Women Must Work On Themselves

ManOnFire
Women Must Work On Themselves

There are some great women I meet here on GaG from time to time, who are actually intelligent and realistic, who have sex drives and sexual minds that match my own, and I can tell that they’re also serious about a real relationship and have learned things from their past relationships and they really do have a good heart. It’s sad that distance keeps me and them apart, but it’s so nice to meet women like this even if it is online, because unfortunately I don’t have the pleasure of meeting these kinds very often in my real life, especially here in the Greater Washington D.C. area where many flighty, arrogant, hook-up-type, and both college-educated and uneducated broads reside. Black, white, Asian, and Latina, it doesn't matter. Most of these women are not the ones for me and are not improving themselves for the better even if they think they are.

Women Must Work On Themselves

But my problem is not new and not just restricted to my life. Many women of today period are overly focused on men needing to be everything they want and almost never on how a woman should be cultivated for a decent man.

Arrogance...

Our society puts excessive focus on how a man should be for a woman and how he should treat her, when a hard truth is that a lot of women are not that deserving of kingly men and need to do a lot of learning about how to treat a man. This imbalance and ignorance is largely due to the fact that our culture excessively teaches women that they don’t need to cultivate themselves for a man or a relationship, constantly programs them with narcissistic defensive thinking that she is always a “queen,” always “deserves better,” is rarely the reason for why a relationship fails, and that if she is experiencing any bad luck or unfortunate situations with men - or even friends, co-workers, or other associations - it’s because they’re the problem and she never is.

Women Must Work On Themselves

Facebook, Instagram, and quotes you find on Google are even overflowing with all this self-serving vomit that women eat up daily. We have flooded women’s minds with dangerous lies and influence to make them believe that men or anyone else are the ones who are “toxic,” don’t “deserve her,” and should be given silence or total cut-off. We as a society are scared to ever tell women the truth that they indeed can be - and often are - the ones who need to work on themselves, the ones who need to see how they messed up in a relationship or messed up with a man, are the ones being immature, disrespectful, defiant, and having no regard for the other person.

When was the last time you ever heard a woman honestly say her relationship or marriage failed because of her mistakes or boldly admitting it was because she cheated?

Sexual lifestyles can cloud a woman's vision...

I’m not sure if I’d say most, but a lot of women of today are not actually relationship material, even if they think they are. And this is because many of these women are asking for “good men” or men who are serious about love, yet they’re still having casual sex with their male acquaintances, random associations, etc. and actually cannot really shake that life. These are the same women who want a man that will love them like a gentleman and care all about them, but then don’t want the very gentlemen they scorn because they are not attracted to them sexually.

Women actually have much more of a Madonna/whore complex than men, where some men are romantically attractive to them for a relationship but they can't really see themselves sleeping with them, and other men are sexually attractive to them but they can't see themselves seriously caring about or marrying the guy. Which all of this is highly due to women's sexual lifestyles. As I’ve talked about on GaG a few times, and whether most people really get it or believe it or not, sex alters women in ways that are not the same for men.

Women Must Work On Themselves

And contrary to how they might want you to see it, the truth is that many women don’t actually have a real relationship or real boyfriend. A lot of women are with men that they’re just having sex with. Not as a serious affectionate connection. Some women hope that it turns into a real relationship, or want people to think that’s what she has with the guy, but it usually isn’t and doesn’t end up as an actual loving, mature, committed relationship.

I get it that there's the occasional person you hook up with. I get it that sometimes there's that one person you're desperately horny about. Trust me. It happens to me too. But when you're living that life on the regular, you honestly can't expect to ever have a real relationship or expect to meet a man who gives a real damn about you.

Women have to take a look at themselves...

Are there men out there who are like women in these ways? Certainly. But the difference is that the majority of men are honest about their dirt, sexual choices, and sexual lifestyles - even the guys who are married will tell a woman he's trying to fuck that he's got a wife but "we're not really that happy." For most men, they either want a free lifestyle of being a single man who has casual sex with women they know or meet, or they want an actual girlfriend with all the romance. Few men are complaining about not being able to find good women while still hooking up with their acquaintances or women they have some kind of interaction with. They're either going to do one thing or the other.

Women Must Work On Themselves

So from a man’s perspective, women need improvement where they believe they don’t. How can you want or have a healthy relationship full of respect, love, or satisfaction when you only want all that for yourself? How can you ever work things out with men if you believe they’re the problem and you aren’t? How can you want men who you ultimately see are decent, relationship material yet you can’t let go of your lifestyle of desiring men who you feel are more sexually attractive, masculine, or perfect for pleasing you in bed?


I leave the answers for you to work out.

