Why do people get so offended by a woman who has ‘too much’ confidence but not by a man who is the same way?

Question

Why is it that women who think really highly of themselves, and not doing any harm to anyone else by doing so, are torn apart and told they’re too cocky and arrogant? What’s wrong with thinking you’re all that?
Conversely I see so many men who act this way, especially ones with no room to, and no one seems to think it’s a big problem.

bamesjond0069 · Accepted Answer

Men generally only get and respect earned confidence. Women typically when we talk about female confidence we are talking about unearned confidence.

A good example is that when I was 30, i had a successful business and a nice house and cars. I went on a date with a 23 year old girl who kept bragging about how good with money she was and that she was going to be rich and that if we got together she would handle all the finances since she's so great with money, far better than anyone else. So i ask what her financial situation is like since she's so great with money. She was a waitress and paying for her degree with the money. *facepalm* she knew i had started my own successful business though! So from my perspective im thinking she's mentally retarded. Id never dream of finding someone 10x more successful or more than me and talking down on them about how im going to be richer than they are. Wtf? This is generally what i see coming from women.

A fat girl confident in how hot she is. A broke girl confident in her career. A slut confident in how many men are her "friends". Not things to be confident about surely. Men generally view this as mental issues of the highest order. This is what we are complaining about.

VinnyMac · Accepted Answer

This is a complete double standard. Women should not have to put up with many of these BS 🤬 ideologies placed on them by 😒 men and as a society. Anybody who feels this way is still stuck in the past and perhaps needs to look around them at the ever changing and evolving world 🌎 in which they live. This way of thinking needs to be laid to rest and not be resurfaced over and over by small minded ignoramus'🤔. Seriously this is 2022, people can still be so small minded.

People who are offended are also projecting their own insecurities on the women they perceive to be this way 🙄 , were the shoe 👟 on the other foot I doubt they would like it. These people need to check themselves and figure out what their own problems are. Men are not superior and men and women should be treated equally. Gender does not matter and is not a measure of how men and women are percieved to be. Women should not be placed in a box without room or freedom to change their circumstances 🙄. We're not animals. We're all deserving to be treated as equals, period!

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

I would say it depends on the person and how their confidence is perceived.

Typically, insecure people, control freaks, etc. are turned off by confidence. Confident people are not as easy to manipulate and control, and insecure people feel intimidated by confident people. This is why you'll see those types of people try to tear down others' confidence. I would steer clear of men who dislike a woman who is confident and happy with who she is.

On the flip side, there's a difference between confidence and arrogance (and actually, the latter usually suggests a lack of the former), yet many people have a hard time differentiating the two, and many tend to overcompensate for insecurities and a lack of confidence by going too far to the other extreme. In general, confidence is quiet, and you will never see a truly confident person constantly bragging about themselves or showing off. There are also people who tend to be narcissistic and get too full of themselves. Generally, people find arrogance and narcissism both to be unattractive qualities, if they're capable of differentiating between those and true confidence.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

Since the dawn of time, women held important roles in society but these were never associated with holding power/money and the likes, which was definitely the case for men. Now that times have changed and most women (in the western world, at least) have equal rights had opportunities, many are choosing to embrace their more nurturing roles, while also working their war up the career and financial ladder.

That’s only within the past century at least so.. recent enough. It’s a change in societal dynamics and many tend to greet uncertain circumstances not so favourably. 🤷🏼‍♀️

nitsuj86 · Answer

Well, when you think of someone who is cocky or arrogant, do you think of a man or a woman? Most people would say a man. So seems people do notice it and label it. There are plenty of names for it. Dick, Asshole, Fuck boy, etc...

But I'll take the bait. What you are looking for. Most men have to work their way up to earn that confidence, whether it be through being successful with women or work, both hard things to accomplish. So men are more accepting of it.

What do women have to do to earn that confidence? Not much, in the eyes of men. Most average women still have men throwing themselves at them, it seems to men that the difficulty setting for women have been turned down, so when comes up bragging about all she has "accomplished on her own" they roll their eyes a bit, and don't respect it.

