Women and Common Courtesy

[desionnach1232]

As a man who would die for anyone, even one of my enemies through my religion and my beliefs. I find it as if I am born in a world without enough "thank you"s and gestures of thanks... Now I live in Canada and there is still some people who would rather get the snot beaten from them than say thank you.

A few weeks ago I had my eye on this beautiful girl. Her and I were quite good friends and I thought I could get her to give me a chance if I could prove my worth (something usually simple for a man from my family). She called me up and told me she was drunk and wanted to hangout. So my gentleman senses kicked in and I ran to her as fast I could, just to make sure she did not get into any trouble. The police got called on her before I got there so I used my training to conceal her and carried her half way to her house. The rest of the way I gave her my shoes as hers fell off. I tucked her into bed gave her a kiss on her forehead before I jumped out her window...."Master Gentleman skills"

Now you would think that common courtesy would kick in when I brought her some coffee the next morning and she would tell me thank you...but girls in my part of Canada, well most of them are used to redneck A-holes. So she got her creep flare out and tossed a shoe at me before calling her exbf and I guess they cuddled.

Now, Girls in where I am from do not find gentlemen or men with my stature attractive. I have done things like this many times (I count 4) and I have never even gotten a "thank you". I take that social media is making men of great ideals out as men who shouldn't be trusted. This has got to change if we are to thrive as a species. But that is my idea...

[Anonymous]

Holy hell. From the first sentence, you sounded like a massive cheese ball. And then all throughout, I could tell you were one of those dudes that takes things that (crazy) girls do to a new level of personal insult.

You're like one big cliche rolled into brewing bitterness and frustration lol

And I know, you're probably going to comment all angry and shit, either defending this stuff and/or assuming I must be a "douchebag", "jerk", or "bad boy". Before you do, realize just how many times you went the white knight route by identifying as a gentleman numerous times.

Of course you're thinking, "but what's wrong with that?"... well besides expecting to be seen as a rare specimen of nobility in the modern world, you're expecting something because you're nice. Being nice and reasonable are just what people are expected to be in society. If you're not, you get scorned. But there's no reward for you being nice.

Also, don't confuse nice with "nice"- the difference being what I mentioned above about ulterior motives. Because a girl is beautiful doesn't mean she's suddenly your perfect catch. If anything, it just shows how your nature and the "douchebag's" nature are exactly the same, the only difference being that you're too ashamed or high-and-mighty to admit it.

This is classic "nice guy" behavior and there are plenty of great resources out there to learn how to recognize it, learn that it's unnatural and forced behavior (not to mention manipulative), and learn how to shed it to be a more natural person. That doesn't mean you have to jump to the other end of the spectrum and if you think in such polarized ways, then it's no wonder you're like this now.

So yeah, you sound like Mr. Nice Guy/Gentleman/Knight/Classy Guy #49879198465987911897465468749

[bubble_tea]

Holy cow. I was raised to say thank you and even I thought this story felt off. He didn't bring her coffee the next morning just to get a thank you. He expected her to say thank you and fall head over heals for him.

[desionnach1232]

I more just brought her coffee because I was wanting to hangout, I just wanted a thank you, and coffee helps with hangovers. I didn't expect more than a thank you

[Opinion Owner]

We both know you were wanting more of a response than a simple "thank you". But you're trying to convince someone (me) that can't be convinced, so you're only trying to fool yourself.

[desionnach1232]

I've been raised by women, I had almost no father figure, so you can judge as you wish. I am not a guy who gets in as many girls pants as possible. And yes I guess I was wanting to her to at least give me a chance but the fact I did not even get a thank you was stupid.

[Opinion Owner]

And I was raised the exact same way as you. What's my excuse then for knowing not to be a doormat or force overly nice behavior?

"And yes I guess I was wanting to her to at least give me a chance"... nooooow we're getting somewhere lol

[ShyLonerGirl813]

Damn dude! go, go, go! #Slayhim #Lol "Don't serve it if you can't take it." ~ Random Wise Person

[RationalLioness]

Aww. I'm sorry. I would have thanked you. Listen, there are many women who are like that... and I can understand why some men feel that being like you isn't worth it.

But you guys are very respected by women like me. I wouldn't use you and toss you aside like garbage. Men like you are very great people.

I would disagree that social media is making noble men to be untrustworthy though. You can tell a noble man from one who is selfish. It's more than their actions. It comes from their beliefs and their personality.

