Girls Invading their BF's cell phone?

Question

I heard of many women who cannot stand to have a relationship where the guy is unwilling to let her ravage through his phone. Personally, I think these girls are paranoid and insecure, and cannot be trusted themselves.

I want your take, ladies. Why must you do this? The idea of it just annoys the snot out of me.

loyalgirlfriend · Accepted Answer

omg, I am guilty as charged, haha! and I actually consider myself to be sane and a loving loyal gal in a healthy relationship. but that's only because my new boyfriend knows that I needed a little bit of understanding and patience to make sure he was loyal to me. he let me check his computer/phone/Facebook only because I had a candid conversation with him that I did not distrust HIM just that my ex had cheated and I was very weary and sceptical of guys. he was okay with it because he knows my ex-boyfriend that had cheated on me and hates him for it. so he was supportive of my need at that time to make sure he wasn't like the previous guy. I made sure to apologize in advance and tell him he was a good sport and that I appreciated it.. . but yeah, curiosity just kills the cat. I felt terrible when I checked it. it only got my mental wheels turning to some "possibility" or "what if?" or hmmmm, I wonder what this text meant, or who is this person? but each time I just made myself feel worse so I stopped. and anyways, when I looked in the phone it just proved to me that my new boyfriend IS honest. and I choose to think positive instead of negative or insecurely. so it taught me a lesson. But yeah, I know it's a tough topic because on one hand a girl should have the right to know and feel reassured, but then again, they wouldn't be doing it if they felt secure and trusting and didn't need to scrutinize or invade another person's space and privacy. so it's kind of wrong onthe other hand.

LittleMissGriff · Accepted Answer

Personally, when I look at my boyfriend's phone, it's never with any intent. Usually I'm bored and I'm flipping through his pictures and he's sitting next to me. I'm not looking for cheating or how many girls are in his phone. I don't think I've ever gone through his text messages, but I might have, idly. For me, it's like flipping through someone's movie collection. I really don't care what's there. I might laugh over how many 'Katie's he knows, but it's not because they're female. It's because, seriously dude, there are seven 'Katie's here! Do they all have brothers named 'Larry', 'Larry', and 'Joe'?

Of course, that means I have no issue letting my boyfriend do the same. He can look at anything on my phone. Go for it, free reign. I have nothing sitting in there my mother couldn't see. I don't really see cellphones as 'EXTREME PRIVACY' areas. Cellphones are left places every day. It just seems silly to me to keep anything exceedingly personal on them. It would be like keeping your social security number written on the back.

Of course, if a boyfriend told me in a reasonable manner hat he DOES think it's very personal, I would respect that. However, if he starts yelling at me for snooping in his stuff, I'd assume he was hiding something and boot him. I have no patience for paranoid histrionics, one way or another.

minerva_milano · Accepted Answer

Those are my thoughts:

Most of time they don't trust you, and I always say that when we don't trust or spend the day wondering if he's doing something wrong is because WE ARE.

Lack of trust and insecure behavior are reflections of our own actions...

With time you realize that even being a COUPLE you guys are INDIVIDUALS, then you'll learn to live with their individuality, and respecting their space... I think the "all that yours is mine and all that's mine is mine, bullsh***" - that's why some people can't be happily ever after... that's why divorce is getting so common nowadays...

Just MY THOUGHTS...

jfromj · Accepted Answer

I would be willing to show a girl my phone because I have nothing to hide, but I would not be willing to give out my phone if the girl asked first.

A little story to tell you how much I dislike girls that are nosy: I was dating my neighbor, and one day my phone went "mysteriously" missing after we had hung out. I waited a couple of hours, knocked on her door, and asked "have you seen my phone?" Her response "Nope", but the funny part was that I had my other neighbor call my phone after she answered the door. ha ha To no one's surprise, except hers, my phone rang in her apartment. Seriously? A girl that is my neighbor and a Christian is going to be that insecure and untrustworthy of a guy that is active in the church? Nonetheless, I cut all strings with her after this incident. Moral of the story: unless the guy is willing to show you his phone, do not look through it!

