What’s the psychology behind why women play hard to get?

Question

What’s the point of it like idgi?

purqlerain · Accepted Answer

There is this psychological study by Walster that investigates this. Overall, men were attracted to women who were selectively hard to get. What this means for the man is that the woman was interested in him and showed clear interest, but showed clear disinterest with other guys. So easy to get with him, but hard to get with other ghys is the most attractive. They also looked at easy to get (for all men) women and hard to get (for all men) women and those were not rated well at all.
Now lets think in terms of evolution, why is this the case? Well women are the ones bearing children, so we know for syre that the child is hers, but for a father we don't have 100% paternity certainty. If a woman is easy to get with you, but hard to get with other men, then you can be pretty sure that she is loyal to you, and that the child you're dedicating your resources to is yours. Obviously, men who looked out for this sort of thing were able to pass down their genes, and men who didn't, didn't get to pass down their genes and ended up raising other people's children.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

I've never played that game. Never got the guide, never thought it worth it.

Honestly? They probably think it's a good idea due to tv shows, romcoms, and Cosmo.

Unless you also like the play those games, just don't involve yourself with women like that. They're not going to be good, mature, communicative partners.

in my opinion, they're not worth it. Find people who will give you the respect to genuinely connect with you in clear, meaningful ways.

Don't chase manipulative people. You won't be happy.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

Whether we know it or not, both men and women have an instinctive desire to procreate, produce offspring to continue the species, and that affects the way we act, in particular when it comes to sex. Since a woman is only fertile once a month, in order to successfully procreate, she needs to select a male that can not only get her pregnant, but produce healthy offspring, and take care of her and the offspring... at least that's what her instinct is telling her. By playing hard to get, a woman is making sure that the man who catches her is healthy (able to produce healthy offspring) and willing to protect her. It's really just simple biology.

Flotri66 · Accepted Answer

I feel like women, especially attractive ones have men going after them everywhere they go.

I feel like Certain ones play hard to get to test men. Depending on their preference playing "hard to get" shows them whether or not the man is to desperate or respects himself too much to follow through.

The women that want a man kissing their feet will go with the man that keeps "playing the game". The women the use it to weed out desperate men sometimes find themselves shooting themselves in the foot because some guys just respect themselves too much to be bothered by it and move on to someone else.

Guy13 · Answer

They want the MOST MANLY MAN ‼️ They are reducing the Pack.
There’s no psychology to it.
She is thinking. Self-Preservation (Family) is not a feeling. Self-preservation is an intelligently designed mechanism within us. It is so ingrained in us that each Being tries to self-preserve into Eternality.

Anonymous · Answer

Ask the illogical hypocritical degenerated boys-not men- who view women as easy/slutty who makes the first move, flirt with men, make compliments, sleep before marriage or even have sex on the first date. I only see this in middleeastern/Asian countries or in backwarded American communities. If many women play hard to get where you live, you probably live in a backwarded community. Women dont do that out of nowhere to annoy men, they have to do that to fit in the society.
I swear these same boys also have a thing for western women since western women dont make it hard for men but they call their own women sluts when they do the same thing like western women. I am from a middleeastern country but live in an european country. I dont see this in the country where I live since men dont slut-shame women for stupid reasons but i can't say the same thing for the men from my home country

Lis-the-librarian · Answer

These women are immature and dont even like you. A woman who likes you will make time for you, will still try not to act desprate or needy but will be happy to be around you.

Squaresquirrel · Answer

Women think they will be more desirable but they get confused.
Being hard to get because you have your own life and hobbies and the guy has to "earn" some of your free time is attractive.
Playing hard to get is not, it's childish drama.

PinkMichae · Answer

Some women like the thrill of being chased. But some women do it out of fear I believe because they've been tricked and hurt by men not wanting what they said they did. Like players. And players are hard to detect especially if she doesn't have experience with them yet.

virtue2332 · Answer

I don't have time to play games and im not going to spend time chasing someone and wonder if they are not interested or playing hard to get. I'm an open book I make it a point to be genuine if the can't reciprocate I'm moving on and quick. Far too many fun secure beautiful women out there than to waste time playing games made up by people not in relationships.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

They want value on the va jay jay... because you will get bored with it after the balls get drained. 95% of the va jay jay owners don't even have a personality or anything attractive past the va jay jay stuff. They've been used and abused by Chad and Tyrone and are left scrambling for a way to keep a man around longer than they did.

