Girls, Why why why do you girls do this. I finally gave up?

[rufaro88]

She flirts. She texts. Sends sexy photos. She replies quickly. She initiates every no and then. She says she wants to meet up with me. But then she flakes. Cancels plans. Doesn't show up. Ghosts me.

I couldn't take it any longer. The anxiety and uncertainty was literally killing me. Literally. I unfollowed her and removed her off my followers list because her actions never matched her words. She enjoys talking to me but won't move things forward. And that's not enough for me. I can't just be your Instagram or text buddy.

So my question is, why lead a dude on, when you have no intention of seeing him?

[Anonymous]

She could just love the attention to be honest. Not making excuses because that’s super shitty to do to someone... I think you did the right thing by cutting off contact. Tog don’t need that in your life

[rufaro88]

I think you're right about the attention art. I had someone also say to me that I shouldn't have removed her off my instagram because she can't see what I'm up to anymore (it's a private account). But to be honest, if I hadn't done that, I know I'd also be looking to see if she's liked a post or watched a story. By cutting her out, it actually gave me some strength and I felt free. It's definitely all about the attention.

[Anonymous]

She’s probably too nervous or anxious to meet you in person

[rufaro88]

That's a shame. Because I really love talking to her, but this isn't the 1st time. Oh well.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s a lot easier to talk to people online, and you’ll probably roll your eyes at this but there’s always the fear that you won’t be who you say you are and it can genuinely feel like we’re risking our life by meeting up with someone online. There’s so many horror stories of girls meeting up with guys they met online and ending up dead, it does cause a genuine fear that prevents people from wanting to meet up under those circumstances

[rufaro88]

Fair enough... I hear you. Thanks for responding. I don't think I could have done more to make her feel comfortable or make her change her mind. But at the same time, I traveled to go see her and didn't pitch up. Twice. After the 1st time she was so remorseful. She apologized in such a way that I forgave her. Then we tried again. And the same thing happened. I hear your point. And it's valid. But I need to look out for myself and my feelings too.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s fair enough as well. Did you guys ever video chat etc before? Maybe that’s something you can do next time as well

[rufaro88]

Maybe next time with another girl. Yes for sure. But I highly doubt that it will happen with the same girl. I can't see a situation where she will reach out again. Especially after screwimg me over twice. I mean. I just can't see it.

[Opinion Owner]

If she doesn’t then don’t stress too much about it because I highly doubt it’s anything to do with you but rather the anxiety, but yeah definitely try video chatting with whoever you speak to next because it will probably help a lot. Personally speaking I would feel more comfortable meeting with someone if I had video chatted them a few times, so maybe it will be the same for others.

[rufaro88]

Thanks for your help and thanks for chatting.. It definitely helped out a lot! 🤗🙏🏾

[Opinion Owner]

No problem, good luck!!