How do I stop caring about what people say?

[amairiah]

People often talk about me like very often i could just be walking to lunch at school and i would hear people talk about my forehead. they talk about a lot of things but this bothers me so much and then i think about it constantly and sometimes cry about it when im alone. I notice that my friends dont care when people talk about them and i am wondering how i can be like them and stop caring.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have had birthmarks ever since I was born, spotty eyes.

I also have light blue-greyish birthmark on my cheek and forehead.

I carried them with pride.

When I was a teen and people asked me what that was, I told them they are my signature look, making me feel super proud, I am like a limited edition but not the wannabe “limited edition” but a real limited edition, 1 in a million type of girl haha

They always said “yeah, looks kinda cool, I wish I had them too”.

I’ve never heard anyone say anything bad about that, and if I did, I would either ignore it or I would go there directly and ask them to repeat what they said. They’d most likely refuse they said anything or apologize, but never happened to me, no one ever said anything but compliments to me.

That’s not because I am flawless, in truth, I am flawed, but I cherish my flaws, I make it something I am proud of, I make it look cool, so not only I don’t care what people say, but I also change their thoughts about me, by letting them see I am happy with my looks.

How many girls can claim that they are 1 in a million type of girl? Haha, I am so lucky to be the one.

So, you see?

That’s the attitude you need there. Doesn’t matter how your forehead looks girl, walk with your chin up and I promise girls might even copy your hairstyles 💓

Believe me, people will see what you want then to see, let them see the version of yourself that you see in the mirror.

And if any of them are going to make any remarks on your forehead, don’t ever get it to your heart, laugh, ignore, answer back, but never ever overthink and cry about it again.

[amairiah]

Thank you so much! when its not just my forehead though like people will make jokes and talk about anything about me like my teeth because i have an overbite and theyre big, my hair cause it didn't look the best a few times like for instance it was tangled, my clothes because i sometimes wear clothes from the 2000s as i think theyre pretty

[amairiah]

I know i shouldn't care but to have to constantly hear someone talk negative about me just hurts me so much i hate hearing their jokes or seeing them stare at me while whispering

[MIMOSACHALLENGE]

As someone who was bullied extremely badly for my weight and unibrow when I was younger by both girls and boys (harshly by boys) to the point, I cried every night of middle school and high school and my only friends were my bullies (they are all out of my life now) - let me tell you one thing. Your name is in their mouth because their lives are honestly so boring. That's embarrassing for them that they have absolutely nothing else to talk about. You are probably much more beautiful than you think, and its not only about your forehead (which I'm sure doesn't look as bad as they're making it seem). It is the confidence you bring into a room with that gorgeous forehead of yours and remembering they probably have 1000 things about themselves they are insecure about and you can make them cry about.

Although its going to take some time ngl to become completely careless of other peoples opinions try to first focus on your mindset. You have one thing they don't - you are beautiful both on the inside and out. And if you really want to punch them in the gut, just smile at them. People get very irritated (especially insecure bullies) when they see that their opinion doesn't affect you. It works like a charm trust me I did it for years. Even if in your heart it may hurt what they are saying - NEVER show it to them. Then they will move on to someone else's hair or toes because they cannot find anything else to talk about. Trust me kindness even fake kindness will kill them inside. In time you will learn that with plain confidence even wear a garbage bag and people will still thing you are the it girl. You have only one life and one body. Love your body knowing you're going to glow up even more as their negativity and frowns will give them wrinkles.

[ManOnFire]

In youth, and especially in school, we tend to care a lot about what other people think, particularly when they're judging you because of your body, how you look, how you act, etc. The school system is one of the worst and most toxic social cultures in our world, so I understand you having some degree of concern about people's jokes, thoughts, nasty comments, etc.

However, this is also the best time in your life to learn to stop caring. The earlier you do it, the better your life down the road gets. Show people that you aren't going to regard them and their comments or get upset by them by smiling and be outgoing, but I don't mean you do all that with those people, but you do it with everyone else. One thing people - but particularly young people - can't stand is seeing someone be happy with themselves while they hate them and want to break them down. So when you exude happiness, confidence, and being outgoing in the face of those people, they will first be puzzled, then angry because they aren't breaking you down and their attempts to ostracize you aren't working, and then after awhile they will become joiners: where they want to be your friend.

