that has "resting bitch face" because it doesn't scare me.

  • You know that face you get after crying, that's what some of my co-workers said before but i'm pretty used to looking at it also like the face you get when you just woke up and they took me easy but they got used to it.

    • My co workers should be used to it already but man they still ask...

    • They will get bored of it if you don't react at all. You can joke around if you want to

    • I wish they get bored. Maybe they just like to be around me lol

  • cherryqueen01

    I have that + i'm extremely shy so I don't talk much so people absolutely do not approach me lol. Both having a resting bitch face and being shy are things that makes you come off as rude (as i've noticed many people takes you not talking to them as a personal insult that you think you're better than them so you don't care about getting to know them).

  • ShadowofRegret

    Personally, I prefer when she shows a range of different expressions based on her mood, I guess you could say I like when women show their humanity by showing different emotions like that, not to mention an attractive woman with a serious look in her eyes is quite appealing to me personally.

  • GraveDoll

    story of my life.

    I had a dude actual tell me he sees me around a lot and says i never see you smile. I said oh Not a smiler and dont like my smile. He like even if you do not like your smile others might.

    I was like:

    oh I didn't know I was the missing link to fixing the problem of the world.

  • spunkygiraffe

    I have a terrible habit of eye-rolling. I don't even do it on purpose, it just appears because of the way my eyes move I guess, I don't know. I don't even roll my eyes intentionally that often. With teachers and stuff, it's a nightmare. LOL

  • I relate. I have a resting bitch face 24/7. I look mad for people and yet I give my self time at the pet shelter. This is bad. But why smile like an idiot when you can have a relaxed face. That makes me look like a bitch

  • Flower7

    This was hilarious. I could relate to a lot of it. Your post made me smile a real smile.

  • Just-Confused

    .. I don't know sometimes I think I'd rather have that problem. I'm sure something's wrong with my eyebrows though because I can't do that face at all. I can't frown or I just look sad cause my eyebrows don't go down far enough no matter how hard I scowl, I just look like I'm trying not to cry. I'd rather have RBF. Sounds less annoying to me. But then the grass is always greener..

  • themomo84

    LOVE IT! I have RBF and people think I'm angry perpetually. I am half asleep and zoned out more than half the time. I am considerate of others and don't personalize anything at work or in casual settings. If you are my friend or boyfriend or girlfriend, you would know when I'm not myself. I start every convo with hey y'all I have RBF. It doesn't mean a thing. If they don't want to find out more, it's their decision. I am ok with it!

  • blkhermano

    This "RBF" is nothing new. How many guys have the same face and we don't get a simple 'hello'?

    People can't read each other's minds. The reason why that expression is perceived as unapproachable is likely do to previous experience.

    A guy can approach a woman who is smiling and such and still get shutdown, badly. It's logical to expect that a woman with that expression is considered "do not approach"

  • Jamie05rhs

    I have the male version. in my opinion, the best way to combat that is to intentionally make conversation with people. You exercise your facial muscles when you talk, and conversations always have the potential to bring up something funny and that could make you smile. :)

  • Lman3000

    Hmm I could relate, I never smile often in public, mostly cause I hate my teeth and how gums were formed, and having an average doesn't help, so I just look serious all of the time, even my friends say when say when they first met me thought I was an intimidating looking guy until they got to know me

  • FatherJack

    Yes have a male RBF ( Resting Bastard Face? ) I rarely , if ever smile , round my way , smiles are rare from anyone. People should NEVER " tell you to smile " ... esp a stranger !! None of their business , I mind my own busines , and expect others to do so too. The person may have just been bereaved or suffered other trauma !! One point..." 1. Guys don’t approach" ... I was under the impression women mostly do NOT want men appproaching them , therefore welcome the RBF male repellent effect

  • morrowlow

    i think in guys it's called RAF, short for resting asshole face and i suffer from it. even though i'm a guy one of my professors once asked me "Do you ever smile?" in a really condescending tone. he was just a dick. if i remember correctly i've been told that a few more times.

  • tonicandgin

    i have the opposite problem. i have a permanent smile, so there is no way to tell if it's real or fake so most people will assume im fake if im not interested in them

  • rubyrose83

    I don't mind any of those things but I hate being told to smile or being asked "what's wrong?" I thought my resting bitch face would keep people away not incite dumb remarks

  • rylielovessoftball

    I can relate as well since I have RBF as well. It's rough trying to convince people your not pissed when your thinking or something else.

  • WalterBlack

    My ex had RBF. I usually am very in tune with facial expressions and body language. RBF completely throws that off. I don't think I could ever date another person with RBF.

  • Dragonstarterplus

    No I'm not going to approach you if you look intimidating, mean, moody, and bitch. Oh you're shy? Guess what, guys can be shy too but nobody cares but nobody cares, they have to go outside their comfort zone anyway. If you want more than just the guys who don't care what kind of mood you appear in to approach you, then you need to appear approachable

    • If I want a guy to approach me, I will send signals to him that I like him. But what if he sees me doing my thing and I didn't notice him but he thinks I'm interesting, of course I'd be off guard and my natural RBF is what he's going to see. But you can't judge someone because of their face! lol Maybe they're just busy? or focused on something or just read a scary email? Wow. So a person's face will just send you away because of their cold expression? Won't you at least get to know them first before judging them?

    • "But you can't judge someone because of their face! lol Maybe they're just busy? or focused on something or just read a scary email? Wow. So a person's face will just send you away because of their cold expression?"

