How do girls feel after the guy that they rejected starts ignoring them or has cut all contact?

[Anonymous]

Assuming the guy they rejected was a nice friend of theirs and not some stranger. How do you feel in this situation?

[Shorty1991]

My best friend is a guy, he's married with a child. He once told me that he had a crush on me. He kept saying if things were different and if I met you earlier on in life I would have asked you out. Talks about it like he still want it to happen. He wants to leave his wife because they don't get on well together now. I told him that would never happen and that I wouldn't want to jeopardize our friendship. Also, I don't really see him as boyfriend material. He doesn't ignore me and values our friendship too much to fo that. If I reject someone, I have a good reason for doing so. If they ignore me, then its no biggie. Not the end of the world. I just get on with life. . . ironically that's when they can end up crawling back to you. Obviously you've got to them, when they act like they don't care or ignore you. If it didn't bother them. They would be unphased by your presence and their behavior wouldn't change.

[Asker]

Who exactly may end up crawling back? I did not get it.

[Shorty1991]

Sorry, I should have explained it better. In that part I was talking about shy guys that take interest in women but never act on it, instead they carry on using the same old tactics and lurking around rather than talking to her. She loses interest, avoids him. He displays erratic behaviour, one week he acts like he's still interested and hell bent on pursuing this woman, the next week he ignores her and acts like he doesn't care. They say variety is the spice of life, one day annoy them, the next day ignore them. There's a guy that still does this with me. For me, that was a good enough reason to just avoid him altogether. I never rejected him, just lost Interest. So I prefer it when he stays out of my way. But hate it when he starts lurking around and trying to get close to me.

[Shorty1991]

Thanks for MHO.

[btbc92]

Probably feel really bad. I never really had a friend that was interested in me anyways. One guy was friends with me but was only interested in my friend. And because of that she rejected him and stopped talking to him. But it's always best to give him space, and be civil and friendly. Unless he was very immature and starts cursing or flip out for no reason, then I would assume his only reason for friendship is just to date me, and that ticks me off. I would want nothing to do with him at that point. I'd feel used.

[Anonymous]

Depending on the specifics i would feel very differently. If he did it out of spite because he can't handle a girl not wanting him then I wouldn't care at all to be honest, I'd just move on with my life. If it was because he felt hurt and needed distance, I would completely understand and feel bad that I hurt his feelings.

[anonman32]

so assuming you rejected me and 20 other girls in my life for the last 2 years did so too, then how do i keep friendships with all these people? thats not practical at all. thats not going to work out. its not about not being able to handle rejection, its about not being able to handle the vast quantity of people.

[Opinion Owner]

@anonman32 Thats why I said I would understand if the guy just needed space

[RJGraveyTrain]

I assume we either A) Weren't as good of friends as he let on or B) That he can't be my friend without there being feelings.

Either way, hate to sound bitchy but that's more of his loss than mine.

[Asker]

So, if it hurts for the guy to be friends knowing that his feelings are not reciprocated, is that bad? Would consider it to be a sign that he cannot take a rejection?

[aficionado]

I simply CAN'T remain friends with a woman who rejects me. Full stop. When she thought I wasn't good enough for her to even give me a chance, then I can't stay friends with someone like that. Just like how she is not OBLIGED to date me, I'm not OBLIGED to remain friends with her after she rejects me. She may be hurt, but I am hurt too. That makes it square.

But I would explain her why I am walking away, and wish her the best in life. I wouldn't be a prick, and cut contact with her out of the blue.

[Asker]

Solid comment right there. But isn't it self explanatory why the guy cuts all contact after rejection? Do you have to explicitly explain it?

[aficionado]

Well... it is usually self-explanatory, but sometimes it is not so obvious. Also, I believe it is basic courtesy to let the other person know why you can't be in touch anymore.

[Asker]

Yeah, I think I should just tell her that I do not want to be in touch anymore even though she got it already. I feel like an idiot in this situation but what can I do if by doing so, it make life a little bit easier?

[aficionado]

Well... It's not NECESSARY to tell her, but doing so would probably make you a better human in her eyes! :)

[Asker]

True.

