Can a womanizer/fuckboy change?

[Anonymous]

What kind of girl can change or cause him to get attached?

[D_Bone_Steak]

If the change happens he will just lose her high interest. It's the drama/wild shit happening/the out of whack fights/checking her on any bullshit... the stuff that gives her the butterflies. If the woman wanted a simple A to B guy, she probably would've gone for those guys to begin with. 9 times out of 10 though the women that end up with those plain and simple guys become the closet mananizer/fuck girls and cheat on that dude.

[Asker]

He looks extremely bitter and annoyed, tries to make me jealous but got jealous himself when he saw me walking with a guy. He wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't smile, he was just looking mad at me
After a week, he again began talking to me on his own and he has consistently done this since the last 6 months

[D_Bone_Steak]

I can't really speak on his particular tactics... all I'm trying to point out is he has the woman. The turmoil/drama or whatever you want to call it, he's providing that... yet you're around for 6 months of it. Online looking for answers to help with it. You see what I'm trying to get at right?

The so-called "good guys" never get that kind of attention or dedication. And he already has and you know it.

Not trying to put you on blast in particular, but I am saying that maybe, just maybe... all that drama stuff is EXACTLY why you're drawn to him.

[dynamicyandere]

He won’t change for a woman. For that kind of change to happen, it needs to be a change he decides to do for himself. It will take another man he looks up to that is a positive influence or perhaps some sort of traumatic event that causes him to look deeply within himself and change his identity.

[dynamicyandere]

If he’s a true player, he can’t be seduced. He’s the one who does the seducing. And, if he’s going to decide to be vulnerable to a woman and truly love and cherish her, he’s going to need to become a different man.

[Asker]

But why foes he still keep talking to me when he knows he won't get sex from me and he is mad about it?

[dynamicyandere]

If he’s trying to get into your pants still, he’s persistent because he just sees the situation as a challenge to overcome. He’s convinced he can still change your mind.

I don’t know why he’s getting mad about it though, that would be counterproductive. Maybe he’s frustrated that you won’t put out and thinks he can pressure you into giving in.

[Asker]

He looks extremely bitter and annoyed, tries to make me jealous but got jealous himself when he saw me walking with a guy. He wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't smile, he was just looking mad at me
After a week, he again began talking to me on his own andhe gas consistently done this since the last 6 months

[dynamicyandere]

That could mean either he’s insecure about his ability to attract you or he does have some attachment to you. But, just because he has an attachment to you doesn’t mean he’s going to start treating you well. That takes character change.

[Asker]

But if he does have some attachment to me, why does he still meet other girls?

I think he does have some attachments because he gets girls and he can just forget about me but he never stops talking no matter how mad he is.
He got jealous and was behaving in a very hostile way then a week later, he began chatting again, saying have a good weekend all while looking fully pissed

[dynamicyandere]

It’s kinda having an attachment to an ex and then trying to move on but still being bothered by seeing your ex with other people because you haven’t fully moved on yet.

Perhaps he caught feelings and is trying to shake it off because he doesn’t want to feel anything for you.

Like a, “I’m not over you and I hate it.” Sort of thing.

[Asker]

Yes but he can stop talking to me and delete my number and close it. But he doesn't do it. He gets mad, stops talking to me for a few minutes and then resumes talking.
What's the point of all this?

[dynamicyandere]

It sounds like he’s attracted to you and is frustrated that he can’t get you. Then he’s giving you space, hoping that you’ll chase him for his attention. But he lacks the patience then ends up giving you attention again because he is afraid of you forgetting about him.

It sounds like he’s trying to seduce you by pretending to be hard-to-get but then it back fires because he can’t keep pretending that he isn’t attached, especially when he sees you with other guys.

Meanwhile, the roles are reversed. You genuinely are hard to get for him, and you genuinely are less interested in him than he is interested in you.

He is drawn to hard-to-get women and you’re beating him at his own game.

You’re unintentionally seducing him better than he is intentionally trying to seduce you. He’s playing hard to get with you, and failing at it. And, you’re actually hard-to-get for him, and you’re not pretending, and you’re succeeding.

It’s driving him crazy. 😂

[Asker]

I ve noticed that each time he gets annoyed , he can't hide it and I can easily tell he's so annoyed and irritated 🤣

I ve been caring towards him but he still acts like a crazy person. It's like he can't do anything on his own and expects me to do everything.

But one question. He's able to meet and see other girls at bars, clubs then what's the issue with me?

[dynamicyandere]

He sounds like a tsundere. 🤭

You’re the one he can’t get, and it’s driving him crazy. You’re someone that isn’t affected by his ‘fuckboy powers’ and that makes you stick out to him.

Easy girls are, well, easy.

You have higher standards and he wants to seduce you using what he knows and it’s just not working, which frustrates him.

[Asker]

But he has to text or do something? Which he doesn't once he gets pissed.

Do you think he has feelings? Or wants something more?

[dynamicyandere]

He doesn’t text much because his main strategy for ‘attracting’ you sounds like: look pretty + act disinterested.

He has feelings of jealousy when he sees you with other guys, that confirms some form of attachment to you.

He keeps coming back to you, which confirms he’s interested in you.

But, since he’s actively engaged in hookup-culture, I don’t think he’s looking for anything serious.

If he wants to look like boyfriend material, he wouldn’t be hooking up with girls at the club on the regular—it’s not a good look.

It sounds like he’s trying to come off as some hotshot that gets the girls. But he can’t get you and that f*cks with his mind.

He’s attracted to you and can’t get over you. Whether he wants you to be more than a f*ck buddy, I’m not sure.

[Asker]

Yes when I met him other other day, he told me he was going to meet a friend. Asked me if I was going home and then I told him to get earphones. I didn't tell him I was going to meet a guy friend.

I saw him with his female friend and my guy friend and I walked past them. He saw us and after that incident, when I saw him, I went to chat with him. At first, he just gave a painful smile abd wasn't saying anything. I just stood there awkwardly and them he said how's work and I started replying. His overall demeanor was really stiff and cold but he kept answering my questions.

I saw him twice and both times, he didn't even smile back. Just a faint smile and didn't even say bye when he was leaving.

Does this mean he was jealous?

After a week, when I saw him again while I was leaving, he quickly waved and said have a good weekend on his own and waved.