#WomenNeedWorkToo

Women Must Work On Themselves
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Peace30
    I agree completely. I have seen girls get treated like a princess, and all the ones who's relationship has ended badly because they were a brat. Girls at work are always trying to get men. They just want to be treated like their princess and they're better than everyone else. Well you know what they are a spoiled little brat. What about the girls who work hard and don't need to be treated like a princess to know that they're loved and wanted. Some girls are smart and what you speak their mind, work hard for everything they got and don't need a man in life. Sometimes they do feel lonely and feel like they need to be wanted. In this world people can be so many things. So many people want to be different things it's hard to choose who you are in this life. I have one question for you if you are a woman right now, would you rather be smart, intelligent, speaker mind, and get good money good job but have no man. Would you rather be maybe a little poor, a brat, mean to people, and get to have a man who wants to get rid of you. Or you cheating on your man because you don't love him anymore. So ask yourself who do you want to be. Nice hard-working and maybe get a good man. Or going to be a brat that no one wants to be around and makes you think that you're a princess because people are scared of you. Just let me ask yourself who do you want to be. Let me tell you something I am smart, intelligent, and speaking my mind. For as long as I've been living I have gotten an amazing job, well a hush-hush job, but right now as I'm working I'm still not married. So ask yourself who do you want to be. If it was me will always choose kindness and do the next right thing. I hope you do the same. When some of us have been doing the best that we can.
    Is this still revelant?
    • ManOnFire

      Woooaaahhh, this is an automatic MHO right here! The kind of girls you mention, the princesses, are ON MY JOB right now, and I can't stand them. I wish I could say everything you said right to their face.

    • ariadneR

      I have a girl like this at my job, and she absolutely repulses me. She is married with a daughter, currently cheating on her husband/baby daddy with 2 confirmed men at work. Both of whom are married. she's got 2 managers fired for "sexual harassment" because they didn't fall for her womanly wiles.
      she's the most popular woman at work (there are only 6). The majority of the men love her. There are a few that are disgusted by her. One of the things that annoys me though, is that she complains that no man loves her, and treats her like the queen she is

    • Peace30

      Well, if you don't like how their treating people then tell them. People aren't being nice need to be confronted. It won't hurt them your just telling the truth. So, tell them. Don't be bystander look up for your self.

    • Show All
  • ariadneR
    Bravo bravo good sir.
    I think you and I have always seen eye to eye. It's one of the things that I like about you, you're intelligent and when you say something you have the facts and the insight to back it up.
    You are absolutely right, women can't expect a "king" if they're not "queen" material themselves. You can't expect a man to provide for you, and look after you if you're not willing to do the same. A relationship isn't about what can you do for me, but rather what we can do for each other and help each other accomplish and create things together. For me relationships are about working together as a team, not as an individual. If that's the case then your relationship is doomed to fail.
    I've learned that the best thing in life is just be honest. Tell it like it is. Whether the person likes it or not is not your problem, its theirs.
    Once again sir I loved this. I commend you. 👏👏🙏🙏
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • MzAsh
    I agree that women need to put in work too. Some men on here like to get mad at me because I talk about how I think women should vet men tightly, but what they might not realize or gloss over is the fact that I’ve worked hard to develop myself and do my part in managing a well kept relationship too. I’m always educating myself to learn new things. I’ve juggle multiple jobs just to ensure I’m bringing food on the table in the best way I can that also brings me joy. I work out for 1-2 hours at least 4 days a week. I’ll cook most days even though I gene dislike to cook. I clean for an hour a day. I always make sure I do my part in keeping a healthy sex life. I’ve nursed my man back to health for 6 months while he was bedridden and wheelchair bound after an accident. I was there for him when his mom died and through his anxiety and depression after that.

    I can admit there are many ways in which I haven’t been perfect and I always try to improve on those things. I used to have zero standards or boundaries. I used to be insecure and clingy and way too accommodating to the point where I suffocated my old boyfriends and lost their respect because I used to define my worth only in relation to being someone’s girlfriend. Now, I’m a relationship consultant and I got into it at first to help myself because I wanted to understand how to be a better person and better girlfriend. I’ve gotten into studying psychology to understand how to better relate with an ex who had a mood disorder, which sent me down a rabbit hole of understanding how to deal with difficult people of all kinds.

    I think women should absolutely work on their education, their confidence, their independence, and their boundaries. They should understand the difference between being a girlfriend and a partner. How to support and truly love a man. The difference between a fling and the real deal and how to have a real connection with a man.
    • ManOnFire

      Very well said.

    • In what world is this very well said? Sounds like a whole bag of issues.

    • MzAsh

      How so?

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  • PrimalInstinct
    Very accurate. Men are indeed more honest. What have they to gain by being dishonest with a woman? Nothing. What have they to gain by being dishonest to their friends or colleagues where they may require each other's trust? Nothing. When the truth comes to light they're on the curb or can fend for themselves.

    It's sort of why most male dominant jobs have an almost goofy sense of comradery - ridiculous nicknames, comments, etc. that aren't to be taken seriously - that you'd VERY RARELY find in female-dominant fields. And why women in general just **are not** fit for such positions because the average one gets her knickers in a wad over something that isn't directed at her, isn't meant to offend, but her delicate sensibilities makes her a god awful pain in the arse/stick in the mud/can't-be-trusted utter bitch. I say that as someone who has worked in male dominant fields - e. g. military - and whose docile go-with-the-flow/take-everything-in-stride attitude made me far more liked by my male peers as a team member than my bitchy cry-me-a-river female counterparts.

