Why do women get so butthurt when you don't pay for them?

[Anonymous]

y'all realize it categorizes you the exact same as the type of guys, who were nice and sweet to you until they got rejected and then they call you "ugly" or "fat". And these females call us "cheapskate" or "not a real man" 😂😂 Oh no, they didn't get our money. How dare we are looking out for not being used. These gold diggers!

This is basically the adult equivalent of not giving them candy.

[CherryK]

I think its an old school way of thinking. If its a FRIEND then she must be spoiled. But if its a date we are taught men should pay. First dates are the ok we can split the bill date. I personally never get butt hurt but i take a mental note you may not like me OR your finances are not up to par. I don't know if ur bad with money or simply in between jobs. Whatever the case, i do not want to be with a financially struggling man or worse a man that doesn't want to serve me and only wants me to serve him. Partnership goes both ways even tho we get different things out of it. I don't know who would get butt hurt over you not paying but its a red flag for some. If you're carrying a lot of feminine energy then maybe find a partner with masculine energy to balance. Masculine energy enjoys giving and working. Feminine energy takes what is given and gives it life. Same concept as a "man" can buy a house and a "woman" can make it a home. if im looking to make a home but u can't buy the house im looking elsewhere. Simple admiration for someone isn't enough.

[Asker]

No such things as femininity and masculinity.

[CherryK]

If there are such things as male and female then there are feminine and masculine energies.

[Asker]

you can certainly believe in it. it's your right.

[CherryK]

I have a feeling you think its unfair. And you might need an insecure woman to control and manipulate. A woman who knows her worth would most def deserve a date with a man thats going to pay. If ur afraid this woman isn't worth a date then texting phone calls and ft is there for u to figure out

[PrettyPriya]

I have never expected to be paid for on a date. I always offer to split, especially early on in dating.

[Asker]

Nice!
You are not alone, I'm sure of that :)

[PrettyPriya]

Yeah, when my now fiancé and I first went out, I actually paid for lunch as a treat because I asked him out. I went and paid the bill before he had a chance to interject. After that, we decided to split.

It wasn't until things got real serious that it just didn't matter anymore. Towards the beginning, if he paid, I'd suggest next date I cook. I'd buy everything, including a nice bottle of wine and it was kind of back and forth.

Point is that I don't think there should be an expectation the guy is going to foot the bill.

[Asker]

Aw. And ladies like you are taken fast it seems. Like fresh muffins.

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for the MHO! ❤️

[Asker]

You're welcome love ❤

[LordOfThePines]

That's largely our own fault.

For decades, we put up the societal expectation that men are the breadwinners and men will pay for dates. That's how a lot of women still tend to see it, because that's how other women have been taught. It is further reinforced in the media, which usually shows men paying for womens dates. So when we just all of a sudden tell them that they have to pay, it can be jarring. If done without any heads up, or at the end of a date, doing that is quite rude in my opinion.

[Chthou95]

Entitlement. a lot of women have entitlement issues. If a woman has money to pay for her own meal, she can pay it herself. She isn't owed anything

[Chthou95]

Thanks man

[Asker]

No problem mate

[Xoxocutekitty]

The only time I was 'butt hurt' over a guy not paying was once on a first date, we went to an upscale hot chocolate place. I just ordered a hot chocolate and my date just started ordering item after item on the menu. He said he was hungry. When the bill came around, my hot chocolate was about $4 (which before inflation was a lot), and he had managed to rack up a bill of $90 in sweets.

He looks at the check and then looks at me and with desperation in his eyes, says 'I can't afford this, let's split the bill.'

Mind you, I stuck to my hot chocolate the whole time and never touched his food. So what did I Do? Like the naive sucker I was, I split the bill. Yes I never went on another date with him again.

I've never been in a situation again where someone has done that, but you bet I would decline splitting again. I would pay for my item (5% of the bill) look the him dead in the eye and say, 'figure it out.'

[Asker]

Ouch. What a leeching loser.
I agree, you should have let him figure out his part of the order.
Well, now you know how men feel when it happens to them. Not, that you needed this lesson.

[Djaay]

I wouldn't call u being butt hurt after that pulled on you. Damn thats just wrong of him.

