Why do women tear down other women?

Question

I mean, come on. I guess I’m just a private person because truthfully, I don’t give a fudge about what other women or even men do with their life. I don’t care what they do to their bodies, family, friends. It’s not my business, simple as that. But I see women left and right judging other women for many random things!! Like what they’re wearing, how much money they make, who they’re dating, their behavior (in which affects you in no way in the freakin least!), their appearance. Like jeez, you live your life and I’ll live mine. What an awful way to live! Just sitting there being all grumpy and spiteful, judging people instead of, I don’t know, living your life? Gosh, even as a woman women confuse me sometimes🤦🏼‍♀️

Appless · Accepted Answer

Women are crazy, myself included. We thrive off tearing down someone else in the hope it’ll make us happy. But, this is only due to a reoccurring cycle. One woman will make another woman upset so this woman will carry on this trend. We’re constantly hurting each other and then blaming it on the other gender. If a woman posts a provocative picture- she will be taken down by other women.

Now, similar to what another answer said. There is definitely a difference between being mean and being honest. When it comes to close friends especially, I want the best for them. If one of my friend posts a practically half naked picture of herself on the Internet, I will take action. This isn’t due to hatred or jealousy, it’s because I don’t want her to be taken advantage of or spoken badly about.

Overall, women are like this because we’re brought up having the same standards. We all want to look “pretty” and will therefore tear anything down to get to that.

Melodie_Flowers · Accepted Answer

Thank you!
Hun, I'm the same way. I stay out of peoples buisness, and honestly it's sickening to see other females tearing apart their friends, or people they know, trying to give advice about dating, and who / who's not good for them, etc.
People in general have become very judgmental now a days, and it's sad.

I love my friends, and I'm not going to insult someone I meet, or be rude or ignorant to another woman just because of they way she's dressed, or how she looks physically. There's SO much more to a person than that!
Props to you hun for being sincere, and a decent human being <3

ManFrom1982 · Accepted Answer

There is actually a practical, sociological, and psychological reason they do this, especially if your context is them actually talking to others about another woman: competition.

It's a method of using one's own influence to tear down another woman's status with others. The more threatening the target is, the more extreme this form of character destruction can order become, especially if the woman doing the destruction happens to be very attractive (sexually or socially) herself (i. e. she has something to lose because she has a status of her own to maintain.

Men do this too. They will try to get their friend groups to exclude other men that they feel somehow threatened by and will even use physical intimidation or displays of wealth to reduce a rival's status or get them to submit.

This stuff is almost instinctual. Once you have some social status, you'd be surprised how tempting it becomes to engage in.

Loverpool · Accepted Answer

Great post. I see that all the time. I think it goes back to evolution, all the cavewomen fighting over the toughest caveman so they & their kids have the best chance to survive the sabre tooth tigers! Nowadays Brain beats brute strength but most girls follow that retarded behaviour. Go for a big bad boy & put up with being abused etc. You are highly intelligent for questioning it. If You don't follow the other sheep, You may well end up with a fantastic life with a winner of a guy, not a scumbag thug.

EmergingAlpha · Answer

It is done for social standing reasons.

TL;DR? It's human nature, and there's not much you can do about others doing it.

Women rely upon social standing in a fundamental way. Without approval of the tribe, their children would die and they would die during childbirth. Run that psychology for hundreds of generations and you have heavily ingrained human psychological needs to have and improve social standing.

Women cannot fight physically. I do not mean that in the literal sense, but in a practical way. They cannot resolve disputes using violence in any sustainable way--it risks their reproductive success in inviolable ways. Men are expendable in this way, biologically. For much of our evolutionary history, it was one man mating with several women (like 17 women). Run this psychological scenario over hundreds of generations.

What emerges are two distinct ways to increase reproductive success. The male strategy of high risk, high reward disposability for most, dominion for few is one. The female strategy of go along to get along, but orient the tribe against rivals is the other.

Welcome to your species, enjoy the stay.