[dynamicyandere]

Sounds like it. If he wasn’t interested in you and was a genuinely platonic friend, he wouldn’t be phased.

[Asker]

We ve been on dates before so we aren't friends at all. Because he does not act or want a friendship with me

The only thing I don't understand is him constantly trying even though he starts talking to other girls. He knows his methods won't work so why keep trying.

[dynamicyandere]

Got it. So he’s just a former date that is still interested and can’t let go.

I suppose he lacks the awareness that his methods aren’t working and he doesn’t want to put in the effort of trying something different or switching things up.

But, if he switches things up just to get you, he’s afraid of becoming the one that’s chasing you. He wants you to chase him.

So, he’s sorta stuck in this never-ending loop.

I’m guessing if he wants to sleep with you, he needs to commit to an exclusive relationship with you?

Well, then he just needs to accept that. And, if he can’t. That’s on him and he’s going to waste a lot of time with this silly back and forth.

[Asker]

Yes he's a former date. Prior to this date, he spent months staring at me.
He's always played hard to get from the very beginning but like mentioned, I always stopped texting when I saw he wouldn't reply.

So do you think he's still attached? Because he starts talking to other girls and I ve seen him with other girls at bars but then again keeps trying to talk to me.

No matter how mad or irritated he is, he never deletes my number and keeps trying. What is the point when he won't be exclusive or date me?

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, he sounds attached still.

He’s just stubborn as hell.

You want to him to respect your terms. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants sex with you without being exclusive with you. You have boundaries and standards that aren’t budging for him.

[Asker]

Do you think he gets attached to the other girls he sleeps with too?
Or is it just me?
And what was the point of acting jealous when he doesn't care?

[dynamicyandere]

Since he’s getting emotional, I can see him possibly forming attachments with other people too. Which may or may not be the case.

But his attachment to you is likely stronger since it’s been months already.

He can both be jealous of guys being with you while also not caring enough to become exclusive. He can want something (you) but also not want to pay the price for it (exclusivity).

He just needs to make his decision. It’s like he’s trying to bargain with a car dealer to buy a nice car at a cheaper price, the dealer won’t lower the price, and he’s not leaving the parking lot. 😅

[Asker]

He claims he's very detached lol but it seems like it's not working 🤣🤣

But what do you think I should do with him?

[dynamicyandere]

If he claims he’s very detached, I call bullsh*t. 😂

Hmm. 🤔

In my opinion, he should either be acquaintance-zoned.

Or, you can put your foot down and say something like, “Look, if you’re not willing to XYZ, please stop contacting me.”

Or, if you feel he’s adding unnecessary drama or negativity in your life, you can always block him too. 🙃

[Asker]

Yes he told me he's very detached to everything 🤣

I mean he does seem like he gets over other girls very quickly because when he stops texting them or meeting them, he doesn't mind but with me he's always acting bitter and annoyed.

I'm a bit scared of him. If he can act like this with me when nothing wrong has happened, what will he do if i block him?
He seems a bit vengeful

[dynamicyandere]

He ain’t fooling anyone. 😂

Ah, got it. Well, the acquaintance-zone seems to be the safest option then. Just mundane replies and small talk on YOUR time when convenient to you, just to keep the crazy at bay. 😊

[Asker]

But I liked him too 😭

I just want to be a couple but he's something else. He won't even give closure when he seems so annoyed and starts seeing other girls

[dynamicyandere]

Welp.

Unless he changes, on his own, and is willing to commit to exclusivity (and have healthier communication habits), the acquaintance-zone seems best. Because, who knows how long it’ll take for him to change, IF he even changes.

So, I’d say: acquaintance-zone his a**, let go, and move on. ✌️

[Asker]

But why won't he just stop communicating with me and let me go?

Right now we are just acquainted but I don't say it to him otherwise who knows how he will react.

[Asker]

Also on our first date, he said he wanted a 1 or 2 week break with me (saying indirectly) to go to a seaside cottage

[Asker]

Heyyy

[dynamicyandere]

He’s stubbornly holding onto you in hopes that you’ll finally give in. He’s playing the persistence game.

As for the cottage thing, perhaps he was trying to throw you a curve ball, creating some ambiguity to force you to wonder where you stand with him, to hold your interest.

Feel free to DM me as this thread is getting long. 😂

[Asker]

But he's still sleeping with other girls so he's getting what he wants?

[dynamicyandere]

He’s getting what he wants, but not everything he wants. It’s common for both men and women to want what they can’t have.

He’s getting what he wants, but he wants more. He wants you as well.

[Asker]

So he doesn't have feelings for me?

[dynamicyandere]

He’s interested in you and he’s attracted to you. But feelings as in love and care? No, I don’t think he has those, otherwise he wouldn’t treat you so badly and he’d be willing to commit to exclusivity for you.

[Asker]

Do you think he can develop those? Because why doesn't he leave me and go away when he doesn't have any feelings?

[Asker]

Treating me badly?

[dynamicyandere]

Maybe he can if he allows himself to. But he’s trying hard to purposely be detached. Over time he eventually will become desensitized if that’s the path he’s going.

It depends what you mean by feelings.

As for treating you badly I was talking about the emotional outbursts and getting angry with you about things that don’t concern him.

[Asker]

Yes he acts like he's my boyfriend because why should I tell him if I'm meeting a guy. I also just bumped into the guy whom I walked with. I didn't know the guy was going to be there.

Hrs basically a slut lol but all I wanted was him to delete my number and forget about me. But He doesn't do it

[Asker]

Now he's constantly texting and sleeping with someone. Yet he won't stop talking to me in person. I'm fed up with him. I mean he's getting the girls then why doesn't he leave me and just go away?

[dynamicyandere]

He’s non-monogamous and into hookup culture, so he’s gonna be hitting on multiple women at the same time everywhere he goes.

[Asker]

But he didn't get anything from me so why not forget about me?

[dynamicyandere]

He hopes if he’s persistent, you’ll eventually give in.

[Asker]

What lol. He's seen it twice that it hasn't worked. I asked him to let me know if he's free. He didn't reply so I never texted him again he's seen that twice.
Is he dumb?

