I recently read this book on helping women succeed better in male-dominated workplaces. I was surprised to read that there are a lot more traits besides being a workaholic and being aggressive that constitute the way men operate at work. It even says at one point that many head businessmen find it interesting that of all the traits women could choose from that are generally considered masculine, they always seem to choose to embody traits that even men don't like about each other. Here are the traits that I found most interesting that perhaps other women didn't know about either. Also, any guys out there who have anything else to add or comment on, please feel free to share!
- Men save face when their colleagues make mistakes. While it's difficult to believe that all men are as nice as that, aparantly the men who don't save face are more aware that it will do damage to the other guy's self esteem than a woman would be when not choosing to save face. Things like sighing when other colleagues get up to go to another room when you're giving a presentation can be enough to sabotage the sigher's chance of advancement to higher roles. So as a general rule, only start criticizing colleagues when it is absolutely necessary.
- Showing team spirit by working at the office rather than at home to show team spirit. There are two things going on here. First, men do not bond with their colleagues by verbally sharing their negative emotions towards getting a task done. Instead, they convey the same message simply through their actions, in the form of working at the office location, and not leaving right at 5:00 pm in order to pick the kids up. Likewise, men aparantly help other colleagues to do their work. Not because they are nurturing, but because they have compartmental mindsets that want all work to be done during work hours, so that everyone can enjoy their personal time after work. I was shocked to hear that women don't come across as helping others, but I guess it's that compartmental aspect of not thinking about work after hours that causes the different behavior between the two groups.
- Men only talk about the goal they achieved, and not the emotional difficulties that were involved in the process. So I guess women lose respect from men when it seems like they need to brag about all of their hard work, because men assume that ALL tasks require you to put in all of your efforts. So talking about a specific task's difficulties makes it seem like all of the rest of the time you're not giving 100% of yourself, and it causes suspicion.
- Men let their bosses know of the achievements they made. If women don't do the same, then male bosses just assume you haven't accomplished anything. Not good when he's deciding who to promote and who to cut.
- Male colleagues remain friends with their bosses who fired them. Men understand that the boss fired them because they simply were not well suited for the position, rather than an attack on them as a person. Therefore, if they were friends before, getting fired won't have an effect on the friendship.
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