5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner

[LittleSally]

Even though it's a lot about the tone and the way you say it...words can hurt no matter what. We can all work towards being zen, but until then...think about this > think before you speak.

1. This is why my family doesn't like you!

[This is just a low blow. Let's face it. Nobody wants to hear this. When their family doesn't like you it's never a good thing. It will rarely help you get closer...it will most probably pull you apart. Now - some partners say this just to hurt one another - that's just juvenile. Keep it mature or don't have it at all.]

2. You're crazy!

[It's clear that this is mostly said in anger and not really meant. But still - many people are really triggered by this - especially if they've had mentally ill people in their families. Make sure you know your partner's family history before going down this particular road.]

3. Stop being so sensitive!

[Judging people on how sensitive they are or what they find offensive is not only in very poor taste, but also insulting. It can also show how little your partner actually knows you if they use a sentence like this...]

4. Whatever...

[This is dismissive and just extremely immature and disrespectful. If they don't want to listen to you...then you can't have a real conversation with them. Where are you supposed to go from there?]

5. I'm not trying to offend you, but...

[Whoever starts a sentence this way...says the truth in the first part of it. Yes, they are trying to offend you.]

[Derpyy]

None of these bother me and I've seen each and every one of these in a relationship. "You are entitled to your opinion even if I disagree with you" is usually my response.

Also, the last one is something I actually use often. It's my way of saying, "Hey prepare yourself by growing a tad bit less sensitive for 5 minutes, because you really need to hear this." I'm majoring in Psychology, and in Psychology (and the real world) not everything is supposed to be sugar-coated for you. Everyone is always going to have SOMETHING that offends them. What, are we supposed to tip toe around everyone we talk to now? If one cannot handle the people's opinions, then I do not know how they can manage far in life, honestly.

One of my favourite quotes go, "Many times the most enlightening truths are the hardest to hear."

[redeyemindtricks]

Yeah. Well said.

That's why I usually say "Don't take this the wrong way, but..."
... because sometimes someone might *need* to be offended by something for it to really register.
"Taking it the wrong way" would be more like just throwing a shit fit and not attempting to learn anything.

[Derpyy]

@redeyemindtricks Oh hi again, RedEye. How've you been? I'm glad we see eye to eye. One of the things my buddies say they love the most about me is that I always tell the truth, even the hard ones. I just make sure that I prepare them ahead of time to not leave bruises. C: They usually know, though, they've goofed when my tone changes and my voice gets a little deep.

[redeyemindtricks]

Oh yeah... when I start talking even *more* slowly, and *more* articulately... everyone else around me is in big trouble.

[Derpyy]

@redeyemindtricks Omfg I know the type! That's my mum for sure. I literally start pulling on my hair before shouting, "What! What did I do NOW?" 😭

[BubbleBoy69]

I see no problem with 2-5. Sometimes you got to check your girl and tell her she is acting erratic or something you don't like about her rather than just taking her behavior.

[xButterflyKisses87x]

you could find a nicer way of saying it though...

[BaileyisDarcy]

You know you could be decent about it.

[Chloe-Brownie13]

You could at least say it in a nicer way though.

[annie2016]

I think I don't see them as something you should not say to your partner as long as you know how to say it and its part of being honest and transparent to each other.
Sometimes we tend to over react or think and that is the time we need to be rebuke or reminded of our behavior. Guys don't have to always accept our behavior but we must accept it as a time for us to grow and improve and let go of our being too emotional and dramatic.

[John_Lion_84]

Just out of no where everybody becomes an expert in everything. None of this will ever exisit when you communicate with your partner, you should make takes on how to communicate, not what to do and not to do.
No one in here wrote '' I communicate with my partner so we can solve our problems '' .

[Jjpayne]

good points. The fine art of a good relationship take time, patience, practice and a whole lot of screwing up. But the more you mess up the more you learn

[dragonfly6516]

I don't agree with #5. So that truth hurts, that doesn't mean that it doesn't need to be said. Sometimes people do need to hear things that they don't want to accept.

