Guys, Pointers For Single Men!

[anon1903]

Are you too nervous to ask a woman out? Do you wonder why there's no second date in order? Do you feel you're unfairly judged by women?

Well, here are some pointers to take care of! These are the traits of a man women would like to talk to, or be friends with, or even be seduced by! Or for dating. Shrugs.

1 sincerity

I'm sure you'd have seen it at least once that one of your boring colleagues has a hot date... But you don't. Or the hot guy in bar, who was hitting on one woman and took her cute friend home. Why? Because they appear sincere! Women don't care about good and bad — they care if you look sincere! Lots would sleep around if they knew you were harmless and confident. And if slut shaming wasn't a thing. The easiest way to do this is become friends first, but because most of you all end up in the zone, so I'll highly NOT recommend it. You can start by expressing your emotions a little more, as it makes a person more predictable and lively.

2 playfulness

Every woman wants to laugh. Doesn't matter who it comes from - father, brother, best friend, fuck buddy or boyfriend - when a woman hits rock bottom, she keeps sinking. She wants a man to reach out. The less curt and tight lipped you are, the more you are bound to make mistakes in conversation, and forced to learn.

3 self control

Sleeping around isn't an attractive trait. Lucky for you, a woman's mind tends to romantisize ANYTHING. So it's important to display your self esteem — because, that's attractive, attractive is natural order of things and that folks, is destiny. Whatever you kids call it these days. Just remember, to take things slow even if you know the woman you met at bar is more than willing and be sharp enough to carpe diem, because you're only human — moment of weakness is expected. You can also emphasis this by having friends of opposite gender that have no romantic / sexual past / present / future with. It means you're self sufficient, you may possibly value yourself. Corny? Yes. Next time she flirts with you, smile momentarily and do not compliment her back. Resistance is charming, used appropriately.

4 assertiveness

Male gaze may be unpleasant in theory and such, but we're suckers for it. You can do so by enjoying yourself but also looking out for others. Emphasis kindness. Pull a milder version of "I couldn't help but notice such a beautiful woman sitting here all by herself. Alone." All women know that line is BS. Also, may I suggest to not ogle, just glance? I know you guys love a little skin but seriously — a creep is an automatic no.

5 value match

Which is different for every woman. If you want a girlfriend, this one is the most important one.

Find somebody with similar values. It's the foundation of a smooth relationship!

Xoxo anon1903

PS. This take covers psychological side of a Man's desirability / dateabilty. I'm gonna write an alternate physical side of it soon! Uwu

[FakeNIK]

Thanks, I'll keep that in my mind

[Vegasrunner]

@FakeNIK Rule #1 of any successful man. Never ever take relationship advice from women.

[anon1903]

😆😆😆😆😆😆

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner why are you here then, wise man?

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 Excellent question. I've always been fascinated by gender roles in relationships. One of my degrees is in sociology and my emphasis was Gender study so I spent years surveying men and women about relationships and always wondered what would happen if men could speak honestly about how they really view women. Then I stumbled on this platform about a year ago and have enjoyed reading the various views. HBU?

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner one of my friends was recently asking me about stuff. He wants a girlfriend but he gets terribly nervous. That's why I wrote this. Most points are a push to guys like him.

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 Gotcha. But the fact that:
1. He's your friend
2. He's asking a female for relationship advice
Literally proves my point. As long as he's doing those things he'll remain a failure w/ women. You dont see the irony in this?

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner I'm afraid I don't.

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner I'm his online friend. in my opinion, it's a bad idea to date someone online.

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 Your friend who you are portraying as unsuccessful w/ women is coming to you for advice about women which based on my hypothesis only makes you unsuccessful w/ women. Essentially you just providing another example of why guys shouldn't go to women for relationship advice.

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner uh ok

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 I understand. Unfortunately he's playing directly into your belief. It makes sense why you would share this POV because your interaction online is w/ a guy who has admitted to be unsuccessful w/ women. I'm guessing that if you gave him the slightest hint that you liked him he would jump at the opportunity to try to meet you.