Blunique · Answer

Jealousy. They say guys get over differences by fighting each other physically. But women fight each other mentally and emotionally and they never get over it. I've never tore a chick down or made her feel bad. I was and still am shy and introverted. I kept to myself. I did get bullied in high school by overweight girls and random dudes for being skinny though. At one of my jobs there were only guys and two women including myself. I would try to bond with her and she was always so cold and disinterested with me. But she would go out of her way to have long conversations with the guys and she was so friendly with them. The guys would try to leave the conversation to go and work and she would try to force them to stay. I learned the hard way to stay away from her because I thought maybe she was having a rough day but she was like that to me all the time. But I noticed it's usually the insecure ones that are mean.

SaskiaBlueRaySoul · Answer

hey well done you and i hear you, if i made a guess jealousy is the strongest cause. I make efforts if i see a female and think something positive about her, maybe her hair for instance I've seen a lot of amazing ladies showing their natural grey hair its so beautiful i can't help myself to tell them... women claim to want the right of freedom but seeing it in others actually using it, living it creates negative responses, jealousy is the shadow of greed, a saying i once heard and very true... xx

Guanfei · Answer

Because women are very competitive, and while men don't quite like to see or hear that another guy is better, many women actuelly can't accept that anyone could be as good or better, and will do anything to show they're better than other women.
As a guy, I could see that when you tell a woman she's pretty. Immediately, any other woman who would be near will think that if a man finds a woman pretty, then he thinks ALL the other women are ugly. As if there was only one girl who could be pretty in the entire world and dominate the rest, like some kind of chosen one of prettiness.

_lauren_ · Answer

Because society has designed us to be like this. Existing systems understand that if you put marginalized people against one another you prevent them from realizing their true social power. Women are treated very strangely by society if we're tomboyish then we're told were not feminine enough. If we're girly then we're called airheads. If we're smart then we're fake geek girls and if we're not smart then were shallow. We romanticize this idea that if you're "not like other girls" then you're better than other girls. Of course women attack each other when every type of women is viewed as "not good enough"

AlienChickk · Answer

I don’t understand it really either. I will say I have personally made assumptions on someone based on those things, but its part of human nature. I let them do their own stuff, and I do mine as you said. I don’t interfere with their life. I don’t really understand why some people revolve their world around judging people or stirring up drama.

leMadPotterHattress · Answer

I recall reading/hearing something that actually made sense... Don't recall the exact quote, but it basically said that it's a learned behavior from society. Something to do with keeping women from all uniting.

The original info source made a lot more sense lol 😅

Goodwifie · Answer

I've been judged by other women for being skinny after having babies.
I had a woman tear me down when I volunteered to run our local play group. She didn't the way that I was running it but instead of treating me like crap and back stabbing me she could've just helped me.

wankiam · Answer

here's a short public information film on the subject

MimiHashima · Answer

Some of it jealousy, some believe it heightens their self worth, puts them above others (which it does not; makes them go down from what people have seen as maybe a 10 or 8 - 2) territory kind of thing, building their self esteem off of it, had previous issues in the past and unfairly take it out on others around them... though this is not only some women believe it or not, it’s some men too.

LadyDahliaS · Answer

In my opinion, women tear down other women because they are insecure about how they look or their lives. If a lady sees someone living a better life, they tend to envy it and try to make themselves look like they have the perfect life.

ChosenBeauty · Answer

Very True... I love Females From a Distance most of the Time it's the Insucure Ones. I feel we are All Beautiful and Unique and I let anyone Know With Each Chance I Get.. We are All on The Same Journey Just Different Walks That Leads to The Same Destination 💕💯

exhaustedfromlife · Answer

I agree with ChronicThinker, there's a difference between being mean and criticism. Being mean is someone just saying really harsh things for no reason. Criticism is when you point what's wrong with that person is doing especially if they make it public. Women tear each other down because of jealousy or competition or they're insecure or think they're all high and mighty.

