Why do people say "report it or don't complain" about sexual assault?

[Anonymous]

Very few reported cases even make it to court, much less conviction, and the processes you have to go through to do that can be very invasive and traumatic just for nothing to happen anyways. Many police won't even take a report seriously—especially if you're a guy, and double especially if you're a feminine guy.

I have not told very many people about my own experience because I don't like talking about it, and I don't want to be treated differently for it, but I have seen and heard others share their experience only to be met with "well did you report it?" "Why didn't you report it?" "You have to report it if you want anything to be done about it." Online it is even more obvious "either report it or stop complaining." "If you didn't care enough enough report it it must not have been that bad." Even "you're probably just making it up, or you would report it."

Why do people have this weird mixed up mindset? Do they really think it's easy to report and that will actually likely have consequences for the assaulter? Or do they just not want to think about how big and common of a problem sexual assault is, so make excuses for why people shouldn't talk about it?

[OlderAndWiser]

Other people have a mindset that is different from your mindset, because you were the victim and they were not. It is unreasonable to expect everyone else to think exactly as you do. Holding different opinions doesn't mean that they are "weird" or "mixed up."

There are many instances in which people make false claims of sexual battery. Others believe that if it really happened, you would be angry as hell and you would want the perpetrator prosecuted. That's not a weir idea for people to have.

[Asker]

I say weird and mixed up because it seems to be backwards to how they respond to other things. Like if someone's phone is stolen and they say and complain because now they have to buy a new phone, or their insurance doesn't cover theft, these people won't suddenly ask whether they reported it to police or accuse them of lying. The same as for a hit and run, they don't jump over the whole conversation and make the ultimatum of report it or shut up.

[OlderAndWiser]

So you think people should treat property crimes the same way that they treat sexual battery?

[Asker]

I think people shouldn't shut down conversation about either one, or give weird ultimatums about whether you can talk about it if it happened to you for either one. In that way they should be treated the same, yes. They're both crimes police rarely care about, but still happen to people.