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Why Women Are Attracted To Bad Boys (Page 2)
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Honestly, stupid girls want bad boys. Then these girls are surpirsed to find that the bad boy treats yhem poorly or even hits them. A gril who goes through bad times and gets a shot at a good guy will grab onto him and never let go, because she knows the difference. I am no angel but I think that is what happened with my wife and I.
Everyone reduces men to either being a "bad boy" or a "nice guy" - honestly it's more complicated than that. A guy can be mysterious and confident and challenging without actually being an asshole. Most girls WANT a nice guy, but they want someone who is GENUINELY nice. And the "nice guys" that they reject are guys that are too shy for them, or not interesting enough. You have to be more than just "nice."
So when girls can't find the nice guy they WANT, that's when the assholes fill in the gap.
How ironic, fill a hole with... another hole.
Just because a guy is shy doesn't mean he isn't genuinely nice. Most nice guys are genuinely nice and most women know that, that is why most of them end up marrying these guys they judged earlier on in life.
@This_guy_here yes, some women end up with an asshole because they can't find the nice guy they want, other women go with a "bad boy" type who isn't actually an asshole, he just rides a motorcycle and is mysterious. I was trying to say "bad boy type" does not equal "asshole" all the time.
@ManuelMarquez I didn't mean to say ALL nice guys are shy, quite the opposite. I was trying to say that you can't generalize and you can't reduce men to 2 simple categories. Of course there are shy people who are nice. Of course there are shy people who are mean. My point is, if a girl rejects a nice guy, it doesn't mean that she hates ALL nice guys. It just means that this nice guy wasn't right for her, possibly because he's shy, or whatever. Any person who thinks they are being rejected because they are "too nice" probably isn't genuinely nice. People are rejected for other reasons, like too shy, or too loud, or too obnoxious, or too emotionally closed off, etc.
I understand your point and I completely agree. There's definitely more to it than that. Here I aways you my personal mho.
I'll tag these guys for you too
@This_guy_here
@ManuelMarquez
Thanks @Michael_Rc46
Actually you CAN reduce guys to just two broad categories! The guys who truly care about you and those who truly don't! If more girls were smart enough to do this, the situation would be much better! But that would require REAL WISDOM that very few females possess!
Ok, cool, I don't care whether you like bad boys or not, but when they break your hurt, please, don't come crying complaining how guys are assholes and all that. You chose to be with a bad boy, you knew the consequences, stop crying like a little baby when reality knocks on the door.
I'm tired of girls trying to justify why they like bad boys, and then cry when that same guy hurts her.
I don't care what you like, just leave us alone when you're relationship falls apart.
This ^ A fucking men
To be honest, I won't bother giving a crap for someone who willingly chooses the bad over the good, may or may not be my crush. Instead I believe they deserve to get their heart broken & they definitely don't deserve my attention. You will keep dating the bad guys because that's what you really like, the wickedness & in the end when you get some brain & realize that you need economy to survive you will settle in for the good guy. Well, no shit!! I would rather live alone than be with someone with such a disgusting mentality.
No offence.
[Side fact] Girls who like bad boys are never really happy when they're with good guys, they stay because of economy but their mind is somewhere else, they never mature enough and they tend to cheat on their partner more.
One of the biggest things to breed male violence is the message we are bombarded with: "It is better to be evil than to be weak".
Suddenly, a man who feels weak because he is, perhaps too cooperative, can point weapons and feel a jolt of power. "Now they respect me, because they fear me." Says the likes of Elliot Rodgers and James Eagan Holmes. But hey, at least they weren't weak, right? Gotta love them bad boys.
A woman can be socially-awkward and it's cute. Poor, and it makes people want to help. Sad, and it makes people want to be there.
People turn pull out the pepper spray when it is men who are socially-awkward. "Who would want to date you" when it's a man who is poor. "I want to date a man, not a pu**y" when it's a man who is sad.
pretty good, would change it to jerk or asshole though, doesn't have to be guns, but just words and actions that make a guy the bad boy.
Ladies just don't forget that 9/10 your bad boy , doesn't really care about you and is not into you all that much. He get's the biggest Ego rush from making/watching/listening to you suffer with your out of control emotions you will develop for him and he's always looking for his next playgirl. Because eventually he will get bored with you. IJS, bad boys aren't worth it!
Wow you gat damn right but let me add something else
When the girls finally succed in changing the bad guy into a loving one
They dump the bad boy
Any way im a (real) goodguy and i won't change if no like me :)
I think the whole bad boy attraction thing should all be put to rest once we leave high school. If you want to go for a typical "bad boy" after high school you're looking at someone who is irresponsible, dependent, and selfish. Although they are attractive at first, the least attractive thing a guy can do is play games (which is why girls are so excited by the chase and mystery). I'd date the intelligent dorky guy over the bad boy any day!
"... the least attractive thing a guy can do is play games (which is why girls are so excited by the chase and mystery)."
What you're saying seems inconsistent, if it excites girls so much how can you deem it the least attractive thing a guy can do?
I was saying in my opinion, not other girls. I find it unattractive, but many others find it appealing.
Oh right, so it's quite unattractive to you, but you recognise it as something other girls find appealing?
Exactly. I didn't word it as clearly as I should have. Haha
This is so true. Once I got to college, I was only attracted to the guys who knew what they wanted and were doing well on their own.
@Kiwedin What if a guy didn't know what he wanted or he had two choices? Would that still be alright?
