I feel like such a slut.. I want to die?

Question

This is really long, so if you took the time to read it.. I would greatly appreciate it. I feel low about myself right now.
So when I was 17, my ex (who was the first guy I dated and kissed) seemed nice. But he was actually a player and I liked the the attention he gave me since I was always known for being a quiet girl so I sent him nudes because I liked the feeling. I didn't send any nudes with my face in it but I did send pictures of me showing a lot of cleavage with my face in it. After we broke up, he called me easy (it was a mutual breakup) and I didn't take it personal until now. We didn't have sex or anything but he did touch me down there. We dated for 3 months. After the breakup, he texted me sometimes and we agreed to be friends because I felt scared that he still possibly had my nudes and could expose me. I sent him a selfie (showing A LOT of cleavage) after he sent me a selfie (I didn't even ask, he just sent it so I sent him one back in response to be friendly and to show off how good I looked). Then he asked to be friends with benefits saying he wanted to touch my boobs again. I told him that I don't do things like that with friends and I denied his offer. I really regret everything with him because he used me and thinks I'm easy... he said he deleted all nude photos but he prob didn't because he's immature. But now his friends all probably think I'm a slut since I show off my body like that and my mom gave me a talk when I asked her about how I wanted to start showing my body off and she said that's so slutty and she would look down on me. She said maybe if I was older it would be okay (Like 21). But I'm turning 18 next month and I feel so low about myself.. even though I'm a virgin. But like now I feel like a slut and I want to die because everyone probably thinks that way of me

sawno · Accepted Answer

Poor girl, i got sad when i read all that. But i didn't get sad because of the risk of your nudes leaking. I got sad because of all the manipulation going on. You are 17, which means your in a situation in life where social pressure is trough the roof. I can see it consumes you, destroys you and makes you fall victim to him because your in a bit of an unspoken blackmail situation that he may not even have intended to exist.

The way out of this is luckily quite simple, but it will take some waking up and a change of mindset. So lets go over some facts right? Many of your age mates will have had sex, many of them have send dirty pictures. Its a very common thing in society. You on the other hand have not yet gone all way, which makes you more innocent then most of those who would call you names out of there own insecurity.

What you need right now is some love, mainly the love you can give yourself. Sexually you are actually quite the opposite of a slut because when i read the title i assumed you fucked him together with some of his friends instead you went less far then most others go these days. But even if you where 10 times as slutty it doesn't change what i am going to say now. You absolutely NEED to love who you are, this life is NOT about the actions you have done it is about your INTENTIONS behind it! From reading your post none of these intentions where slutty, you wanted to share a part of you with him which is very normal in a relationship. Showing your naked self with a partner is completely normal in every relationship and sending them a picture is normal to, it wouldn't make you a slut if he sends it it makes him a terrible person.

What worries me more is the intention you had when being a "friends with benefits". It doesn't sound like you wanted this at all, you acted based on fear. You have to let go because as long as you let that fear rule over you your not going to find the happiness and peace with yourself that you seek.

Don't be afraid of the picture leaking out, it won't be the end. Just explain that you send that to him when you where in a relationship if it ever leaks out and they will shift the blame on him. But most importantly of all, love yourself. The first step to do that is looking at your intentions and not your actions, as your intentions where pure you are certain a person to love.

Smok-E · Accepted Answer

Listen!
Why you are getting sad or happy by what other thinks about you?
I know what other thinks about you matters but it should not effect you
Now you should practice to become a good girl so good that those guys think their friend was wrong, a cheater
Stop! Any random person.. every single one would have faced some kind of difficulties at some point just think this is yours
Don't let yourself down this is the time to prove yourself how strong you are , and if you're not then its time to become...
And anytime you need someone to talk about that you can pm me ✌

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

You feel like doing things like sending pictures of your cleavage and/or nudes will mean that you've been magically penetrated by the dicks of multiple men, and even so, that reduces your sense of self-worth to wishing to die?

Girl. C'mon now.
-it's your body, you can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Primitive societal/religious norms shouldn't be given so much power that they hold power over whether you wish to continue living or not. You're better than that.
-there is nothing wrong with being comfortable with your sexuality/body, or even acknowledging that your libido exists. You're human- not a body put on earth primarily to pleasure men in bed when they wish to do so.

I can't believe your mom joined in on this, which ironically enough only adds to the issue that some women are fighting against, while other evidently are just helping propagate it. (that women are valued primarily for acting as child-like virgins whose primary source of value is almost literally between their legs.)

assley · Accepted Answer

You're not a slut. You just dated a douche. Maybe consider why you sent nudes and revealing photos because you liked the feeling. That's probably the only mistake you made here. Don't send nudes ever. These were privately sent messages and meant to be for him only, but you have to know guys show them off to their friends. People may have seen them already or maybe not. Most good people would think he's a dick for showing everyone private photos you only wanted him to see. I personally don't send these types of pictures because of all the things that could happen. When I was younger and if social media was like it is today I'd probably do it for attention or something. Trust me. Guys don't need your nudes, they can google anything they want to see. Getting your nudes is a way to control you, just like this situation your in. He's made you feel bad for his mistake.