[MatsubuS]

as i can say, i had 2 situations like that, after i wasn't giving a f about them they was like 'whats with him :C i want to speak with him :< ill accidently spill my coffe/tea on him so he will speak with me :<' and so. it can be weird or theyll say your weird.

[Asker]

Happened to me too. Expect she "accidentally" threw a chair into me to get my attention.

[MatsubuS]

buahahaha its so random what they do seriously..

[Asker]

tell me about it.

[MatsubuS]

first situation i went on school trip somewhere I don't know, we were going to spend a few days in there. (i tooked a bong, few g of weed, alcohol as usuall and so on.) and while we were in bus, she sit at the end, i was in the centre or smthn. playing on my phone, she was with her friends (girls). as my friend was near the window, i was on the other side. they (girls and that ho) started to whisper and smthn about me (i clearly heard it). so i put my headphones on my ears. after like 30 minutes we had to make break cuz some dude went sick XD but as we were going to stop that girl walks near me, checking her bag, it was above me, she provoked me (in her opinion) to watch at her but as fast as she noticed me not giving a fuck about her she went to sit down again (she started to be mad at me XD). i was still sitting with headphones on then something felt on my legs. IT WAS A FCK SMARTPHONE. she stand up telling me that it was her friends and that she's sorry AND she started to talk to me.

[MatsubuS]

i was like 'oh k gtfo' and interrupting her speach i put headphones on again. hour pass through, she spilled a hot really hot coffe on me, and so on just to get my attention. so i said that she's fucked up and she should gtfo. left me alone THANK GOD!

[Asker]

Love the story man. I was just sitting in the library with my back to her and listening to some music. She wanted to ask something and instead of approaching me, she pushed a chair into me. That hurt by the way.

[MatsubuS]

i have other stories like that hahah and believe me, really hot coffe on my crouch hurts too! :D

[Dreamshipper221]

I would honestly feel really hurt, the fact that he chooses to ignore me even though we were close friends would make me think that our friendship doesn't mean anything. I think if the guy still decided to stay friends even after being rejected it would show that he values the friendship that we had.

[Asker]

True. But what if staying friends after being rejected, hurts the guy even more and it is better for him to stay away from her. I valued our friendship but staying friends is just destroying me.

[Dreamshipper221]

In that case I guess I would say choose the option that would hurt the least. If being close to her now hurts more than losing her friendship I guess thats the way to go. But before you close all contact I think it would be best to talk to her and tell her how you feel, if anything you can still try to patch things up. If you choose to stop talking to her just know I would feel much better If the guy talked to me before he stopped all contact with me rather than him just ignoring me without a glance.

[Asker]

I see. I guess it is a little bit too late for telling her that I do not want to be in touch with her since it has been a while after she rejected me.

[Dreamshipper221]

If thats the case and if she hasn't tried getting contact with you recently I would say yea it may be a little late now. But ultimately its up to you, its better now than never right? But also if its hurting you staying friends than I understand your decision.

[OleMissMiss]

If I rejected him, I'm going to assume he will cut contact with me and move on, so I will be sad I lost a friend but I made that decision when I turned him down. If I wanted him in my life I would have accepted his offer of something more than just friends...

[yourwinglady]

I've never been in this situation, but I would probably feel badly about it. I think you gotta do what's right for you. If that helps you get over the girl, then by all means, cut off the contact!

[Asker]

Thanks

[ginny_weasley]

I won't care I did reject him. I don't blame him for not wanting to be friends.

[Asker]

fair enough

[sasuki]

I ignored a girl once whom I really cared about. She didn't give a damn. After 3 months of ignoring she asked me what's wrong : I had already moved on by that time so I had a casual conversation and stopped talking afterwards.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me and I feel really bad for him. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but what else was I supposed to do if I simply do not like him in that way? I would still be his friend if he wanted to but he ignores me and i guess I deserve it.

[Asker]

Nobody deserves ignorance. I guess we just need to accept the possible outcome of a rejection.
Would you ever reconsider him in the future? If so, what would need to change?