Not saying women don't have to work hard too, but to men, your life seems easier, so you being cocky is a result of entitlement, not of accomplishment. Don't shoot the messenger.

MCheetah · Answer

This whole premise is false. If anything, it's the other way around. People call out men who are assholes ALL THE TIME (the only people who don't are women who are attracted to them). While women get to be assholes and no one's afraid to call them out, cause she'll accuse them of "sexism" or "misogyny."

I can't speak for society as a whole, but one of the traits I hate most are people who are confident/cocky/arrogant. Like their sh*t doesn't stink like everyone else. Like they look attractive while having sex. Like they can't have bad B. O. Cocky men and women are both awful.

Corina_J · Answer

There's a difference between confidence and arrogance.

A confident (secure) woman can express her strength/success/talent, etc in a ladylike n classy way n sometimes even still remain humble.

She LETS people notice and gracefully thanks them if she is complimented.

An arrogant (insecure) woman can express her strength/attitude/pompousness, etc in an overboard way, by displaying and "advertising".

She MAKES people notice and shoves her parade in ppls faces like they are below her.

Yes, both are attention-seeking. But it's the way they go about it that makes the difference.

Just my 2 cents...

ThoseCognacEyes · Answer

There’s too many scenarios and too many answers. Let me start mine by stating this - Confidence is attractive and nothing is wrong with a confident woman or man. Now, confidence sometimes is exhibited in ways that might hurt others in one way or another. That could either be due to other people’s shortcomings and insecurities, or due to the way that a confident person exhibits their confidence. You don’t have to worry about the former, as it’s out of your control. Insecure people will find fault in you even if you were a saint as a way of projecting their own shit. What you need to worry about is the latter: there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Know that line and you’re good to go whether you’re a dude or a dudette.

Diodoro · Answer

Personal opinion, A lot of people have a low-level self-hatred of who they are and the idea of another person actually thinking highly of themselves these people find unacceptable.

So they want to see you put in your place or "humbled". Misery loves company is a saying for a reason. In my experience people with high self-esteem aren't put off by another person being arrogant or acting cocky.

They might be annoyed by the individual in certain moments. But they're not strongly bothered either way. They don't have an urge to see this person humbled.

It's one thing if someone is shit talking or starting shit with other people. But just being high on themselves? Yea, people who strongly dislike those people just have low self esteem in my opinion

ManOnFire · Answer

Women confuse confidence with arrogance and snobbery. "Why is it that women who think really highly of themselves..." - this is the problem. You shouldn't be thinking really highly of yourself. No one should. This type of arrogance is uglier on women because it's almost always rooted in what they think about their looks and sex appeal.

People judge men less for being "confident" because it's more expected for them to be that way. Bravado and machismo are viewed as masculine behaviors - don't get me wrong, I as a man don't think those things are good, but I'm saying why people will judge it less. However these types of men enjoy bragging about being an asshole just as much as those women like thinking they're a beautiful bitch.

Bottomline: arrogance is ugly no matter the gender. And arrogance does not equal confidence.

Evan64 · Answer

I don't see a lot of people who get that way about women at all, tbh. If anything, I see nothing but support even when they *are* cocky and arrogant as can be.

I am 5'6, have a partially fixed cleft palate and have been put down my *entire* fucking life. Now that I've moved out on my own and became independent and began showing some confidence, I'm told I'm a narcassist and I'm a shitty person. All. The. Fucking. Time. At least online, anyways.

I'm sure I'm not the only one, either.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not sure what has set you off. However, most of the women I know are professional ladies. One is a Physician and two are Attorneys. One lady has a Ph. D. and I work with her with groups sessions etc. NOT a single one of these ladies has these issues you speak of. Now, what generally tends to happen is some women take that I can do anything a man can do and do it better attitude. Turn everything into a contest and get angry when they lose. When I am around women that start that bullshit I disengage and walk away. It boils down to this simple situation. There is a HUGE difference between a lady being good at what she does and letting her work speak for her, and a damn Harpy! Confuse the two at your own risk!