[FallOutBoy2001]

2nd one is the most true in my relationship. Both of us have ADHD, and I've grown up in a house where "you're crazy" is a gaslighting technique my mother uses, so I react very badly.

[Jamesol1]

Saying they are crazy when they are is fine (women do tend to be more 'crazy then men')... its like men can be agressive... the other end of that is women can be crazy... the rest... yh i can agree.

[BaileyisDarcy]

No its not because it doesn't say the actual problem. Calling them crazy won't fix it. Telling them theyre being hyperactive or whatever theyre actually doing isokay because then they know what they need to stop doing. Just calling them crazy does nothing.

[Jamesol1]

@BaileyisDarcy Telling men to 'man up' is also stupid then. But most people seem to think that's fine. IF being called 'crazy' triggers them sure it likley won't... but what ever word you use if that person is mature and its not said in a very condescending way... there is nothing wrong.

[BaileyisDarcy]

Telling people to man up is the equivalent to get over it. Calling people crazy has no equivalence. All it says is i dont like something about your behaviour, but in a condescending way that gives no room for improvement.

Man up is also bad but is irrelevant to this conversation.

[Jamesol1]

@BaileyisDarcy Man up is belittling and sexist to men. I think its worse than being called crazy. .. whterh you think its relevant or not. Crazy is the same thing as what you said = All it says is i dont like something about your behaviour.

[BaileyisDarcy]

You just agreed with my point about calling a person crazy unhelpful. Good job.

[Jamesol1]

@BaileyisDarcy Did you seriously miss the point I was making... god i hate people that can't have a debate without resorting to weak jabs because they can't think of relevant arguments to back up their weak opinions.

[Jamesol1]

@BaileyisDarcy Telling someone they are ''hyperactive''... isn't helpful. It's the same with calling someone crazy... it depends what you say after that. Women these days should wear t-shirts saying dont call me crazy ''triggered''.

[Rissyanne]

I do believe my ex husband has said everyone of those you listed.

[BrileyCat]

no. 1 is a weapon that can truly hurt . i can live with the rest . so can most people

[EmilyHi]

I personally don't care if someone calls me crazy because I know I can be crazy

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

I feel like there are a shit load worse things to say... like, "you're fat". That will get a dude a nice blow to the face 😳👊💪💥

[likitb4istickit]

Meh I may be old but if she's that fat she can't catch me anyway. Fat has a lot of inertia.

[BeautifulPromisesx]

Lmao I've been told this and I didn't say anything rude to him¿

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

@BeautifulPromisesx you don't even look remotely fat

[likitb4istickit]

That's probably not her real pic.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

@likitb4istickit she's used like 10 pics of the same person... Chances are it's her

[BeautifulPromisesx]

LOL people here kill me.
Did you decide if you're going to the reunion?

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

@BeautifulPromisesx I'm not. I'm at my grandmas house and I'm just gonna get depressed... Also, it's at a bar in a town I hate going to and there's a $60 charge for open bar... I don't even really drink 😑

[BeautifulPromisesx]

Oh true. Ditch and come here we can eat ice cream and drive around making silly faces at other people in cars near us.

[Lonewolf881]

Gotta tell my boyfriend he's sensitive then obviously there's something wrong

[supernerd99]

oversensitive bs. humility forgives all, and overlooks all... .

but thats not an excuse for partners to go full jackass on a meek partner.. .

[admles]

In my personal experience, "Whatever" is predominantly used by women, usually when they have no good comeback.

[clampfan101]

Aside from perhaps 4,(and only if I was really frustrated), I would never say any of those things.

[BenignCzar]

One thing for a man to NEVER say: Will you marry me?

[dudeman]

2-5 is fine. The first one is juat hurtful.

[Unit1]

5 is not true at all.

[CancerianMan81]

I don't care if the truth hurts anymore I don't

[CancerianMan81]

if a woman can't handle me at my worst then she can't handle me at my best

[kickme]

I dont get paper thin skinned people

[pizzawithchicken]

I agree with all these posts.