Take all this from someone who's been through the same thing in the past and learned how to attract people with kindness and confidence. You won't fail.

[ArtemisSilver]

Just ignore them and focus on goals. Soon you won't see them ever again.

That's my advice... When I was in high school I just fought anyone who disrespected me. I'm lucky I didn't get expelled. 😅

[User2324]

first off those aren’t your real friends if they don’t stick up for you & secondly i get it.. trust me. honestly, there’s gonna be lots of people who talk about you no matter what. that’s just life but it’s up to you to tune them out. i know that’s better said than done but for your own sanity just ignore them. there are some very ugly people in this world and you have to learn to be fine with who you are. i’m still learning myself but it takes time. i actually journal my emotions. its the only way im able to get it out since i don’t have people to talk to. it’s helped me a lot. no matter what emotion it is.. WRITE IT DOWN! cry, scream, whatever but being able to get it out somehow helps. i hope things get better for you 💕

[ManOnFire]

@User2324 "first off those aren’t your real friends if they don’t stick up for you" - I don't think she's saying they're not necessarily sticking up for her. I think she means her friends don't pay any attention to what those people say because her friends obviously like her and don't care, so she wants to have their confidence in not caring as well.

[User2324]

you’re right! read that wrong but i still meant the other stuff though :)

[amairiah]

Thank you so much! One friend has stuck up for me cause i used to actually get bullied and im very ashamed to say that but it was never physical. She stuck up for me because someone took a picture of me without my mask on and showed everybody to say that i was ugly and then she took me to my guidance counselor

[User2324]

that’s good that you have someone on your side! sucks to say that people are just mean

[amairiah]

Can i dm you? You seem really sweet and i need someone to talk to

[User2324]

of course!

[amairiah]

@ManOnFire what i meant is that whenever i try to talk to my friends about what people say they get annoyed and theyre like “you just have to learn to stop caring” because its so much that happens to the point where i cannot be upset about every mean thing that someone says about me

[ManOnFire]

@amairiah I see. In some sense they are right, but I know this annoys you that they're saying it. It's true that if you keep caring about everything everyone says, you will always care. When you always care you have no peace. So the key really IS to become stronger in not letting it get to you.

[random_girl95]

You can't wake up one day and say that you don't care about people's opinion. You need time for that. In the meantime you need to find an activity to focus yourself to so that you don't pay attention to others. Reading something, watching a series, learning something online. There are plenty things you could do to get your head away from people's bad criticis.

[Sour-rose]

Just know that they gonna die sooner or later. And so will you.

So flip them off and do you.

[Blackcupcake]

it takes time and patience… but the more you try the easier it becomes and eventually it just becomes part of you…

[jahaims]

Get self worth and value from who you are as a person not from what others think.

[UniquelyBasic]

Whats wrong with your forehead?

[amairiah]

My forehead is really big like i didn't know it was big until 7th grade when i transferred schools. It was my first day of school and i just heard everybody in the hallway laughing and talking about my forehead which is the reason why i wore a headband every day in 7th grade

[amairiah]

I have grown out of that phase though as i dont wear a headband anymore i decided i wasn't bringing that into highschool

[UniquelyBasic]

How big is it? Like can you cover it with your hand?

[amairiah]

I can put six fingers on my forehead but its not ONLY my forehead that they talk about, they also talk about my teeth because theyre big like i have an overbite and sometimes its other things like my hair or my clothes. I like to wear clothes from the actual 2000s because theyre pretty and my hair was tangled. Its like no matter how i look people are always going to talk and this is what i struggle with

[UniquelyBasic]

People are going to talk no matter what you do or what you look like. Over time you'll just not give a fuck about what others think or say. I learned at a young age to make fun of myself and laugh about it which made me less worried about what others said or thought about me. Just try your best to not show them it affects you.