Girlfriend wants to bring her daughter on date?

[adamw5963]

I have been dating this girl for about 2 months. I guess we aren't technically girlfriend and boyfriend because we Haven't had the talk yet. I want to be bu just Haven't got the courage yet. Anyways she has a 3 year old daughter. I asked her if she wanted to go on a picnic together because she has been wanting to go on one. I had planned on taking her on a picnic at night and making it real romantic and I was gonna ask her then. When I asked her and she said sure she would go but then she asked if she could bring her daughter along. I don't have a problem with it but it does mess up the romantic thing. Anyways she went out with her friends last night and stayed out til around 4 a.m. So her mom watched her daughter for her. she's going out with one of her friends tomorrow night (Friday). So I'm guessing her mom is watching her daughter again. So her mom won't watch her again Saturday. I just don't know if I should take it personally that she is going out with her friends and not taking at least one night to be out with me. Last weekend she couldn't go out because she had to keep her daughter which is fine with me. she did invite to a church thing with her and her daughter last Sunday. so I went to it. Is it a good thing she is wanting to do stuff with me and her daughter? or should I be worried any?

[DonMichelle]

A single parents child WILL ALWAYS come FIRST... you can surely understand and appreciate this?
If I were you I'd slow down, seriously. One thing you've got to realize is that being a parent is life's biggest commitment, you can always divorce your wife/husband, your kid will always be your kid. You want a committed relationship, she's already got one with her girl.
Her going out with friends... first of all take it as a sign, maybe a hint to calm down on the Romeo behavior , she'd be spending all her spare time with you if she wanted to be serious at this time. Secondly she's a young woman who's missed out on many social events due to her being a parent, she deserves enjoyment, time to be herself instead of a mum.
Finally... as much as you want her to yourself, as nice and gentlemanly as you'd like to treat her... mother and daughter are a package, you want her, you want a family life, a big ask!?!? She knows this, it'll be playing on her mind, she needs to be sure before she commits
Play it cool mate ;]

[adamw5963]

i get what your saying..i don't have to be in a serious relationship with her right now but I do want to find out if she wants to date exclusively because I do

[DonMichelle]

Chances are she'll want to get to know you better before she makes that choice, I doubt she'll be sleeping around but she may be in contact with other men... you just need to be patient, play the game, make sure she likes what she sees

Good luck man ;)

[BCRanger10]

This reminds me of the Brad Paisley song "He Didn't Have To Be". She probably wants you to get comfortable around her daughter and vice versa. Also to see how you will interact with her should you become her stepfather. Now if she were to bring friends along, I would be a bit concerned, but bringing her daughter along, that's a different story. I don't think you have to be worried.

[adamw5963]

yeah I get what your saying..the reason I worried was because she kinda has to bring her daughter along or not go at all

[BCRanger10]

I can see that, but you should nonetheless look at it as a chance to show her the kind of dad you would be, especially if the child is not your own. Here's a link to the song by the way... link

[adamw5963]

thanks man..yeah that does sound just like us. good thing she LOVES country music haha. I don't know if I should play it or not because she might think that was too much

[BCRanger10]

Yeah, that would be too much, so don't play it yet haha.

[adamw5963]

well she's just 20 so I think there is some immaturity that plays a part in it...i don't think she is desperate to bring her daughter around me because she kinda has to tomorrow if we do go out and it may be that she just doesn't want to say that she can't go out again

[jennibheag]

My dear it is an honour for a man to be introduced to a womans child.. You should be one hundred percent delighted she wants to include you in her kids life...

I think you should definately embrass it and she will be so appreciative and will reward you...

I think she will see what a good guy you are and want to spend more time with you alone as well as with her daughter...

Give it a go... I don't think you'll regret it... if you really like her!

[adamw5963]

i do really like her. I'm just insecure and it just hurts that she would rather go out with her friends and guy friends than hang out with me. I almost think she just said she would go tomorrow because she didn't want to say that she couldn't again

[jennibheag]

You sound like a really good guy and I'm sure that's not the case! It is unfair of her to not have reserved a night for you guys but maybe its ignorance of the fact you would love to spend the time with her as apposed to selfishness?

[adamw5963]

yeah I want to ask her to be exclusive. I never asked before because I was assuming we were dating exclusively but here lately I have started to wonder but anyways I want to ask her. how do you think I should go about asking her?

