Am I mean for looking down at weak pathetic people who refuse to stand up for themselves?

[shaysh87]

I see it as the most basic thing a human can do for themselves.

[Cherry234]

The way you phrase your question comes off as harsh. So yes, I think it is mean (I mean the calling them weak and pathetic part). This skill doesn't come easily to everyone. Some people have trouble standing up for themselves for a variety of reasons like being a people pleaser, the way they were raised, etc.

[Blackcupcake]

I don't ever look down on anyone, and I try not to judge since I don't really know much about their life or situation that could have shaped them into becoming that way. however I do feel sorry for them, because I am sure that no one, wants to be treated badly and just take it.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Sure. It’s mean when you decide to call them weak or pathetic for it.


I think you fail to realize that it isn’t just a basic human thing. It’s taught, it isn’t a biological trait. Humans aren’t like animals, where they’re born and immediately have to fend for themselves once they leave their mothers. There’s also so many factors to it as well.


When a parent, family, caregiver, or teacher doesn’t teach children how to stick up for themselves, they lack confidence. They will let people walk over them because they weren’t taught how to handle it. They weren’t taught that it’s wrong to do. So, when a child isn’t taught that early in life, it leads into adulthood.


Also, it isn’t just about not being taught it… Some people have that confidence as a child or an adult, but go through situations where they no longer feel like they can stand up for themselves. For example, abusive relationships, or abusive family members. If someone was in an abusive situation, and whenever they speak up, they get abused… That will make someone NOT want to speak up anymore, because of the fear.


You fail to realize many different factors as in why some people may not stand up for themselves. Doesn’t matter the situation, but you should really, really try to at least understand, “hey, maybe there’s a reason why someone doesn’t do it,” instead of calling them weak and pathetic. But, I hope it makes you feel better, knowing that you can do that “basic human thing.” Maybe you should stand up for others, who can’t stand up for themselves.

[Cherry234]

@WhatTheHeckkkk Very well said.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

@Cherry234 Thank you :-)

[shaysh87]

what shocks me is that even if others stomp on them to death, they would prefer to avoid confrontation than to defend themselves. No I dont think the solution is for me to defend those who refuse to defend themselves. If I always defend them, then they will never learn to defend themselves. You need to learn to do it, not someone else to do it for you.

[shaysh87]

And beyond that, I don't think standing up for yourself is something you have to learn. I think certain people are simply less assertive and afraid of confrontation. I was never taught to stand up for myself as a child. It just came as a part of my personality.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Then teach them how to. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t hurt to help people, especially in this situation. It is something you learn, and being the less assertive type can come from anxiety too. Have you thought of that?

[shaysh87]

I have anxiety and I stand up for myself. I have known plenty of people who do not suffer from anxiety that refuse to do it. I always tell them what they should do. They never even try to do it. They never even attempt it. Constantly brushing me off and ignoring my advice. It would go in one ear then out the other. Its useless for me to constantly repeat it to them. Its a part of their brain chemistry that they're born with. Its not something that is caused by whatever event or trauma or etc. I've suffered from trauma, it actually made me more ready to stand up for myself.

Its not something I understand or ever could comprehend in any sort of way. I think that some people just prefer to be bullied, mistreated, than to confront other people. Being unhappy is easier for them than to seek out a better life.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Great way to invalidate others, by saying “didn’t happen to me, so it doesn’t happen to others.”

Sorry, but just because you are able to do something despite having anxiety, trauma, etc, DOESN’T mean that they are able to. Everyone gets affected differently by things. That’s another thing you fail to realize…

But I’d glad you admit to not understanding. Because you are so wrong about people just “preferring” to be bullied or mistreated rather than doing something about it. I could go in circles with you referring back to my list of factors as to why… But it’ll go in one ear and out the other for you. But that’s okay, I guess we all have something wrong fail to understand or do.

So, that will be the end of the conversation for us, I don’t think there’s anything further that can be said.

[shaysh87]

If they tried or even attempted to stand up for themselves even if unsuccessful, I would still be able to respect them. But the fact that someone could be so much of a coward that they refuse to seek out a better life, I would possibly be able to respect them. Its the cowardliness that I can't look up to. It doesn't take much as a human being to just try to speak up.