P.S. Do not date your neighbor even if she is really, really, good looking.

Jesterface195 · Accepted Answer

I had a girlfriend like this and she was SO scared and paranoid that I was gonna cheat on her it annoyed me but I understood where she was coming from and let her go through my phone DAILY. after awhile she stopped doing it and ironically she ended up cheating on me Hahah

beemad · Answer

people like that are just insecure. it doesn't mean that they can't be trusted it just means they don't trust others that's all. often something happened to them in the past perhaps a guy they were dating cheated on them and the girl got hurt real bad. they could have low self esteem and feel like they don't deserve the other person. maybe as a kid she witnessed her own parents affair and now doesn't trust anyone. who knows there are tons of illogical reason why people (both men and women) do this but it's always because the person is insecure about something

cary1391 · Answer

See what I don't get is that if the guy isn't hiding something then he should be fine giving his cell to his girlfriend! To me it has been proven that if a guy doesn't let me look at his fone he is doing something sneaky. And I'm not saying constatly checking the phone, just let me take a look it at it god what's the big deal if he's not doing anything! For example my ex fone was ringing and I was going to pick it up and he snatched it away from me... then he gave me some stupid explanation y he did that.

xxKillerxxKittyxx · Answer

I only looked through my boyfriends phone because he looked through mine.. sorry if he can do it ... hell yea I' going to... invade my privacy consider yours invaded too...

what did I find? a sh*t ton of random girls phone numbers.. when I found out he was going through my emails and facebook... I did the same what did I find?

conversations with tons of random girls..

he went through my computers history so I did the same to him what did I find?

-He was looking at more p*rn then there are childrens books

-he was joining adult dating sites

- he was looking at random girls profiles on facebook and such

so yea when I did it, appearantly it was a good thing found out my boyfriends a dirty slime ball... so yea.. I had gut feelings and looked...

let me guess if he and I were married and he was doing exactly that it'dbe OK because he's doing it on his own private time? right no... still wrong, still slimy

Eiffelgirl21 · Answer

Maybe they have been really hurt in the past?

I do not see anything wrong with it...UNLESS they

are looking through it ALL the time.

I would never look through my Bf's phone unless the following:

1) GOOD Reason to believe he cheated

2) He acted weird about me seeing his phone...like keeping it from me..(showing me a picture, but would not let me browse through them)

Something like that. If you have nothing to hide, what is the big deal? You should be one in your relationship. And, not have to hide anything.

minx101d · Answer

I am not proud of this but I did do it once to an ex.  His behavior and attitude changed, he became really secretive,  withdrawn, mean and resentful toward me for no reason.  His phone would ring and he would see who was calling, then leave the room before he answered it.  Closed his laptop in a panic as soon as I walked into the room, there was more but you get the idea.  His suspicious behavior led me to it and sure enough he was cheating.  I had asked him first whether he was cheating and even pointed out his suspicious behavior but he vehemently denied it.  I have never done it before and never since.  I would just leave now if a man started behaving like that again.  Take the high road this time.

LillyMay · Answer

I don't always agree people are not trusting due to their own actions.Im sure it happnes but sometimes there are warning signs,signals that someone we are with is acting sus

Sometimes we have caught them out before and its hard to trust again

Mostly I think its not OK to check others phone ..sometimes and only if we feel almost certain

that something is going on,it could be for self preservation.

I had a guy lie to me,he was acting odd,out of character and yep he was cheating,I only found out because I checked on an email.The woman told me he was on a dating site and had tried to contact her via email.I could only conclude she was one of many and he had probably been doing it for some time and most likely had met some of them.

If I didn't follow my instincts he would have kept it up and I though he was so honest,so straight up,so adoring of me.I believed he was a good guy.

