Should I do a girl favor after she rejected me?

[Anonymous]

There's a beautiful girl I like, I asked her out to dinner and she basically rejected me. It has been over a month and we remained friends. I felt like she lead me on and she now has asked me to help her learn computer programming. Should I help her? Is there a chance she actually likes me or just using me?

[Anonymous]

Depending on HOW she led you on, and if she was using you for things during that time, then I'm going to have to say no, don't help her.

If you only felt led on by simple, non misleading things, then I'd say go ahead and help her IF you want to and IF you have the time - do not help her in hopes that she'll come around and start liking you again.

I say that because I've watched women use my friends over and over again because they thought by helping the woman, she'd either learn something herself and be better for it or they thought she would be interested in dating them. Neither was the case.

I've had women try that with me - they'll be rude one minute, then the next they want something from you. Don't give it to them if they aren't really your friend. Women will use you in all kinds of ways if you let them - don't let them, especially the really good-looking ones.

She should pay more attention in class if she wants to get better at programming. Or she can ask one of her girlfriends for help.

But seriously, do NOT help her just because you think it might get her to want you - if you do that, she's definitely not going to do anything but use you. I'm 100% correct when I say that. Hell, you'll have a better chance of her wanting you again if you tell her no.

[AmericanPoet]

Everyone uses everyone else for one thing or another. Just because you “believe” she led you on doesn’t mean she intended to. She asked you to help her with programming, she didn’t ask you for a long walk on the beach. If you are friends, help her as a friend. Quit trying to put more into this. Assume she is not interested and you are just being a friend. If she decides to go down on you it’s a win. If not, she is still a friend….. who now knows you’re a good dude…. and she has other friends…who are girls. See where I am going with this?

[Araya]

Lol. I understand your reservations. In my opinion, her feelings are not going to change within a month. I want to say that she feels that she has reservations about asking you because you feel something for her or she may be completely oblivious to your turmoil and think that since you two are friends, things will go back to the way they used to be.

Before I give an answer though, I'd like to know why you think she led you on.

[Asker]

Well, we weren't really friends before, I had talked to her for few times and I found her extremely funny and sweet. So I decided to ask her out and she said no. We didn't talk much after that but I started losing my shyness around her and didn't care much and just started having fun with others. She started to flirting with me and being way more friendly than before and then today she sent me a text and we talked for a bit and she asked me for help. It's pretty obvious I like her...

[Araya]

I would then be cautious. She may be trying to trick you into doing things for her. Especially since she flirted back with you and then asked you that question.

I personally would come up with an excuse to say that you aren't available and see if her behavior changes. If it does, then it's clear that she had ill intent.

[Asker]

She had flirted with me prior to this, she has flirted for the past month every since I stopped being shy
I really like this girl, I don't want to seem like an ass and ruin if any chance I have left lol

[Araya]

It sounds like you have your mind made up then. Help her out with what she needs then ask her out afterwards.

If she rejects you, it will be a lesson learned.

[Asker]

Well, to be honest I thought about it and it would be an asshole move not to help her, but I still wonder if she's using me or if there's a chance she likes me. Thanks for your time by the way :)

[Araya]

No worries! Thanks for MHG!

[tashasei]

I mean, the only way you can tell if she's using your friendship to her benefit is if you ask her a favor to do for you also (helping you out with something in return). But she already rejected you, don't get your hopes up.

[Sara413]

Help her if you want but not because you expect her to like you all the sudden. She probably doesn't.

[JusttryingtohelpU]

You like her and she knows this. Sounds like she is leading you on to use you. Think hard and be honest; are you helping her so she will like you?

Please, don't be her lapdog. She may not like you right now, but if you let her use you then she won't respect you either. Without respect, you might as well say goodbye to any chance you might have had.

Don't put your life on hold for a chance though. I'm sure there are other attractive girls around you.

[JusttryingtohelpU]

Oh, don't be evasive either, learn to say no. Very important skill you will need later on. If she is used to guys doing backflips for her, this might even peak her interest in you. Also, don't resent her for rejecting you since that's part of life. If she was mean, drop her and move on though.

[MusicMayhem]

Be evasive or non committal about helping her for a bit. Make her chase you for help for a bit to see how much she cares and what her true intentions are. Don't think there's another chance with her (but there couid be...). Just act like a friend for now.

[Balcazaurus]

I got some flashbacks reading this.

Do what you will as long as you know it won't hurt you or her.

Keep the hope that you can still be friends, but don't look too much into something you hope could happen. Not to say something can't, just---I can't tell you to be ready, but try to handle this as maturely as you can. Be chill.

Just be careful and you'll be fine. And also: no one is perfect so don't trick yourself into seein her that way. Personal experience.

[takumii]

Don't over think it, personally I wouldn't be keeping someone who rejected me as a 'friend' as it makes things complicated.. But now that you have done it, make sure you help her.
Don't hold superficial expectations of romantic advances from her side, you don't wanna get hurt twice right? Just keep it plain and simple. Don't try to act like a Playboy, let her know that you have gotten over her.

[1Analyst]

That depends on 'how' she rejected you. If she was being a mean and vile scumbag then You should say the same thing she told you when she rejected you , though in a subtle way. Of course if she was polite then I don't see why you should 'punish' her.

[Chief16]

This has more to do with your feeling than hers. Do you want pursue or let go. Either way, if someones asks me to teach them something, I'd be flattered but I would genuinely try because I love teaching. You can give that a try instead.

[mooky06]

Help her if YOU genuinely want to help her. Push your feelings aside because nothing will blossom from it. She just wants help with computer programming

[thisGUYknows]

Help her out just to be nice if you want. But I wouldn't ask her out anytime soon. U gotta make sure she's not using you

[luvstoned4him]

She could just want to remain good friends with you.

[Intraluminal]

Just using. On the other hand, if you have the time you could help her out to a limited extent as a friend.

[Tarvold]

She's just using you.

You can help her, just don't do it for nothing. Help her program if she brings pizza, or her single hot friend.

[Sojex]

If you're a good guy and you two are actually friends then help her out. If you're actually deep down an asshole and you two are more like acquaintances then refuse

[UhDopeDude]

Using you dude she's pure evil.. A lot of girls are like this... SAVE YOURSELF THE TORMENT!!!

[Anonymous]

You said you remained friends. So are you really friends, or are you just pretending? Because friends help each other out.

[Anonymous]

She sees you as a doormat and she's not afraid to walk all over you. Walk away and find a better friend in life and don't hold out for her.

[Anonymous]

No don't help her she's using you. Be like sorry i can't I have a date :)

[Socialrealist]

Of course not. Don't be a tampon and run like hell.

[notenough]

dude leave don't even stay friends with her, especially if she lead you on

[ArtDent]

Charge her for tutoring or trade favors like adults.

[Marinepilot]

DO NOT HELP THIS WOMAN !!! She's a manipulative user !

[Joeman1252]

You should just be nice and help her be ause she.
needs help

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't teach her if you're smart just reject her there are plenty of fishes out there !!!

[Anonymous]

uses you af. u should dump her. look for a new one. u say you are a programmer, show that you actually got some brain.

[Alexious]

I wouldn't lmao..
Seems manipulating tbh.

[Anonymous]

Yep that is typical she is just using you, taking advantage of your feelings, that is women for you.

[tolmbyy]

She wants you to be her beta orbiter

[Anonymous]

Your probably just being used

[Anonymous]

She's using you, plain and simple.

[Anonymous]

Using u.

[TimeSplitters123]

Only sensible comment from a woman.

[apple24]

If you want to!

[pavlove]

nope not at all

[Anonymous]

She's using you.