If a woman is told she’s attractive but she’s always single, is that her fault/choice?

[Anonymous]

Or does that mean she’s not attractive overall?

Yes

No

[slatyb]

Nothing real to go on, so I'm just going to riff on your question -- see if any of this fits.

Told you're attractive by whom? Solicited opinions from friends are worthless -- what else would they say, especially girl friends. Would anyone you know say something like "Honestly? Your face is ok, your you've been wearing the same clothes and hairstyle since you were 15, and you could lose 25 pounds."

Are you getting no invitations at all? How many single guys do you meet? I knew one reasonably attractive 30-something who was still single (although if she wasn't careful she seemed to be heading toward about 200 pounds). She was pretty serious about Jesus and she was hoping to meet a guy at church. There are about zero single guys at church. And she would only date a professional -- accounting, law, medicine. Successful lawyers and doctors are mostly not into Jesus, and although she was reasonably intelligent, she wasn't in the doctor or high-powered lawyer category, so her quest was basically impossible. What she wanted either didn't exist or would be unlikely to be interested.

What about you? Where do you spend your time? To meet truly nice guys, volunteer for something like Habitat for Humanity. Or get involved in some outdoorsy meetup, like hiking, skiing, cycling, sailing, kayaking, etc. Or some co-rec sport like volleyball or kickball.

If you aren't in shape for any of those, or have no interest, then you aren't that attractive.

[Asker]

Strangers, men on dating apps, family, friends, friends of friends etc

[slatyb]

After saying you are attractive, do the strangers and men on dating apps ask you out after saying that? What happens when they do?

[abc3643]

I want you to think about this question:
================
If a man is told he’s attractive but he’s always single, is that his fault/choice?
Or does that mean he’s not attractive overall?
================

What do you think is the answer to that two-part question?

Whatever it is, that's the same answer to your question.

[abc3643]

In your poll, what does Yes or No mean?

Which question is it answering?

[Asker]

Is it her choice to be single?

[abc3643]

There is no single answer to your question because each person's situation is unique.

I will put it to you like this by paraphrasing from an episode of The Simpsons:
"Some people are celibate by choice.
Some people have celibacy thrust upon them."

I will let you interpret that yourself.

[FreyaRed]

It's her choice, nothing else.
Projection of some hidden insecurities on the decision of being single isn't smart or justified. There is a huge difference between "You could have something but you don't want it" and "You want something but you can't get it"

[Lstratt1984]

I don't think it's as black and white as a yes or no answer. It may be your personality. Are you a joyful person? Shy? Extroverted? Party girl? Do you have the stigma of being with a lot of guys sexually? All these things matter. However, I can't say for certain it's your "fault"

[blkgold33]

Well is she turning down every guy that ask her out?

[one1wild00]

She could be being way too picky on who she chooses OR not pick enough and they don't stay around. Or it could be her "quirks" that will drive partners away.

[Caunsos]

Sometimes the case is men won't ask be they feel a woman has so much attention that they can't compete. Our the men asking are the quality she looking for.

[chriscdi]

depends if it is her fault or choice