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner I'm bisexual. Meaning I've had my fair share of nervousness with women. Do you still think it's error in his judgement to trust mine?

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 That's not to say you shouldn't provide advice, I just am under the belief that women dont really understand the male POV enough to give good relationship advice to men.

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner And men don't understand women enough for them to consider a hookup or relationship with them :)

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 It changes it a little because you have actually had to deal w/ women.

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 Most men dont. However thats why 20% of the men get about 90% of women. I'm in that 20% and have only associated w/ other guys in the 20% for my entire life. One of the other reasons why I'm on this site is because I was always curious what the other 80% of guys POV was. In reality and being bisexual you may understand this, it's really easy to understand women if you date a lot of them unfortunately we rarely get to hear from the 20% because most guys that people deem as successful w/ women can't publically say what they want w/o risk of being cancelled so we really only hear from either all women or the 80% of men complaining that they can't get laid. That's why when a man post on a site like this people instantly revert to shaming language. Think about it. If whomever was the biggest male sex symbol came out on national TY and said he bangs a different women every night he would be criticized unmercifully and probably loose his career however we all understand that he bangs a different chick every night.

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner because, seduction is one sided. Mostly women don't share their secrets about it. But that's a take for another time.

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner in all honesty, I think it depends on the person and not the gender. Like one of my player friends told me — ignore guys and they'd chase you more. That's true, if done well. Otherwise it's bs, especially if I want a relationship.

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 See that's false. Women will gladly share their secrets about seduction if you understand rule number 3. Once you have a women in her feelings about you she'll do anything you want including sharing secrets of seduction problem most guys have is they never get a women in their feelings and when they do their so scared to loose them they never use them for information. I literally have women that I bang and then spend hours talking w/ them about how I can be attractive to other women.

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner uh ok...

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 The 80% will chase but I've never chased a women and 20% men dont have to chase. Reality is chasing implies someone is running away from you. What successful men do is focus on improving themselves which forces women to be attracted to you. I'll give you a great example, this weekend at one of my events we employed several local college girls to work the tables. I'm in my 40's these girls are 18-24. On day 1 I'm an old man that's mostly invisible to them by day 2 they see everyone differing to me and start realizing I have some authority by Day 3 they figured out I sign the check on day 4 one of them asked me out. I was the same guy all four days however the power dynamic changed in their eyes and turned into attraction.

[anon1903]

@Vegasrunner I'm afraid you're being sexist even in terms w seduction. Adios.

[Mantis_Toboggan]

@Vegasrunner
I dig your style. I agree that a woman (Not Professionally) based on personal experience alone, would not be able to make sense to a man because different sexes behave differently in similar situations. I view it like taking advice on your slap shot from the goalie. It may help some but there won't be any epiphany.

As for Vegas you're a smart guy but being a psychopath is no fun. Keep being the Rickest Rick.

[European4Ever]

Is your take for America or also other countries? I am in "other countries" category. Would you think cold approaching is a good way to meet girls?

[Deku2009]

Extremely helpful thanks

[rob119]

One person's opinion. Written from a very traditional point of view in my opinion. If someone "doesn't care about good and bad", no thanks. This is written from the point of view that the onus is entirely on men to initiate anything. Plenty of women take the initiative, that's social equality.

If someone has "hit rock bottom" if written from a man's perspective, you'd see "we aren't your therapists". So, don't expect a man to "reach out". If someone's at rock bottom they should go to therapy. As well as confide in a trusted friend they already know.

"The easiest way to do this is become friends first, but because most of you all end up in the zone, so I'll highly NOT recommend it." Sounds contradictory to me. If a relationship is what you're after, being friends first is ideal. I don't subscribe to this "you'll wind up on the friend zone" theory.

But I do agree with much of it as well. Men need to say "no", they need to be selective, and proudly not be led by their libidos- and ANY man can make the choice to do just that. Don't date someone just because they're attractive, if they aren't genuinely kind don't give them the time of day. All this stuff about men being "men" is purely social construct.