[Asker]

Hello

[dynamicyandere]

Well, he’s not going about it in a smart way. He should change his approach, but I guess he’s just really stubborn about using this method that hasn’t been working.

It’s like he’s trying to open a lock and instead of finding a way to pick the lock he’s adamant on trying to break the lock by hitting it—with a spoon.

[Asker]

Do you think he understands that I'm different thar the rest of the girls he sleeps with?

[Asker]

Also what do you think he wants from me? A friends with benefits or relationship or hook up? Because it's been months and he seems to end his hook ups in 1 months time

[dynamicyandere]

With him being so persistent, and yet not wanting to commit to an exclusive relationship, and not putting in the effort to communicate, I think he just wants you to be a booty call.

[Asker]

I have the library access card while he has the research student card. The research student card is dark green while library access card is also green. We know each other so he knows I have library access.

when we both swiped our cards , he asked me why do you have a research card. I felt a bit weird because he knows I am not a doctoral student but I showed him my card anyway.

Was this a dumb question on his part or did he intentionally ask this to see my card?
0

[Asker]

Also why do you think he wants me to chase him?

[dynamicyandere]

It’s how this game is played.

[Asker]

Do you think he's a true player or someone just insecure? He's not tall, like 5.4 max in height and was skinny but has suddenly started to gain weight on his arms.
He's kind of attractive but not like wow so handsome.

[dynamicyandere]

He’s trying to be a player but he’s still an amateur.

[Asker]

OK but do you think there is away I can get him into a relationship?

[dynamicyandere]

You’re asking whether you can change a non-monogamous person into a monogamous person. That’s like asking a non-vegan to go vegan.

It’s going to take a philosophy shift and lifestyle shift and identity shift.

The only way to do that is if you become a very influential person in his life that wants to impact his life forever. You would need to be a key figure in his own personal growth journey. You would need to help him find himself. You would need to befriend him and earn his trust and change his mind about how he views life, and you will need to do that with no strings attached. You would need to commit years into being a positive impact on his life without expecting anything in return. If he ends up changing and becomes monogamous, you will need to feel happy for him even if he ends up with someone else.

To create that level of change and impact on him, it would require you to go beyond yourself, your impact on him would have to be about something bigger.

You would need to commit your life to this. Just as a good mother or father commits to being a positive influence on their child until the day they die.

So basically, if you want to change him, it may be possible if you dedicate your life to this pursuit.

Otherwise, he needs to change on his own and you can just wait and see if he ever does.

[Asker]

But u don't think he would do this. He has a set goal with me and it doesn't seem like he's going to budge. After 2 failed attempts, he's repeated the same mistakes.
So he doesn't seem to learn or understand either.

This guy has trust issues too because I remember he said he only buys organic meat because he doesn't trust the regular supermarket ones. Then once he was giving me his French press to hold while he opened the door but suddenly decided against it and gave me the coffee jar instead of the French press.

[dynamicyandere]

He sounds very stubborn and set in his own ways. It’s highly unlikely that he will change for anyone but himself. Even if you were to dedicate your life to try to change him, there will be no guarantees, so it’ll be a huge gamble.

[Asker]

I know it's so frustrating and could be a huge gamble

Also I forgot to mention this incident. So this happened after he hot jealous but had began to start talking a little bit.
He did wish me a good weekend and waved 4 days prior to this all while still looking mad.

Then a few days later, he became normal but he saw me going into the uni building and he was coming after me but he saw his 2 female colleagues and suddenly turned around to go and sit with them rather than come after me.

He saw these colleagues when he was arriving into the campus grounds but wasn't going to them until he reached the steps, just a few steps behidlnd me and suddenly turned to go there.

He sat there for half an hour with them but those two were mostly talking amongst themselves and then they left him to go out together. I saw him minutes later and he was completely normal with me but I suspect he did it to make me jealous?
Thinking I would come out and see him with 2 girls and I would get jealous too?
He's tried to make me jealous by saying he will go to his female friends house and sleep on her couch but she has a boyfriend and once he pointed towards a girl wearing revealing clothes

[dynamicyandere]

That sounds like a sad attempt at trying to make you jealous.

[Asker]

Why so?

[dynamicyandere]

If you want his attention but he doesn’t give it to you and instead gives his attention to other girls, it’s to get a reaction out of you. Also, with him sitting down with those girls he’s trying to say, “See? I have options.”

But those girls didn’t seem interested in him, so it was sorta cringe. It was a bluff. Otherwise the girls would have given him a lot more attention and they would have pulled him into a conversation.

[Asker]

One of those colleagues is my friend too and they both are from China so they were talking to each other in Chinese most of the time and he just sat there , talked a little bit and then smoked around because the two were chatting amongst themselves mostly. Then they left him to go out together with another Chinese guy and he came back into the building.

When he met me, he was totally normal but I found it so weird that he would do this because he wasn't going upto them and usually he stays with them for like 5 mins.
This time it was for half an hour and I really think he was expecting me to come out and see him with the 2 girls and get jealous that he's spending time with them and not me.

What is all this? I don't get it? I watched all this through my classroom window but he failed at his game I guess when I physically didn't come out to see him with those 2 girls?

[dynamicyandere]

People spend years learning game, so don’t expect to understanding everything. Also, if he’s playing the game right, he should be intentionally difficult to read.

Anyway, he may not have made you jealous—which would have been one goal—but he does have you obsessing over him—which would be another goal.

So, in terms of keeping him on your mind, that seems to be working because you’ve been talking about him for days.

[Asker]

What do you mean have not made me jealous?

I'm just wanting a talk and if he doesn't want anyyhing more than sex then we can just cut contact simple.

[dynamicyandere]

You’re not jealous of those 2 girls having his attention.

At this point in time during his life, I don’t think he’s looking for anything beyond hooking up.

[Asker]

Okay then he knows I'm not the hook up type of girl so he can leave me and delete my number and just forget about me right?
Because he can see he can't get heat he wants and his methods won't change. So what's the point?

[dynamicyandere]

You thought you could change him.

He thought he could change you.

And he still thinks he can change you. So, he’s being persistent.

It doesn’t have to make sense. In fact, it’s not even supposed to make sense on your end. He wants to keep you guessing.

[Asker]

Do you think he wants to go out?

[dynamicyandere]

Not exclusively. But for a chance to hookup, probably.