You are very respected so do not ever doubt that. And I thank you four times over for those ungrateful women.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your someone girls can sence you are ready to be used. You will find it to be difficult not to become bitter about that eventually. The sad truth is that many women are not deserving of a noble guy to rescue them. Guys are raised to believe women deep down are caring loving individuals, but just like men, most are selfish and think nothing of using you. Historically women had to rely on men to a great extent, thusly became very adept at finding ways to get what they wanted from men. Society has now changed for the better, and women no longer need to rely on men but still often use men for their own interests and are still very good at doing so. Ironically most woman who continue to do this actually loose respect for the guy they are using because they view him as weak for being easily used and therefore not strong willed enough to be an attractive prospect, just someone to fill in when she can't do better.
As a kind gentleman who would like to lend a hand to those in need, you must be prepared for the fact that many people will take advantage of your helpful nature and will often not appreciate you for it. This will be particularly shitty if you are romantically interested in someone who is like that. You will have to learn to have more of a give and take type attitude if you want to be respected more, or if you don't mind, will have to wait for that rare person who is genuinely appreciative of you and isn't so self interested. You may wait a long time and many women will use you.

[ComDom]

I'll save you a lot of trouble and explain something to you that took me a while to realize: not all people are the same even though they are all people. They have patterns, sure, but they are still unique creatures as individuals. The girl you referenced is probably not worth your time. There are probably better ones out there.

But she's so pretty and perfect... Can't I help her? You may be asking. But unfortunately it's probably unlikely. And even if you could it's doubtfully worth your time because of the sheer number of people in the world. There are many sane males and females out there. Why pursue and possibly reproduce with someone like that? Do you really want more people like her running around?

[Nobodycares]

As someone of roughly the opposite personality, lemme say this...

Your actions are showing obsession over her. She's used to people wanting favours in exchange, she feels incredibly uncomfortable as to how to act towards someone who does them such favours. She's worried she might trip over some social code of conduct in talking with you. So she basically severs any sort of possible ties towards you. Generally, this sort of attitude isn't socially graceful, so she's learned to be rude, and luckily, grows up in a society that accepts that as a way of disconnecting from people they don't want to interact with.

She's of a different personality, and you probably weren't meant for her, unless you're prepared to change your attitude, or be constantly on guard for whatever her perspective would've brought to such a relationship.

[muspelhem_5]

Love this :)

[Afrochick]

"roughly" the opposite sex?

[Nobodycares]

Huh?

[1GuyOpinion]

Bro, don't do nice thing to people only so you expect something in return. You should do it out of the goodness of your heart.

Being too nice will creep people out, they will think you have some ulterior motives.

Saying you would die for anyone? That not being brave, that just you telling the world to take advantage of you.

She will give you a chance if you pass her initial physical attraction test, you don't need to do jack shit. So my guess is in her eyes, you are just some unattractive creepy weirdo being way too nice beyond the call of duty for her, and the pressure on her is way too much for her to handle. She feel unsafe and call her exbf. Tough luck bro.

[SomeOtherGuy]

Morality is a complex subject. Ethics Philosophers like Joseph Fletcher have explored and researched them indepth.

You performed a good deed in part because you wanted to be rewarded for it, either by society or an individual. In this case, you wanted to be rewarded with romance, a relationship, or even just consideration in form of a thank you.
After not receiving that, you probably feel scorned.
This is in line with a child saying "Please mom, please mom, please mom, can I have this candy? I said please!"

A better form of morality, one that would cause you less suffering, would be this.
You helped her because you would want the same done for you. You did your good deed out of duty to the betterment of the human race as an active participant.
The difference would be you wouldn't have stuck around. You'd have left after you performed your good deed, with your things in toe, knowing only that you had done good for someone.
That action is empathy and compassion based.

[dutchpride92]

You sound awesome. I gotta be honest, old-fashioned girls who are appreciative of such things are hard to find. Lots of girls say they love it but seem to not really mean it. More romantic girls will love this, but the problem is most girls I know think romance and chivalry is long gone. I don't know what kind of girls you could be attracted to, but a girl who loves romance can be recognized by the following things (based on experience):
Floral dresses, lots of white and lace, pastel colours
Innocent look
Loves to read, especially Shakespeare and romantic novels set in older times
Can be shy

If you could be attracted to that kind of girl, I'd say it would be ideal. She'll appreciate how you behave very much.