    But it's why I prefer to have male friends, those who I've no romantic interest in as we've known each other since we were tots, because I can trust them to be at least try to be honest.
    Other females, I take with a grain or chunk of salt & prefer to avoid them whenever/wherever possible as I can't stand their dishonest two-faced behaviors - such as my mostly female colleagues & head boss (none of whom I'd trust to mow my lawn or even walk my dogs they are just that wishy-washy/untrustworthy/two-faced/fickle despite the constantly annoying/pathetic pretending we're comrades).
  • DeeDeeDeVour
    I suspect some women or girls might disagree (if not get offended) by any/all points you made here. Meanwhile, I won't object to any single one of them because I believe you're absolutely correct. Unless it's very clear, I detest it when we point fingers without looking at ourselves.
    • kim45456

      Man fuck off. I have enough of hypocritical male hoes wanting innocent girls. Why nobody says anything about mans sexual life

    • @kim45456: Ahhh... spoken like a broken, disgruntled & failed feminist. Chill li'l girl.

    • ManOnFire

      @DeeDeeDeVour 👍👍👍

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  • nella965
    I think that this article is extremely biased because I think both genders need to work on themselves. Men are not better than women. If there are bad women, then there are bad men. You really cannot generalize all men or women. I have seen married men that were total dick heads while single men who were the nicest dudes. Its not character that gets someone to fall for you, its personality.
    • ManOnFire

      You would not be saying this if it was an article talking about men in the same way.

    • nella965

      You know that there are things wrong with men too. So don't be arrogant

    • ManOnFire

      I never said there weren't. But you prove exactly what this Take talks about. You persist in not having to see where women need to make their own improvements unless men do. Anyone could've talked about men in their own Take. But they didn't, and I didn't. Because I had something to say about women instead.

      Let go of the Ego.

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  • el_Te_de_la_Rosa
    I think we all have to ask ourselves like when we are in a job interview.

    "Why should someone wants me?"
    "What am I actually looking for in a relationship?"

    If it was me, and I can't have detailed answers, that means I'm not good enough and need more work to improve myself.
    • ManOnFire

      Good way to look at it?

    • It might not make us feel good about ourselves to think that "I'm not good enough." But let's compare to this: "I think I am a very good person, but why I always get rejected." This attitude's more hurtful, isn't it?

      That means we are blinded to notice our own shortcomings, and will blame others for not loving us. When in the reality, it could be ourselves who are not perfect and still have to put more effort to be better.

      Anyways, for the main issue that you mentioned in this MyTake, being promiscuous is not good for women. I totally agree. As well as for men. I think we should be merciful to people who can't control themselves though they know the long term consequences of the action, with more understanding, and less judgement. Treat them like they are kids, educate them, not take advantages of them.

      If you are a man, offered free sex by a girl, don't take it. Because the more you encounter with this kind of women, the more chances you will meet them. Finally, your world would be full of only one type of women. You'd feel like all women are the same and hopeless to find one who can be your life partner.

      If you are a woman, read a lot. There are articles and books about psychology, biology. Learn about how hormones influence us, and men. What is love? What is lust? It's our responsibility to be able to distinguish them. Take time to internalize if you want to be respected, learn how to be respectful. Build it within self first before chasing "love" from a random man because many men can have sex without love. And if it's a revange for you, please try to understand that our bodies are not created to be used that way. It doesn't worth your energy and feelings.

      💚

    • ManOnFire

      @el_Te_de_la_Rosa "If you are a man, offered free sex by a girl, don't take it. Because the more you encounter with this kind of women, the more chances you will meet them."
      - Funny you should mention this because I notice the same thing. How does this happen anyway? I have male coworkers and have met many men online who tell me their stories of getting sex super easy from random women, and I always wonder, how is that?

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  • MrNameless
    This is so fucking true. There's no doubt that everyone need to work on themselves (as you know), but our culture is really weird on making women feeling entitled and not owning up to their mistakes and blaming men for all their problems instead. It's really toxic A lot of this can be pop culture's fault. I see movies everywhere where the guy is to blame 90% of the time (although most movies are in men's perspective's) while women are the "straight man"
    • MrNameless

      and voice of reason, while the men are idiots. You see it all the time in cartoons, sitcoms and romcoms. Fathers especially look like bufoons. Its a really tired trope

    • ManOnFire

      Very well said, yes.

    • Yes, and we as a society are beginning to see the damage of "men are idiots" routine, which has been so prevalent for decades. The war on boys is real.

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  • standingUP
    Here is the real reason. Women love the intellectual man. The sexiest part of the man is his brain. Every other desired quality after that are merely bonuses. This only includes using the brain to focus on her needs , dreams, interests, and ability to support her emotional health.
    It’s not hard to be interested in who she is if you are sincere and desire the same. Just need the opportunity to convey that to her. Online gives that opportunity for her to fall in love before even meeting them in person.

    Out in the world it is tougher to present that on first take or in passing. Word of mouth is the most common set up.

    Whatever a person desires on their list of physical attributes doesn’t really matter if you already realer in her heart.

    If he doesn’t use his brain then it makes it so much easier for one that does.
    ( I should take this moment to thank all the idiots out their for making it easy for me to swoop in.)
    I have benefited greatly because of this.
    However it seems to work online better than in person.
    Unless I have the opportunity to develop a sincere communicative relationship.
    • MrNameless

      women generally go for hypergamy. They want to marry up. Someone who is smart, rich/well to do is on their top list.

    • @MrNameless Yes, he might be the "beta provider", but they still want the Alpha stud as their "Friend WIth Benefits".

    • ManOnFire

      @standingUP If women love the intellectual man so much, then why are they rejecting them for the guys who are dumb but sexually attractive to them?