[Asker]

He still can't see I'm not the hook up type?

[dynamicyandere]

Nope. He can’t see that. He thinks he can change you. Even though he hasn’t been successful with hooking up with you for 6 months. I know it doesn’t make sense. But he’s just stubborn as hell and can’t take a hint.

Perhaps you giving him attention is making him think there’s still a chance.

Why do you bother to think about him so much?

He can’t play this game if you choose not to participate.

[Asker]

I like him that's why :(

I want to let go but I don't know why I can't:(

[dynamicyandere]

Got it.

It’s difficult to let someone go if you keep bumping into them. That’s why when people break up they create some distance so that they can both let go. It sounds like you’ve become pretty attached.

I guess you can’t help but bump into each other for the time being, so it is what it is.

[Asker]

Yes and also I thought he would just stop saying anything to me and delete my number considering he finds girls on a monthly basis to sleep with.
But he never does. He keeps me in his contacts and I remember once I saw that he was scrolling down on his whatsapp and clicked on my profile pic, looked at it and then went offline.

[Asker]

Hey dude

[dynamicyandere]

Hmm?

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[dynamicyandere]

I said, “Hmm?” as in, “What’s up?”

[Asker]

I thought he would just stop saying anything to me and delete my number considering he finds girls on a monthly basis to sleep with.
But he never does. He keeps me in his contacts and I remember once I saw that he was scrolling down on his whatsapp and clicked on my profile pic, looked at it and then went offline.

[dynamicyandere]

You’re still someone he wants to hook up with. Since you see each other in person often, I’m sure that keeps you top of mind. It would be different if it was 6 months of being in separate cities.

[Asker]

Because I'm different than the other girls? I mean you think be wouldn't go for an easy girl for something serious?

I mentioned to him once that my lecturer wears a beanie and a few days later, he was also wearing a beanie. He never wears one.
And I think that time he was already seeing someone?

[dynamicyandere]

Generally speaking if a girl is too easy they tend to be f*ck-buddy-zoned. So if he ever does want a serious relationship with someone, they likely will need to take things a little slower.

As for the beanie thing, unless you said that you like beanies, it could have been a coincidence. He might have just been like, “Hmm. I’ve never tried beanies. Maybe I should give beanies a chance.”

[Asker]

Yes but I took things slower and he's still behaving like a slut?

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, he doesn’t sounds like he’s looking for a serious relationship.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t be focused on hooking up so much. He’d be focused on finding the right girl.

[Asker]

Yes so he knows that I'm easy or into hook ups then why bother? Players can tell which girl is easy and which isn't?

[dynamicyandere]

For a player, girls that are harder to seduce are simply a bigger challenge. They would just be a more difficult ‘conquest’. It would feed their ego to successfully seduce hard-to-seduce women.

[dynamicyandere]

Julius Caesar for example was a womanizer, believe it or not. He prided himself in being able to seduce aristocratic women that weren’t his.

[Asker]

Do you think he can fall in love with me if I keep hard to get?
I really like him and it upsets me that he's behaving like this

[dynamicyandere]

Falling in love is going to take more than a simple seduction tactic. It’s been 6 months so if your chemistry was amazing together he would have fell in love with you already. Unless, he still hardly knows you.

He would have to get to know you better, you would have to grow on him, and things would need to snowball from there.

But in this ho phase of his life, I don’t think he’s looking for love. You’d still need to wait until he’s looking for something serious.

[Asker]

It's more than 6 months actually. So he started staring at me from August 2021 onwards and he would stare a lot till I approached him finally in November. We went on dates in late November. Then he began his drama and I stopped texting. Since then we ve been cordial only because of me because I kept talking to him even though he was being rude and mean at times towards me.
In mid April, he suddenly changed his whole rude behaviour to a very nice one and we texted again in early May when he told me he was sick with flu. But I didn't ask him out that day because he said he has sore throat and he got annoyed at me again.
And started behaving rude but I still continued to be nice to him.
Then he got nice again but he saw me with the guy and got mad with me for 2 weeks.

Then he switched back to normal again, saying things to me himself and that's about it.

I mean he knows I care for him because when I texted him asking how's he doing when he wasn't well, hekepy saying you are so concerned, thanks for it, you are so sweet etc.

But when he doesn't get what he wants on his terms, he starts leaving me on read and won't reply.

[dynamicyandere]

The theme song of you two would be: Hot N Cold by Katy Perry

[Asker]

Did you read the whole paragraph I wrote before?

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah. Basically him being nice and then rude and going back and forth.

[Asker]

Yea but he's been staring like since Aug 2021. What does that indiicate?

[dynamicyandere]

It means he’s attracted to you. But anything beyond that is just speculation. The only way to really know what’s going on is to have him honestly communicate what he’s thinking or to read his mind.

[Asker]

For so long? Even after being fully pissed at me?

[dynamicyandere]

Feelings are complex. He can both like things about you and dislike things about you but not enough to make him want to move on. For example, a girl may still be attached to a guy that has cheated on her or vice versa. There can definitely be mixed feelings involved.

[Asker]

So you think he likes me as a person or has a positive opinion on me?

[dynamicyandere]

Maybe. I’d have to know him personally to really tell.

Maybe it’s his positive opinion of you that’s causing him to continue to contact you. Or, maybe he just sees you as an unaccomplished feat or challenge to overcome.

Maybe he sees you as special. Maybe he just sees you as something he wants to do on his bucket list.

But, that’s the thing right? He keeps things ambiguous and unclear which draws you into the unresolved drama of it all. The lack of closure keeps you interested.

[Asker]

Yes the lack of closure. I mean if he dislikes me and doesn't want me, he can delete my number and I will know. He has his whatsapp last seen settings set to my contacts only.
When I sent him my old number which wad the international one, he didn't add me in his contacts because he wanted to be sure if I will be staying here in this country.
But he opened his last seen from my contacts to everybody when he had not added me to his contacts.

After he saved my new UK number, he closed his last seen privacy settings from everybody to my contacts.

So once he removes me from his contacts, I will know because I won't see his last seen again.

Even if he doesn't say anything, I will know he doesn't want me anymore because he removed me.

But no matter how upset, pissed and angry he gets, he doesn't do anything. He reacts rudely but even then speaks to me. I don't understand him?

