He's 25, I'm 30. Can I trust him?

[ladygator81]

My neighbor recently has expressed an interest in some type of relationship. Obviously it's scary because he's my neighbor, I'm older, and if things don't work out, it's gonna be awkward. He seems sincere, however I have the feeling he doesn't want anything serious, although he says other wise. I've gone out with him twice. I have a good time, but I want a straight answer from him and he's not giving one. He'll say "what if I want something serious" or "don't assume I wanna get in your pants".

On the second date he took offense to me splitting the bill. I let him pay for the first date. Both dates have been for drinks, no dinner or anything.

Am I being paranoid or should I just let things take it's course?

Updates

+1 y

I did leave out a part of the story. After he asked me out the first time, he called later that night at 3am, and asked me if I wanted to cuddle. I'm pretty sure he was drunk, and I politely told him no. He continued asking me to meet him in the hallway to talk. I again said no. Then he started talking about how he was "better, smarter, and more mature than the guys I have dated", and "I know you're not seeing anyone right now". Next day he explained he was drunk and didn't remember the call.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

You know what? I think that... "don't assume I wanna get in your pants" Is pretty a pretty straightforward enough answer to me. But honestly, what kind of answer would you expect out of him? How the hell is someone supposed to answer a question about whether or not they're just going to use you?

"Why yes. I was planning on using your sweet ass for a booty call, videotaping it on my cell, and then vanish into the night to drink and high five my friends for getting it on with an older woman. Because that's just how I roll. Hah Hah!" Even if he answered with a straight up "No" you'd still question him. So really there is no good answer here. What I think? You are just being at least a tad paranoid, yeah.

Look it sounds to me like he's into you. Can you trust him? Well I can't answer that, and nobody can. Not for sure anyway. I guess the answer is that you just DON'T trust him. That's all. But I think you should at least give him a chance. You might get burned, you might not. It's still not something you can tell for sure, but if you really don't think you can bring yourself to trust him or give him a chance, then cut him loose and stop wasting his time.

I'm just saying on record though, he does sound like he's into you. Give him a chance. Maybe it'll work out.

[ladygator81]

Thank you for commenting. You're right, there is no right answer. I do question his motives because of the phone call (in the update). People do things unintentionally when intoxicated, but his comments made me question his motive about seeing me. I want to give him a chance but the call through me off.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

In future would you please tell people the whole story, the first time? Anyway OK so if he blacked out and forgot how he said all this, then I admit that it's bad. There is a chance he's telling the truth though. That expression "Drunk words are sober thoughts" comes to mind. Meaning that maybe he expressed such interest because his inhibitions were gone. Still it's clear that you're not going to give him a chance, and no matter what you're never going to trust him, so why even bother asking us?

[martyfellow]

No, wiht a neighbor at ANY age things could get awkward, to take this one smal step at a time.

It's a bad sign he gets upset about splitting the bill for the 2d date. That shows immaturity.

.

[ladygator81]

Thank you for commenting. There is some immaturity I agree. I feel trapped because he is my neighbor. My roommate didn't help because after the phone call (see update) she ran into him and questioned him about the call. He explained he was drunk and didn't remember the comments he made. He had already apologized to me, but under her advice, he offered to take me out for coffee, which ended up being a bar since the coffee shop was too busy. This is when I started to question things.

[martyfellow]

Guys who call u;p when drunk that's another sign of trouble, as you know! Sorry for bad typing

[Anonymous]

Since when does age or age difference have anything to do with trust?

[ladygator81]

thank you for commenting. Honestly, age has nothing to do with trust. I should rephrase the question to be what is his real motive. The guy isn't straightforward about anything, and I have issues with him being younger. I want to give him a chance, but his actions make me question things.

[minx101d]

Stop being paranoid and let it take it's course.

[ladygator81]

Thanks for the advice. I should get over my issues with age, but it's hard. Plus he's not being the most outstanding citizen (see the update).

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Nobody's perfect.