Girls-- GUYS ARE NOT "INTIMIDATED" BY YOU. Stop lying to yourselves if you want to help yourselves and no longer be single.


This shouldn't take too long.

Something that I overheard at a bar last night

was a lonnnnnnng conversation between a group of friends at the next table. One of the females was telling another female friend/coworker that she (the friend she was talking to) was so UNBELIEVABLY pretty, OH MY GOD she was so so SO very pretty, gorgeous, amazing WOW, and "have your shit together," and there was "no reason!" why she should be single, and that the reason she was single was that guys are "intimidated" of her for her personality and because she has her shit together, and because she was so pretty. Additionally, after hearing more of their talk, it became clear that the chick in question had a kid. And that that is "intimidating," again.

...So. Wow. Lots to unpack.

Okay, there is truth in what she said to her friend there about what guys do *actually* find intimidating in females, because there is only one thing. Unfortunately for the well-meaning lies she was telling her friend, "having your shit together" is not one of them. Nor is personality. The only freaking reason guys are intimidated by a particular girl is because of one thing, and one thing only, and that is if she is incredibly hot/pretty. Like a 8.5, 9, or 10. Model status. Now, that's what this female was telling her friend, right? So she was correct, right?

Well... no. She wasn't correct. Because her friend looked something like this.

Not the girl in question, just someone who looks similar.
Not the girl in question, just someone who looks similar.

^ This girl is fat/overweight, and average. She is not particularly pretty. If you think she is, you're measurably and objectively wrong. There are fatter girls out there, sure, and less attractive girls out there, sure. I'm not trying to pick on ^ this chick, or the chicks in question, or chicks who look like ^ this chick. Picking on someone isn't the point-- the point is that guys are not "intimidated" by chicks who look like this. Guys are not "intimidated" by a girl's personality. Guys are not "intimidated" by girls having their shit together. If a guy is not into a girl, does not seek out a girl, and that girl stays single, it is not because we are "intimidated" by her-- *it is because we simply do not LIKE her.*

Girls, please, PLEASE listen. Unless you are *objectively a true and actual hottie,* and be honest with yourself about that,

-- he is not "intimidated" by your looks/body; he is simply NOT ATTRACTED to your looks/body.

-- he is not "intimidated" by your personality; he simply DOES NOT LIKE your personality and maybe thinks you're abrasive or something.

-- he is not "intimidated" by you having your shit together; he is simply NOT IMPRESSED by you having your shit together. Whether or not he has his own shit together doesn't play into it.

-- he is not "intimidated" by you having a kid; he simply DOES NOT WANT someone else's kid.

So. Girls, please, please do not lie to your friends, or to yourselves, about a guy not liking you because he's "intimidated" by you. For the third time, the only reason guys are intimidated by a girl is if the girl in question is truly and actually incredibly model-status attractive. You then, if you believe the "intimidation" nonsense, will-- rather than changing and possibly improving and actually attracting more guys-- unfortunately tell yourselves that you are a perfect little perfect, and it's EVERYONE ELSE'S fault that you're single because you know, you're perfect, and if they can't see that then it's their fault. ...Now that's cute and all, but it's not actually helpful, and isn't going to get you dates or a boyfriend/husband.


is NOT to suggest that average girls can't get dates or boyfriends. It's actually much, much easier for average and even overweight girls to get dates than it is for average guys to get dates. The POINT is that if girls are telling themselves that they're single due to "intimidation," they are LYING TO THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER and will likely continue to stay single unless they try to better themselves both physically and mentally/emotionally/personality-wise. The chick at the bar in question was not single because guys are "intimidated" by her-- she's single because she's 1) overweight and 2) a mom, and the overwhelming majority of guys, especially most quality ones, don't freaking want that so we stay away.

Don't be like those females at this bar having such an absurd conversation, and wise up.


Thaaanks. Hugs and kisses.

Girls-- GUYS ARE NOT "INTIMIDATED" BY YOU. Stop lying to yourselves if you want to help yourselves and no longer be single.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Dextrosis
    I'd make one small adjustment to your conclusion if I were to apply this to me.

    People sometimes have unconventional tastes. What I find a 8.5, 9 or a 10 might be different than yours.

    I'd say 8.5, 9 or 10 in all things that attract men, not just looks.

    There was a woman I loved that had to have been Venus. Others might have found her average or odd looking, but almost everything about her was rocket fuel to me.

    Her attitude and sexual energy overwhelmed me.

    Whenever she ever gave me an angry or annoyed look it was an instant, explosive boner.