[DWornock]

Everything the OP stated should be taken with a grain of salt. Acceptance by women is almost 100% about looks, money, and status. Although it sometimes happens, typically girls don't turn down movie stars but 100% of pretty girls reject average looking guys unless they have money or high status. You will be rejected 100% of the time If you look like the following which is close to average.

Average young man

[DWornock]

Of course, big girls and unattractive girls will date him because they can't do better.

[mantelk]

Do you think you are attractive?

[mantelk]

If you got a good vibe girls will like you.

[anon1903]

@DWornock did you not read this is only part one

[DWornock]

I may have read it but I didn't remember it. It will not change my opinion much other than the fact that if looks, money, and other factors are equal, obviously the psychological aspects makes a difference.

[rob119]

You're both blaming women for not wanting to date "average guys" and in the same sentence talking about "big and unattractive girls". Do a little introspection here. Do you think you owe it to someone to date them even if you're not attracted to them? Conversely, does someone owe you attention even if they aren't attracted to you? Ask yourself if you've ever rejected someone.

[rob119]

You know, what's holding you back is entirely your attitude. Unless that's not your profile photo (not talking about the one you posted here) you're FAR from unattractive, AND you have a degree in electrical engineering.

You're saying some of the same things incels say, you're totally generalizing / stereotyping women and in a very negative way, and as long as you're doing that no one will want to talk to you. You're also placing too much value on women's looks when you say things like "100% of pretty girls reject average looking guys", without even mentioning personality and character. That is also not attractive.

Do you not realize that many good looking men, or men period, also reject those they aren't attracted to?

Everyone already knows most of us need to feel some attraction in order to be more than friends, but when you bring it up I think it often sets up a red flag.

If I were you, I would read the Wikipedia article about "incels" as well as "femcels", maybe research entitlement, and also go to therapy. It sounds to me as if you're blaming women for a lack of dating success, when I think most of it is you.

I have at times felt like at least some women weren't being fair at all, because while being staunch feminists, they still hold men to traditional gender roles. It helps to realize that ultimately it traces back to sexist patriarchal roots and that was created by men. Yes some apply double standards. Anyone can be unfair regardless of gender. But look at all the double standards men apply to women, and from what I've seen here, many men if not the majority are advocating very sexist traditional values, even right here in this thread. And yes I'm also a staunch feminist (or trying to be, I didn't keep up for a few years and having to learn some new things)

[DWornock]

@rob119 I don't blame people for having preferences. Furthermore, I may not be politically correct using the term big girl and apparently you choose to be politically correct. Of course, that is your right and it is what the majority does. Therefore, what I say may make my opinion a minority opinion. Nevertheless, I am convinced that what I said is factually correct. And, although I would rather that my opinions not be the minority opinions, I will still state what I believe to be the truth.

[rob119]

Look, the bottom line is this- you say that looks status and money are the reasons you can't date? That's ridiculous for two reasons- 1) most women don't think this way 2) you already HAVE those things. Also don't complain about looks being the issue when what you indicate you want is a "pretty" woman, this means you're no different.

There are places online where you could go, and as long as you were polite, you'd get compliments- flirted with, and even hit on.

If you want to date successfully, go to therapy. You can start by screen shotting all of this as well as other online interactions, and bringing that with you to discuss.

Many people even conventionally attractive women can struggle to date. And before you dismiss what I say, consider that I am of low socio-economic status, am shy, and yet not only have I dated, I've had some flattering things said to me from time to time.

If you want to be lonely, then keep on doing exactly what you're doing.

[mantelk]

These pointers are my natural characteristics but have you ever thought that today's women are undeserving? I'd give the whole world to a woman who loves and want nothing. I'd rather die than give rat shit to entitled women. Men are fed up with you.

[anon1903]

This take is written for single men who want to find heterosexual dates. From what you said, this is definitely something you don't need. Kindly see yourself out.

[mantelk]

Lol what? What would make you assume I am not hetherosexual?