[Anonymous]

Because it’s just polite. Every decent guy I’ve dated has offered to pay. I’ve always insisted I pay for myself but if a guy likes you, typically he’s going to want to pay and set a good impression. That’s just how it is, men like to be seen as responsible providers. That doesn’t mean a good woman will always expect him to pay, it’s equal between them and they take turns, but if he earns more he’ll always pay that little bit more even though she contributes her fair share also. If she earns more then she’d contribute more than him. It’s just called being a basic decent human being.

If you don’t like the girl on the first date and offer to split, then feel free. But it does often send an impression that you’re not interested in them if you don’t at least offer to pay. That’s not saying you should - as I’ve said, it’s dependant in circumstances.

[Asker]

" Every decent guy I’ve dated has offered to pay."

Sounds just like decent guys to you are only those with money to spend it on you.

[Opinion Owner]

Their money doesn’t concern me. I have earned more than some and insisted on paying, but it’s a matter of male pride.

[Asker]

Yeah, I suppose.

[MindYourEyes]

Cause those chicks are dumb and immature. If she wants a man to pay for everything then she needs to look in the sugar daddy category xP

[Asker]

Ace 👍!

[WonderBell99]

Not at all! Whoever asked the other person out should pay. Or you can just split the bill.

For instance, if I ask a guy out, then I'll pay. On the other hand, if he asks me out, then I *wouldn't mind* him paying, but I definitely would suggest splitting the bill, because I would feel too awkward for not paying.

[hi_it_is_me123]

They are not women. They are immature girls. I would be embarrassed and feel bad for using a man's money. I am sorry that you have a bad experience. I also want to say that there are traditional women who may expect the man to be provider but still a traditional woman ain't get mad. They would reject you in a kind way.

[Whateveryousay99]

They get mad when you don’t pay for dates because it is a higher level of validation. Paying for dates is a step up from social media likes or compliments. They get off on this like an addict does on dope. Like when coke user switches to crack.

[bamesjond0069]

Depends if they are traditional or not. If she's been focusing her life on being a homemaker for a prospective husband or boyfriend then she is right to expect a man to pay. If its some marketing assistance who works in the office building next to you, she can pay her own bill.

[MCheetah]

Entitled women tend to be entitled. Not all women are entitled, but many of them (if not the majority) are. I don't pay for women, though. Go Dutch or go home.

[SaoirseS]

Who pays for whatever the occasion is something I think two adults can work out. I've never expected guys to pay for anything, and have always gone prepared to pay for one or both of us.

[Sonorous]

Generally, it's because they feel that they are the higher valued person. So (in their eyes) you should make up for the disparity by paying for them. Regardless of if they have enough money to cover the bill.

[Daniela1982]

Because they are the type of woman who just goes out on a date in order to get a free meal. You need to improve your dating pool and stop dating women who work at the thrift store.

[slatyb]

Did you invite them out? That’s an implied offer that you will pay for the date. If you didn’t intend to cover the cost, you should have said that when you made the invitation.

[Heartache0405]

Because they've been conditioned to have things be done for them. And men are taught to do things for women even when they don't deserve it. I know life isn't fair but that's ridiculous if you ask me

[Asker]

In the end it's these guys, who end up losing resources and being used. It doesn't really affect those, who are not on the bandwagon with that.

[Amy10223]

Because we want you to be gentlemen enough to take us out on a date and pay for it. After that, then we can go double Dutch, but even nicer is a few dates where you pay.

[DryGermanGuy]

"Well, this one's got an M. A. in English. She should be your screenwriter. Sometimes they go along on scouts because they want the free meals."
- John Chambers, Argo

[sirderpsalot123]

I don't think its crazy for them to assume you're going to pay if you were the one who asked them to come on this date with you. But, yes, as an adult women; they should be prepared to pay for themself.

[Apulu_3]

Not all women are same. They are gold diggers or probably had date for free meal.

[rabbitzzz]

Pay with what lol. A simple dinner isn't that expensive I don't even think about it even if its my guys friends. But if its 200k house then I would be concerned.

[Medicalbug]

I only get pissed if this is the third time I’ve had to pay for dinner.

[Medicalbug]

I’m a row. Or all three dinners ever.

[TommyMountainFigure]

The last time I saw a woman that fired up, it wasn't candy I was giving her.