[dynamicyandere]

It sounds like that’s just part of his personality. He has angry outbursts. He allows himself to get emotional like that. But, it he never gets pissed enough to block you or delete you from his contacts. If he wants to be a f*ckboy than he probably never blocks girls’ numbers unless they are harassing him.

The only way you can fully understand him is if he really opened up to you and started sharing all about his thoughts and feelings and emotions about everything. You’d have to connect with him deeply to get that insight. Otherwise, all we can do is notice his behavior and speculate and make an educated guess.

[Asker]

I think he gets blocked from girls whom he dumps after his flings lol because I remember seeing the 2nd person whom he was talking to had no picture lol

But I guess he doesn't care if the girl deletes his number?

But he had not saved my number first when I sent him the international one. He saved it only when he asked me about if I will be in this country for long and when I told him yes, he saved it. That was the first question he had asked me on our date

[dynamicyandere]

If he’s the kind of guy that wants as many opportunities to hook up as he can, then he’s going to want to keep lines of communication open. As for your number, he wouldn’t want your number if it didn’t give him a chance to physically be with you. Now, if you were out of the country and he still wanted to keep in contact with you—that’s something more worth noting.

[Asker]

Yes but so far woth me, nothing. with other girls he's getting it so makes more sense to keep their numbers?
While he has gone so many months without anything from me

[dynamicyandere]

As I said before, he believes he has a chance.

Let’s say he’s been hooking up with plenty of 6/10 girls. But there’s a 10/10 girl that he hasn’t been able to seduce. Do you think he’s going to want to continue settling for 6/10 girls if he believes he has a chance with a 10/10 girl? No, he’s probably going to try to go for both and keep the 10/10 around just in case he’s successfully pulls it off.

Or, even if we aren’t talking players. Let’s talk about girls looking for an exclusive relationship. If 6/10 guys are all asking a girl out, and there’s a 10/10 guy in her life that she believes she might have a chance with, is she going to just forget about the 10/10 guy because she has enough attention from the 6/10 guys? No, right? She’s going to want to keep this 10/10 guy on her radar for as long as she believes she has a chance with him.

[Asker]

But why would he think I'm a 10/10? I dress nicely but I don't really dress in a very sexy way. He works as a bartender so he sees a lot of girls wearing skimpy outfits there with full made up faces.

I dont wear makeup like that nor dress that skimpy.

I dont know if I'm his type but I do know that while he's porcelain white in complexion, his past 2 girlfriends have been olive skinned similar to me. He also said he likes summer because people are a bit more "brown" (I'm brown by race but my complexion is fair olive toned)

[dynamicyandere]

I’m not necessarily saying you are a 10/10 to him but I was just pointing out that just because you haven’t given him anything doesn’t mean he won’t want to be with you if he views you as more attractive than his usual hookups.

That last paragraph you sent is a huge clue. Are you saying he has been exclusive before? How long ago was that?

[Asker]

I dont think he has been exclusive. I only know there was an Indian girl who was sort of his girlfriend because the old pics I saw on his university SU were quite intimate. But I think he was no longer with her after a few months.
Then came a Greek girl who was pretty obsessed with him. Liking all his pics, even pics on his friends accounts , adding his dad on her fb.
He was in contact with her from 2015 to 2019/20 but I think something happened and she and all her close friends unfollowed him etc.

But I do know that he had something with those 2 girls. Not sure if he was seriously committed or just stringing them along. All I know is that the Greek one was pretty obsessive over him.

[dynamicyandere]

It sounds like he may prefer to have like a main girl and then a bunch of side chicks.

In that case, you probably remind him of main girls he has had in the past. Maybe he wants you to be his main girl.

But, he probably also isn’t going to drop his side chicks and casual hookups.

[Asker]

How can I make him do that?

[dynamicyandere]

How to make him drop his side chicks and casual hookups? That has to be a decision he needs to make for himself. He needs a perspective shift, a philosophy shift, a lifestyle change. It’s not going to happen overnight. He needs to either have deep conversations with someone he respects or deep thoughts within himself to rethink his life and come to the conclusion that monogamy is more fulfilling to him than non-monogamy. But, monogamy might not be for him. If he is just a hardwired non-monogamist that’s like trying to turn a gay person into a straight person. If they are ever going to change, they will have to change on their own.

[Asker]

But he never seems happy. He looks depressed, smokes tons and drinks a lot as well. On some days he literally looks like he's dragging himself and he sounds pretty frustrated as well on many days

[dynamicyandere]

He needs to hit a wall first. Perhaps he’s not going to change his life until he hits rock bottom. Sometimes that’s what it takes—especially for stubborn people. He needs to reach the point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired and rethink his life decisions and decide to change his life for the better and clean up his act.

[Asker]

Sometimes he literally smells of tobacco and the stench is so strong that its difficult to stand next to him. He seems like he suffers from unhappiness and uses girls and material things to make himself feel better. I remember on our date He mentioned that he has a LOT of stuff and he seems like he has more bags/shoes than girls

[dynamicyandere]

That’s one of the reasons that some guys become really promiscuous. They’re unhappy and trying to fill a void through sleeping with women, drowning themselves in sex and drugs to cope with the pain, looking for love in all the wrong places. Or, not believing in love at all and settling for whatever feels good in the moment.

[Asker]

Do you think he can see me differently? I ve been caring towards him like asking him if he had lunch, texting when he was sick and even when said he was cold I texted him telling him to keep warm 😭

[dynamicyandere]

I’m not sure. For now, he sounds blind to his own self-destructive path. He needs to come to the hard realization that drinking and smoking and hooking up will not bring him happiness. Before he can see anything he needs to take a moment to think deeply—which is unlikely because he sounds like he tries to escape his pain rather than face his demons.

[Asker]

What about me bring caring towards him? Do you think he tries to push that away?
I remember he told me you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family

[dynamicyandere]

For your care to reach his heart he needs to let his guard down. He needs to let you in. But, if he is keeping his hearted guarded, he’s not going to feel—if he has emotional walls up that he doesn’t let anyone pass, he won’t be able to experience love.

Maybe part of why he is like this is some family trauma or dysfunction. Maybe him sleeping with a lot of girls and hooking up is his way of trying to fill the void that was left because the absence of love he experienced while growing up with his family.