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  • G3tAClue
    I think you’ve met a lot of bad women, honestly, and you’ve probably seen the worst of them on the internet. They disgust me too, the arrogance and entitlement.

    When it comes to the sexual lifestyles, you can’t blame this all on women. We live in a sick cycle where someone gets hurt and then ends up hurting the next person they date. The only time I have been in a casual sexual relationship was after I had been sexually assaulted. I told the guy I was sexually involved with that I couldn’t be in an emotional relationship at the moment. Otherwise, that is not the norm for me.

    Yes, there are a lot of “kingly” men out there. But as a woman, I am always on the lookout for the ones who lie just to get sex. I don’t think guys are more honest, on the contrary, I have encountered an overwhelming amount of dishonesty from men in my adult life. I’ve learned to not take this personally, in fact, I’ve gotten really good at detecting when a guy just wants into my pants.

    “How can you ever work things out with men if you believe they’re the problem and you aren’t? “

    Everyone is the problem. Everyone had to admit their mistakes. If you want love and respect, you first have to give it. Don’t blame me when I have a harder time letting you into my world when my experience with horny liars has rendered me very skeptical.

    I do though, agree with you that women need improvement. As far as entitlement when they also demand equality. Women do need to stop blaming men for their problems. Whenever I tell a feminist that I forgave the man who sexually assaulted me, they get so mad AT ME! Like how dare you forgive someone because he’s a man. Women need to chill on the man hating. It’s getting stupid.
    • JimmyQ

      @G3tAClue You sound alright.

    • Although I replied to another girl saying men are generally more honest in their misgivings, I can also see your side of things, and know exactly what your talking about. Degeneracy runs both ways.

    • kim45456

      It is not about the sexual abuser being a man but forgiving rapists or sexual abuser dont make you better than these abusers. I would say the same thing if the abuser would be a women. And also having only casual sex relationship is not a mistake

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  • DorkVader
    Every inch of me hated reading this, but you're right. It's fair. It's the main reason I'm single right now and will probably die forever alone. I have a lot of work to do, and I don't expect people to tolerate me while I'm under construction or incomplete. I'm more forgiving with others, but I'm not even to a stable holding pattern right now, so I can't ask for much, yeah? Makes me sad everyday, tbh, because I see flaming trainwrecks hooking up with unsuspecting victims all day long and it sucks, from my perspective. Anyway, good myTake.
    • ManOnFire

      As long as you're admitting it and confronting yourself then you are on the right path. Change begins with The Self.

    • DorkVader

      I know. I hate it, lol

    • What, is this a girl that sucks up her prude and admits that she's wrong and not using something to downplay it? Kudos to you, I feel like this is a issue with some girls. I literally remember in a thread that a girl admitted that she cheated but kept bringing up things like "well I wasn't really in love/he did hang out with other girls/ etc" And keep trying to reduce her actions instead of being mature and be outgoing about it.

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  • Lynx122
    I agree with a lot of what you said. I think some women think because they're dating it's a success and they don't think they need to improve themselves. They don't realise that it can just be a distraction and actually stop them from finding a good guy. Men get harsher feedback in the dating market and they can't delude themselves that everything is fine.
    • ManOnFire

      "I think some women think because they're dating it's a success and they don't think they need to improve themselves."
      "Men get harsher feedback in the dating market and they can't delude themselves that everything is fine."
      - Super sharp points.

  • Thatsamazing
    Well-said on most points, and you're totally right about the self-serving bullshit the Internet feeds girls (made by both males and females, but mostly by other females) about being "queens" and all that nonsense. Males are always told that we're the ones that need to improve. Girls-- GUYS ARE NOT "INTIMIDATED" BY YOU. Stop lying to yourselves if you want to help yourselves and no longer be single.

    The only thing I would add is that you didn't mention anything about physicality... you only mentioned mental/emotional stuff. Females also need to work on themselves physically. In the West, and especially in America, most females are unattractively fat and out of shape. That isn't attractive. But when a guy is unfit or out of shape, other guys have positive conversations with him about improving himself not just mentally and emotionally, but physically-- "hey man, let's hit the gym and improve your nutrition, getting fit will get you more attention from girls." Girls aren't told the same message the other way around, and it's poisoning the entire dating pool.
  • aicarg
    Awesome mytake! Indeed very insightful and I hope reaches the attention of both women and men. Many fall short to see that a relationship is a growing process that goes two ways in what both have to offer in keeping the flame and building one another up. I have so many friends that date for less than a year cause they simply get "bored" or learn and nit-pick at too many "flaws" after a few months and call it quits, forgetting why they were attracted to eachother in the first place. Then they both end up feeling broken and unwanted... leaving them in a spiraling stage of not caring for themself and forgetting that one needs to get their act together and live themself before loving others. I feel the shame in dating nowadays is that we don't have the time and luxury to meet and actually date diffrent people to find someone who compliments us due to life's busy schedule and expectations. Dating is hard, and finding a well rounded person isn't easy. But once you find and love someone, putting in the love and effort to grow together actually comes naturally when you see the person is worth your love.
  • mrdimples78
    Most excellent my take Mister fire... I believe with a disconnect comes in is women constantly being fed this "girl power", jargon about how they can do anything that men can do and yes have developed a bit of an arrogance with it... They crave being able to do anything that we can do with not having to develop their character or develop themselves..
    • @mrdimples78 Very true, which had made women ultra-competitive rather than complimentary. Who the hell wants to be with a woman who feels the need to compete, one-up, and undercut, everything you do, everyday, all day.