FierceMegan · Answer

Tough question because it is like a Catch-22! Sometimes girls get suspicious because the man they are attracted to has a reputation of being a player (sometimes it is an insecurity too, but if it is a insecurity. Why wouldn't the man want to assure her that she really is the only one he wants? Sometimes the girl maybe looking for attention (even negative attention). If there is a particular reason why the man wouldn't want to share his cell phone, I think he must explain to her---in not a lot of detail---why he isn't ready for that step. I also believe if you're married you should share everything because you are a team. It depends what level the couple is on too. If you've been dating for a four months, I could understand not wanting to share your texts, you're not ready, but if you're dating for four years, I think, WTF are you hiding? I guess it all depends on the situation. Hope this helps. :o)

sexystarfishiguess · Answer

my ex-bf always wanted to do that and I didn't really understand why. now he's with a new girl and they're both the same kind of paranoid insecure type of people so they check each others phones and such and he saw her texting one of her ex's and flipped out on her. personally, I think that, whether it's a guy or a girl, it shows insecurity and a need to control the relationship.

on the other hand, sometimes its just curiosity. one time, I looked through his phone because I was curious as to what people he texted the most. so I think sometimes, it can be only curiosity, but in general it's insecurity

ShootingStar5 · Answer

The girls who do that are usually crazy and/or insecure. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my guy snooping around in my phone or e-mail (not because I have anything to hide, but because I like to have my privacy with some things and feel trusted), so I wouldn't do it to him either... Unless he gave me a really good reason to.

The only time I've ever been guilty of this is because I caught my ex snooping around in my phone first. It made me wonder why he couldn't trust me and I felt like maybe he had something to hide... Plus if you can't respect my privacy, why should I yours?

Anonymous · Answer

well not that I do it very much, but he should have nothing to hide and what's yours is mine baby.  but I am married but I've never gone through my guys cell or email etc.  The only thing I do do is that if it rings and I am closest to it I will grab it and reply back to whomever... and he finds it a bit annoying but whatever.  It's nothing big... hahaha I wouldn't care if he did it to my cell phone, no one ever calls me but my boss and him anyways.  and no one ever calls him except for people he works with.

viva_glow · Answer

Yes, those girls are paranoid and insecure. A girl shouldn't do that, as it is a crazy invasion of privacy. So if she does do it, you have every right to be pissed off.

Girls who do think it's okay to invade your cell phone... you should be avoiding them, they're clearly not the kind of girl you want.

haleyyyyy · Answer

it pisses me off when girls do that

it's like signing into his facebook and pretending to be him or lurking through his emails

they should just trust him and let his phone be private unless they're sure that he is being unfaithful

Anonymous · Answer

I didn't used to do it, until he cheated on me with a housemate and said he could talk to whomever he wanted.  As we have a kid together, I am staying to work it out; I check his phone every now and then to see if he's been messing around.  He doesn't know I check.  I'm beginning to feel less of an urge because, fortunately, he hasn't been calling or texting any other chicks. If he cheats on me again, or if he crosses the line more than he did last time, I'm gone.  I'd be brokenhearted, and frankly he could expose his child and me to STDs if he does.  So I need to be reassured that he's trustworthy.  At the moment, what I'm learning is that he watches p*rn more than he has sex with me.  But he doesn't know that I know that.  And he hides it from me, pretends he doesn't watch it at all, even though I've asked to watch it with him.  Oh well.  Better he watch p*rn than cheat on me again.

Anonymous · Answer

really I don't know why girls try going through their bfs phones. If they are doing something wrong, as if they are going to leave the messages from the other woman or whatever on the phone. Its so just stupid. And I would answer my bfs phone if it rang and like his in the shower or something. I would check the caller id and if its someone I knew I WOULD pick up and say hey. If I felt like it. Then id tell them his in the shower call back. No big deal.

And really who can be bothered sifting through all those messages and calls and whatever else? BORING.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree completely with everything you said.

I think some women like to control their men because they're afraid that if they don't have control over everything he does, he'll go off with some other woman.

I'm not the type and I would be FURIOUS if I found out my boyfriend went through my cell phone without my okay... and there's absolutely nothing on there that I would be worried about him seeing because I'm faithful, but it would just invade my space hardcore and I would then view him as a possessive weirdo, haha!

It's usually insecurity that prompts that kind of behavior, but in my eyes, it's absolutely inexcusable.

elifsu09 · Answer

This is a crazy invasion of privacy and I really don't think you can build a strong relationship without trusting one another. I have never once even dared to look over my boyfriends shoulder as he texted let alone invade his phone/Facebook/skype etc.