Phoenix98 · Answer

They think that it makes think they’re more worth it if they aren’t easy to be with or that it’ll make us want them more.

truth is it’s more like the opposite. A lot of guys see it as wasted time or that the girl doesn’t like em.

a lot of potential relationships don’t happen because of it.

now I will say that sometimes a woman has been burned in the past or it’s insecurity’s so they aren’t confident or they are more cautious.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I think that ''hardtoget'' is often confused with ''notrushingintothings''.
It's not always ''playing'', either.
Those who do 'play' - I think, it's the thrill to find out how much you can manipulate, provoke or challenge the other one. Kids do it similar; just on a different level.
The non-'playing' hard-to-getters' just try to distance themselves from the average hoe.

kinggeorge007 · Answer

They want to have the upper hand, so they can bargain and have everything done by the man. I mean I don't like them being "easy" either. In fact, nobody has to be easy. I'm not easy either. But some of them are just trying to have the upper hand. And that's disgusting.

JSmuve · Answer

They've been brainwashed into believing that they'll be considered desperate or a slut if they show any interest in a guy so they act cold and standoffish, expecting you to make all the moves, which they'll reject to not appear desperate. But they still want you to chase them so they feel desirable and attractive. However, if you chase them too much or they don't like you, then they'll start to view you as desperate. So it's best to move on from a girl whose not showing interest to avoid this.

ragequeen · Answer

Women want men who fight hard enough for them. A dedicated man is better partner and father material. It's immature, yes, but women have been doing this since the beginning. Animals do this as well

OmegaSTC · Answer

Evolutionarily, a pregnancy is a way higher price for a woman than man, so they need to be cautious. Not to mention the whole human history is filled with rape, which is much less of a worry for me and is very dangerous for women. So via evolution, girls have learned to be more wary of sexual encounters than men are

msc545 · Answer

It helps them to assert dominance and control, takes advantage of men's differing physiology and biology, make it easier for women to extract money from men, allows women to protect their "reputations", and overall advantages women relative to men and allows them to manipulate men more easily going forward. Withholding sex is a primary offensive tactic of all women and it mostly works.

MCheetah · Answer

They foolishly think being "easy" means the guy won't appreciate her, and that playing "hard to get" means he'll value her more if he can get her, even though most men don't think in that way, but women do.

Anonymous · Answer

Arrogance. If you're told you're special from birth like it eventually goes to your head. This is why women can't take it when they rejected. They're simply not used to being told "no" and don't know how to deal with it when they are. That's why it's fun to watch their mektdowns.

dragoblack · Answer

Biggest issue i see with "hard to get" is it teaches guys "no" doesn't mean "no"... we all know where that leads.
People should just be honest and if you want to take the longer path to get to know someone, then do that instead of playing games. If they dont want to walk the longer path, then they are most likely not for you or just want laid. Honesty can go a long way.

jshm2 · Answer

That they aren't actually playing.

They do actually despise you, or are not interested.

To bring it down to your level, what use is something you have no need for?

You want them, but they see no need for you.

dustybiker · Answer

Maybe it’s their way of tapping the brakes. Been burned in the past and trying to learn more about someone new before making any (even basic) decision (s).

Anonymous · Answer

Men always want what they think they can’t have. If a woman gives herself up easily, it makes it too easy for the guy and he doesn’t put much effort into her. But if she plays hard to get, the guy will try harder to get her.

zagor · Answer

I would assume they want the guy to put some effort into it. But for a lot of us it translates to "I guess she's not interested, I'll try someone else".

EmmaMary · Answer

My philosophy has always been..."If you think I'm worth it, then show me by working to get me".

sheikalana · Answer

Maybe that's just their personality. I've been told in the past that I am hard to get and I never knew I was hard to get until someone told me. I don't play games with anybody that's just who I am and I guess I'm just being cautious.

