Guys: Do you view loner as a red flag?

What do you think of girls who are extreme loners and go to events alone and do other activities alone? I'm talking about the loners that are not shy at all and are actually very social. They're are the type of loners that makes friends easily but always choose not have close friends and rather just have acquaintances that she never have to stay in contact with. These types of girls are very comfortable exploring places and new things by themselves. So, would you still consider "social" loners a red flag? Why or why not? Ladies feel free to answer as well if your a loner yourself. Guys: Do you view loner as a red flag?
  • Yes, a loner or having an "extreme" loner personality is a red flag in the long run
    Vote A
  • No, a loner is not a red flag at all
    Vote B
  • It depends on how much you like the girl? (Pleas explain, if you chose this option)
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girl

  • it depends on how much you like that girl. For ex. to some even goth girls would be a turn off, but that attribute her lover could be secretly in love with. Being lonely has two reasons:
    1) she's antisocial
    Boy, does she want to burn the world attitude. She's got the weird vibes going on, could be stalker and might a hundred percent insecure which isn't attractive at all. Looks unapproachable or is just socially awkward.

    For all y'know, other than that, she possibly can be yandere who murders whenever any person gets closer to her crush.

    You better not catch her eye.

    2) she's asocial
    Some people just are introverts enough who are looking forward to escape from reality, a little pessimistic, but over all a great person once they open up.

    They might be unpopular due to shyness, don't let it hold you back!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So you mean someone confident in herself and isn't so insecure she needs her bffs to go anywhere? Major turn on

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Well, as a "loner" myself i can quite relate. I prefer going to events alone and do things alone because that way i don't have to accommodate to other's needs and compromise - i can do stuff just the way i like it! Also, people are unreliable, they change opinions and plans all the time and often don't know what they want themselves. I don't have patience for that nonsense. So I have to choose between task-orientation and people-orientation. And the result depends on a mood.
    Guys don't like that. I noticed that they like to feel needed and irreplaceable. So usually if i have some task to do - and i don't care if it's done efficiently - i'll delegate it to my boyfriend. Like - if i want a new makeup item and i know he doesn't know what to get me for holidays - i'll hint about it. Or if i'm craving sushi - i'll tell him and propose an outing even though i'd honestly prefer to stay in and order a takeout. but you know... Have to invent stuff for the relationship's sake

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  • It depends. If she would still prefer to often go alone to things when we are together, I'd see that as a red flag. Of course it's not like I want her to only do things with me. It 100% fine if she wants to go somewhere alone, more power to her. But if she PREFERS to go alone than with me, it becomes a problem

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  • A person who would rather do things alone would not be the person for someone who likes to socialize because they would probably have to go to a lot of events by themselves as the loner would rather stay home. You don't call someone a lone wolf for no reason.

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  • No, it's green flag. However, going to some events and stuff is red flag.

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    • Do you mind explaining more on why you feel going to events alone is a red flag. I'm just curious to know.

    • Curiosity is appreciated.
      This is kind of hard to explain, so forgive my poor job.
      I am introvert. And just like with muslims, you have regular muslims, and then you have super extremist, militants. I am one of those, just not muslim, but introvert. What that means, is I seriously dislike being in large group of people, I have when someone sits next to me in the bus (like "excuse me, I don't know you, fuck off" (but don't worry, I know how PT works)). Besides that, I hate loud noises. There is nothing about having everything loud. Yeah, everyone can hear that. But what about hearing quiet noises? That's where it's at.
      And just…going among people I don't know, for some event or whatever? No. Abso-fuckin-lutely not.
      Like…the idea of being somewhere, lice concert, or festival or stuff like that, that is horror. I don't know, why people go there. I like comfort of my home. No people, no disturbance, nothing (almost, I don't live alone, sadly). And I like that. I love my bed. I love just lying down, in darkness and quiet and either sleep or falling to sleep. I don't like the opposite: not being able to sleep.