[crystalrain]

maybe she wants her daughter to get used to you and be comfortable around you. :) she has to put her daughter first and heself second. Next week or whatever invite her to something kiddy and ask her to bring her daughter. Maybe she'll say that she actually just wants to spend time alone with you :D

[adamw5963]

yeah that's what I was thinking..she has just been going out with her friends late so that's why she is bringing her daughter along probably because her mom wouldn't keep her again

[crystalrain]

that's kinda selfish too lol she could have saved you one day of alone time at least :(

[adamw5963]

thats what I was thinking..she hung out with her friends night before last til around 4 a.m. and then today she is going to the movies with one of her friends and I only hope there is not some other guy going with them..i don't mind her daughter coming because I told her anytime she wanted to bring her she could but I'm just paranoid

[crystalrain]

aww :( why don't you tell her that you'd like to spend some time with just her. Since you told her it's OK she probably figures you'll never mind...

[adamw5963]

yeah I just don't want her to get mad plus I really want to date her exclusively..i just don't want to fall in that good friend category..she is always hesitant when we kiss

[crystalrain]

ok hmmm do you ever talk to her mom? Like at all?

[adamw5963]

ive only met her mom once

[crystalrain]

darn I was going to say that mayb you could set up a day with the mom to watch the girls daughter and then you could surprise he with something romantic :(

[adamw5963]

yeah that is a good idea..it just hurts my feelings that she would choose to hang out with her friends more than once and not let me you know

[crystalrain]

i understand :(

[adamw5963]

how do you think I should tell her I want to date exclusively?

[adamw5963]

also, is it normal for a girl to go to the movies with her friend at night? just the 2 of them

[adamw5963]

well she's just 20 so I think there is some immaturity that plays a part in it...i don't think she is desperate to bring her daughter around me because she kinda has to tomorrow if we do go out and it may be that she just doesn't want to say that she can't go out again

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she wants her daughter to meet you and to get to know you. It also sounds like she's taking you pretty seriously. Usually moms won't allow their kid to meet someone they're dating in the early stages because they don't wan the kid to get attached.

[adamw5963]

yeah that's what I was hoping..i have met her daughter a few times before and I do get along with her well..i just didn't want to be some guy that is there for so that she can go out and party..which I don't think I am but have heard it happen before

[Opinion Owner]

No, I don't think that's the case. She has her mom for that. She likes you, she wants her daughter to like you too. She wouldn't use her daughter like that just so she can party

[adamw5963]

ok that does make me feel better. I was just a little upset over last night. She went over to her guy friends house and her other friend came(who is a girl). she told me she was going to. it just made me a little uncomfortable that she was over at another guys house til around 4 a.m. I asked a question on here about it last night

[adamw5963]

well she's just 20 so I think there is some immaturity that plays a part in it...i don't think she is desperate to bring her daughter around me because she kinda has to tomorrow if we do go out and it may be that she just doesn't want to say that she can't go out again

[Anonymous]

WTF? she is really looking for a daddy for that baby so bad!.

i have no problems with single mothers but the ones who try and push their kid off on a guy they hardly know are very stupid and desperate. you could be an abuser, child molester or hate kids, but this chick isn't even thinking about all that because she's so desperate to bring her daughter around you. I would approach women like this WITH CAUTION because they usually are not very smart. smart single mothers wait a very long time before they bring their boyfriend around their children.

[adamw5963]

well she's just 20 so I think there is some immaturity that plays a part in it...i don't think she is desperate to bring her daughter around me because she kinda has to tomorrow if we do go out and it may be that she just doesn't want to say that she can't go out again

[buttercup5]

I'd be weary of any mother who's bringing her daughter on a date with someone she isn't in a serious relationship with. I mean, I would assume it means she's comfortable with you, but I'd think you'd wanna be more careful about who you introduce to your child.

Of course, I don't have kids, so I have no idea.

[adamw5963]

well who knows if its even a date..i mean I planned on doing the picnic at night and making it romantic but now she says she wants to go Saturday afternoon so I don't even know if she considers it a date or not

[Shaun]

It sounds like she's getting very serious. If you aren't of that mind, then it's time to break it off. Frankly, I'd be touched and flattered.

[Anonymous]

get out while you can bro, she sounds horrible to me