I've never be attracted to "bad" guys. I've always preferred the nice, nerdy (but cute) guys :P
The guys I've dated, however, alwayss happende to transfor into "bad" guys, for whatever reason.
initially nice, then assholes - and that's what makes us girls confused
@labellaprincesa Okay sure, they just somehow magically transform. Why is your attraction so black and white? It's either some wimpy coward or a sadistic thug? There is no middle ground for you?
I think part of the reason why we have a bunch of whiny "nice guys" is due to societal pressures and misinformation and portrayal in the media.
You'll always hear the media, parents, and even women say how women want a guy who's super nice, caring and will do anything for them and that's what a guy should do in order to get a girl. That couldn't be anymore wrong. All this does is make a guy clingy, desperate and disingenuous to the point where they think getting women isn't step by step transaction. Now there's nothing wrong with being genuinely nice and unfortunately genuinely nice guys get lumped in with fake nice guys. It's ok to be genuinely nice, as long as you be yourself and are funny and have an interesting personality. Going by the logic of girls on, y date assholes would mean every guy in a relationship or who's ever had a girl would be an asshole or bad boy.
Now regarding the societal pressures, it's about how guys are expected to get laid or have a women or else they're a loser. Truth he told, a persons dating/sex life or lack of doesn't define a person. Being a late bloomer myself, I've come to learn that dating and sex isn't the key to happiness. You have to be happy with yourself before you can date someone. Relying on love or sex to be happy only causes dependency issues as well as neediness.
I also think that guys and girls teasing other guys for lack of success in dating and sex makes inexperienced guys situation worse. It makes them feel like their life isn't complete until they're getting laid or in a relationship. This only lowers their self esteem and confidence and cause them to put too much focus on getting laid and a date which is counterproductive. They're too focused on winning a girl, that they might screw up.
This isn't to discourage guys from trying of course, but point being is there's more to life than getting laid
this... y u anon, preach more!
Yeah while having friends and a love life is important, we shouldn't put too much of an emphasis on it to the point where a person's only happy if they're with a guy/girl.
That being said, there are some issues I've had where some women will show a ton of interest and chase me for awhile but then the moment i show any interest back, even subtle, they back off and act like I'm needy and clingy which is bullshit. It's like where do you draw the line on when it's ok to show interest back.
Lol most 'bad boys' are really just dirtbags, they work dead end jobs and live to get drunk and high and fuck girls... On the other hand it's kind of nice they chase bad boys. It's like a big sign that says "I am undesirable"
but that's like, omg so hot.
Self-proclaimed bad boy here, you forgot one, we are risk takers and as such we win big or fall big either one is incredible to watch, and a blast while the ride lasts! Also a note about the "challenge" that's why most girls lost their bad boy in the first place, trying to change them too much. One thing about bad boys is we are really self aware and know who we are and where we want to be, and trying to change that will put them off.
All those things are stereotypes and does not determine the personality of non bad boys. If you don't respect yourself and would rather have a man who beats you and disrespects you, I'm sorry but your dead wrong. I wouldn't want to be with that kind of woman anyway.
Dating a "bad boy" isn't the same as dating someone who's abusive. I dated a "bad boy" and he treated me really well, he just had a problem with authority and was dyslexic so school was very difficult for him.
Most of my close friends that are jerks and or "bad guys" (I've been labeled that way occasionally) have it occur naturally as a form of confidence, but then choose to utilize that confidence into something women often find attractive. To a certain level, all people (both men and women included) seek attention and approval. Jerks/players often don't given others the approval they desperately seek, so those who are victims try harder to prove their worth to the jerks and are attracted to the behaviors. Although the behavior is looked down upon, it definitely comes both naturally and artificially
So why do I like reckless women, as well as shy girls? They're polar opposites of each other. I guess one is constantly in harm's way, quelling any doubts I have that I'm needed because she obviously needs somebody to watch her back what with all her crazy stunts. And the other is afraid of things that don't exist, and needs a man who will inspire and enlighten her to come out of hiding more.
yep, this kind of guy is confident and sure of himself and that is what is attractive, the "nice guys” that constantly whine and complain about how this guy supposedly gets all the women are more than often the most insecure, clingy and confidence lacking guys there are. I know this because I used to be one of those "nice guys” It’s easy for them to put the blame on the "bad boy” instead of their own behaviors as to why women aren’t taking an interest in them.
I have a friend who is so much into bad boys that she can't find the right guy and always ends up single and heart broken. Most girls do dream about the bad guy but I think they just want the man who's confident and who happen to be nice to her.
I know I'm into nice guys with the balls of a bad guy if that makes sense
Bad boys are great IN FICTION. Any girl who wants this in real life is stupid, and any man who thinks most women want a bad boy in real life is just as stupid.
@ras144 So can we agree that women want a guy who is just confident in who he is as a person and nothing more? Like how I'm being right now. Not aggressive but just assertive. Is that enough for you?
You know at least 3 out of the 4 aspects you've mentioned are not exclusive with bad boys right? Shy guys also present these challenges but girls don't mention that because bad boys are easier to obtain than shy guys. Even with sex bad boys aren't assured to be better in bed. I have no idea where that stereotype came from. I feel like Takes like these are just an excuse for girls to show why they go for bad boys. People accuse nice/good guys of being too insecure. Bad boys are just as insecure too but show it in different ways. But girls are just too proud to admit they go for guys who are beneath them.
I'll add to this discussion with same in-depth and understanding that has been presented so far.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcNSxCchW1MI mean come on that's some great sax.
Looking back, I can certainly say that I was one to be "problem" girls (whether or not you consider that "bad" depends on your definition, I don't). Long story short, there's nothing quite like that incessant urge to have the affections you feel for someone else reciprocated.