But then again I just found out my boyfriend of 4 years has been sexting some mutual "friend" of ours for the past two months so who knows... maybe those crazy bitches have it right.

xoxokellyxoxo · Answer

To look at your bf/gf's phone to me signals trust issues. I personally am big on trust. If your with someone you should give them the benifit and the doubt and trust them unless they gave you a reason not to. If you ever cheated or gave your wife a reason not to trust you, then I don't  blame her. once trust is broken it's hard to repair

Killfest400 · Answer

I wouldn't care if she looked through it (all I call are my family, my boss, and Domino's pizza), but if it's because she doesn't trust me, then we have a problem.  If she's too insecure to allow me even the privacy of my own things, then she has issues she needs to work out before she starts dating again.

theexoticfox · Answer

well I feel every guy or girl will do it at least once. I have done it and so has my boyfriend and to be honest I don't care, I'm not hiding anything so therefore I don't see the problem in it, if I had something to hide then maybe my opinion would be different.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never rifled through a boyfriend's phone, email, what have you. That's HIS business and I'd rather not know, to be perfectly honest. When I'm in a relationship with someone, I trust them. And I hope they extend that same courtesy to me. No point in being with someone if you're going to be insecure, not trusting and snoop.

SublimeMelody · Answer

The girls in question are probably pretty insecure. Hence the phone checking. Maybe the guy could help her out by making her feel a little more secure. If he's doing all that then it's ridiculous.

Anonymous · Answer

In the beginning of my relationship with my 1st love, I did go through his phone twice. Because I admit I was insecure. But after not finding anything I felt like an idiot and I felt bad. I also got mad at myself and promised myself not to do it again. Funny,  because this new guy I started talking to ...we are not together, just talking, said to me a while back "oh I haven't gone through your phone yet" lol I was like excuse me?! just thought that was funny..(but not really!)

selfishstars · Answer

I've never gone through my boyfriend's cell phone. I trust him and don't believe in invading people's privacy.

Ellena102 · Answer

Well some chicks feel the need to do this just to make sure their guy isn't cheating or flirting with other girls, or it could be that their fishing for compliments, wondering if you text any other guys/girls about her, but whatever goes I guess (:

My2CentsWorth · Answer

Maybe because there is too much sexting going on in the world?  Now days there seems to be no boundaries across relationships and flirting andcheating isn't considered bad by some people any more.  Relationships need commitment. If you don't have anything to hide, then what's the harm?  If you are married or serious then there should be no secrets.

morngunt · Answer

I have done it before maybe twice with my current boyfriend and I felt really bad after not finding anything...I had an ex cheat on me so I have trusting issues.

Chocobo93 · Answer

I'm not one of those women. If I'm dating a guy then I obviously trust that he doesn't have pictures of his last rape victim on his phone or something.

kmhco · Answer

Its only alright if the guy is allowed to go through the girl's phone as well. But mainly, that just sounds insane.

MsJuleya · Answer

they have trust issues  they prob have been hurt in the past from being cheated on or somthing like that

peace-love-couture · Answer

I can't stand people who do that. I need my privacy and I believe in giving others theirs

amatuer_zombie · Answer

a girl dare not touch my cellphone... its just too personal. I hate when girls lurk into a guys privacy

RockyHorror · Answer

That's not a cool thing to do, I wouldn't like someone getting into my privacy, so I wouldn't invade theirs.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't let him look through my phone. I don't really look at my boyfriends phone. It's more of a boredom thing, I'll press buttons and slide his phone.

abchuh · Answer

My boyfriend doesn't care that I do look in his phone and if I do find something we comfornt each other about it. The same for my phone. We talk out our problems.

sudher9025 · Answer

u'r right girls are insecure abt their relations

cuteina · Answer

A girl with worried very much is childish girl, I think.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't see why people feel the need to do this. Talk about an invasion of privacy.

kaitlovesyou · Answer

i have not done it and I ill not do it

Anonymous · Answer

unacceptable

Wasiq · Answer

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