Am I boring because I don't go to bars/clubs?

[Anonymous]

Certainly is beginning to feel that way.

I never thought I was because I always thought I was intelligent, fun, and funny. But I'm not the party-type---I don't go to bars and clubs for dancing. That's just not the stuff I like to do.

Forever I believed there was no problem at all; I could still attract girls. But it seems like every girl my age is doing all that stuff and when they realize I have no "drunk stories" to match theirs, then it looks like I'm labeled as boring.

I never thought of myself as a boring guy. In fact, I thought a lot of the girls I met who did that stuff were boring because they didn't know anything else or they didn't want to do anything else. And yet it seems like the joke's on me because I'm the only one not doing it.

[DuffyGal]

::Gasp:: I felt the EXACT same way all of my life and up til this day. Bars and clubs were never my scene. They seemed pointless, like meat markets, especially for us women. Everyone around me looked at me as if I was a prude because of it and it used to bother me A LOT, but I realized that what rocks one person's boat won't rock mine. I also realized that a good portion of the people who you see in bars and clubs are only there traveling with the pack anyway, not because they love it. People still talk to me as if I am some innocent little thing because I've never drank myself into a drunken stupor and I don't hook up with random guys in bars and clubs. Somehow there is something wrong with me because I don't like to act like an a--. I used to go along with their opinions of me. But I got comfy enough in myself to realize my choices have kept me away from all of the negative things life has to offer. I don't and never will have the attitude of reckless abandon. I don't want to live now and pay later. I know that about myself. So why should I care so much what others think? They're the ones getting pregnant or getting other girls pregnant. They're the ones with STD's. They're the ones getting DUI's and getting into car accidents. What part of any of that do I need in my life? None of it! So I am confy with the decisions I make for myself. I hope you can learn to be the same way. It's a really miserable life letting people dictate to you who you are. Best of luck!

[Asker]

Thanks. I used to be like you are, but I started losing that element because I haven't been able to get girls to choose to do activities with me over their routine of going to the bar. I really, really hope I can regain the self-confidence that you now posses.

[Josie_Lola]

I don't think its boring not to go to bars and clubs etc. In fact I recon that it makes you more interesting.

I hate people who spend all of their time in at bars and talking about how drunk they were at the weekend and stuff and I know I'm not the only girl that thinks this.

You obviously spend your time wisely doing more interesting things and there are girls who would completely respect you for that. To be honest if people only care about their "drunk stories" then they're the boring ones and aren't worth you spending your time on.

[realtalkgurus]

I was on the same boat as you homie...I actually hate clubs/bars with a passion...however it is the most ideal place to meet new people because that's where people our age primarily hang out on a weekend. And while drunk stories are overrated they do make for great stories to tell nonetheless.

With that said though...you don't necessarily have to have to tell "drunk" stories to stimulate the female mind...just having interesting stories to tell in general, turn your boring stories into interesting ones FOR EXAMPLE:

back when I was in high school when I was in history class, I'd fall asleep every class cause the class was so boring...but one day we had a substitute teacher who came in for a week and he would teach us history lessons but he'd act them out and he would literally sell each story he told with such passion and enthusiasm, that just brought the class to life. so just keep that in mind.

[Asker]

Thanks---yeah, I'm able to tell my own interesting, unique stories, and they pass the time, but other than that, it's hard to get one and one time with these bar-going girls since their free time is pretty much spent there and they don't want to give it up.

[l-hedoniste]

Drunk stories are WAY overrated and often humiliating. Besides, tons of women who won't go near a bar.

They are for meeting people, however, and the people there want to be met. To find a girl who doesn't like bars *and* who also wants to meet you, you'll have to be outgoing, opportunistic, and disciplined. She won't fall from the sky.

[Asker]

Can you explain how I can be "outgoing, opportunistic, and disciplined" to find these girls?

[l-hedoniste]

It means that when you see a girl you're attracted to, you have to figure out:

How and when to get her to a decent conversation

How to figure out whether she likes you

How and when and *whether* to ask her out.

Where and when the first few dates will be.

With bars and clubs, this is all built-in and streamlined. Without them, you'll need alertness, flawless game, and the hide of a rhino--your batting average will be low; only about half who appear interested will be, and of those, only about half will go out with you.

[tzdc21]

Nope. You're actually smart. Because bars and clubs draw in the wrong people for a relationship.