Girls, Should I be worried about the bachelorette party?

[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend is going to a bachelorette party next month. Her friends are crazy (so is she) and I fully expect the party will be wild. I have also heard through the grapevine there will be strippers present. I am trying to be the cool boyfriend about this but I cannot seem to help being a little nervous and jealous. I have not discussed this with her. Should I be nervous? What do you think I should do? Don't ask don't tell?

[btbc92]

You should discuss it with her if this is an issue for you. If you feel nervous, nobody can blame you for feeling that way. I don't like any of those places, but it's part of the secular culture in the first place or even basically 'tradition' as a person's last night or time 'single' legally. It's not so much of inscurity, but because you understand fully well what those places are about. Sexual temptation. So even if it's male strippers, the point is the type of place it is. Unlike drag queen parties, stripper parties can get really dirty especailly if it isn't a well known reperable place. There is too many crazy stories about it. Trust is key. But if you feel yoru trust is being compromised, then it should be talked over with her.

It's not about tryting to be the 'cool' boyfriend. You don't need to try to be 'cool' for anybody or try to measure up her expectations in a boyfriend. If you aren't cool already to her, then your with the wrong person. If you feel you always have to put out and make improvements when she isn't doing the same, then you will feel deprived and unappreciated. So don't harbor those emotions. Be honest with her, and see what she says.

[misstalia_95]

If you're feeling nervous about her going to this bachelorette party, just voice your concerns. Yes relationships are supposed to be built on trust, but they're also supposed to be built on openness and transparency.

Sit her down and don't hold back.

... Doesn't hurt to bang her for a good hour before she leaves either. Show her what she's got at home (wink, wink).

[ladyfirebird]

First of all: ask yourself 'do I trust her enough that she won't get wild til the point she cheats on me at the party?'
B/c trust is key, especially in these situations. If you mention to her your jealousy towards the strippers, she might feel like you do not trust her enough to make the right decisions, and that will start an argument.
Therefore, if I were you, I'd still talk to her over the matter but slide in the affirmation that you DO trust her and perhaps its' the strippers at the party that you do not trust.
Take the situation easy route as you talk it over, and try not strike any nerves (especially if she is the defensive type about wanting to party -- in other words DON'T DIG YOURSELF A HOLE in the relationship by this)

[kaylaS91]

I think it's perfectly fine to voice your concerns to your girlfriend. If anything, that's better than keeping it to yourself and possibly making her think that you're distant/acting a bit different for a completely irrelevant reason.

I'd want my boyfriend to let me know if he was feeling a bit worried about my going to a bachelorette party, too. That sounds like a valid concern to have when in a relationship and having open lines of communication, including being open about what gets either of you worried is a good way to build trust and a stronger relationship in the future.

[Anonymous]

I never understood the appeal of these parties. Personally I'm more low key and would enjoy just a small gathering with me, my future husband and our friends... not some separate wild parties.
I would say it depends on your relationship... have you both done wild things while you were together in the past? Are you having a bachelor party or no? If you aren't wild and aren't having a party yourself, I would probably tell her I would prefer she not have a party like that either. I don't think it's far to your SO to be looking at naked dudes if he's not going to strip clubs or checking out naked girls.

[Asker]

Um I am not getting married... she is invited as a bridesmaid.

[justagirl5]

Ask. I'm against the idea of using strippers while in a relationship and I think it's BS that people use them right before they marry. When I love someone, I want him, and I don't want to see any other guy naked or go hook up. My view is unpopular, but I tend to get really emotionally attached to one person. But anyway I think you should talk to her

[Jenn1991]

OK I am not going to sugar coat this but booze, and smoking hot naked guys are a dangerous mix. I have attended quite a few bachelorette parties that the girls got interactive with the strippers. Its not rare... I am sure you have been to some crazy stags right? If you are worried you should talk to her about your thoughts... but if she goes all you can do is trust her. She is your girlfriend right? If there is no trust your relationship is finished anyway.

[mermaidrocketship]

Be up front about your concerns. I think as long as you aren't someone who parties and watches strippers, you have every right to be concerned and tell her you aren't comfortable. It's better than staying quiet and pretending everything's okay.

[Asker]

Well thing is it may be OK. I hate to bring this up and then she thinks I do not trust her. It seems to be a no win scenario. Oh and I have been to see strippers a few times in my life so I would be a hypocrite I think.

[mermaidrocketship]

Yeah bud. You won't have a leg to stand on. You've got to just trust her.

[BaeBeeee]

I personally feel like bachelor and bachelorette parties are bullshit. It's wild and chaotic. But anyway, you should talk to her about it. Don't keep your feelings in. Let em out.

[alanerss]

well, considering you guys are getting married, I think it's safe to say that she loves you very much and a bachelorette party is just a tradition. i mean, you'd have a bachelor party, right? i say there's nothing to worry about, and just be happy you've found someone to be with :)

[Asker]

I guess I was not clear on this. We are not getting married. She is a bridesmaid.

[SvetlanaSavachenko]

Don't ask don't tell would be a wise choice. Same goes for your bachelor party when the half naked chic pops out of the cake and blows everyone there starting with you.
I know I've been the chic that pops out of the cake!

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why American have those party. Personally I wouldn't go there and never want my boyfriend to go there. you should tell her you are not comfortable to think about her being with strippers