    • ariadneR

      Preach!!

    • @mrdimples78 you are right most women who are at higher position even in personal life become Cold or arrogant and loose their womanhood in order to compete with a man they become one and loose themselves

  • Jamie05rhs
    "And contrary to how they might want you to see it, the truth is that many women don’t actually have a real relationship or real boyfriend. A lot of women are with men that they’re just having sex with." Interesting point to ponder. Is this true?
    • ManOnFire

      It actually is true, yeah. Lots of women are just sleeping with somebody and calling them their 'boyfriend' when it's really just a glorified friends with benefits life. Not any serious love in it.

    • @ManOnFire That's sad.

  • willisg
    The women you described are the ones 30 years down the road that is successful but fat tired and lonely. They end up on telling fantasy lies about themselves on dating sites with profile pictures 20 years younger.
    The ones that is jacked today will be Jacked on those dating sites 20 to 30 year from now.
    • ManOnFire

      "They end up on telling fantasy lies about themselves on dating sites with profile pictures 20 years younger."
      - This is true!

  • Anoniemus
    Sounds like subjective perceptions projected onto women. Human relations are complex and not as simple as you make it out to be. Disagree.
    • Anoniemus

      Are people really saying this is good and insightful? It's sad is what it is.

      -Always realize that you may be the issue. Duh. What's interesting is that most guys that I've interacted on here don't tend to look at that.

      -The rest is bias based on personal beliefs and stating that all women should follow. It's not profound or remotely interesting. It's garbage because it takes a position of authority when it is merely an opinion.

      LOL. People are dumb. :)

    • Mur-x2

      Very well said

    • JimmyQ

      @Anoniemus Yeah, people are dumb, but not all. Some can and do learn. They become the success stories while the blame gammers are still swirling around the toilet bowl.

      Woman do not possess the natural intellect to make a successful relationship. That is a scientifically sound fact and not something I just fling out there to hurt your feelings. So, when you fail over and over, you should start to question your ability to work this thing out.

      Another scientific fact is that every time you sleep with another man, you are lowering your ability to be a fit life mate. Sexual intercourse permanently changes a woman's body chemistry and with multiple partners you face an increased suicidal tendencies and increased chances of ovarian cancer as well as so may other std's.

      So go ahead and turn up your nose at the facts, but there is a lot of truth in what this man is saying.

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  • CubsterShura
    I can't really vouch for everything the myTake says because of coming from a whole different part of the world with a different culture, but I do agree that even though no one ever deserves less than honorable treatment, you do have to put the work in yourself if you are willing to date/marry someone of high caliber. And a lot of women really have the princess complex, as a result of poor parenting and/or society, in my opinion.
    • kim45456

      He is shaming women for their sexual life

    • Reminding women of their accountability isn't shaming.

    • kim45456

      Do you also reduce men to their srxual life

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  • AD240pCharlie
    I'm surprised there aren't more responses of the "Men too blablabla" type that you would never expect if the article was the other way around.
    It's refreshing to see how many people on this site are actually rational when I so often only see the ugly side of people on here.
    • ManOnFire

      I know, it really is. Surprisingly it's some of the men giving those pathetic responses.

    • kim45456

      I never ever I see an article which critisize a man's sex life

    • @kim45456 Never visited places like BuzzFeed, The Huffington Post or New York Times? Those kinds of articles are pretty common there.

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  • hsshannah96
    I agree but I don’t agree with the “men are more honest”

    this has not been my experience
    • jaybee281

      How is that.. Because i think men are definitely more honest with everyone while girls would literally "act" nice towards people they don't like and talk shit about them behind their back.. And as in a relationship well guys are usually the ones who initiate and say that they like you and show interest if you are not honest enough or if they feel weak about something then they probably won't be honest.. Definitely depends on your own situation of course

    • ManOnFire

      @jaybee281 "while girls would literally "act" nice towards people they don't like and talk shit about them behind their back"
      - This is incredibly accurate.

    • It isn’t always accurate and it isn’t accurate in my social circles

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  • DizzyDesii
    For the first point, I mean i can honestly say i had manipulative controlling ways in one of my relationships. So i do admit to i was part of the reason it failed. Bt i could never take all the blame because he didn't do his part and that partially lead to me becoming that way. At the same time, i was taken advantage of in my first relationship so i told myself that i’d be the boss in all the relationships to follow.

    Im not worried about the second point though cause i have morals and won't pop pussy for just anyone lol.

    good take tho
    • ManOnFire

      "i was taken advantage of in my first relationship so i told myself that i’d be the boss in all the relationships to follow."
      - Been through the same and I am now the same too, yeah.

    • DizzyDesii

      Yea its hard to come back from such strength once you found it. I dont know how to be “weak” again. I dont wanna

    • ManOnFire

      That is actually a really good and strong point. It's not something you really can go back to once you have clearer vision and stronger skin, yeah.

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  • Tish94
    Preach it Mr

    But same goes for men on some of that

    Well I can actually understand what you are saying.
  • Dongtai
    The same article can be written about men and each point can be applied to them. This isn’t exclusive to women.