      A woman's face is literally the first thing a man notices about her. If all he sees is resting bitch face and he actually cares what kind of mood you appear to be in, then he will most likely assume you're not in an approachable state

    • Yes true. But! How will you know she's actually a nice person if you just stop at first sight?

    • Show All
  • YHL6965

    Fun fact : I'm not a girl, but I also have a resting bitch face, so I can relate to the struggles, especially since I'm shy too. On the bright side, seeing a girl with a RBF smile is worth all the gold in the world, it's so genuine and expressive.

    Despite me knowing RBF is a thing, I tend to be intimidated nonetheless. To be fair, I'm intimidated by other girls in as well.

  • arcanemontane

    I feel ya. I am constantly being asked if I'm in a bad mood and it's really fucking annoying, most of the time it's usually because I'm nervous or daydreaming

  • MrBurke

    I'm a dude and I have resting bitch face partly because of me not being able to keep a smile unless it's sincere but mostly it's just because my face at rest makes me look like I'm going to murder something

  • ColoradoKid

    Ya I know of some people like that in both genders. I know one real personally. Every time I see him it pisses me of to no end.. That's why I don't shave that much.

  • art84

    I can relate, I don't like to smile and my face just looks like I am upset or mad. It's just weird but i don't want to go around smiling like an idiot, it would make people look at me funny. Like why is that dude smiling so much.

  • SueShe

    This is me a 100% and I like the fact that I have a name to put on my face.

    I am actually proud to be in the listed under #1. "Guys don't approach".

    I have learned to use that kind of face whenever I am in public and I feel observed and under attack from guys.

    I just did not know that there was a name to it.

    I don't like to smile in public and in a crowd because I experienced that people misinterpret a smile and take it as an invitation to chat or flirt.

    Actually, I have gotten good at it and when I am not in the mood, it is a combination of #1 and #4.
    There is nothing worse than when you are doing something and people just want to chat about everything and nothing. It gets difficult to concentrate on what I am doing.

    I don't know if other girls are experiencing the same disagreement when having a neutral or smiling face.

    Fact is that when someone asks why I am so serious, I can proudly tell them that I have my RBF.

    Thanks for this great myTake

    • belarus

      They actually attack you?

    • SueShe

      @belarus No, not physically attack but more being hit on by them

  • skipthemb

    As a man I've always found women with the resting bitch face attractive and interesting, though a bit intimidating.

  • You don't have bitch face though. Those guys probably really were just concerned about you.

    • I get this comment at least once a day lol. But it's all good if they truly care.

  • Ellie-V

    I stopped caring about my rbf long ago. If I don’t feel like smiling, it is what it is. If someone feels uncomfortable—it’s literally not my problem.

  • i've had one. i could make her laugh, but she was emotionless most of the time. it was annoying. she also had a whiny voice that didn't help.

  • StickStickity13

    "Guys don't approach"- well, either women will bitch that we approach or don't. less will complain if we don't so most guys won't approach a woman like that!

  • All I'll tell anyone who's got an opinion about someone with an RBF is "Don't judge a book by its cover."

  • roxy_362

    You said pretty much everything out there that could support your case, and the unfortunate truth is quite evident. But, perhaps you also realize what you describe is a particular case of the more generic attitude of the society imposing its expectations upon you. Every single day, both men & women are being reminded about what they should be and how they should behave in myriad ways. It is unfair, no doubt, but the unwritten rules of conforming to the crowd and sacrificing from your true identity, self-respect and well-being is almost constantly demanded by the greater (!) well-being of your tribe.

    I hope your well-written article serves to remind us all the boundaries and worth of an individual vis-à-vis all the various larger groups of which she/he is a constituent.

  • AdithyaR

    Well you can't expect guys to approach you. Ya maybe there's a loving girl inside but the guy doesn't know that. All we see is a girl who seems to be angry. So a guy isn't gonna take the risk.
    Better start approaching guys yourself.

  • AllThatSweetJazz

    "Guys don’t approach"
    But girls don't approach just in general, so is RBF really the issue?

  • Smegskull

    Oh the hardship for you. Try being a guy where the assumption to resting bitch face is that you are a creep/violent/rapist.

    • it could be guys too having that angry look on their face...

    • Smegskull

      The consequences are more severe for guys.

    • janna_jcb

      That’s not true, most of the time guys are considered sexy when they’re serious all the time

    • Show All
  • runningbare00

    I suffer from the same thing. My tendency to resort to sarcasm doesn't help me

  • CuriousGirlx95

    This is me all the way I have the same problem girl don’t worry your not alone. People always think I have an attitude

  • zagor

    I knew a girl in college like that. People would always joke that she was a bitch, but generally she was pretty nice. It didn't help that she also had kind of a deep, gruff voice.

  • The look on your face would never keep me away from you. I would try my best to put a smile on your face

    • yowsa

      This isn't a dating site. Oh wait, yes it is... 😆

  • Lliam

    Very fun take, Pinay_ako. Don't worry about it. You sound just fine.

  • MarkRet

    The cure for Resting Bitch Face ->

  • villageidiot

    Relax! Guys will still hit on you. Especially the jerks which American women love. They won't care about your facial expression.

  • Emmalouise03

    i dont have a resting bitch face i think... 🤔 i think i just look scared all the time😂

  • I really get turned on by resting bitch face! It's really something that I like! I find it really attractive I'm serious

  • ObscuredBeyond

    Yeah, I get told that I "smile" about as well as Christian Bale staring off into the distance.