MirandaHays · Accepted Answer

Let me start off by saying it is going to be okay. A majority of girls, including me, have been sucked into trying to pleasure a guy this way. It's because of the mind games they play. The fact that he called you "easy" shouldn't be an insult due to the fact it's coming from him. That guy obviously has no control over himself. Girl, I have done/ felt the same thing and it's normal to have regrets. This is a learning experience and it's best not to do that again. I would separate myself from that guy as much as possible and move on; try interacting with other guys and make friends with them. It will take your mind off of him and what happened. But props to you for turning down the friends with benefits offer! There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, either. Don't feel low, just treat this as a lesson and keep moving forward!

taleets · Accepted Answer

okay for one try and calm down and breathe. no offense but i really think you are overreacting. it's not the end of the world that you sent him a photo with your boobs showing. while i personally haven't, almost all of my friends have. no, it doesn't make you a slut. you can't even be a slut you are still a virgin. if you went around and fucked 10 guys in one weekend then i would say differently but you haven't. why don't you spend some time with your family or friends and just distance yourself away from the drama?

CT_CD · Answer

Pink Anonymous, I want to say something before this whole thing gets out of control. In 1967, in the hot desert sun, a woman gave birth to a boy in the back of old pick up. She was a sloot. She left the boy at a local church. The father at the church didn’t like children, but he knew that being a disciple of the bible he couldn’t possibly not take the small kid. Instead he ended up taking out his frustration on the boy. At the age of three, the boy was forced to use the toilet.
Let me tell you the little guy fell into his own pile of poop more than once.

By the age of 5, the boy the boy was reading the bible and chopping wood for the fire. Despite the father’s harsh character, the boy loved him and thought of him as his true father. By the age of seven the father raped him three times. The boy ran away. He survived four days in the desert by eating cactus and scorpions. He was finally found by a drug cartel boss, who took the boy in. Mr. Sanchez was his name, and he was immediately impressed by the boys intelligence and grown up attitude. Mr. Sanchez provided the boy with an education at a private prep school and a nice house. The boy had sex for the first time when he was 12, the next year he graduated high school. He was the school’s star running back. The boy was lost, although he liked Mr. Sanchez, he never thought of him as his father. The boy went to India, were he became a spiritual leader of a large tribe of farmers. With his power he turned the several plots that each tribe member had into a large corporate farm and became a millionaire. His assets grew as he bought into other successful start ups. He often got ahead in business with his great leadership abilities, but once in a while he used violence. This was India after all.

By the time he was 22, the boy had all the money he would ever need. So he bought a yacht and traveled the world for 10 years. For 10 years he visited every major port, slept with girls from every country imaginable and tried every drug ever made (by nature and by man). When he was 33, he was walking on a beach in French Guiana when he met a girl of Irish - Native American decent. She bared his seed. It was boy, perfect health. He moved them to Argentina, then London, and eventually Vermont. The man was 45 now, he has seen everything, accomplished everything, and tried everything. He skied down the Swiss Alps, been at the North Pole, swam with hammerheads, everything!

johnmichaei · Answer

it's just in your mind girl no one thinks of you like that not really only you baby you done wrong maybe you've learned your lesson for now later in life you can do what you want to like that but you was young and naive and was tricked into what you done but it will all be okay sooner then you think

Angel_Kat · Answer

You're not slutty! I feel like he probably manipulated you into doing that by giving you so much attention. It's very easy to manipulate 16 17 18 19 even 20 year olds, you're at an age where you're very suggestible. Something similar happened to me and I learned from my mistakes on how manipulative some people can be. Don't worry about it, just learn from your mistakes and learn to love yourself more and have more confidence :) <3

AaronTupaz · Answer

The word slut is harmful in society. Feel free to express your sexuality anyway you want, whether that would be sending nudes, or performing sexual acts. But you need to be careful choosing your partners. That's a skill you need to develop as a girl. But women including your mother are slut shaming you cuz sluts ruin their market value. They usually have the mentality of trading sex for security and money, and when there's someone giving it away for free, it makes them feel less valuable.

The_Gentelman · Answer

makes me sad to hear that. I just hope he has really deletet all the nudes but like you discribed him I honestly doubt it. But still dont try to commit suizide just always try to think about the good things in your life (and before hate start a little shitstorm here: this helped me so I just try to help others with this) and if you ever need somebidy to talk to feel free to message me☺
wish you a nice day/morning/night whatever and dont think to much about it

wisdom_sharer · Answer

What do you think about yourself? I wouldn't worry if I were you, just stop taking and sending pictures like that if you want to respect yourself more (because it seems you are not comfortable with yourself regarding those pics). Tc :)

Dez22 · Answer

If I was in your situation, the best thing I can do is own my mistakes, learn from it, and move on. If those guys think I'm a slut oh well, I got more important things to focus on like forming a great relationship with myself and achieving my goals.

Orioner · Answer

Will you please stop interacting with a player? Out of self-respect, I mean. He even called you "easy", c'mon.

0112358 · Answer

You're at an age where like half of people have had sex. You did some touching with a guy you were dating and sent him a photo of your boobs. You are not a slut.

midoooo · Answer

Don't judge your self that way it's okay you did what you felt then no problems we are human

FakeName123 · Answer

What's done is done. You made mistakes, now you have to move on from it.

Sohann · Answer

There is a time in one's youth when you are so deep into fantasies of growing sexually that you at times commit things that you regret later but thats quite normal. Be confident of who and what you are. Dnt let your life be spoilt by a playing jerk

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

There are girls blowing a new cock every weekend and people defend them saying they're not a sloot. You're not a sloot.

harryish · Answer

The only best suggestion: do not care about others.  PS: If its really you in your dp then you dont look 19.

Smegskull · Answer

Most people don't care about you enough to think you are a slut.

Nandor · Answer

Well im sorry to hear that. When is your birthday? Just try to calm yourself what is done is done you are still young

Anonymous · Answer

hey dont worry u just have met a bad guy... u will forget about this soon :) would u like to message me and talk?

Anonymous · Answer

YOIre not a slit

I feel like such a slut.. I want to die?

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