Do you think 'pre-selection' among women's attraction to men is a real thing (read details)?

Question

What preselection means is that if you're a man who has many female admirers or is having a lot of sex, it will be attractive to other women because it proves your status as a desirable partner. The theory states that being preselected by other women is very effective because it gives you instant validation of your worth and it saves women from having to put in the effort to independently discover your value for themselves. With preselection, they can simply borrow the estimate other women have made.

Do you think pre-selection is a real thing?

witherwing · Accepted Answer

That sounds very logical. I am dating a person who is a good friend of one of my best friend's (even before I met him), so in a way I feel like my friend already vouched for him to be a good guy, while not exactly in a same way that meant in the question, since they were never romantically involved (which would be really weird if they had).

As an introvert in general I very much rely on other people's recommendations of who is worth getting to know and who isn't, because the getting-to-know phase is mentally very challenging for me. I'd rather not waste my time and energy.

CubsterShura · Accepted Answer

While it is real and it is pretty tempting... it really depends on a lot of stuff. Who is he? What type of women like him and why? Are those women my type of people?

For example, many gold diggers are after rich guys but I wouldn't be after that sorta guy for this reason. If I get to know that just decent ordinary typical girls like me, many of them like a certain dude and I hear a lot about him and others, I would definitely be interested to know him myself, and later I may or may not want to be with that guy.

victoriaxoxo · Accepted Answer

Or perhaps a guy with many admirers would naturally be either more attractive therefore why he has those admirers. Some women do chase rich or popular guys but most don't... Serious link between cause and effect missing.

Personally, prefer guys who don't have chicks swarming around them because I am not looking to get with the next big celebrity and want a modest guy who is normal.

jimyee · Accepted Answer

I would certainly agree to an extent. Women are generally more attracted to guys who have female friends because it demonstrates they can have healthy relationships with women which correlates to "female admirers" or sex partners. However, often times women need to date or hang out with a guy a little bit before they start learning that kind of information.

Cosytoasty · Accepted Answer

i think it’s more to do with the fact a man who has many female admirers is just generally attractive (in mind, soul and body) to many females.

It is also very true that a man with a pretty girlfriend gets huuuge amounts of attention from other women.

vishna · Answer

It's real, but not for all women and to varying degrees.

I would personally, not go for the guy who has a bunch of women after him, because I really am not interested in "fighting" for the attention of a guy.

Whereas, another woman would go for a guy even more knowing that loads of women want him.

aicarg · Answer

I don't feel that it applies to me as I'm one who tends to steer away from men who have loads of admirers as I truly don't like the feeling of "competing" for attention. And I'm repelled by men who have the capability to have multiple partners as I hold the value of sex in a deeper emotional sense than someone who is able to share themselves freely in that way.

Pamina · Answer

I think it depends. If he's about my age, then obviously It would make me wonder why he didn't or hardly have any partners before. So pre-selection makes kinda sense here. If we're talking about guys around 20 or so, not so much. I mean, everybody's gotta start somewhere.

Also, there sure is a peak of pre-selection after which it has more of the opposite effect. Makes you wonder if he can't commit, if he's just a player looking for quick fun, and so on.

lilaqua · Answer

Really depends. It's nice to know someone you're interested in is attractive and liked by the opposite gender, but I think your reasoning is wrong. For me it's about having a partner that is approved by the women in my life, to have that person fit into my pre-existing life. I don't really connect my value to the person I'm dating.

CarpetDenim · Answer

I can’t speak for other women but personally a guy who has slept with more than one or two people is an instant turn off

beebella · Answer

Maybe to other women, but personally, I've never been attracted to a guy just because a lot of other girls find him attractive. It's actually a bit of a turn off for me, tbh.

xxCutySarahxx · Answer

Like everything related to psychology, there is a nature vs nurture debate. Till the day we can proven things perfectly, we can't say it is either real or not.

monkeynutts · Answer

It's true, girls see that another girl likes the guy, he is attractive, he must not be a axe murderer, and she now wants the guy. It only works with a certain type of woman, probably half the population. The fastest way to get into a three way is to have two girls hanging off you, your girlfriend and her side kick who is helping you pick up other women, I don't do this anymore, but I have been a very bad boy.

Jarre12345 · Answer

But its ok for theses women to hookup with guys since they were 13 in high school unitl they hit the wall in their 30s with 5 baby daddies with that be couple of hundred of other dudes on top of that its ok for that part buy its not ok with a guy that has done the same? And anyway these types of women saying it's gross and won't go out with him when he has 20 women that would go out with him still. Why lie?: yet again obviously they see a single guy with nobody in his life won't even get a reply.

Ishtar6yyyt · Answer

I didn’t watch the video. If your hovering your hands over it yes, but in a real relationship you could say that is a makes up a small precent In the initial part yes but I think there is other things that goes with it and the values change depending on the age of the person and the religion ship

AwesomeCookie · Answer

@Toad-1 if it's real it's really gross. I am less attracted to a man who has a lot of female admirers or has had a lot of sexual partners... Makes me 2nd guess their character.

levantine99 · Answer

Don't ask the fish about fishing. it doesn't work that way. but if i were to betray my own kind and spill the secret beans... yeah its true. if he is discreet about it though and not cocky or compulsive.

englisc · Answer

It's true but like many things women usually don't understand it or admit it if they know it's true.

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

The most interest women ever showed me at any time in my life was when I was married or had a girlfriend.

mooky06 · Answer

Well i wouldn’t be surprised if that were real. Kind of sad in a way

dragonfly6516 · Answer

I don't know if it's real because that wouldn't work for me.

damoM · Answer

I would just say that women automatically do an independent evaluation - but validation from other women makes them think much higher of a man.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Maybe men who are popular and social in general rather than just popular with women.

Wwwyzzerdd · Answer

Yes, just like a bank loan a man must be pre-qualified.

villageidiot · Answer

Have you ever wondered why there are so many unhappy women out there. God I'm glad I stopped dating!

Slim57 · Answer

Of course it is. And of course it's not true for all women but a lot I would say.

candycanehearts · Answer

mm I think it is real

Izumiblu · Answer

Yeah it’s real.

Máiiréad · Answer

I won’t deny it.

JSmuve · Answer

It is very true. I've experienced it first hand.

fenixx0083 · Answer

I think it's true *to a degree*

LegateLanius · Answer

I have no idea. I've never been liked at all.

Tohhru · Answer

Ye that's why us uglies are single

CoffeeWC · Answer

I believe it's real

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