For me, personally? No, not true. In general? Unsure.
My husband absolutely did not "have his shit together" when we met and some days it's questionable as to whether he does now lol
He starts his first job (ever) on September 1st and we've been married for 3 years, together for 10. I have worked the entire time and I've provided for us.
He graduated law school this past May and this job that starts in September is at a corporate-level "big law" law firm and so I understand that the perceived prestige that comes with being an attorney may discredit me with a number of people on here, but my husband would not have graduated without me. I was in the trenches with him, so to speak.
I worked full time as a police officer through a pandemic and riots that really hit my husband's mental health hard, made all the money, paid all the bills, scheduled all the appointments for his mental health crisis, and all but physically dragged him across the finish line to be able to graduate. I studied with him. I did 100% of everything for 3 years. And I am also getting my masters degree so on top of everything I managed to maintain a 4.0.
No "standing at the finish line" here. I ran that race with him. Every step. 😂
And, lowkey, I am experiencing my own mental crisis right now realizing that I will no longer be the only/primary provider after September. I'm so used to it and get so much of my self-worth from providing that the realization that my income is no longer "necessary" has kind of messed me up. So for anyone who is going to claim that I only did all of it because of the "financial payout"... uh, no. I lowkey hate it because it's causing me to have an identity crisis 😭😂😂😂
I think men don't prioritize a girlfriend/relationship until they've reached a level of success.
Men tell themselves that they 'need' achievement to get or keep a partner, but really what they need is the conscious ability to 'be there' for a partner.
Both men and women are treated like a bitch at an entry to mid level job. You do grunt work, work weird hours, and are highly unappreciated. During this time,, most women still look for a relationship to have someone to grow with, cook with, split bills with, and create meaning outside of work.
Men at entry level jobs are much more likely to project their work frustrations onto their partner at home if they have one. They come home and complain for 1 hour before instead of asking how their partners day was. Or they come home, kick back,, and wait until they are hungry to think about dinner, instead of what their partner might want to eat.
This 'waiting game' with food and chores and social planning is what separates the boys from the men in my opinion. It's not about having success or a high paying job, it's about being a reliable team member for your partner, about taking the initiative on making life easier or more convenient for your partner. Oh and bringing affection and happiness.
If you give 110 to your job and have 'nothing left' for a relationship, you won't have a relationship. You have to find a way to give to your relationship each and everyday, not only when you feel like it.
Depends on who you are, and where you are in life. Early on, women go for looks and a challenge. When they get older and smarter, they look for a man who is worth more than herself. She will hardly marry down, with so few antidotal exceptions, and she will and now has the power to change partners on a whelm if his struggles outweighs his benefit. If you don't believe that, just look up who overwhelmingly seeks out divorce.
All of this will be dismissed as gold diggers, but that concept is just the extreme. Most women are predictable. Once they are ready and able to have a family, they will seek out proven earners to make that desire and dream a reality. Everytime. Just look up baby rabies.
This is 99.99% true statement. Men and women are different. Women will never understand men's struggles. This has been there for millions of years, does the female lion mate with the potential alpha or with the alpha when he has replaced the old alpha of the tribe? And repeat that with chimps, and humans in stone age times. In fact, until recently, only a small fraction (10-40%) of men got to mate, whereas nearly all women got to mate. It has always been a simple transactional exchange between a man's provisioning and a woman's sexual exclusivity.
Opinion
65Opinion
I tend to go for the boys with “the broken wings”. Ones that are down bad, maybe because a dark part of me relates, I try to make them more confident and feel better about themselves. This has happened to me multiple times. It starts off great and our relationship is healthy. Then the guy would develop this power dynamic. I’d get used as a trophy. They’d use their new found confidence to become this douche bag stereotype. The sweet person I met would be gone. It would start with them like slapping my ass in front of their mates to be like “yeah I have a girlfriend”. Then start pressuring me sexually. I wouldn’t put out because I want commitment before anything like that happens. They’d then proceed to cheat on me, trash me, and slut shame me. One actually sexually assaulted me in front of his best friend. Those “broken wing” guys turn into monsters when you give them any sort of social foot up in the world. I don't know why. I realised then there’s probably a reason why people didn’t like them and they failed before. I just had too much empathy for these people. The quiet, shy, insecure guys. I used to be pretty popular with people. I had a good reputation. Every guy I helped out of the mud with my love and attention would take a part of me away. Next thing I knew they were the “popular successful guys” and I was the “easy to fuck whore” (I was a virgin). I guess the step up from dating a popular girl is being the ballzy cunt who thinks he’s cool enough to trash her. by the way this very situation has happened 5 times.
I would say women mostly want men who have all their eggs in a row but it depends on which stage of life they are both in and the potential the man has.
For example what 20yrs expect from each other is different from what 35-40yrs expect.
In your 20s you're starting to build the life you want and explore the different options of stability and development so females would look for the potential in you, whether are not you are compatible with their success and if you're able to achieve more.
In the middle ages, you'd be expected to have a mature mindset, own something, be able to guide and direct. Know what you want and how to get it, etc.