[anon1903]

Your "I hate women" talk lmao

[mantelk]

You will not find a man that loves women more than me. Perhaps you should deepen your perception and understanding to know what I am saying. I want women to become ladies again instead of whores. it benefits perverts for women to be like this. But it leaves the romeos of the world all alone and its a shame.

[anon1903]

Yes, a women lover who s1ut sh9mes. Yeah right.

[mantelk]

Slut shame is a term you people invented. Be as permiscuous as you want with your man in your bed. But dont be sucking 10 dicks and talking about it. I dont respect men who talk about this shit neither. Neither is impressive. Love and respect should come before sex.

[anon1903]

You mind your own business

[mantelk]

I would like to treat women with respect. If I had a daughter thats how id like her to be treated too. Its not your fault. It is the toxic backwards American culture

[anon1903]

I don't sleep around either, doesn't mean I judge men who do. Because, dun dun dun, it's their life choices not mine!

[mantelk]

Men used to be honorable, women used to be graceful. All aesthetics have been destroyed. Porno has a lot to do with it. Sex between people who love eachother is a beautiful sacred orgasmic blissfullness. but nowadays girls prefer to be borderline raped

[anon1903]

1. That's your traditional views. Don't impose them on everyone.

2. Yes, porn does destroy eroticism.

3. It's not just women who want to be dominated. I've at least two friends on this site who asked me if as a domme, I was okay with their r9pe fantasies.

[anon1903]

Speaking of older times, I'm a huge fan of ballroom dancing. I consider it ideal. But I don't go on shit talking about hip-hop. I just say it's not my type.

[mantelk]

You dont understand. Our culture today is deprived of honesty, humility and integrity and it will slowly destroy everything. All for the sake of money and power. But you do you

[anon1903]

Don't preach

[Lookingforthetruth]

@mantelk This whole take was use to stroke her ego and make herself feel important. She will not take kindly to constructive criticism from the very people she claims she is trying to help or hear how dating is actually from a man perspective. A woman can never relate to the male's struggle in dating because she is a woman, things are vastly easy for her.

[mantelk]

@Lookingforthetruth Maybe bachelor life is better. Women just stand and judge and decide. Man has to do all the work. That's why these girls get played. The only way to be what they are looking for is to take it or be a sociopath. Some of these women you show the slightest weakness or insecurity they turn into cruel monsters. It's pathetic. Who wants to be with these girls? It's a nightmare.

[mantelk]

Fake it*

[anon1903]

Indeed. Girls are nightmares. Why the hell are you here with that opinion?

[anon1903]

@Lookingforthetruth As far as constructive criticism goes, he just said dating women isn't worth it. And I graciously accepted it. How's that my fault? :D

[mantelk]

Dating today's western women is not worth it

[anon1903]

Then date men.

[mantelk]

I am not attracted to men. I dont need to date anyone. Ud be surprised how fullfilling single life actually is. And not all women are like what I mentioned. Mostly priveledged western women are more like that. Stop calling people gay everytime you have nothing to say back

[Lookingforthetruth]

@mantelk that's western woman answer for when you won't put up with their bs is to rewire your sexuality and start batting for the other team.

[anon1903]

I didn't call you gay. I just said you can have a better date with men.

[anon1903]

@Lookingforthetruth I'm indian haha

[anon1903]

@mantelk its good to be single. Just stop shit talking womrn and id believe you're truly happy in your single life.

[mantelk]

You sound pretty Western to me. Its not about race. Its about attitude. And why would a hetherosexual date a guy. What are you talking about? My aim isn't shit talking, I am honestly telling you how most men feel.

[mantelk]

A man will want the moon and the sun revolve around a woman who isn't selfish and greedy and priveledged. But a woman who is that way men dont respect them

[anon1903]

Lol ok

[rob119]

Even if there were SOME truth in that, people are individuals and you just generalized and insulted all women. No different than when someone says that about "today's men".

[mantelk]

@rob119 I'd say a lot of today's men are same. Generalization is when you take action of a few and claim it to be a majority. When you take the actual action of majority it is called fact and truth.