I am quite curious to what your religion is though :)

[beesod]

I agree with you completely, although I still like to believe there are some nice girls out there who appreciate a true gentleman. I am very surprised to hear your findings in Canada, I always thought people from there were very polite.

I think guys have themselves to blame though, we have become ruder (maybe not you and I) but in general and do less things for woman, say please and thank you less ourselves, because of this, woman don't really look for it like they once did, they themselves don't show it in return.. and so begins the circle again.

As a girl said below, just don't do it again. Or carry on and find someone who appreciates it. I know which I will be doing.

[Anonymous]

But why didn't you just ask them why didn't they say thanks? If I'd done all of that for someone, and they didn't at least acknowledge it, I'd ask them why they didn't in a heartbeat... I mean, they'll probably get offended, but I wouldn't care personally.

Anyway, next time around just don't do anything! Like in the 1st situation; the minute you found out the police had been called on her you should've just left... She might've been angry with you, but she should've dealt with that by herself... I don't think she just randomly decided to call you.

[LittleSally]

I think you should move... xD
You seem like a good guy. If everything you do is pure and innocent, just for the sake of helping, then you are truly rare.
I believe one day a girl will appreciate all you do for her. Your task now is to learn to recognize the ungrateful people from the polite and genuine people such as yourself.
Don't settle for a person who doesn't appreciate you. ^-^

Good luck!

[GirlsLie]

I agree that people are just down right rude these days, it's my pet peeve lol

But people saying thank you, shouldn't be the reason for you to do something nice for them or else you're not being genuine. Be nice because it's who you are, when you start doing things with expectations attached with them, you're always going to be disappointed.

Also stop going out of your way for people who don't appreciate you, you only get continually treated how you let someone treat you.

[MaskedSanity]

"I am born in a world without enough "thank you"s and gestures of thanks... Now I live in Canada"

stream1.gifsoup.com/.../glozell-lmao-o.gif

[The_Technomancer]

Gotta say, that is awesome what you did for her. But some people are like that and will abuse your kindness. Just do things out of the kindness of your heart and if people don't really respect that much then get them out of your life and don't worry about them.

[Ped1981]

Just treat a woman like you would a guy. Girls love being let into men's circles. It's not the days of yore anymore where the young helpless maiden needs swept off her feet. They're not made of brittle China and will fall apart if you swear at them or let them get the door themselves. Treating someone as an equal shows respect and if you think women don't notice you doing those things think again. Women have got senses men can only guess at

[rubifen]

Hey dude.

Just accept that youve been programmed to be a White Knight.
After that, CHANGE.

Its like being an alcoholic: you admit you have a problem then you go to rehab.

Dont EVER do that again. Ever.

It gets you nowhere. And a lot (NOT ALL) women not only fail to appreciate it, but have you in utter contempt.

Live and learn.

[Belleza2]

oh dude, I would probably fall in love with you because in all honesty in NYC there is no such thing as a gentleman. I am trying to not give up hope that I will find one and I hope you dont give up hope in finding a girl who will say thank you!

[ShyLonerGirl813]

Same goes for the New Orleans area. Dude, U R AMAZING!!!

[notverycreativeguy]

Mate, people nowadays are just too fucked up, there won't be any change with regard to that.
Just stop being too much of a gentleman, it is not really appropriated. To individual girls, why not, but not in general, it makes you look like someone who can be used.

[Drast]

The whole thing with gentlemen, is they pay that courtesy to LADIES. I'm not saying you have to be submissive or any of that jazz, because that's not what a lady is. But if there not a lady they don't deserve you as a gentlemen. My honest opinion.

[dutchpride92]

Agree with you 100%.

[DaddyRollingStone]

Nice, some fresh pasta.

4/10 you had me convinced for a little.

[desionnach1232]

what do you mean?

[DaddyRollingStone]

This is made up and it looks like copypasta from reddit

[desionnach1232]

copy paste? That picture is one i editted and i added parts of my religious text to, this entire thing is true.

[SirenDep]

Personally I value bravery, kindness and courage. Some people are ungrateful but it doesn't matter. Keep doing the noble thing to do, don't look for an award.

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean. I moved to the US a few months ago and I still find it weird that people can walk pass and not say good morning. Even if you say it they'll just look at you and keep walking. Pfft.. and people told me Americans were friendly.
(Here comes downvotes from Americans in denial)

[Phoenix98]

I'm not going to down vote you, but just like any place it depends on the state and sometimes city you live in. Some people are far friendlier in some places then they are in others.