I don't understand why you are so determined to try to convince people men and women are really similar, despite the abundance of evidence that our brains are wired completely differently.
I was writing this article from a male point of view. I never tried to imply you can say these kind of things to a woman. But because I'm a man, I can't put myself in the female perspective. So even though I know things you shouldn't say to a woman, I can't provide a proper explanation as to how she would...
@Toulouse : Because despite you can't generalize things and can't say thins that are true for every person, if you put the average man and the average woman next to each other, there are clear differences that apply to the majority of men and the majority of women.
It's those differences that lead to confrontations.
The only way for the two sexes to come closer together is by acknowledging those differences, making them clear to the other gender and learning how to deal with them.
Most of this is common sense,although the what's bothering you thing is harder to avoid than it sounds.I've heard "I don't want to talk about it" before.While I accepted it & tried to let him deal in his own time,it was difficult since I still had to deal with the obvious signs he was upset and his resulting bad mood.Also,I've never seen avoidance as a logical way of dealing with something so I honestly just don't get it But I do try because I want him to understand when I say I NEED chocolate..
The funny thing about this article is that you pretty much shouldn't do these to anyone.
Why would you call anyone an idiot in an upset tone? That never helps anything. Saying it in front of friends is the least of the problem, the fact you say this in general is more crucial.
So as toulouse says, there's no point in dividing it into a "girl/guy" thing. This is more of a general guideline for normal behavior, which can be applied to pretty much anyone.
on #10 I've only said this once but the person to whom he was regarding constantly had been inconsiderate towards my feelings even sexual towards me when I wanted nothing to do with him..so yes a woman should be able to say how she feels on this subject line
It's common sense to me at least. The only thing is that I think number one should be much lower on the list if it's in order of importance and number 2 should be number one. There are worse things on here that women say but I don't think they are said nearly as often as number 2.
"I don't want to talk about it" is a reasonable answer. I do pressure my boyfriend when he says "is nothing", at least until he admits there is something! We girls often act weird because of really nothing. But its something rarer among you guys than it's with us; so if he says it is nothing, I want to know what type of "nothing" he's talking about. And I'm only annoying until he says "don't wanna talk about it"...
Not practical? How is anything I said not practical? Because it's not the way *you* would handle things?
The last one makes perfect sense. Men and women deal with their issues in their own way. If the issue is not with you, he shouldn't feel forced to talk about it.
Go ahead and try to push a guy to talk about something he doesn't want, and see how well it works out for you.
LOL on #7. We had plans to have my friends bachelor party at a strip club but his fiance heard about it and shot it down. Wound up with a boring dinner party.
Oh and her dad had been planning to go too, so its not like we would have had a stripper going down on the groom.
Without a doubt No#2 is No.1 on any list. Eventually you start avoiding such girls who have a habit of doing this. Now I would never get in a relationshiop with anyone who does this and doesn't inderstand.
#7, well I tried to convince my first fiance but he wasn't having it. he didn't want a stripper and I told him to get one. I mean, a male stripper at my bachelorate party, a female stripper at his bachelor party. oh well.
If he's not answering clearly when you ask 11, you can say something in the likes of "I know something is bothering you. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but if you do, I'm here for you."
I don't agree with #1 and #5 but maybe I am lucky with my boyfriend. I agree with the rest. And, most definitely understand #11 ..not the stripper part..but how we need not to boss them around. Explain our feelings and reason with them.
Unfortunately this list doens't apply to reality. I know too many couples who don't operate by these rules, or any "girls do this" and " boys don't do that" rules and they're still together.
really glad to hear the last one! I thought they would appreciate that we noticed something was wrong and if there was anything I could do to help. hmmm
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
36Opinion
@Brando : I think the majority of these examples aren't things many women would say.
However, #5, questions where women don't want to hear an honest answer to because it will upset them yet they ask it anyway, still happens frequently.
#2, expecting a guy to magically read her mind without clear communication, and then calling men selfish is something almost all women are guilty off.
And a lot of married women think it's their right to boss around their husband, like #7
I don't understand why you are so determined to try to convince people men and women are really similar, despite the abundance of evidence that our brains are wired completely differently.
I was writing this article from a male point of view. I never tried to imply you can say these kind of things to a woman. But because I'm a man, I can't put myself in the female perspective. So even though I know things you shouldn't say to a woman, I can't provide a proper explanation as to how she would...
@Toulouse : Because despite you can't generalize things and can't say thins that are true for every person, if you put the average man and the average woman next to each other, there are clear differences that apply to the majority of men and the majority of women.
