I feel undesired and unwanted?

[beautifulangel76]

I don't kn ow why but I don't feel happy and I feel undesired. I also feel like nobody would ever want to be with me mainly because no one has tried to and no one shows any interest. I just don't know what to do because I feel like there isn't much that I can do. I have been praying that I will feel better and that God will prepare me to be able to eventually get date someone and get married but I still feel horrible. I just wish I could have someone that would be so excited to see me and someone who love talking to me. I just don't know what to do right how and I could really use some advice. And I am a Christian just so y'all know.

[PrincessofNohr]

Have you considered going to talk to a professional about how you're feeling? I wonder if you might be going through some depression. I've dueled with depression throughout my life, and I have often felt exactly the same way as you describe here. It sounds like a cliche suggestion, but I found that it was extremely helpful and helped me to get myself back on track.

More directly related to your question, I find the best solution to remedying a problem is to be proactive about it. Sure, guys may not approach you, so why not try approaching them? Just a "hey, how are you doing?" should suffice. It's surprising how easy it is to start a conversation over something simple. I met a good friend of mind when I asked in passing what a dinosaur species was at a museum. It's daunting to start a conversation at first, but the more times you do it, the easier it becomes. At worst, they say "hey" and that's the end of it. At best, you make a great new friend or even find someone you like. Every little success will make you feel better about it, and I believe your self-confidence will improve with it.

Finally, if you really just want to get a guy's attention, maybe try dolling yourself up a bit when you go out. I've always been a pretty plain dresser (a nice sweatshirt and jeans are still my go-to). However, I do sometimes dress more girly, and I not only feel more feminine, but I definitely seem to get more attention from guys as well. I'm not talking anything too extreme - a nice form-fitting shirt, doing up my hair, a bit of makeup and mascara. A little extra time can really go the extra mile. Sure, it's shallow, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little bit of vanity.

[Missamy91]

Girl let me tell u something. I was married from 18 and divorced at 22. I'm a single mama now that my ex husband won't come around. I fell in love twice since I've been back and have had my heart chewed up spit out and stepped on. I go miles for the man I love. I do a lot for their smile. I'm not clingy or jealous. But sadly I'm in the same position. Im 24 and have no man. I work, have my own house, build and race cars, raise my daughter, dj, keep myself looking good and the most I get is a thirsty dude. I go to bed wondering every night if there is anyone out there for me. Will there be a guy who will hold me as I sleep and adore me? My friends complain about their relationships but I say at least u have someone to go home to. Our lives like this are sad and lonely. But I know this much too: I rather be alone then sleeping with someone I am unhappy with. As long as I'm alone im taking steps to being true to myself, and the times before I cried myself to sleep for being alone was the same time I somehow met someone who did become mine. So cheer up. Everything falls into place at the time it's meant to. You're not the only girl and things will get better. They always do. Xoxo

[beautifulangel76]

I'm trying to cheer up but it just feels like there's no way out. I have cried about it and just felt horrible. There is a guy that I'm interested in but something always comes up when there's a chance we could get to meet. He really seems like a nice guy and I know his mom but again almost every time there could be a chance that we could meet something happens.

[Missamy91]

Do you have any hobbies or activities? U can meet plenty of people through those things. Put yourself out there more, join groups on social media, go to the mall for a meal or movie alone guys DO WATCH and will approach if ur still alone after some time. Make eye contact and smile. That makes them melt. Really try and go out and you will see luck will change. I know how sad you feel believe me. I'm there right now but you need to be strong and say to yourself things will change one day, but you need to do something to encourage that.

[beautifulangel76]

I don't go a lot of places but when I do I don't usually see anyone I would be interested in. There are plenty of guys at my church but because I work at my church I'm mostly with the babies. I will try going on Wednesdays in the summer and maybe I could meet someone then

[Topaz223]

Ugh I know exactly how you feel, I have felt the same way for a long time. But I pray that God will send me the right man when its time and that's it. When I find a guy that I like, and I don't get to see him or it doesn't work out, I know that he wasn't the one for me and that there is a better person out there for me. So that is what I use to make myself feel better and it's the truth, same for you. Wouldn't you rather wait for the right guy instead of having your heart broken over and over again? I personally don't want my heart broken but I also don't want to give someone a broken heart.

[beautifulangel76]

I know that because things haven't worked out that it means that we probably aren't supposed to meet but I try to forget about it and then I start feeling optimistic and hopeful that there's still a chance.

[Topaz223]

I get that. I feel that way about my brothers friend.. Dancing at prom with him didn't help XD

[beautifulangel76]

I keep trying to tell myself that if it hasn't happened now then it probably won't but then again I have had plenty of opportunities to say something so maybe God isn't letting it happen yet because I'm not ready which is what I'm really hoping is the case.

[Topaz223]

Good relationships take time so I personally think that if its meant to be, doesn't necessarily mean It will happen right away. I'm not saying your guy is right or wrong, I'm just saying that it takes time to find out.

[beautifulangel76]

Yeah I know but this has been going on since December of last year. The hardest part for me is waiting and wondering if it's right or not.

[apple24]

SAME GIRL! I feel my rolls touching my fat ): I sometimes wish if only I were born white or something ):

[beautifulangel76]

I feel that way too sometimes. And there is a guy at my church and I just thought maybe this is it but he's white and I'm black and I think he is only interested in white girls but I would still feel better if I was given a shot. Something always comes up when we are in the same place though. Either he isn't at church, I'm not there yet, I'm working, or they leave a little early. But there were times that I had a chance to do something but I was top busy worrying about how uncomfortable it would make me when I could have already done something and maybe things would be way different

[apple24]

He just not worth it. Why try so hard for a guy who doesn't want the way u are!

[beautifulangel76]

Well I'm not for sure if that's how he feels but I totally understand. I just still would feel better if I gave it a chance.

[beautifulangel76]

And I honestly want to say something to him and I feel like it's almost as if it's something I have to do. The only problem is that he isn't always at church or we are both there but just not in the same place.

[fueledbythc]

Well maybe it's because you expect guys to approach. Why not try and befriend a guy that you're interested in. Catch his attention. Your gods won't magically make a guy appear. You need to put in the work too.

[beautifulangel76]

I believe in one God and he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I don't always expect guys to approach me but it would be nice if one ever did. I rarely see the guy that I am interested in anyway.

[fueledbythc]

One god or many it doesn't make a difference to me. Things don't just happen you gotta make them happen is what I'm trying to say. No fate or patience will help. Take the initiative.

[beautifulangel76]

I can't just make it happen because if I could then things would be different. It does take patient encephalitis sometimes because everything happens when the time is right.

[fueledbythc]

Then you lack confidence like me. Ill use myself for this example. There was this girl I went to school with and she always looks at me but she's really shy. In class when i got grouped up with her for a group presentation, she really tried to talk to me and there were other occasions of when she tried to talk to me as well. I should have taken time to get to know her but I avoided her because I feel I wasn't good enough for her and i can't read signs if a girl wants you to approach but if I just took action and have the initiative to talk to her maybe things would be different. Maybe I would be dating her. Don't be like me.

[beautifulangel76]

I'm not making excuses I promise but they actually aren't at church all the time. Last month they were every Sunday because they had to serve but I haven't seen them this month at all. I have even said I couldn't work just so I would have a better chance to meet him.