[Lookingforthetruth]

@rob119 Simp. Simp. Simp detected.

[mantelk]

@Lookingforthetruth who? Me?

[Lookingforthetruth]

no. rob119.

[rob119]

I'd really like to see your definition of what makes a woman "selfish greedy and privileged."

[rob119]

"dating today's western women is not worth it" yeahhhh, this just sounds like code for "I want a nice old fashioned submissive woman from a part of the world where women still tolerate a lot of crap because they have no choice/don't know better"

[rob119]

These men are the "same" as what exactly?

[rob119]

@Lookingforthetruth When a man calls another man a simp... it's a pretty sure sign he subscribes to MRA groups and the likes of MGTOW. They're the ones who use this kind of language.

Seriously, the only times I'm a little irritated is when some women forget to use qualifiers and say things like "men are dogs" "men don't" "Men always" "men refuse to". But I also try to remember that mostly if you were to ask if they really meant "al men" they'll likely say they don't. I'm totally okay with "every man I've ever known" or "most men" because guess what, that's true. As long as admission is made or implied that I, as a man, am also an individual and it isn't ASSUMED that I'm guilty of any said behavior purely because of my gender.

OTOH not all sharks bite- so would you go swimming with sharks? So, along those lines women have to be careful about wading into a pool of sharks. We men need to respect that and not take offense.

Yes, some women will scream for feminism and equality, while still holding men up to traditional gender roles such as provider, protector, initiator of any romantic communication. Social equality is changing more slowly, but gee, I kinda think things like institutionalized sexual assault, women losing the rights to choose what happens to their own bodies (in the U. S.) kinda are more important over who asks who to dinner and who pays. Plus, there ARE many women who are starting to do this.

Feminism benefits MEN as well! I'm really sorry you guys can't see that.

You know what, any one of any gender, who simply says "I'm having a really hard time getting dates, and I really want to love and be loved some day" as nicely as that- my heart goes out to them and I believe they do deserve compassion.

But when you guys start acting like a freaking bunch of incels I start to lose patience. Y'all need to stop being so disrespectful.

[Lookingforthetruth]

@rob119 lol no Rob. Men in general are calling out other men as simps. Hell, the term simp has become so popular that they use it commonly on twitch to call out any males showing pathetic behavior of female worship/white knighting.

The only benefit feminism has done was identify which women to avoid for long term relationship. Any woman who identifies with that misandrist movement is not marriage material.

[mantelk]

@rob119 We hold beliefs based on real life experience, not disceptive analysis and they reflect the views of most men today. There is no substance behind your words. It's just an essay you wrote to talk about points of your thesis.

[anon1903]

So let me get this straight.. any men who doesn't hold himself above women is a simp? Yep, that sounds like your definition.

[mantelk]

Men love and respect women naturally. It is today's women that sleep around with 10s of men that men don't respect. And they shouldn't.

[anon1903]

Women don't sleep around with women. Which means men are equally at fault. You're bloody sexist for holding women liable alone.

[mantelk]

No I blame men too

[Lookingforthetruth]

@anon1903 retarded logic. Lesbians exist.

The vast majority of women are following this playbook today and guys are noticing it even though many won't come out and say it in public.

1. Spend youth chasing top 20% of males and sleep around with them

2. Approaching 30's or a little bit past 30 and get a male who she does not really love but is using for a retirement plan to wife her up and take care of her.

3. Eventually get bored of said male due to no actual sexual attraction and go back on CC to chase men while using said male's money.

4. May choose to get married again once bored of CC

5. Rinse repeat until nursing home.

[mantelk]

I mostly blame perverted culture less America

[anon1903]

@Lookingforthetruth so you're bitter because you aren't the top 20% lol?

Also, if majority of women were bisexual or lesbians, I might actually have had a good time at girl's College.

[Lookingforthetruth]

@anon1903 Go to female playbook strategy right here to call men either bitter or incels for pointing out the reality of dating and their strategy.

