Oh my god. I literally laughed when I saw your question, because DUDE - I've been there!
I'm about to tell you a story that abruptly changed my standards in a night (in a nutshell because of this dumb word-limit).
I used to date badboys, and a lot of women here are right in saying they have plenty of sex appeal and "confidence".
The last badboy I've dated was my ex. And back to why I actually laughed at what you said was because he was actually UGLY. He had tattoos, smoked cigarettes, and before his arms got lanky they were sort of nice and toned. But his face can't be compared to Adonis. We clicked, but he later on said that we didn't because he became unsure of what he wanted.
I got so turned off when he cheated on me, but I wasn't surprised. I began to reflect on the other men I've dated, and they usually messed up in our relationships because they were unsure of themselves and with what they wanted. That's when the shift happened, and I no longer allowed anyone in. I did run into some a**holes after my ex, and thanks to my newly acquired skills at reading men (from all the bad experience and the self-help books I've been reading), I left as soon as they (discretely) revealed to me that they only wanted sex from me.
So I changed up my standards and my limits - and now I am with someone that actually deserves me.
Men will be men - and most are "playboys" when single. Such was the case of my current boyfriend, until' he met me. He treats me with respect, which is what I really liked. He took me out for dinner, buys me things (he gave me a hedgehog as a pet which was really sweet of him), and so on and so forth. He is sure of himself, and is sure of me - which is something badboys generally lack.
All in all, I figured he was a playboy before me because he would always go out (later on he told me he did lots of drugs at that time - and I would have left him if he told me before we became official). However he also told me he got hurt in the past and didn't want to play games. To test this, I gave it time to see whether he would actually be serious about me, and now I can see that he is.
To confirm this "playboy-if-single" trait, I then asked him if he wanted to have sex with me upon meeting me. He said, "Well, yes. But you didn't just give in, and during the chase I've come to realize who you were, and that you were more than just a pretty face." Hence why he treats me with respect.
I can also see him getting his act together. He is more into sports, goes out much less, and is now back in school.
I didn't want a badboy anymore because I realized that they don't have values at ALL, have no respect for other people, and don't know what they want in life. No man is perfect, but if a man doesn't have the traits I just mentioned - then I deem him "UN-DATE-ABLE".
All in all, 99.99% of women do have that phase. But we eventually come to, whether it is through painless realization or severe trauma
One thing is that those jerks increase their odds of landing a woman by chatting up a lot of girls. They may go to a party and approach 20 women, you might approach one woman. In approaching a lot of women they also become progressively more comfortable doing so and they don't worry about making themselves look good or even about making a good impression because they don't really care what girl they go home with just so they go home with one. Likely though when you approach a woman its because you are actually interested in that woman and so there's more on the line and you get more nervous and you may find it harder to be natural or to initiate. If you don't initiate flirt or get it a cross to the girl that you are interested then you could get friend zoned well before you've made your move. Now it doesn't sound like you want a girl just for sex but you can still be clear about what you do want because shy people can be a bit tricky to read. Girls that care about status over quality are really not the right girls for you, try talking to some nice girls yourself. Also women can mistake aggression and cockiness for confidence, most of us think confidence is sexy so working on your confidence taking care of yourself, being yourself, getting out there and talking to people can improve your odds. Sometimes I am depressed and I feel terrible about myself but I force myself to go out and I dress sexy and not a single guy approaches me, next day I am dressed in slacker clothes with my hair totally a mess and I am not looking for attention and I am just feeling good about myself and life and guys approach me, so your attitude and present mood plays into it. Girls may think because you aren't into status you lack ambition that's probably not true you probably do have goals so let them know that, let them know you have the confidence to pursue what you want in life.
my question would be "why is it that girls think the guys rather go out with the dumb bad girls and describe them as the pretty ones with make-up on and not go out with the smart good ugly chicks?; and why do guys describe the good guys good-looking and the bad guys ugly?" it's completly opposite and confusing, lol. I think appearance does not matter and I'm a female here. I have had quite a few poplular guys in my secondary years that have had asked me out? and there were two that were great looking and the other third one didn't look as great as the other two. But just because their popular does not mean I want to be in a relationship with them. It depends onbehalf of their personality and behavior also attitude. Therefore I rejected all of them because I did not like who they were even though one looked really attractive but he didn't had the whole him self who he is. Not all girls want to be with the bad popularity guys that includes me. Dude considering you think you are handsome =P and is shy and has no girlfriend I'm guessing it's maybe because you're lack of self confidence and is or less ascociated with others. But that's not true we girls are all different and have our own oppinions. We all see in a guy in many ways of their qualities standards. Some thinks his cute and others might think his ugly. Others think his good and others think his bad. I tend to like to be with someone who is attracted and is beautiful for who they are from the inside not what they are from most of the outside.
It's about confidence and self esteem man. If you are shy, you are projecting weakness and insecurity. You are afraid to talk to girls, afraid to take charge, afraid to be dominate, and don't think you are good enough. It doesn't have anything to due with popularity. I'm a very reserved guy, that is confident and dominate. I have no problem getting girls (quite the opposite). Many times girls go for cockiness because they mistake it as confidence. Either way they want masculinity. They want a man.
Hot girls don't date nice guys because everyone is nice to them. They are used to being hit on all day and everyguy they meet thinks the best way to get with them is to be a nice. When they act that way though they come off as weak willed and as seeing themselves as inferior. Hot girls want an equal and bad boys don't care what other people think even hot girls so they are willing to challenge them which is why they go for bad boys
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I personally would want something in the middle. I'd feel safer with someone outgoing, but I also need someone who is really patient... So kind of a bad boy exterior with a sweetheart interior? Or... Something like that. It really just depends.
And hey! Just because a guy seems like a bad boy or whatever, he could be really sweet and gentlemanly to his girl.
And a guy that seems really shy, could be crazy when he's with his girl! So... Who knows? :P
huni tbh, its all about maturity and self respect with women. when I was around your age group dating bad boys that kept us keen and treated us mean was a cool thing back then. but now that I am 26 I'm looking for someone that will be sweet, caring, loyal and just plain old lovely and looks don't matter to much to me either tbh. girls have this idea that good looking bad boys are sexy and have loads of sex appeal but then give them time and they will come crying to you saying 'i shouldn't of rejected/ignored you when your amazing' trust me seen it happen and been there done it myslef back in the day. give them time or simply ignore the barbies and wait for a really kind hearted decent girl to come along. the girls that go for idiot guys have no self respect and like being treated badly trust me.
It actually has a lot more to do with personality than anything else. You may see a really hot chick, but not go for her because she's a bitch or because she's too shy, it works both ways, doesn't stop the confusion of why a certain person is with another lol.
you sound like you think you deserve a girlfriend more because you are good looking.
read one of the millions of articles on nice guys
Girls like bad boys only because they are more confident. Be yourself and be confident...every girl would happily pick you :)
unless your a gay guy leave the judging of what's attractive in guys to girls kid
mayb you should stop been so nice and they are still is not like that with older chicks be bad man you'll get more chicks imagine a handsome bad boy a total package haha
mayb you should stop been so nice and they are still is not like that with older chicks be bad man you'll get more chicks
I want a man who's a shy guy for everyone else and a bad boy for me! xD
And handsome of course! :P
There most likely not bad looking guys if women are with them. Your idea of a good looking guy may be different than what women consider good looking.
Because personality trumps, it's all about how a guy makes a girl feel
I'd like the shy guy as long as he opens up.
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