[shaysh87]

But the fact that someone could be so much of a coward that they refuse to seek out a better life, I wouldn't**** possibly be able to respect them.

[shaysh87]

[Sorry, but just because you are able to do something despite having anxiety, trauma, etc, DOESN’T mean that they are able to. Everyone gets affected differently by things. That’s another thing you fail to realize…]

From my experience, I have known PLENTY of people who are unable to stand up for themselves, who have never experienced any sort of trauma in life. It has NOTHING to do with trauma. Stop looking for excuses to defend cowards.

[Andres77]

Some people were broken a long time ago and have never learned to stand up for themselves.
Looking down on the broken is as arrogant as you can be.
What? Do you walk by the bleeding and tell them to pull themselves together?
There's a thing called the "spiritual law of sewing and reaping."
Most ignorant people call it karma (in karma you'd have to die first).
You'd better hope that someone more powerful than you never just crushes you and leaves you in the gutter because you're going to get exactly what you've been giving to others.

[WonderBell99]

The Asker is a regular troll. I would ignore them. It is for the best, trust me. The OP had a tendency to twist people’s words and “trigger” them.

[WonderBell99]

has a tendency*

[Andres77]

@WonderBell99 I wonder why I had her blocked.
Remembering the shyt that my mother had to deal with and no one ever helped her had me seeing red.
Thanks.

[WonderBell99]

It is advisable to block her again. That’s only my suggestion, it is totally up to you whether you want to block the OP or not.

[BCRanger10]

I'd have to wonder how much consideration you've given to all possible situations. As one other user has already mentioned, some people have never learned how to stand up for themselves. There is always the possibility that their parents neglected to teach them or actively berated or abused them.

And then there are those who simply shrug things off and just don't see the need to engage that situation.

[shaysh87]

i don't think its something that has to be taught. I was never taught to stand up for myself by my parents.

[BCRanger10]

Not everyone has the same temperament, outlook, personality, or disposition that you do.

[shaysh87]

I think it has to do with brain chemistry. Everyone thinks differently. But cowardliness is hard to respect.

[BCRanger10]

But see, that's the issue at hand. You're assuming cowardice when that's not what's at play here.

[shaysh87]

It’s cowardice.

[BCRanger10]

And what do you base this on?

[shaysh87]

Because many of these people aren’t “broken” as many assume they’d be. I’ve befriended many of these folks throughout my life. I can say that it alsohappens to a lot of folks who have never been through a hard life at all

[shaysh87]

Many people get offended when I say this but I know what I’ve seen from experience. A lot of these people aren’t “broken”

[BCRanger10]

I didn't say that these people were "broken", nor did I say they had hard lives. Or not all of them, at least. The formation of a person and the way that they see the world is a part of the picture and cannot reasonably be dismissed.

[shaysh87]

thats why people of all kinds exist, including the evil, cowardly, selfish, weak, kind, secretive, greedy. Everyone is different with their own perspectives. As I've said, cowardice is hard to respect. I'm sorry if this sounds offensive but its simply the reality.

[BCRanger10]

I'm confused. Where ane how are you making the connection between what you perceive to be cowardice and evil practices and beliefs?

[shaysh87]

because the definition of "cowardice" is someone who is easily intimidated by petty things and lacks bravery in a very pathetic way.

you don't have to be "evil" for others to look down on you.

[shaysh87]

you don't have to be "evil" for others to look down on you. By this I meant , its not only the evil that people look down upon. If you can't respect yourself, you can't expect others to respect you.

[BCRanger10]

I know what the definition of cowardice is. You have not, to my satisfaction at least, demonstrated how someone not "standing up for theirselves" fits the definition, even though I've offered other explanations as to why some people don't.

[shaysh87]

Because not standing up for yourself means you're an easily intimidated by the most petty things.

[shaysh87]

Cowardice means a lack of bravery especially if it is something that is very easy to do by general society

I think its pretty clear and doesn't require any further explanation

[shaysh87]

And just because you're offended by it, it doesn't give you the right to not be objective. The definition of cowardice won't change regardless of how offended you are over this topic

[Creampiekarl420]

no because I hate it too but try to be more compassionate have you ever met a person so genuinely nice it pisses you off when people are mean to them it’s a parents job to teach their children to be confident and believe in themselves too many have no parents or really abusive ones

[Imkass]

What about that do you like