[dynamicyandere]

Again, all we can do is speculate. You will not get the full answer to things unless he is honest with you and you hear what he has to say himself.

[Asker]

He's the only child and I think he has sadness related to it too because he said he donated sperm back in his teens because he wanted couples to have kids.
He was also asking me how my relationship is with my younger brother. Though he kept saying he's very happy being an only child and he's always been by himself so he doesn't mind.
He said he visits his father but he didn't mention his mum at all

[dynamicyandere]

I see. Well, if you really want to be a positive influence on this guy, I’d suggest you’d do so as a friend with no expectations. You can be a supportive friend and if you don’t become more than that, cool. If he ends up changing and turning his life around to become boyfriend material, that’s cool too.

[Asker]

But do younthink he would ever want me as a friend? He looks annoyed with me all the time and keep making schemes

[dynamicyandere]

I’m not sure. I don’t know how hard he is to befriend. But, if you personally want to help him make positive change, you would need to do so has a friend he respects. You’d have to set dating aside and prioritize being supportive of helping his mental health, to care for him as a person—genuine altruism.

[Asker]

I dont know if he will admit anything to me. I'm sad because he's still so guarded

[dynamicyandere]

You don’t have to take it personally, a lot of guys are guarded when it comes to talking about deep emotional things they’re going through. Most of them bottle it up and don’t even open up about it with their friends. Most guys go it alone with this kind of thing.

[Asker]

Right now these days he's constantly online so I'm assuming he's met someone again and has started texting her :(

And when I checked, I'm still in his contact list. I dont get it. Why doesn't he delete me when he starts talking to other girls?
It's like every few weeks or month, he starts coming online a lot for a few days and then it suddenly stops

[dynamicyandere]

I doubt that he’s regularly deleting girls’ numbers from his phone. Plus, he still sees you around so unless he doesn’t see you around anymore, he’s probably going to keep your number.

[Asker]

We don't see each other much and I'm sure he's out with new girl he's texting as he hasn't been coming to uni this week and he's constantly online too.

With me nothing has happened and he knows I don't text him
So when he's finds someone or has now been so wrapped up on texting her, then get rid of me and just let me be in peace?

I last saw him last week Thursday and since then he hasn't been coming

[dynamicyandere]

You reply back when he texts you though right? You don’t ghost him right? As long as you don’t ghost or block, he’s probably going to keep your number in his phone.

[Asker]

He never texts me. I stopped texting long time ago. I only texted him last month when he was sick and he began replying saying how I am sweet bla bla.
I didn't ask him out and after that he stopped replying again.

So I never texted him again.

[dynamicyandere]

1 month is still pretty short. I myself probably wouldn’t delete someone from my contact list until I haven’t talked to them in at least a year and they really are no longer part of my life at all.

[Asker]

Texting in one month. And we see each other at uni but he looks annoyed and he does things to get a reaction out of me (like I mentioned that he went to the 2 colleagues suddenly and sat with them for half an hour even though he was a few feet away from me but suddenly decided to go to them instead of coming after me).
He looks bitter when he sees me and then goes out with other girls.
So whats the point?

I dont block him because I don't know what level of crazy he is. I mean if he's constantly thinking of ways to get reactions or getting mad at me then who knows what smear campaign he will start if I block him

[dynamicyandere]

He’s still invested in you in some way otherwise he’d just ignore you and you’d be invisible to him. So, until he straight up stops giving you any attention, he’ll probably keep you in his contacts.

[Asker]

So you think he's attached to me like I am?

[dynamicyandere]

Probably not in the same way, but maybe in his own way. Otherwise, he could easily just ignore you.

[Asker]

I mean he gets pissed and looks like he hates me but then starts saying things himself like nice weather, have a good weekend, going home and if I say no not going home then he will be like where are you going

I mean he looks mad, sounds cold but still says these things all while texting other girls

[dynamicyandere]

Sounds like he just likes to put on a tough exterior. Nothing too weird there.

[Asker]

Tough exterior for what?

[dynamicyandere]

He doesn’t want to come off as soft or weak. Generally speaking, guys want to appear strong just like girls want to appear pretty.

[Asker]

But for what reason? he's already getting the girls so even if he appears weak what's the point?

[dynamicyandere]

Perhaps the tough exterior helps him with the girls. And even if not for the girls, guys are more likely to respect other guys that seem tough.

[Asker]

So do you think he will choose to date the girl he's texting and sleeping with now? Or still chase me?

[dynamicyandere]

He’ll probably try to do both. He’s a non-monogamous player so he’s going to want to always keep his options open.

[Asker]

Between do you think he gets easy girls or girls give him sex easily? Because on the 2nd date, he was getting so annoyed and irritated because I wasn't touching him or doing anything physical. I was just talking as I wanted to know him more but he looked so annoyed and after that he looked so pissed with me and stopped replying.
I stopped texting and he started talking to me again after 2 weeks in person, like initiating conversations on seeing me.

But when I still didntvtext, he got pissed and bitter with me but still continued to converse

So the way he was acting, it seemed like he expects sexual activity on 1st or 2nd date itself and when he saw he wasn't getting it from me, he got mad?

[dynamicyandere]

It’s not really an either or thing. Easy girls vs seduction skills. The easier the girls are, the less developed his seduction skills need to be. The more developed his seduction skills, the more he can seduce girls that aren’t easy.

I think he’s mostly hooking up with easy girls though. Because, he shouldn’t be mad at you for not putting out. If he’s good at seducing he’d be able to make you want to put out.

People in the casual sex scene I heard will want to have sex within the first 3 dates or so. So he probably is used to having things move very fast.

[Asker]

Yes so that's further my point that our dates were in November 2021. And now it's June 2022. He's still hasn't gotten in bed with me. So what's the interest? It's been months and he's still bitter and making new schemes yet wrapped in ego to not text first and going out with other girls for sex.

Because I ve noticed that every month or so, he gets online a lot and it lasts for a few days or max 2 weeks and then he stops texting much and the hook up/fling dies out. ?

[dynamicyandere]

Perhaps it’s like a back burner type situation. You’re just on the back burner as that girl he failed to hookup with. Every time he sees you it’s a constant reminder of that. But, perhaps he has hopes you’ll come around eventually and put out for him. And, he’s just frustrated that it’s taking so long to get you to put out.

