Hello everyone! This is just a take on a topic that I personally struggle with. I'm currently working on my confidence and self esteem so these are some things I have reflected on and find very toxic and halting to your progress and your confidence. Of course this can also apply to men but I'm writing this from a more personal perspective.
Now this is something I really struggle with(I'm working on it through). Now occasionally gossip is fine within limits of course, for example with harmless topics that don't involve other people. However when you constantly gossip and talk crap about other people, especially other women, it really shows weak character and insecurity. No confident and content person ever has a reason to constantly talk about other people. I understand it can also be fun sometimes but it's not worth it! It's okay to think critically and maybe point out the mistakes in other people's choices but there's no need to talk about it all the time, judge others for things they can't control or if it's highly subjective thing then no need to judge it as if it's a fact.
2. Make fun of other women
This one really grinds my gears! I will admit, I sometimes make fun of other people in private and think it's funny. But it's usually something within their control (clothing, hairstyle choices etc). Still a bad and very toxic thing to do!
The very bad type though is when you're constantly making fun of other girls especially to their face. I see girls at my university doing this and thinking they're better than the other girls just because they dress nicer or put on cuter makeup. But what's the point? If you're happy with how you look and what you do, why even look at others in such a judgmental way and try and dictate how they should look? Just because it's your way doesn't mean it's the only way, doesn't mean it's the right way.
3. Project her insecurities
This might be a tough one because sometimes we don't even realize it. However on other occasions it's pretty obvious and you can think before you speak. For example recently I was talking to an acquaintance of mine from uni about my fitness goals for the next year or so and I was joking but also seriously addressing how I've been binging lately. She made fun of me and said I'm going to gain weight and be fat like I used to. She also is very jealous of the fact that many people know who I am because of my academic achievements and often tells me I'd be a nobody if it weren't for them. While I understand she is insecure about being skinny or unpopular, this is something very much within her control to not say.
I sometimes find myself jealous of someone else's nose or so and feel like making a little comment then I hold myself back and say 'is it really worth it? This is just pure projection. It will just show how petty and insecure I am and I'd rather not be like that' and I keep my mouth shut. It's very important to realize your own toxic ways and stop yourself from making such mistakes.
4. Try to control other women
Constantly telling your female friends how they should act or dress or put on makeup or date and so on is a very toxic thing to do! You can give reasonable advice, sure, but be careful about trying to constantly be in control of other women's choices. Accept other women for who they are and shower them with positivity and respect.
I hope you enjoyed this short mytake. Remember ladies, being confident means being strong, resilient, accepting, nurturing and content with who you are at your core 100%. When you surround yourself with other like-minded confident women, you feel empowered and filled with a lot of positive energy.
Hope this also helps other women out there!