Everyone wants to have their shit together, but that takes time. Women do not wait till the finish line and I am not sure if you are at this point and someone tried to connect with you or a single woman said you don’t have your shit together, so are cannot be together. This can also mean many things. If you still care about playing games and acting like a kid at your age, I consider that not your shit together. I just expect my partner to have a focus, a dream, something that drives them to do better. Yes I have a house and a new car I bought on my own, but I pushed myself to get this far so young. I had no help. I am still working on getting things together, but that is my goal. Not anyone else’s.
There's a thing. Women has the instinct of trying to take care of the person that they like. So, that's why there're so many women who are with the guys who don't deserve them, and treat the women in a shitty way. Those women are at there, cause they think if they help those losers will change eventually, which almost never happens. Instead of the change, those guys blame the women, saying, "But that's how I am. Why don't you want love me the way I am? I won't change myself for you. You should understand me. " or some similar bullshits like that.
That's why wise women try to get the winner from the beginning, so that they wouldn't want to change anything about them, and love the way they are.
I would say overall YES.
I think it has to do with how hot they find you. A woman will date or even marry a broke man that they think is super hot. And have babies with him. But if you are average looking or below, you have to bring more to the table. Aka a good career and money.
That being said, most women will get tired of the broke hot guy eventually, and look for some guy that is more well off when shit starts to get real.
But I should also say, this is usually only very attractive women, women that are more average looking will be more accepting and willing to build. Just as more average men are less likely to cheat and be loyal.
All a woman has to offer is her vagina. She has doesn't struggle for anything in a gynocentric society. Women have no problems, women have no difficulties. Just having a vagina makes them the most privileges living being in this universe and they still complain about how hard life is. How many times you as a man had a woman telling you things like "you're such baby, you're so negative, this is nothing, don't be so cheap" they dont respect your struggle because they dont know what it means to struggle. That's why they think that everything just happens.
That's usually true, but the woman on the left "Tayshia Adams" may be the one exception I've ever seen to that.
She seems to genuinely love guys that have had all kinds of problems.
She loves to talk about their sob stories and wallow in it.
It's funny you used her as an example. 😅
Agreed! Why do most women wait at the finish line? There is a reason why nice guys finish last. Almost any woman that tells you they want a genuine date or whatever is just total horseshit.
They only care about how much money you make. That’s it. And probably what race you are sometimes, just to rub salt into the wounds.
This is the fact of being female out here they always wanted the best
In 99% you see this only hand full women out there who really supportive and helping struggling guy
Have you ever seen this struggling guy is surrounded by group of ladies and begging to be my guy pleaaaase ,, you will never see this ,, only pure heart will be there to put his struggle on the way of success or whatever out Come gona be,,
Most of female who do pick winner never seen their parents or sibs or cousin struggling , if they have seen this they would never been picky
s No, in my opinion the journey and successes we make together is way more important than their individual successes. As much as the guys on this poll want to believe we are all selfish b*tches, it simply isn't true.
There exist the type of girls that you just mentioned about but in minority and if they start to increase then this women will only be gold diggers in ones sense coz today also they get fucked by n number of guys and do the same thing what you mentioned in question.
Hope their population doesn’t increase. These are also disgrace to the society in general coz they are the one who condemn mens to approach girls with sexual fantasy only and they do the same in female avatars. Awareness will do the great job here.
No I don´t because if you were honest to yourself you wouldn´t want a woman who has no plan for her life who is still looking for a job and who´s struggling with keeping her shit together. So if you don´t have a life already and if you can´t handle basic things like cooking for yourself, tidying up you shouldn´t start dating.
Definitely not my experience.
however what you put is Exactly what an Alpha male type society is.
The men struggle and fight, those that survive and come out on top get picked, the waste don’t.
If anything blame this thing where guys push an Alpha type soceity.
Lol.
In my experience, the girl who is willing to rode through the thin always gets thrown aside so he can level up to the girl who only will look at him when he's in the thick.
When she sucks him dry he stays kicking himself for discarding the girl who found him worthy and saw his potential.
Because he saw her as worthless for liking him - even loving him - when he saw himself as worthless for not having money.
So over it.
This is the single biggest reason I can't trust women.
In my younger days women wouldn't even cross the street to spit on me. Now older and with a 7 figure net worth all of a sudden their attitude has changed about me... I'm sure it has. Lol
So now I just entertain them till they get frustrated that I'm not making a commitment. Then it's " next"!
No, not at all. This is silly, because what even is a "winner"? In what? How is it defined? Is it code for, "the one who makes the most money by climbing the corporate ladder"? Well, that's not my idea of winning, let me tell you that!
I want someone who is open, honest, and an overall decent human being, not a corporate psychopath, a drone who just works, works, works all the time!
I want to be able to pull that apart I really do because I want to believe women aren't that shallow, but It's hard to argue with, it really is.
A few of my friends haven't been as fortunate as me or as blessed, or worked hard either for that matter and they are alone now.
I try and help them get g/f but they just aren't interested in them
It's been true my life. Women say things like "I want to build an empire with my man" but then won't date any guy who doesn't already have his empire built.
Women will deny but their actions align perfectly with that statement. Bitches working a 9 to 5 at a gas station will complain that their man doesn't make 6 figures, it's sad, most entitled people to ever exist
I think its 50/50 on this. Yes there are woman who are like this and only care about the winners and their status. But there are also woman who care about the person itself instead of the status. Sadly the "status" woman are more visible because they are mostly the "populair" ones.
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