[Asker]

When we don't even text he can get me so how can I be back burner? He couldn't play the game right so he lost snd then tries to change his game. Sometimes becoming very nice but still not texting

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, it seems like he’s still figuring things out—not very smooth.

[Asker]

Figuring things out meaning?

[dynamicyandere]

It doesn’t seem like he’s very clear about knowing what he wants. And he doesn’t seem like he’s very clear on knowing how to get what he wants either.

[Asker]

Do you think he's a relationship material?
Initially when he starts texting, he gives out cute emojis and tries being very nice, complimenting, bla bla and when he gets what he wants, his replies get less and less or he purposefully ignores the messages, not opening his whatsapp for hours , replying late etc.
His read receipts are off so he either starts ignoring the girls messages and she blocks him

Why do this? What does he even get when he still looks frustrated and miserable?

[dynamicyandere]

He’s not relationship material as he is now. He needs to stop with the hot and cold mind games and he needs to sort his life out with or without therapy. After that, then maybe. But for now, he’s just not ready for a serious relationship.

[Asker]

But do you think me being different will see me in a different light? Like see me as girlfriend material?

[dynamicyandere]

He might categorize you differently, but he still needs to change on his end. Just like if he thought you’d make a good mother, that doesn’t automatically mean he’s ready to be a father. He still needs to sort things out within himself.

[Asker]

I ve noticed yhat he still stares at me. One time I was chatting with my friend and he was sitting with his make colleague and he just sat there watching me from a far. Then when he was chatting with his colleague , he had his back turned to me but I saw he turned around to look at me and we caught eyes and then he quickly looked away

Do you think he's hiding or suppressing feelings?

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, I think he’s hiding/suppressing some feelings. That’s because of the staring in combination with him acting jealous when you give other guys attention.

[Asker]

But why do this? Why can't he just trust? He told me he only buys organic meat because he doesn't trust local supermarkets and once he was giving me his French press to hold but then decided against it and gave his coffee jar instead.
Trust issues too?

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, trust issues. That would also contribute to why he does casual hookups. They are more shallow and require less trust. Serious relationships require him to trust someone with more.

[Asker]

Also do you think he could be very possessive too? Considering how he was behaving after he saw me with the guy?

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, he sounds like the possessive type. Which is fine to a certain degree if you two are supposed to be exclusive. But, it’s incredibly selfish of him to want you all to himself while simultaneously hooking up with other girls. It’s like he just wants to have a harem of women around him.

[Asker]

Yes I can't understand that either. He hooks up, lies and hides it which is OK but apparently if I don't tell him and hang out, then he gets mad. What is this?

[dynamicyandere]

Double standards. It’s not fair. It’s not nice. But, he’s just that kind of guy right now in this point in time.

[Asker]

So if I make him jealous would he get even more mad?

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, haha. That’s likely. 🙃

[Asker]

Why upside down smiley?

[dynamicyandere]

You know how to push his buttons now. And, now he’s more predictable. If he’s going to play games with you, know know how to play some games back.

[Asker]

Do you think k he can become dangerous?

[dynamicyandere]

I’m not sure. You’d have to see what his history with exes and other people is like. Based on that, you may be able to form an idea.

[Asker]

Based on the jealousy?

[Asker]

Hey dude here

[dynamicyandere]

Not based on jealousy necessarily. But, how does he deal with people that piss him off. Is it just tension and simmering anger? Or, does it turn into harassment? Does he threaten people? If he does threaten people, does he follow through? Just how much of a loose cannon can he be? Or, will he be all bark and no bite? Things like that.

[Asker]

He did say he fights a lot with his friends and he is hot tempered. He also has lost many friends before who all unfollowed him and he did say he loses temper quick

[dynamicyandere]

I see… You should ask those former friends that unfollowed him what they think he’ll do with you if you do the same.

[Asker]

I dont know those people so how can I ask. But based on what he said what do you think?

[dynamicyandere]

Hmm. Well, since he’s on campus and he still has a reputation to uphold. He’ll probably get upset but I don’t think he’ll get dangerous or make a huge scene. Even based on his own goals of womanizing, being a known psycho abuser on campus isn’t going to help him get more women. So, if he acts out and becomes dangerous with you, that would be a stupid decision based on HIS own goals.

He’ll probably get upset, throw a fit, maybe be tense around you if he’s the grudge-holding type, but I don’t think he’ll do more than that, for the sake of his own reputation.

[Asker]

Also do you think he's attached to me or has a huge ego/narcissist that can't deal with rejection?

[dynamicyandere]

If I had to choose between those two, I’d say the second one. Otherwise, he’d act more caring and less pissed.

[Asker]

But you thought he was attached? :(

[dynamicyandere]

He can be both. It’s not always black and white. Most of the times things aren’t black and white. Human emotions are complicated.

[Asker]

So what do you yhink?

[dynamicyandere]

I think perhaps you remind him of ex girlfriends that he has dated. He probably would rather hook up with you than the girls he normally hooks up with. But you’ve been rejecting him so that frustrates him and hurts his ego. He doesn’t handle rejection well. And, when he sees you with other guys, he gets jealous. He gets jealous because he’s not entirely detached, otherwise he wouldn’t be phased. But he does get phased, so that shows some attachment.

So, I think it’s a combination of everything you mentioned. He does have an attachment. He also has an inflated ego and doesn’t deal with rejection well.

[Asker]

But I texted him asking to meet but he won't reply once he is unhappy with my texts or if I'm seducing him. So how am I rejecting? If he won't reply, u can't chase him or follow up

[Asker]

Not seducing him

[dynamicyandere]

Can you restate that again? The way you wrote that is confusing.

[Asker]

I mean I sent him text asking to let me know when he's free when we were going on dates but he eouldnt reply because I wasn't seducing him or asking him out directly so how?

[dynamicyandere]

How might you remind him of his ex girlfriends? Don’t you have a similar skin complexion? Also, you’re kind to him. Girls at the club probably aren’t as kind to him as you are.

[Asker]

Yes I have similar complexion but does that mean he has a type? Cos he himself is milky white with blue eyes, light hair.
But if he understands I'm kind, caring then why not reply and text to meet up? Why does he get annoyed and stop replying?