DonkeyDan · Answer

There is a big difference between confidence and arrogance, you can be confident and not arrogant.
On the note of arrogance, we do think men who are like that are a big problem, we generally refer to them as dicks or fuckwits. Arrogance is a very ugly trait in both men and women.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Few things… note the different between confident and bitch… also understand perception often means more than the truth… it don’t matter that your beautiful on the inside of men don’t think you are…

Besides this men want more feminine women meaning more submissive (oh god bad word I know). Women want more confident men and sometimes arrogance is seems as confidence… the only difference between arrogance and confidence is success.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because the effect/ impact on the other sex is different. A woman being overly confident show sublimely that she has her stuff together and has no need for a man. If she has no need for a man there is no reason for a guy to be around her.
Unless women guys are often times rather intimated by overly self-confident people and avoid them. We don´t like to get the message that people are living their life happily without us.

Heartache0405 · Answer

Probably because men are supposed to be confident majority of the time or at least play the part otherwise no one will feel safe and secure. Unfortunately real men are few and far between and are instead becoming effeminate and anxiety-ridden because of women.

DaThinka · Answer

Depends what you mean by all thatYou mean a girl who talks down on everyone and low-key insults other girls calling them ugly like she's god? They was always bitches. And cocky jerks are also called assholes. The ones who start fights for no reason and always moody

DudeDiligence · Answer

@Corina_J <-- She got it right in her opinion below. I can't add much except to say that no one is offended by a confident woman. Confident women are respected just like confident men are.

No one likes a person, man or woman, who is arrogant and cocky, but for some reason some women who behave that way expect to be accepted for it.

maverick2022 · Answer

I find a girl wanting my validation and approval to be a very attractive quality. In contrast, women who have the attitude of "I don't need any man's approval" are usually the most repulsive girls. A certain level of confidence is attractive but past that point it's counter-productive. Women must not feel the same since they often list confidence as an important attribute, even though it's often to their own detriment.

Wheels88 · Answer

Because it's a fucking patriarchical world that's why when women act too confident, people lose their shit but when men act the same way, people don't say shit. It's fucking misogynist if you ask me

Apulu_3 · Answer

Well women are supposed to be soft and vulnerable according to society as it worked that way in previous generation. However confidence doesn't have to do with gender at all.

Anonymous · Answer

It all comes down to what men and women are attracted to in each other. High confidence / cockiness is something women find very attractive in men, but women who behave that way are perceived as unfeminine. If you think that is sexist then you believe mother nature is sexist.

Teresa435435454 · Answer

because men and MANY women are deep down mysoginistic. People are much more likely to have neutral opinions about asshole male bosses than they are about asshole women bosses.

PrettyPriya · Answer

I haven't experienced anyone getting offended by a confident woman. I'm sure it happens but just not something I have seen personally. Nothing wrong with confidence in oneself.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know.
I never did this.
And I don't know anybody, who did that.
I only know someone, who has the opinion, that such people should be beaten (due to being spoiled or whatever). But I do not spend my time with those, who have such an opinion.

Guy13 · Answer

Really, that happens❓ I get shaking their head in disbelief or disgust and walking away…for sure. They really rip you a new one ❓Do you a specific example ⁉️

Jasooty · Answer

I don’t think they’re intimidated by her confidence. They feel/look/sound intimidated because they can’t relate/sympathise what she’s being confident about.

Anonymous · Answer

Women are like rich americans born into money that can eat anything they want whenever they want... while men are like starving 3rd world people who have to fight and struggle for any food.

So when the rich American brags about having an abundance of food and the ability to get any food any time... they are arrogant assholes, but if a starving 3rd world person becomes a good hunter and gatherer and can gather food which others can’t, them when they are proud, they have a reason to be.

Not_Average · Answer

Confidence is attractive both ways, but women who self label themselves as confident are typically bitchy, masculine, and off putting.

Alyssa_11 · Answer

Men are scared of a woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind.