[WillowTree]

I'd accept that he can't handle it and just give him the space he deserves.

[Asker]

what if it hurts him being friends with the girl? Would that be considered not being able to handle rejection?

[WillowTree]

I'll explain what I said a little more in-depth... If he can't handle being around me anymore because it upsets him, then I'll respect that he wants distance and leave him alone.

[Cosytoasty]

They prolly don't care since they rejected you to begin with. Anyway, the whole point of #nocontact is for the guy to move on, it's irrelevant what she feels.

[desidoll]

I'd feel like he's upset with the rejection but I don't blame him. I'd probably do the same if I was in his situation.

[SarahsSummer]

I assume he's not mature enough to handle rejection but take a higher path.

[Asker]

Interesting. What if he can handle rejection but it hurts the guy being friends with the girl? Like hanging out and having feelings towards her and knowing that they are not mutual.

[SarahsSummer]

Then I'd let him keep his distance but always say hi in passing.

[Gabriella171]

Hey... if you get mad at my honesty you weren't a friend to begin with

[Asker]

ouch. I wouldn't say one was not your friend from the beginning. How about it being a way of coping with rejection? Staying friends with one being attracted to another without mutual feelings is super hard.

[Gabriella171]

I know it's hard having feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way but it hurts even worse knowing I lost a friend because I told the truth.

[Asker]

In my case, she actually lied while rejecting me but that is outside the scope of this question.
I just wonder how long do girls feel bad after they have lost a friend that way? It a one day thing or do they hold on to it for a bit. I was hurt too when I cut all contact but that the best thing I could have done for myself. I could not see her one bit, I would get weird and usper sad.

[Gabriella171]

Probably a good two weeks. Faster after I delete your number and pics out of my phone.

[Asker]

I love the second sentence. ha ha ha

[Gabriella171]

Lol that's how a lot of girls areq

[Gabriella171]

*are

[DruBiEN]

Ummm a little bit bad but world doesn't end there. The emotional effect will certainly fade soon.

[Asker]

How soon is soon?

[DruBiEN]

Depends upon how much deeply I felt for him.

[kittykatbrat]

(laughing)
I DREAM of this happening x 1000000000000.

[Muhammad1999]

Yeah laugh coz ugly bitches won't get any boyfriend.

[kittykatbrat]

@Muhammad1999 (still. laughing) Keep smiling and have a great day xo :)

[Muhammad1999]

I will have a nice night not day , do you know why i like night? Coz in the dark its hard to see ugly bitches

[Anonymous]

It feels really bad and hurts like hell. Took me a damn year to recover from it. 😔

[Asker]

This is what is happening to me right now. It's been 6 months already and I still can't get over it.

[Anonymous]

Hurt.. Anand angry left wondering if I meant anything to him at all

[Asker]

If the guy confessed his feelings to you or asked you out, then clearly you meant something to him.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes then that would be the obvious.. however the doubt would come in at the fact that he was willing to drop me that way.. one would have to wonder if he was even serious or not.. but overall yes if he told his intention was to get with me.. then I'll try to figure things out for the both of us..

[Asker]

"willing to drop me like that" - elaborate more on this. Do you mean, why has the guy not tried harder? Isn't a girl's rejection final? Why bother sticking around if it is not going to change anything, or am I wrong?

[Opinion Owner]

And yes if he chooses to stay away for a while I'd accept that but if he who I consider a special friend and not a romantic partner then yes I'll still be hut by his decision

[Opinion Owner]

No ur absolutely right... I'm not disagreeing.. I believe that if ur gonna be hurt by this situation then don't stay... I get it. But truth is you will be missed... deeply. but that is if ur someone special to her

[Asker]

I don't know if I was special enough for her. We did go through some tough times together when I helped her out a lot. I even took care of her when she got food poisoning and nobody else seemed to care. She barely squeezed out a thank you.