[KennethNoisewater]

@all three or four of you turds, this argument is embarrassing on all sides. But first, especially after reading through all this, @mantelk let's be clear, you don't speak for all men. I get a lot of what your saying but a lot of it is garbage too. I didn't grow up in a household where you had to stop what you are doing because you thought you heard a female 2 blocks away that needs her car door opened for her. Females were humans that can do shit if they need it done. Let them be accountable for their own shit. But you must treat them with respect. I feel a lot of things you said could have been worded a bit different and you could have got respect shown back to you when she responded. But she came back with what you gave her.

The next dude, I didn't even bother remembering your name because your "simp, simp, simp" BS. I will be 100% honest with you, I have no idea what that even means but I've noticed a certain kind of dude that uses it. Your like a Ed Hardy wearing MF'er, aren't you? I bet you are. GTFO with that simp BS. Wait, I bet you talk about "rearranging guts" too. Am I right? Dumb.

@The other dude that got call "simp". I was gonna stick up for you at one point but you started talking dumb too. Excuse my french here but you started talking like a bitch. And I don't mean a female so no offense to any females reading this. I am not talking about you in anyway. All I'm saying is you can stick up for a female all you want. Sometimes it's a good thing to do. But do it with some self respect. Don't sell yourself out. You may have sounded like a simp for all I know. But I don't know what it even means.

@anon1909 you know what you're doing. It's your post. Do whatever you want. It's yours. But this will be the outcome Everytime. But you already know that. But with all this stuff past us and the reason I even started reading all this, I have a very important question. Is that you in that picture?

[Kaamraj]

Most men are invisible to most women, in other words the average man is invisible to the average woman, so the best thing a man can do is not play this game where all the rules are stacked against him. Remember rules are made for the average (most) men and broken for the elite few. So my advice for the average man would be to work on themselves, get your education, trade, improve your money and standing in society and let the game work for you.

[Moose304]

One thing I have told young men time and time again is to stop trying to be something you are not. Just go hang out with your friends and enjoy the time together. Time and time again I have personally seen where the ladies gravitate to these situations. This past fall I attended the wedding of a couple that met in a sports bar after a dart game. Just started talking and then they started dating. Neither put pressure on the other and hopefully the relationship will last.

[exitseven]

I always thought that being sincere was the kiss of death. Girls would rather have some guy just lying his ass off telling her whatever he thought she wanted to hear. When I was sincere it always went downhill.

[anon1903]

Do you have a girlfriend?

[exitseven]

I am married so I'm not interested.

[exitseven]

@anon1903 sorry, that was my lame attempt at humor. Yes, I am married but I had a few girlfriends before I go married. Most of the time when I was sincere about my feelings it usually scared them away.

[anon1903]

I see

[userxvi]

Be healthy and in decent enough shape, smell and dress nice, have your life together, be yourself and FUCK THE HATERS

[anon1903]

You summed up part 2 of this take haha. Cheers!

[rob119]

I don't see the correlation between this and step 2. Er, also "have your life together" vs "hit rock bottom"? I don't see how having your life together materially / financially is relevant, just as long as you're not an emotional wreck. For that matter, hmm, how are we defining "healthy" and "in decent enough shape"?

[anon1903]

@rob119 good question. It'd be answered in part two

[Guy13]

Great advice and written so that a man can easily interpret and apply.

[Vegasrunner]

This is terrible advice. Best advice you can give to all men when it comes to women is very simple.

1. Maintain an abundance mentality
2. Focus on increasing wealth and obtaining assets
3. Understand that the only thing thatatters to women is how they "feel" learn how to use that to your advantage.

[anon1903]

You make us sound like government officers or something

[Vegasrunner]

@anon1903 I dont know what that is but TY for sharing.

[DeadlyCreed]

Problem with being sincere is, if she breaks you’re heart she gets really vicious and makes fun of who you really are without regards for you, but then again that would be a good girlfriend anyway ig

[anon1903]

I think you're talking about a very specific lady here.

[DeadlyCreed]

I know