  • Being with a girl like that is not always fun... her reasoning can become very one dimensional and 'stuck in a certain way'... She only has herself to please and never really has to go above and beyond for someone else to a point that one naturally develops a close relationship that is undeniable... like a sister or brother even

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  • Nah means she's pretty cool and knows her own mind, does what she wants and isn't bothered about following what other people do. I almost fall into the male version of this

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  • I'm also a "loner" so it's actually attractive to me. Also she have more time for me if she doesn't have a lot of friends in her life taking up her time! lol

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  • Describing yourself? Just trying to fit in?
    Just sounds like you're an introvert. Nothing wrong with that, although the 75% of the population - both genders - that are extroverts definitely think there is. ;)

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  • a loner is someone who doesn't like themselves enough to open up and someone who people dont like to be associated with. So yes, if he or she is a loner there is something wrong with them and you should stay away for good measure

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  • It’s only a red flag if she expects me to spend 24/7 with her. As in she has zero hobbies of her own.

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  • Being a loner is a good sign that you are not brainwashed along with society.

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  • It isn't a red flag but it does give me an impression of her. Usually Neutral to negative depending on how she acts.

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  • I'm a big loner, I think it is a red flag. Guys still come around me though... Go figure lol

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  • Not exactly. I mean, it's not great to not have friends. But in this day and age, it can be rather difficult to find GOOD friends.

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  • Not at all. She likes her own company. Nothing wrong with that.. I love my own company too

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  • I don't see that as a "red flag," but I do assume that a girl like that doesn't want anything to do with men or relationships.

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  • I'm a major loner can't make friends and a bit aloof. But that doesn't matter to men... if they like u they dont trip on silly shit

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  • What you just described sounds like someone who is rather average in trait extroversion, as a result of being rather high in the assertiveness aspect, but low in the enthusiasm aspect--to balance out.

    I am actually somewhat like that myself, but in a partner, I would much prefer the reverse: high in enthusiasm, but low enough in assertiveness to make her an introvert overall.

    My fear with people such as the one you described is that she simply wouldn't be physically (or emotionally, for that matter) affectionate enough to satisfy my needs in a romantic relationship--especially if she also happened to be low in trait agreeableness, particularly the compassion aspect.

    To summarize: knowing this, I would be skeptical of our compatibility, but I would have to see for myself in order to know for certain whether or not it was a dealbreaker.

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  • It's technically not. But I'd expect her to not want to see me and spend time with me much, which would be a problem in a relationship

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  • I have dated several girls like that. I don't consider it a red flag.

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  • Isn't it funny that women make a big deal about it but men don't?

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    • I mean, think about it, it's an excellent example that the LAST person any woman wants to ask about men is ANOTHER WOMAN! Men say it doesn't bother them in the least if a woman is a loner. Women say that men would see it as a big "red flag".

      WOMEN ARE CLUELESS ABOUT WHAT MEN WANT! And who do they ask when they want to understand men? THEY ASK OTHER WOMEN!

  • No she might just be an introvert, don't judge a book by its cover.

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  • No, some of the coolest girls I've met were traveling by themselves.

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  • a loner has a lot of baggage and a lot of pain-as well as intimacy issues.

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  • It might give me Pause if they don’t have friends cause it could be a reason.

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  • I had ex girlfriend like that and I find it super attractive trait. Amazing quality

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  • Not really.
    A loner can't be turned off of a loner.

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  • i don't think it's a red flag.

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  • Nope,

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  • Those aren't loners!

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  • Loners <3

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  • Not at all. I see it as a bonus.

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  • Probably a future mass shooter.

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  • I actually never met anyone like that

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  • Not saying you necessarily have it, but look into Schizoid Personality Disorder (I have it)

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    • No don't worry, I'm not offend. This behavior actually applies to me and have looked for explainations for it in the past and the disorder you listed was a possible diagnostic. I've been meaning to visit a psychologist, maybe I'll finally do it this year. Thank you for commenting 😀

  • Not at all, if anything it shows confidence and independence, good on her!

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