This shouldn't take too long.
Something that I overheard at a bar last night
was a lonnnnnnng conversation between a group of friends at the next table. One of the females was telling another female friend/coworker that she (the friend she was talking to) was so UNBELIEVABLY pretty, OH MY GOD she was so so SO very pretty, gorgeous, amazing WOW, and "have your shit together," and there was "no reason!" why she should be single, and that the reason she was single was that guys are "intimidated" of her for her personality and because she has her shit together, and because she was so pretty. Additionally, after hearing more of their talk, it became clear that the chick in question had a kid. And that that is "intimidating," again.
...So. Wow. Lots to unpack.
Okay, there is truth in what she said to her friend there about what guys do *actually* find intimidating in females, because there is only one thing. Unfortunately for the well-meaning lies she was telling her friend, "having your shit together" is not one of them. Nor is personality. The only freaking reason guys are intimidated by a particular girl is because of one thing, and one thing only, and that is if she is incredibly hot/pretty. Like a 8.5, 9, or 10. Model status. Now, that's what this female was telling her friend, right? So she was correct, right?
Well... no. She wasn't correct. Because her friend looked something like this.
^ This girl is fat/overweight, and average. She is not particularly pretty. If you think she is, you're measurably and objectively wrong. There are fatter girls out there, sure, and less attractive girls out there, sure. I'm not trying to pick on ^ this chick, or the chicks in question, or chicks who look like ^ this chick. Picking on someone isn't the point-- the point is that guys are not "intimidated" by chicks who look like this. Guys are not "intimidated" by a girl's personality. Guys are not "intimidated" by girls having their shit together. If a guy is not into a girl, does not seek out a girl, and that girl stays single, it is not because we are "intimidated" by her-- *it is because we simply do not LIKE her.*
Girls, please, PLEASE listen. Unless you are *objectively a true and actual hottie,* and be honest with yourself about that,
-- he is not "intimidated" by your looks/body; he is simply NOT ATTRACTED to your looks/body.
-- he is not "intimidated" by your personality; he simply DOES NOT LIKE your personality and maybe thinks you're abrasive or something.
-- he is not "intimidated" by you having your shit together; he is simply NOT IMPRESSED by you having your shit together. Whether or not he has his own shit together doesn't play into it.
-- he is not "intimidated" by you having a kid; he simply DOES NOT WANT someone else's kid.
So. Girls, please, please do not lie to your friends, or to yourselves, about a guy not liking you because he's "intimidated" by you. For the third time, the only reason guys are intimidated by a girl is if the girl in question is truly and actually incredibly model-status attractive. You then, if you believe the "intimidation" nonsense, will-- rather than changing and possibly improving and actually attracting more guys-- unfortunately tell yourselves that you are a perfect little perfect, and it's EVERYONE ELSE'S fault that you're single because you know, you're perfect, and if they can't see that then it's their fault. ...Now that's cute and all, but it's not actually helpful, and isn't going to get you dates or a boyfriend/husband.
THE POINT OF THIS TAKE
is NOT to suggest that average girls can't get dates or boyfriends. It's actually much, much easier for average and even overweight girls to get dates than it is for average guys to get dates. The POINT is that if girls are telling themselves that they're single due to "intimidation," they are LYING TO THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER and will likely continue to stay single unless they try to better themselves both physically and mentally/emotionally/personality-wise. The chick at the bar in question was not single because guys are "intimidated" by her-- she's single because she's 1) overweight and 2) a mom, and the overwhelming majority of guys, especially most quality ones, don't freaking want that so we stay away.
Don't be like those females at this bar having such an absurd conversation, and wise up.
Thaaanks. Hugs and kisses.