DermalPunch · Answer

Because if you accept a guy's advances early on they assume you are easy to get into bed and start acting disrespectfully.

Nata2496 · Answer

Many men aren't attracted to easy women. I don't think that's a good reason to play games like this, but I can see where some women get the idea.

genericname85 · Answer

well if society says being a slut is bad and you don't wanna be a slut, then being hard to get seems the good thing to be. so they try to get further from being a slut meaning they become harder to get.

SmokyOne · Answer

My guess would be that the intent is to see if you'd pursue her, possibly to gage the man's level of interest/seriousness. Also I imagine that it's fun as a bonus. I always enjoyed the chase party myself

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think they do it to build tension, not to torment you, unless they don’t like you.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I have dated women in the past who played IMPOSSIBLE to get.. If only they played hard to get I wouldn't have minded!

FictionalCharacter · Answer

Because women have been rejected by men since grade school.

helbigarthur · Answer

Because they think and were even told that every guy will try to get with them when they were younger. If you have that mind you might as well take some time and focus on yourself. I doubt you would be mature enough for the relationship at that point

Snakeyes7 · Answer

The only way around it that I know of is to always take her words at face value if you feel there is token resistance. If there was, she will engage with you, otherwise the two of you will continue to mind each other's business.

Pohjolan · Answer

They might be reading a dating guide from the 50:s or something and don't realise that in a post MeToo world the proper thing for a man to do if a woman isn't interested is to move on instead of pestering them.

Rizwan2029 · Answer

I don't give a shit about girls who act hard to get. U might be hot as fuck. If I want to fuck I will fuck the hottest prostitute. I don't care about sex. I would rather marry a girl who is sweet humble caring and kind. Rather than egoistic sluts

gabby100 · Answer

To see how determined you are. You have to work to get her..

Waldoe · Answer

Easy Women get used... being hard to get, means "Prove that you are serious" and that you are not just a "pussy hound"

lottiebannotie · Answer

When I was younger it was so people didn't think I was a slut however I don't play those games anymore as I'm an adult

Anonymous · Answer

To see how much you actually like her rather than just want to sleep with her and move onto the next conquest.

Deserter · Answer

Women are like cats, very push and pull. They act all cute, inviting you in to pet them, then when you try they run away. Gotta go slow so you don't scare them away.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Insecurity. I do that when I’m insecure and need to feel validated.

AshkanSin · Answer

Because they think if you get them easily, you won't appreciate their value and treat them like some sort of cheap product and lose them that easy too. Although I'm not agree with the objectification part, they may be right in some sort.

jasco · Answer

They feel like if a man likes them enough that they will chase him around like a bunny following a carrot

TexasRed95 · Answer

Because they want to see how you respond to it. To know if you if you are someone that gets mad easily. At least I assume that's one of the reasons.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Because they are trying to trick dumb men into thinking they are hard to get when they are in fact easy to get.

peedy · Answer

Because they can They like to see use squirm to see how fare we will go and/or how big of an ass we make of ourselves

Anonymous · Answer

there is no point women just do not like you  do your research  watch this video  Gender Attraction Differential

Anonymous · Answer

Women play hard to get as a way to test a man’s commitment to her.

Twalli · Answer

They think that guys that chase them will value them more.

IsoUser · Answer

Girls play hard to get so to speak to pick out her perfect Guy.

Jltakk · Answer

Its the gameification of dating. Its a shame, I know.

its_amelia_c · Answer

Immaturity. Games are for children!

Anonymous · Answer

Hard to get is the same psychology of those claw machines. It makes something thats rather dull.. exciting

Tina19 · Answer

Some like to be chased and feel desired that way

Babygirl_S · Answer

To avoid being considered an easy slut.

Dontaaaa · Answer

Manipulation, that's all it is.

SolitarySolace · Answer

They think they’re special when they’re not

Fuentes · Answer

I don't play games i just block

Anonymous · Answer

if they experience men like the chase

chulo1992 · Answer

They don't want to seem easy

scott04sa22 · Answer

It’s means she’s not interested

What’s the psychology behind why women play hard to get?

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