Anonymous · Answer

Insecurities. Women compare themselves, in their mind, with other women, it’s almost inevitable and can relate to it, sort of, when I see a Abercrombie and Fitch Model Ad, and think... damn! “I need to do more stomach crunches, I wonder if that asshole has to work at it, as much as I do?” I think it’s like that but amplified, volume is turned up full blast, us guys don’t dwell on it really, but only example, I can think of, where i can understand

Tideo568 · Answer

I know this is a common thing. But one time I had been bullied by this kid and sat alone in a corner crying. When I opened my eyes 20 girls were sitting around and comforting me. I thought they all hated me because they ignored me , but when push comes to shove they were there for me.

outside_Toronto · Answer

I think the simple answer is jealousy. It's just wired into them from day one.
Everywoman that acts this way is figuratively screaming for attention. When another female comes along that could potentially take the attention from her, she freaks out.

ravedave · Answer

Jealousy and "moral" superiority.

People shit on others because it makes them feel better about their own sad lives, so they pick on people who don't follow their own idea of what's "right" and "wrong"

CandacePerry · Answer

Jealously. Someone gaming skill or another woman they might get her man for no reason just seem higher than her. it did happen to me . one girl that I used to befriend with went after my asshole ex-bf when we were together. She didn't listen to means she knows that he was taken at that time. I caught him cheating dumped him and move on someone better and dumped that girl as a friend she is now an ex-friend.

wizkid828 · Answer

Full disclaimer not everything applies to everyone, what I'm about to say. But that's how our culture has taught young women that they need to reach a certain standard of beauty to obtain what they want. You see the makeup commercials or the glamorizing of having a big butt, not all but most women at least in America feel the need to reach that standard to obtain a man, and the worst part is there are a good portion of men that one that, but there are a lot of men that do not care about that at all. And a lot of women fell to realize that. But the fact that you're asking this question, shows that you don't fall into this category.

bubbles328 · Answer

Tis true
I feel the same way as you, so long as their behaviour doesn’t hurt anyone else who cares?

Best thing you can do is find a few good solid friends then when you come across negative people who cares? There’s no purpose for them in your life

Nesto1000 · Answer

I think that most women subconsciously want to be validated and feel like they're better than everyone else. In order to achieve that they talk bad about everyone else in order to try and convince the person they are talking to. At least that's what I believe from my last ltr.

Anonymous · Answer

Disagree strongly , if anything there is a strong inter female gender solidarity , that males do not have. Women are far more negative towards men , than other women , they very quickly gang up on men in most situations , most Western women view men as inferior , sex crazed morons , women constantly bad mouth " their man " behind his back.

jessture · Answer

Yeah the way women treat each other in the workplace is appalling. When is feminism going to address this?

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Competition. Men do it with other men too. Only insecure people do this and they do it cause they wanna feel superior to their peers

Bluedream13 · Answer

well it's a good mechanism if used properly. Women are supposed to shame and excommunicate the sluts so that we can all have a better more civilized society. Now the mechanism has been reversed though... and sluts shame the non sluts into losing their virginity to some fuckboi... the world is topsy turvy these days

General_Titipong · Answer

I think it's weakness or something some women start complaining the moment they see a woman wear something too revealing fearing she could possibly steal they're man or something.
there's a channel on YouTube called redetv where some hot chicks approach a couple and reveal too much... boy do those girls get pissed

kennajackson · Answer

It's a competition, if one woman makes another woman feel insecure about herself they think they have a leg up because they still feel confident about themselves

ImSoSquishy · Answer

some men will also do the same thing to other men. they're toxic, salty, jealous, insecure, childish, and overall just being a hater because you have what they don't have and their lazy asses full of excuses will never be able to have what you have.

debi2622 · Answer

If they do that, then they are insecure. Tearing down another makes them feel better about themselves.

A-man-22 · Answer

Every woman is different so of course they are going to disagree sometimes.
When they disagree they tend to try to make the other more like them or lesser than. Them to gain a sense of superiority.

It's way more common in guys nowadays, with WRA and feminism women work better with each other.

I have seen some guys on here who will dislike you just because you have a lack in confidence or are and introvert.

Swimmerdude2013 · Answer

I think some women do that because they are very insecure about themselves and it makes them feel better.

Drinkingcoffee · Answer

I don’t care, until I’m around my fiancé. Then every woman within a mile of him is a harpy.  Otherwise, I’m all for it. Feminism! Sexuality!