    People in general need to work on themselves and have a good idea of who they are and why they want not just in a partner but also in life. A lot of people go into relationships without knowing “themselves” and sometimes try to find out through other people.

    Happiness, fulfillment, confidence and many other feelings are often sought out through other people. But what I’ve found is that once you look inside yourself and find these things it’s easier to draw in high quality partners and healthy relationships. But when you don’t have that you draw in bad matches and cultivate unhealthy relationships.

    Know yourself before you invite someone into your life. Male or female.
    • ManOnFire

      No. This cannot be written about men in the same way neither can each point be applied to them. It is exclusive to women because we are already telling men what they should be for women. Few people are telling women the truth about needing to cultivate themselves and let go of their ego for a relationship.

      We can always try to make a case be about "both people/parties" but sometimes the situation IS going to apply to one more than the other.

    • Dongtai

      It’s not just women it’s society. Society needs work. Everyone likes to point fingers but the truth is not one group has its shit together. To just point out what women need to do seems jaded and sexist. But this is a cycle. People react to the actions of others.

      For example. Some woman starts out nice and open to men she meets. But after a few bad experiences with men in particular her guard goes up. Now she comes off as rude or mean to most men.

      Now you have a guy who starts out the same as her. But he meets a few girls like the one above and the same thing happens to him.

      Every action and word matters. Big or small. This isn’t an issue specific to one group. It all ties together and it’ll stay this way until collectively we understand this.

      Women wouldn’t be how they are without the influence of men and vice versa. One group can’t pull it together without the other group pulling it together.

    • LeafLover

      I agree 100% with Dongtai

    • Show All
  • chadpattan
    "Facebook, Instagram, and quotes you find on Google are even overflowing with all this self-serving vomit that women eat up daily. We have flooded women’s minds with dangerous lies and influence to make them believe that men or anyone else are the ones who are “toxic,” don’t “deserve her,” and should be given silence or total cut-off."

    You really don't need the rest of the article. Just bold this and you're good.
  • Kdude010
    Thank you. Some of these women that are getting emotional are hypocrites. If a woman were to make the same post, but towards men being better, then they'll in agreement with the post. Why can't they just admit that they're sexist female-incels?

    Women need to learn how to take responsibility.
  • FatherJack
    Great take , a major problem is " society " the " education " systems and the BS controlled agenda driven " media " , those REALLY in power wish to build a proverbial Berlin Wall between the genders , it is not entirely the fault of women , they have been bombarded... all by design , with the " I don't need no man / men are all shit " message since they were early school age girls , all designed to influence where it matters , the subconscious. The more emotional female brain is more prone to this programming than the male , and those behind this are well aware that there will be a male backlash at some point. Therefore the message that has been absorbed by most women from an early age is that they are superior to men , and that men are disposable utilities at best , that exist to serve them.
  • Ámayas_20
    I so nearly agreed with you and I kind of do unfortunately your sexism became clear the more I read, which is actually sad because your base points have a lot of truth in them.
    • ManOnFire

      LMFAO.

    • Not a suprising reply.

    • He's laughing because of your ridiculous response, sexism is a term that has no value anymore because it's only used when guys point out that we have expectations, too. Especially when they point out that girls need to stop looking out the window and start looking in the mirror and see that they're responsible for their life, nobody else. That's why he's laughing at you, and for the same reasons, I'm laughing at you, too

    • Show All
  • Regmorus
    I have a strong impression that women blame men and men blame women (primarily, of course not exclusively) in new ages and nobody (or minority) speaks or thinks about people and the flaws of people. Too much of division has been established and cultivated already, why the need and wish to take it even further. Particularly I'm sure that if we evaluate the average occurence of the negative traits or behavior patterns mentioned in the mytake among men and women population we'll have to state equality. Gender specific flaws don't exist (even without special consideration of the mixture-shape the world is coming into). However these are just my thoughts and results of my observations. Especially it's not based on scientific evidence. If someone has statistics that prove me wrong, I'd be thankful for linking.
    • Regmorus

      But don't get me wrong, of course women must work on themselves only that I think it is an unneeded and dangerous restriction to phrase it that way, focusing on women, although I got your opinion that men be more free from the discussed flaws.

    • ManOnFire

      @Regmorus For ages we have put excessive focus on how men are supposed to be for women, and we blame men for when women are pigheaded towards them or living pigheaded lifestyles. Rarely to almost never do we put importance on how women should improve themselves for a relationship with a man. Many a woman - and man - has written their own articles over the years about the importance of what it means to be a good man for a woman, but little to none vice versa. I find it entertaining to see some of the people on this post giving the cliche responses that "both people need to improve" and "it really isn't a gender thing" just because we're talking about women. When they rarely give the same retorts on posts that talk about men. It simply proves the problem I already outlined.

    • Regmorus

      Hm, I think the problem is exactly that actually very rare individuals "give such cliche responses". If evryone would do in their own mind regardless of whether it's about men or women, there wouldn't be any problem at all with flaws and division of men and women in two confronting parties. I agree that it is important to speak about the need of self-improvement of women TOO, but in my opinion the fault and flaws are equally distributed between men and women, whereas your mytake centralizes women as the carrier of the certain bad traits. That is my opinion, just like your opinion is your opinion (and both of us think of course (primarily) their is the truth). And I had to voice mine to give some opposition to the impression your mytake might cause by the reader:)

  • Massageman
    Just saw a re-run of Wonder Woman. Diana Prince (aka WW), said with a knowing wink, "I guess the best thing for us to do is to just be the best women that we can be."
    Not a bad idea.
    • Too bad that movie is horribly written

    • @BlueberryTwist This quote was the from the TV series episode, S1/E9. The first year of the TV Series wan't too bad. The first year of the series- set during World War II- seemed better done than the subsequent years set in present day. IDK= maybe they said something similar in the movies- I didn't want to waste money on them.

