Why don't nice, non-disabled, not ugly, people have any real friends usually?

[Anonymous]

Why do you think that is?

Growing up (during the 90's but especially in the 00's and beyond) women were often gossipy and catty and petty towards me. I know I shouldn't have taken it too personally but why don't women just be NICE to one another and support each other instead of TEARING them down? ! I NEVER WANTED to take their man or be the prettier one, like come on lol. Life is MORE than that shallow shit!

Just makes me sad, made me sad that people put me into those types of category of rival when they really shouldn't have? !

Anyone have any thoughts on this phenomenon? ! I thought that when you get older, things like this STOPPED? !

I am almost in my 40's and have yet to be able to fully TRUST a woman in that sense without me thinking that they are only nice to me because they are getting PAID to be, or they have some ulterior motive! I can't help it, it's from personal life experience that I feel this way!

[inhua]

there's societal benefits for people to be around good-looking abled people. attractive people don't hang around unattractive people because it reduces their attractiveness. that's why celebs associate with celebs, millionaires with millionaires, average people with average etc.

that being said when someone in the upper-echelon falls down a peg, they'll quickly find out who their real friends really are.

[Cedman]

Because people generally aren't nice if they gain nothing from it. I would say reach out to some one and get really friends/ support. That sounds like they though you were pretty and were rude as you were a treat to them. Racism and classism can also be factors

[Anonymous]

You’re speaking for yourself, and just because you went through it doesn’t make it a phenomenon, no offense. I don't know why you dealt with so much cattiness and jealousy, but I didn’t really go through that and if I did then it wasn’t said to my face.

[Asker]

Actually, it IS a phenomenon so you're wrong, otherwise, they wouldn't have even made a whole MOVIE about it! Ever heard of Mean Girls from 2004? ? ! Exactly.

Also, I saw these people on YouTube with no friends and they post about it/make a video about it!

If that hasn't happend to you, then, for the sake of being helpful why don't you, just tell me what you do differently! If you are able!

www.psychologytoday.com/.../why-are-women-so-mean-each-other

www.quora.com/Why-are-women-so-mean-to-each-other

www.psychologytoday.com/.../why-are-some-women-nasty-other-women

And many more SOURCES online. In fact I probably should have done that instead of ask here!

[Opinion Owner]

Lol are you usually this aggressive and defensive in your commentary? If so then it explains why you don’t have friends, and that’s just an observation but I’m sure you’ll take it the wrong way. I never said that women being mean and catty doesn’t happen, but since it’s a reoccurring “phenomenon” for you, have you ever stoped to think that maybe you’re the problem? You don’t seem very pleasant to be around...

[Asker]

Lol you're the one assuming the worst in me. You don't know me well enough to be able to decide those things. So I'm guessing you like being mean to strangers online and insulting them just because it fits whatever narative you think is correct about me! Well FUCK YOU!

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t need to make assumptions, you’re doing a great job of digging a hole all on your own. Fuck you too, random stranger. ❤️

[Opinion Owner]

Also, it’s absolutely incredible that you could call me “mean”, when you’re the one yelling, cussing at me first, and being so incredibly rude lol that won’t win you any friends. Practice being a kinder person.