FreyaRed · Answer

If you have real confidence you don't really care about motives of people who are offended just because you exists.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I think that’s from people who are not able to handle confidence, personally confidence is a must

Anonymous · Answer

False pretense. People do have problems with men who have no humility, just the same as women. Confidence is an action verb. Arrogance is just blowing hot air through your own horn: loud... annoying... and doesn't mean a thing

globetrotter22 · Answer

No one gets “offended”. But some women don’t know when to pull back and this so called “confidence” is arrogance and condescension.

Anonymous · Answer

Because the thought of a woman having confidence or freedom can be seen as a scary thing, women were not meant to have those two things in their arsenal, they were meant to stay in the kitchen and remain in the kitchen, so if they have the ability to go out of the kitchen it can be frightening for the most part.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

They're breaking up old gender definitions a bit too obviously... after all, women are considered the "fairer sex".

Enigma42 · Answer

Generallly not all men are like that. Howeverl a lot of men get offended because they have big ego and they seek for attention, applause for everything even for taking a trash they need someone to boast how great and unique they are!!!

blissinanarchy1 · Answer

Too much confidence shouldn't offend anybody. When girls get that self entitled arrogant attitude it gets annoying.

Guy122 · Answer

Trust me questions like this can start world war 3😂😂😭

GlassTop · Answer

Im not offended by confident women. But I don’t know by what you mean confidant? As in what they are wearing? How they walk? How they speak? How about an example of a confident woman?

MickHardin · Answer

There are things that take place in real life and then there are things that are posted on the net that never happen.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Not saying it is right, but it goes way back in society. It should not make a difference at all, but it does.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Misogyny and insecure bastards causes such outlook towards women.

anton_dee · Answer

I don't know bout others, but I ain't put off with a confident woman. But she shouldn't have arrogance.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Some men (and women) are threatened by strong women.

Miristheiss · Answer

I don't really know what you are talking about.  You are just making up premises.  That doesn't make your premise true.

Anonymous · Answer

A guy who has too much confidence is considered an asshole or a prick in reality. A girl who acts like she has confidence and act like she's all that would seem like a b****.

Citizenkirk · Answer

I think people who think that way are in the minority.

HighValue · Answer

Often women with too much confidence think they can do anything a man can do, which is impossible.

MJtheCoach · Answer

No one gets offended, your profile referring to annoying women who irritate people. And then call it “confidence” as women are fked up they don’t mean what they say most of the time.

Hangry06 · Answer

It is against societal values and traditional expectations

Wise4myage · Answer

I think it intimidates some people.

Jay3344 · Answer

I think some people do when the too much confidence is hubris or arrogance. Gender matter less when someone’s like that in my opinion.

Staximus · Answer

I don't know anybody who has a problem with confident women, just arrogant or stuck up ones.

May_Summers · Answer

Because now being confident is mistaken as being rude which nobody likes.

notwoke · Answer

I think this is false. Cocky men are looked down upon just as much

StickStickity13 · Answer

Never seen this before. People generally don't like cocky people of either gender

OddBeMe · Answer

I’ll be the first to backup women being over examined, held to double standards, etc. Nut arrogant dickheads are hated by us too.

GMANN56 · Answer

I disagree. People are offended by anyone who has to constantly tell you what a strong confident person they are.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

Because women think "too much confidence" is really just being bitchy, hostile, and generally insufferable and men don't.

DangItBobby · Answer

That’s news to me, but if that’s true that’s pretty moronic lol. Confidence is great, it can help instill it in others

AndrésC64 · Answer

I don't think that there's any difference in how they are perceived. Arrogant is arrogant.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel this. My ex would reassure me if I ever felt insecure, but if he'd randomly call me cute and I'd say "I know" he'd get pretty turnt off by it lol.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not offended but I'd probably never talk to her unless she talks to me first, but this is only because I see myself as beneath her, she's better than me and I'm just not worth her time

Why do people get so offended by a woman who has ‘too much’ confidence but not by a man who is the same way?

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Why do people get so offended by a woman who has ‘too much’ confidence but not by a man who is the same way?

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