  • TienShenhan
    You can tell which girls are the good ones you describe and which ones are the bad by simply reading the comment section. Cracks me up that the entitled skanks went on the attack immediately because they can tell you're just full of toxic masculinity (because you made them self-reflect.) Comedy gold
    • kim45456

      So we are bad, only because we disagree with his biased bullshit?

    • I think everyone can tell who's biased here, you poor thing

  • I came in thinking I'd disagree and start spamming you with Nicholas Cage memes, but I actually agreed with what you said, I'd brace for impact because girls will likely get butthurt that you're telling the truth that they want to avoid at all costs by placing blame on men that they date😂
  • CalabrianClaudia
    Wow dude! Just WOW! Sounds like you REALLY hate women! I think MEN should take a look at themselves. We don't send YOU guys perverted messages.
    • Kdude010

      Ironic, considering that if a woman were to make the same post, but about men then other women will be agreeing and praising her. Pretty sure you wouldn't be calling her a man-hater.

    • Actually they do, granted they were desperate literal escorts who were trying to get me to be their customer😂 He hates how they tend to act and play the victim and vehemently reject any personal responsibility for their own lives, your response alone proves his point

    • jasco

      CalabrianClaudia that isn't trust i have met lots of older women who have given me perverted messages before so its not true when you say women dont give men perverted messages

    • Show All
  • art84
    I think men and women should consistently work on themselves. The work is never done in building ourselves to the best that we can be in life where we are content and satisfied with ourselves both emotional and physically.
  • LEADFOOTboi
    XD... next time i see one i don't wanna start with... i'll tell her "i suggest you go work on yourself... until then, you're FRIENDZONED"...
  • Shamalien
    Well when all of society enables your worst tendencies, it's hard not to become a sinful creature. We as men need to accept our responsibility as well. Stop playing into ridiculous female expectations, if that means being single instead of settling for trash, so be it.
    • Not disagreeing at all. But I think, in a state of irony, that it's a good thing society presently promotes the worst in human character. It allows us to see who'll buckle into degeneracy, and who won't... Men and women alike.

    • Shamalien

      @FreshOutaIdeas rofl you don't live on the west coast man. It's too fucking contagious. Like if there are no women worth wifing, what does a man's brain do? It goes into pump n dump mode. To resist that is... difficult

    • kim45456

      Yeah go fuck yourself, you male cunt. Are you thst triggered by a womans sex life?

    • Show All
  • whywhywhywhwy
    Very broad statements there. Maybe they’re true, maybe not, I don’t really care. I don’t care what others do, I can’t control them and have no desire too. I do have schizoid pd though so maybe that’s why a good bit of people don’t see things that way. Anyway, free will doesn’t exist so
  • lifelearner011
    Wel all need always to be constantly working in life.
    Ps. Yet, I think there comes a time, in which focusing so much in improving might become toxic. We're living very challenging times, in relational aspects I dare to say there's a current detrimental on what treating people with love and respect is. Which of course is an aspect based in how each person assumes their own self-respect and standards.
  • FreshOutaIdeas
    Man... I'm glad there are other guys out there articulating this. It's singularly the biggest problem I've faced, that being finding a girl who is "on my level". No I'm not perfect, far from, but I am the kinda guy who strives to be the best version of himself. Attracting women isn't a problem for me, being "the man" isn't the problem for me, but finding a chick who not only looks good, but isn't to varying degrees, a broken mess, is like finding a needle in the haystack these days.

    I'm not bashing women for the sake of it, as the increasing wedge being put between the genders is engineered by the (((powers that be))); but I do see before me a current crop of girls and guys in my generation, that aren't worth anywhere near as much a the shit on the bottom of my shoe. This stretches far beyond the dating game too, the largest problem of all is that people generally, lack the character and moral fibre to be upright individuals, and this impacts so much on mating and dating.
    • kim45456

      Are you also look good

    • kim45456

      Do you also look good?**

    • @kim45456
      Wouldn't you like to know? Lol. Well let's just say I don't struggle in that department... I'm a little more... "Aggressive" than most of my peers.

  • kangy
    I agreed to be the best version of ourselves
    be happy
    be contented
    do something positive and meaningful
  • Shellyworld
    I think you have met a lot of bad women then. Unfortunately its the same case in eastern countries.
    • ManOnFire

      If that's true then that's disappointing as well.

  • KrakenAttackin
    Very well said. I have said for years that women want (demand) two men. One man to who they see as the stud Alpha they can have sex with anytime, and man #2 who is the Beta provider who does what he is told and shuts the fuck up.

    This is why women have such deep friend-zone-benches, they already have the "Friends With Benefits", but they are subconsciously searching for the beta-simp who will pay the bill.

    Research has shown the the "misery" index is at a 96 year high for women in the West, the highest ever recorded. And women have done it to themselves.
    • MrNameless

      "Research has shown the the "misery" index is at a 96 year high for women in the West, the highest ever recorded. And women have done it to themselves."