It's those differences that lead to confrontations.
The only way for the two sexes to come closer together is by acknowledging those differences, making them clear to the other gender and learning how to deal with them.
#6 and #8 are really true.
#6 is just scary to hear and without giving a brief explanation to soothe the nerves, it can drive anyone crazy thinking about what it could be.
#8, guys like to try things, tinker with things, learn it on our own. So for someone to try and cut us off before any of that is annoying.
However, the rest of these things girls actually say? Good grief, there must be some sh*t girls out there these days...
Most of this is common sense,although the what's bothering you thing is harder to avoid than it sounds.I've heard "I don't want to talk about it" before.While I accepted it & tried to let him deal in his own time,it was difficult since I still had to deal with the obvious signs he was upset and his resulting bad mood.Also,I've never seen avoidance as a logical way of dealing with something so I honestly just don't get it But I do try because I want him to understand when I say I NEED chocolate..
The funny thing about this article is that you pretty much shouldn't do these to anyone.
Why would you call anyone an idiot in an upset tone? That never helps anything. Saying it in front of friends is the least of the problem, the fact you say this in general is more crucial.
So as toulouse says, there's no point in dividing it into a "girl/guy" thing. This is more of a general guideline for normal behavior, which can be applied to pretty much anyone.
on #10 I've only said this once but the person to whom he was regarding constantly had been inconsiderate towards my feelings even sexual towards me when I wanted nothing to do with him..so yes a woman should be able to say how she feels on this subject line
@Sunshine : Yes I know. But when a guy says he doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't mean "please keep asking me until I give the answer."
He means he doesn't want to talk about it and putting the question on repeat will only frustrate him.
@Redsmartie : It is tradition for guys though. It's the last time he's "allowed" to look at another woman so yeah.
It's common sense to me at least. The only thing is that I think number one should be much lower on the list if it's in order of importance and number 2 should be number one. There are worse things on here that women say but I don't think they are said nearly as often as number 2.
I liked this article, very well done, sir!
But I have to comment about #11:
"I don't want to talk about it" is a reasonable answer. I do pressure my boyfriend when he says "is nothing", at least until he admits there is something! We girls often act weird because of really nothing. But its something rarer among you guys than it's with us; so if he says it is nothing, I want to know what type of "nothing" he's talking about. And I'm only annoying until he says "don't wanna talk about it"...
There's nothing impractical about keeping things for yourself that you were supposed to.
Expecting him to magically read your mind, THAT is incredibly impractical.
There's nothing impractical about not hurting his feelings or stressing him out with counter-productive questions.
And there's nothing impractical about not trying to command him what to do or not do.
Not practical? How is anything I said not practical? Because it's not the way *you* would handle things?
The last one makes perfect sense. Men and women deal with their issues in their own way. If the issue is not with you, he shouldn't feel forced to talk about it.
Go ahead and try to push a guy to talk about something he doesn't want, and see how well it works out for you.
LOL on #7. We had plans to have my friends bachelor party at a strip club but his fiance heard about it and shot it down. Wound up with a boring dinner party.
Oh and her dad had been planning to go too, so its not like we would have had a stripper going down on the groom.
By and large spot on.
Without a doubt No#2 is No.1 on any list. Eventually you start avoiding such girls who have a habit of doing this. Now I would never get in a relationshiop with anyone who does this and doesn't inderstand.
#7, well I tried to convince my first fiance but he wasn't having it. he didn't want a stripper and I told him to get one. I mean, a male stripper at my bachelorate party, a female stripper at his bachelor party. oh well.
If he's not answering clearly when you ask 11, you can say something in the likes of "I know something is bothering you. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but if you do, I'm here for you."
That's pretty much all you can do.
I don't agree with #1 and #5 but maybe I am lucky with my boyfriend. I agree with the rest. And, most definitely understand #11 ..not the stripper part..but how we need not to boss them around. Explain our feelings and reason with them.
Unfortunately this list doens't apply to reality. I know too many couples who don't operate by these rules, or any "girls do this" and " boys don't do that" rules and they're still together.
really glad to hear the last one! I thought they would appreciate that we noticed something was wrong and if there was anything I could do to help. hmmm
The lasr thing ..it's consider me ..how I can know what's the real reason of being bother?
I gave my boyfriend chearing and get him high with my trust &nice words and indirect way to not make him feel pethatic .it really works
But yesterday never of those work ..i respected him when he Told me to no talking about it...never mind ..
Help me plz