What does is mean, when a person doesn’t look at you during a conversation?

[cakelover101]

Last night me and two other girls had a really long and deep conversation about eating disorders, because one of the two girls probably has one and we’ve noticed, but she has never wanted to talk about it until recently when she started opening up to us about it.

All three of us actively participated in the conversation, but the girl who has an eating disorder only looked at the other girl and not at me the entire time, even though we all talked. When she was talking she only looked at the other girl and not me. She didn’t seem mad at all though. And she and I are actually better friends than we are with the other girl.

Why wouldn’t she look at me then? We always have deep conversations, when it is just the two of us.

Why do you think she barely looked at me the whole time? Do you think it’s because she was more interested in hearing what the other girl had to say? Or wanted her approval more than mine?

[SexyAshh]

Honestly she was probably embarressed. I think thats a way of guarding themselves, has nothing to do with the advice given, maybe it was just harder for her to look you in the eyes and hear it.

I've had one in the past and know its a very sore subject and still struggle most days, you dont just get over it. But im definatly more open to actually talking about it and helping others in the same boat. She may just need to process for a bit. It took me 5 years after the fact to be okay with it.

Hope this helps❤️☺️

[cakelover101]

Thank you this is great advice❤️ It makes a lot of sense. She didn’t seem to have a problem looking the other girl in the eyes though, but maybe with me she felt that way, because we are closer? Or what do you think?

[SexyAshh]

Definatly!. I think its harder to hurt the ones closer and to see their dissappointed

[Neeceeb7]

Usually that they are shy or depending o. Their up bringing that they where taught not to look you I. The eye many reasons come to mind

[OlderAndWiser]

Embarrassment. Why wouldn't you discuss this with her in private?

[cakelover101]

I’ve talked to her about it many times in private, but as people with an eating disorder often do, they tend to go into defense mode and won’t hear it. But last night she brought it up herself and the flood just started going and she talked and talked and I could tell she felt it was nice to finally get it out. The gates where finally opened. So she initiated the conversation with us both. I’m going to have dinner with her later today just the two of us. Should I talk to her about it or wait for her to bring it up if she feels like talking about it?

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay, that makes sense now.

She wants to talk about it but still feels embarrassed. Perhaps you should just say, "I'm glad that you started talking about (anorexia, bulimia, whatever) last night. It's important for you to talk about it and I'm glad that you trust me enough to get beyond being defensive. Whenever you want to talk some more, I'm here to listen without being judgmental. . . ''cause that's what friends are for." And then maybe give her a hug, and wait for her to respond and initiate more conversation on that subject.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[CT_CD]

You're intimidating

[cakelover101]

Why would I be intimidating though?