      What research? I'm pretty sure that doesn't compare to third world countries in more patriarchal societies where women don't have nearly the same rights or safe to live in as western countries. And I'm petty sure a high misery index wouldn't be because of choosing between two types of men

    • ManOnFire

      @KrakenAttackin "I have said for years that women want (demand) two men. One man to who they see as the stud Alpha they can have sex with anytime, and man #2 who is the Beta provider who does what he is told and shuts the fuck up."
      - This is 100% accurate.

    • @MrNameless I have seen the study, it was published in 2016 or 2017, I will see if I can find it.

    • Show All
  • TheDevilYouKnow
    Really, you're an "Editor"... run on sentences, unbroken paragraphs and full of shit... Tosses top hat in the air and watches the rabbit fall to its death. YOU THINK TOO MUCH! And talk too much.

    I tried and tried to read through your poorly grammar written manifesto, but the truth is. Every time I read it, it scream "Unwilling Unsocial Virgin". You aren't perfect, women aren't either and get one that is willing to drain your nutts.
  • nomadia
    I get what you're saying. You do make valid points. I hate the fact that some females are so needy and want men to be and do everything while they just stand around feeling entitled. But I think it goes both ways. For men and women alike. I believe it's the mindset of an individual, some men like women like that who are always in this helpless victim mode. And its women like this that attract all the wrong attention. These women give men the false sense of being strong and useful etc. And when men see them as vulnerable easy targets and weak women will give into then. I believe women and men should have high standards for potential mates and like wise posess them. This way both will be better and have more to offer the other.
  • kim45456
    Sorry but you are incesure if you are get triggered by her past sexual life. Why can men sleep around or have sexual activities while women can't, otherwise she is bad
    • Anoniemus

      Thank you. Hypocrisy.

    • You've completely (deliberately?) missed the entire point of OPs take. He wasn't admonishing men of their own drawbacks, guys are just more honest about their misgivings. Women do need improving, as do many men, but the modern woman, even the good ones to a degree, so suffer from programmed self entitlement.

    • Anoniemus

      Which isn't true. It's based off a biased perspective and stereotypes. Your moronic notion of entitlement is merely a guise for misogyny: as if men are OWED things from women.

    • Show All
  • 1828avaava1828
    Sun falls down on the fields
    sun falls down over me
    work all day and be all I can be
  • Bananaman177
    I know what works on a woman, laddie. Believe me.
    • Every woman who honestly misbehaves, deserves a smack on the ass 😉

  • CharlieUnicorn
    It's true but I think it gets a little confused if we don't consider there's several different strata of men and women who range from completely frivolous adult-children to the responsible grownup version of themselves.
    What I mean is women who drive the discussion on expectations on men are often the latter. Adult socially and fiscally responsible grownups. They're usually in their 30's and trying to find grown men to settle down with; not many around (and those that are often don't share the same dreams they do).

    But, it gets completely tragicomical when younger, irresponsible and childishly spoiled women put up the same expectation.
    Like uh, no honey, you don't deserve that man. You deserve those guys that the former ladies there, were complaining about.
    • I think this is a valid point.

    • kim45456

      What about male adult kids?

    • @kim45456 It's complimentary of course. Immature men deserve immature women.

  • I actually agree with you. Women are in general their insecure but also to proud to admit it. And everyone has flaws but mainly people are to arrogant to see that. Because we don't really care about other people's feelings we only care about ourselves and having things our way. WHICH IS KINDA SELFISH AND CHILDISH. I truly believe that respect breeds respect. You have to give it to get it. I am however not going to comment on sex because I'm still a virgin but all I can say is a relationship is all about compromise. Sometimes you give and sometimes you recieve and that I difficult for most people to understand
  • Snakeyes7
    I agree that women should bring something to the table too but lay off on the generalizations. The vast majority of women see this kind of behavior as detestable as you do.
  • Passinggas
    I know you worked hard on this take and your heart is in it but why should they? Women don’t need men and any incentive to improve themselves, would be seen as a sign of weakness in this anti-male culture. Women simply have no incentive in which they can naturally relate that would motivate them to improve. About the only thing that incentivizes these women is the clock and for the ones with baby instincts those egg reserves start to change their outlook but by then it is too late. Yes man with fire still in your crotch, it is more entertaining to watch them be a-holes and just go through life to the cliff and obtain enlightenment on that last inch of the precipice. Life is short; don’t waste it on this stupid sht. They “ain’t“ changing.
  • DeltaCharlieEcho
    Here's the way attractiveness works in America:

    Women: Be skinny and know how to make yourself attractive.

    Men: Be over 6 feet tall, be muscular but not too muscular, have an advanced degree but don't be more educated than her, have a good job that pays a ton but don't spend any money unless it's on her, be in the 20% of men that women consider averagely attractive or better, dress nice but not too nice, be what's in style and be willing to become what will be in style next, be genuine but only say what she wants to hear/do what she wants to do/and want to do it, be dominant but subservient to get desires, think for yourself as long as it aligns with what she believes... The list goes on and on. No man is attractive to a woman in any way that can be defined concretely.

    Men spend our entire lives doing everything we can to be better; women spend their entire lives complaining that men aren't good enough.
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