    Obviously she wasn't perfect, and she had some pretty glaring flaws but that didn't matter so much to me.

    But we didn't share the same values, so I had to reject her sharply--I simply could not resist her any other way.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Dextrosis

      She intimidated the hell out of me and I regret to say that at the expense of my self-respect and dignity I enjoyed every single minute of it.

    • Uh... okay?

    • Dextrosis

      Dude, if you've never felt that way about someone you are wasting your time with anyone else.

    • Show All
  • englisc
    This is so true. I see this all the time and it's kind of funny but also kind of annoying. Women seem convinced that every time a man is uninterested it's something about her which "intimidates him".

    They're like guys who think that women aren't interested in them because they're "too nice" when really it's because they're boring/needy.

    I guess it makes them feel better if they can pretend that the reason the opposite sex isn't attracted to them is because they're just "too good" for them rather than admit that they have any negative qualities.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Mickey9999
    Interesting. Perhaps due to your youth? I’ve been told by several men that confessed they were intimidated to approach me or ask me out. Successful, not afraid to speak my mind, financially secure in my own right, educated, and attractive but definitely not an 8.5 or above. And i don’t think less of the men that confesses this either... they seem to be 100% men in their own right. So maybe it’s more of a full varied history of women... maybe not less success but just more experience all around?
    Is this still revelant?
    • ... No, it's because they were telling you what they knew you wanted to hear. We know that females want to be told that they are "intimidating" because it makes them feel powerful in a weird way. So...

    • Mickey9999

      No actually. It doesn’t feel powerful. And i see it as neither a compliment nor an insult. It’s actually confusing as it’s not the vibe i prefer to give off. Let’s not assume and keep an open mind shall we

    • Sure sis

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

  • AilsaGourly
    I'm sorry I didn't read through your whole fucking book but two you think all girls try to be intimidating. I'm sure that only a small percentage of woman think that. I prefer to be kind and cute and try to make the boy the owner of the relationship
    • ... I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. Your comment makes no sense.

  • InTimoreDei
    Soooooo many bloody posts on here by girls saying guys find them "intimidating". So annoying. Thank you for calling out that bullshit.

    We do NOT find you intimidating, ladies. Not in the least. Stop using that excuse when we just don't like you.
  • ImBigGeorge
    Good looking or not a female is a female, thats it.. Another human being.. It would be the responsibly of here having a child that can "intimidate" a male off.. Other than that her defences might be way to high.
  • Flatmanlewis
    I’ll have to admit, I’ve heard more than a few female coworkers say this kind of stuff. I never, ever, EVER would tell them something like this but I sure want to. Not to be mean but to help them. Men are not intimidated by their careers or how smart they are. (If you think your smarts intimidate people you better be packing a PhD or a brain surgeon or something!) Its such a desperate and sad ploy to soothe their own insecurities and try and convince themselves they need no improvement.

    To compound it, every time we hire some poor girl who had the misfortune of being more attractive and soliciting the attention of any of the males we employ, then they turn their cattiness on her. This is unfair because more often than not the new girl neither wants or encourages the male attention but it happens none the less.
  • Truthatanycost
    A single Mom asked me out on a date. I said no... later I heard it was because I was intimidated by her. I guess whatever makes her feel better about it...

    Ladies. No means NO ok...
  • nerdybutlazy
    I feel kinda like what you saying it a little subjective, everyone has different tastes that you find hot and intimating some men may not. Besides, I've talked to guy friends and they talk about the fact that talking to a woman first is intimating. The woman you maybe be talking about maybe no prize but let's not lie to ourselves as if everyone that's model gorgeous is worth the time of day, cause honestly some of them are far worse then the lady you mentioned her
    • Yes... and when those guys tell you that talking to a woman first in intimidating, what specifically ABOUT the woman do you think it is that they find intimidating.

  • nerms123
    Yeah I mean even if a guy is actually intimidated by a girl it’s pretty much the same as not liking her because she makes him uncomfortable so it’s not really gonna work out. I think the problem is that women think it’s so horrible if some guy doesn’t like them. There’s literally billions of people in the world. There’s going to be some guys who like a woman no matter what and we see fat ugly people happily dating and married to each other all the time just living their lives.
  • BeMuse
    Hahaha. I think it’s the first step of grief.

    Denial → Anger → Bargaining → Depression → Acceptance

    It’s so annoying to read that intimidation crap on here over and over and over again, but most of them will work through the stages over a 10 year period or something like that. Even extremely attractive women aren’t not intimidating to a lot of confident men so that’s not even a true one.
    • BeMuse

      *are not

    • Well, yes, it mostly is true, for most guys.