[Opinion Owner]

It's terrible but that doesn't mean she doesn't care.. or appreciative.. it means that she believes you'll always be there.. and maybe she express her gratitude differently.. but I doubt if she doesn't care.. every once and a while women could be a little self centers and have to be reminded every now and again.. just like everyone else.. but I'm sure she doesn't know u feel unappreciated.. you can't be willing to walk away already without expressing ur side of the story... right?
That's kind of unfair.. you won't give her a chance to state her claim

[Asker]

You maybe right. I just don't feel like talking to her anymore. I think she was just embarrassed and did not want to lead me on by expressing gratitude. I know I am childish but cutting all contact with her works so much better for me. The only that I am thinking about is if I have a chance sometime in the future? Does that even happen?

[Opinion Owner]

Probably not... are you ready for that reality.. is this what you really want?

[Opinion Owner]

U say embarrassed? Of what exactly?

[Asker]

What do you mean by " is this what you really want"?

[Asker]

She had food poisoning and was vomitting badly. I took care of her and made sure she was ok. I guess she felt embarrassed.

[Opinion Owner]

Here's the thing you know either personally or professionally i feel like maybe there's no proper sense of personal space or boundaries. This may be something you hadn't noticed before, but now it's becoming obvious. While this makes you uncomfortable and you probably want to avoid the issue, you really do have to deal with it clearly and assertively. If you keep letting this person infringe on you in some way, it will continue. If you draw the lines now, though, you can maintain a decent relationship.

[anonman32]

its simply not possible to maintain friendships with ALL people that reject you, how is that ever possible or practical?

[Yanoa_Yanza]

If you were a friend? It'd be a pity of course that you decide to throw away that friendship

[Asker]

What if staying in contact as a friend hurts you like hell? I mean, the guy would be the one suffering.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Hmmm... I want that friend to explain it to me, so I can understand his or her point. If the friend would cut off contact without any explanation, you'll leave me with questions :(

[Asker]

Wouldn't it be self explanatory why the guy cut all contact?

[Yanoa_Yanza]

I'd be thinking "come on, man. Can't you take rejection?" :/

[Asker]

Fair enough.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

That's what I'd think if the friend would cut off contact without telling.

Else it'd be "I'm sorry to hear that. Take as much time as you want. Remember you're welcome still"

[Asker]

If someone ahd told me "you are still welcome" I would probably get pissed. This would be an invitation to be in the friendzone and being a beta for her. Not going to happen

[Yanoa_Yanza]

You're going to be friendzoned either way after the rejection, even without "you are still welcome" :o
The chance after that is slim

[Asker]

I know. That is why I cut all contact. I don't want to be in her friendzone. Sometimes I am just wondering what I would need to do to stay away from the frienzone and maximize my chances of being reconsidered in the future? Any advice. Can I even be reconsidered?

[Yanoa_Yanza]

You flirt with her here and there. "If you were my girlfriend I'd take you on a date on..."
jokingly and all that, those subtle flirts as you get to know her more. Drop those flirts here and there. And later you could like text a bit less and play league of legends with me instead XD and then she might notice and be like "Hmm... I miss this guy"
Be confident of course! Be funny, making a girl laugh gets you far

[Asker]

I see. I don't play league of legends though. :)
Humor goes a long way, I know. I have a good sense of humor and she knows it.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Yeah it was just an example. It's been a while since I played, too lazy for 45 minute rounds :O

[123feels]

sad. a friendship was pretty much just ruined and its kind of heart breaking

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't feel any other way unless I actually liked him but not his actions.

[Asker]

Could you reject a guy even though you actually liked him?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes.

[Asker]

How does that work? What is the rationale behind it? When I say "liked a guy" I meant in a romantic sense, not in a platonic sense

[Opinion Owner]

It's simple. If he does something I don't like.

[Asker]

Can you elaborate a little bit further? Does something you don't like? Like smoking, some hobbies? Can't you just tell the guy that you don't want him to do that thing and still be with him.

[Opinion Owner]

I could of said something about it but I didon't why? Because it was his choice. Not mine

[Jumpemmalena]

Depressed
That's my only emotion

[Anonymous]

I will feel like I have a knife in my heart 😢😥

[Asker]

How long would feel that way if you see that person almost every day? You try talking to that person but he shows that he has no interest in staying friends with you.

[Opinion Owner]

Sad .