Jjpayne · Answer

It could be many reasons, to make themselves feel better, to make them feel they are not as bad as others, to gain status, selfish reasons like stealing boyfriend's etc but the main thing is they are not emotional stable or thinking in a normal way.

pHantom115 · Answer

AFUCKINGMEN BROTHER i have never been able to wrap my head around this weird animostiry between 90 peecent of all females. Lol it baffles me and i dont like it because thats why sausagefests are so prevalent in todays culture

Ouroboros8Fate · Answer

Because a lot of women are very competitive in being the center of attention. They love gossip and will be your best friend to your face and worst enemy behind your back. They enjoy comparing themselves to others and want to shine the above the rest.

djmzes · Answer

Competition and pure immaturity

NineBreaker · Answer

Women are people. People compete in everything; hence women compete with other people, which includes other women. It's in our nature to tear each other down. It's not a good thing. It just is what it is.

Leafpool2 · Answer

Internalized misogyny. Once you get over that shit life is so much better

dontgofalling · Answer

Some women can be awful cause they consider themselves better, but most of the time they're very unconfident, and think badly of themselves and cover that up by criticizing other people.
But when someone will tell them something, thry will tear down and feel ashamed (if she's strate then if a guy did, or if a big group of girls did)... I don't encourage making them feelimg bad, but I also don't encourage bulling in any form

Kenni · Answer

That is why i rarely have female friends. They can be so immature and stupid. I only ever felt really comfortable around guys.

Anonymous · Answer

Because of something that women seldomly admit.. They are fiercely competitive with their own gender. So a woman that feels threatened by you will tear you down, insult you, and all around just be mean to you.

Logorithim · Answer

Happens all the time. Jealousy or competitiveness, take your pick.

RuthAnn1781 · Answer

To try and make them feel better about themselves because they're stupid

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Why do girls fight (fisticuffs)? Mystery of nature.  All I know is that in my country: -The fights are usually over a guy or over something silly; -Guys who see them are usually turned on.

Narumeuas · Answer

I hear conversations like that between women and try to avoid those girls as much as possible. Cause they seem judgmental from a distance, just imagine how judgmental they would be if they noticed you and were up close. Yeesh.

Pamina · Answer

I only ever hear about this, rarely do I ever encounter it. Here's a little advice: Start hanging out with cooler people in general and you won't have to bother with shit like that.

ErinStiltz24 · Answer

In my experience, women are mostly awful, spiteful, negative, really just hateful people almost all the damn time!! It's why I barely have like, any real friends. But honestly, I truly do believe it has a lot to do with making themselves feel better somehow. When they tear other women down, somehow it makes them feel better about themselves. Do NOT ask me how but it does. And it sucks!! That's my opinion.

opurba · Answer

All the married woman bounded to fucked new guy to take revenge from their husbands. All the life they fucked but never enjoyed but now they r going fucked their chosen one coz they realised they never fallen in love.

Anonymous · Answer

Because competition is a bitch! lol! They're basically just being competitive for mates.

BuchitaBuchys · Answer

Because she has bigger tits than me and it makes me feel even more insecure since mine are small. My man will probably look at them. It's not a hard concept to grasp.

tysthename · Answer

In my opinion it's for the same reasons guys do it to each other, they feel threatened and as cliche as it may sound a lot of times it has to do with personal insecurities as well.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

They hate competition. Ask a black man about other blacks when he becomes successful... same story bro.

kaskas19 · Answer

Competition and insecurity. It's dumb. I feel much better uplifting women.

benjamintk · Answer

There is many statistics where women said that they only take makeup and look pretty to me the prettiest one. So women actually Think that other women is a kinda competition to be the one all guys go after. That my thoughts about this topic :)

dolemite68 · Answer

I think women are just very competitive when it comes to looks and their ability to get the men they want

qwertykeyboardirldub · Answer

Women can be competitive too they just lack the strength to be as voilent as men so it ends up as pent up unfulfilled aggression

Jackieboi · Answer

Because you cant/wont physically fight like we can/do, so you use words instead

MLGbreezy · Answer

I've stopped trying to understand the mind of a female long ago

MindTime · Answer

I think some get jealous and get back at people by trying to make then feel down

Steve37 · Answer

Some people build themselves up by tearing others down. I think this is more common among women than men.

Why do women tear down other women?

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