    • BeMuse

      Not really. About half of guys have well established self confidence. It's lower in younger men like you. For example in your mid 20s it’s about 49% and by the time guys are old farts around 60 it’s up to about 57%. In general as guys get older they worry about that crap less.

    • Show All
  • TheOnlyAriii
    You're gonna write a novel just to bash in some random girl's private conversations? Okay..
    • morrowlow

      but it's something that almost all women say. it's worth calling out the b. s

    • Lol well... it's not a novel, it's barely 1,000 words I think, and I'm not doing anything but speaking the truth here. It's not about "bashing" one way or the other.

    • @TheOnlyAriii Haha yeah he was too intimidated by her to talk to her in that moment with the same tone and energy.

    • Show All
  • demonics
    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaassss! (Thats how they do it right?) *Hand clap* Say *Hand clap* it *Hand clap* louder *Hand clap* for *Hand clap* the *Hand clap* people *Hand clap* in *Hand clap* the *Hand clap* bac k!
    • Lollll. So accurate. I hate that hand clap thing they all do...

  • RobDude82
    Firstly, the pic, she's just a no (for my tastes anyway) that's why.
    Secondly, I dont think it's an intimidation thing with attractive women, it's either she'll perhaps seem unobtainable, already in a relationship, and naturally 'normal' not cocky guys won't even approach for fear of rejection and embarrassment. However on the flipside, no matter appearance, over confidence can come across as condescending bitchyness, which is totally unapproachable.
    • "she'll perhaps seem unobtainable" ... Yes. Right.

  • Yeah, this sounds about right. Not now nor ever have I been intimidated by a woman. Though I've had guy friends suggest themselves, "intimidated", by how pretty or successful a certain woman is and implying that I ought to be as well. To which I simply say, stop the nonsense and man up.
  • morrowlow
    what other excuse can they use to numb the pain of loneliness?
  • spartan55
    This has always given me a good laugh.
    Are you intimidating? Eh no. Personality of a car crash? Yes.
  • WhiteMageDende
    Applause n lots of hand clapping. Couldnt have said it better myself.
  • MM442
    Men aren't going to approach girls that always cause trouble, harassments, and angry against men too. Girls almost never admit their attitudes and actions are what turns men off too.
  • friendlyjaguar
    I have never been intimated by a female in my life. Even when females try to be intimidating they come off as irritating or cringe.
  • ThisIsMyOpinion
    Finally someone said it! I am going to love the hate that you are going to get over this.
  • CoffeeWC
    If you're not getting guys, you are the one who needs to improve. If you were perfect, you wouldn't have trouble finding a partner.
  • Jaysonava
    Yeah being intimidating is not a good thing. It's anti social. It makes you lose out on opportunities. Makes you lose friends. You wanna be agreeable and kind.
    • Yeah sure, but that's not what the context is here in this post.

  • grega239
    It is funny how some women think they're intimidating.
  • ronaldo75
    Millennial woman have some sort of genetic aversion to every being wrong or being at fault for ANYTHING. They also think they have no flaws and are all perfect. "Even my flaws make me unique". Now that they're headed face first into their late 30s and early 40s, many are finding themselves SINGLE, ALONE, LOSING THEIR LOOKS, LIVING WITH CATS AND A NETFLIX ACCOUNT - and instead of changing their attitude, dropping the arrogance and ego, they're instead saying bullshit like..

    "I'm single because there are no real men around"
    "I"m single because men are scared/intimidated by me"
    "Men don't want me because I don't take shit from anyone"
    "Men are really little boys who hate real women"

    On and on they make excuses and redirect the fact that they're over the hill trainwrecks that no one wants back to their egos.
    • Indeed, many of them make some very convenient excuses for their respective situations.

  • pooper89
    Yes I agree. Thanks for posting this.
  • sensible27
    Marked for later read.
  • happy122
    I agree
  • vasilias
    Never been intimidated
  • Anonymous
    yes it can be hard for us to look at things objectively, the other girl was probably just trying to protect her friend's self-esteem, but in the long run that can lead to bad habits, better to just admit the truth and grow from there
  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous
    Okay, I guess most guys don’t find me attractive... Thanks
  • Anonymous
    Women just say that stuff to boost their own egos
    • I know. It's sad.

    • Anonymous

      Men just gotta keep ignoring those women we don’t want those sTrOnG iNdEpEnDeNt women anyways they are annoying