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, he probably has a type. As to why he doesn’t reply I’m not sure.

[Asker]

Do you think he wants me to ask him out?

[Asker]

How can I get him to fall on love with me?

[Asker]

Hellooooi

[dynamicyandere]

If he’s been ignoring your texts to meet up, I don’t think he wants to go out.

Different people fall in love for different reasons. You will need to match up with whatever he considers an ideal partner.

Right now, it doesn’t sound like he’s looking for love though. Right now he’s just chasing thrills.

[Asker]

No he does that when he gets annoyed like I mentioned after 2nd date when he started getting irritated

But he knows I'm not the thrill type then why not just let me go and finish our story? Why hold onto me and keep me in the loop? I want him as a boyfriend which if he can't be then why nit just forget me?

[dynamicyandere]

You want him to change so that he’ll be a monogamous boyfriend.

He wants you to change so that you’ll be someone he can casually hook up with, without commitment.

You both want each other to change and neither of you wants to change for the other.

You’re hoping that he’ll change for you.

Perhaps he’s hoping that you’ll change for him.

[Asker]

But can't he tell the difference between me and other girls? If he thinks I'm different then can't he see that I don't want to hook up and am more relationship type?

[dynamicyandere]

He probably believes that any girl can be seduced if they press the right buttons.

But the thing is, he’s not changing up is strategy, so even if he did believe that, he’s just running in circles by continuing to use a strategy that doesn’t fully work on you. He has your attention and interest, no doubt. But he doesn’t know how to go beyond that.

[Asker]

Is it because he's denying feelings and relationships? Do you think he's a misogynist? Because I remember that on my University's crush confessions page, someone anonymously submitted a confession saying oh you are so different and not like the other girls.
I suspected it's him though not sure
He's a PhD student too by the way

[dynamicyandere]

He does seem to be suppressing feelings. Just like when he claims to be detached but he actually is a little attached (otherwise he wouldn’t act jealous). So, I think he’s purposely trying to desensitize himself.

[Asker]

What do you think was the reason for jealousy? Did he feel I lied to him by not telling him I was meeting a dude? Or he just couldn't accept that I meet other guys and paid no attention to him when he was in front of us

[Asker]

Helloooo dide

[Asker]

What do you think was the reason for jealousy? Did he feel I lied to him by not telling him I was meeting a dude? Or he just couldn't accept that I meet other guys and paid no attention to him when he was in front of us?

[dynamicyandere]

The second one.

The first one would make more sense if he expected loyalty out of you but how can he do that if you two never established exclusivity and he doesn’t want a serious relationship anyway.

The second one is more about his possessiveness of you and competition anxiety.

[Asker]

But why is he possessive about me and the competition anxiety? He doesn't care right and he talks snd sleeps with other girls so why bother?

[dynamicyandere]

He’s greedy. He’s not a one-woman-man.

[Asker]

I don't understand why can't he just delete me and let me go? We don't have anything and we won't have any so why can't he just let me go and finish our so called relationship?

[Asker]

I don't understand why can't he just delete me and let me go? We don't have anything and we won't have any so why can't he just let me go and finish our so called relationship?

Helloooo

[dynamicyandere]

I’m not sure what plans he has for you or what he intends. All I can do is make speculations from patterns I recognize from other people and situations.

What his intentions are for you are not going to be fully understood unless he reveals it to you, or you gather more clues.

[Asker]

So what do you speculate? Any chance of a relationship?

[Asker]

So what do you speculate? Any chance of a relationship? Your opinion?

[dynamicyandere]

Not at this stage, no. He needs to communicate more maturely and stop playing these games. Personally, playing games like this a dealbreaker for me. But, to each their own. 🥂

[Asker]

Is he doing this because he's insecure about himself? He's attractive but not like super handsome or super attractive. He's also quite small for a guy like 5 4 in height

[Asker]

And he used to be quite skinny but recently I'm seeing that he's gained weight on his upper body and I can see them biceps so I'm assuming he's started to work out

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, his inner game needs to catch up with his outer game.

Inner game is like natural confidence and charisma, when a guy can just attract a girl without even trying, just by being himself.

Outer game is stuff like techniques and tactics and strategies. Games and tricks.

If his inner game needs work, he may be overcompensating with his outer game, putting too much emphasis on games to the point it’s off-putting to higher quality girls.

[dynamicyandere]

Too much outer game comes off as manipulative and sleazy. I think outer game should be super light if even used at all.

[Asker]

He also keeps checking out girls legs

[dynamicyandere]

Girls with nice legs must be one of the key features he finds attractive. 🍗🍗

[Asker]

And what about my number? He's still kept it saved no matter how mad or pissed he is. I can still see his last seen so I'm in his contacts as only his contacts can see his last seen.

[dynamicyandere]

I skimmed the 200+ comments we had about this guy over the last 10 days and this is at least the 6th time you asked about why doesn’t he delete you from his contacts. We’re talking in circles.

[Asker]

Because my other female friends complain that the guys they talk to don't save their numbers, never saved it or deleted them yet this guy doesn't. So I'm curious to know why not?

[dynamicyandere]

Maybe those other guys aren’t trying to hook up with girls regularly like this guy.

Maybe those other guys weren’t interested.

Maybe this guy just doesn’t block or delete unless they’re an ex he doesn’t like.

[Asker]

But this guy isn't interested right? And he dislikes me considering he looks annoyed and bitter?

[dynamicyandere]

If he wasn’t interested at all, he wouldn’t act jealous when you’re with other guys, right? That’s the thing. Maybe he’s looking and acting annoyed because of the situation rather because of you. He doesn’t like seeing other guys “get” what he failed to get. Maybe he thinks you’re putting out for other guys but not him. Something else is going on in his mind to make him act this way, otherwise he’d be completely unaffected.

[Asker]

Yes but he was getting annoyed since the very beginning of the 2nd date because he probably felt he was wasting time with me when I won't have sex with him.
Then he got bitter after he saw that even though he had restarted talking to me in person I still wouldn't text.

So him getting annoyed has been an ongoing issue?

[Asker]

Hellooo dude

[dynamicyandere]

Sounds like it, yes.

[Asker]

But why?

[dynamicyandere]

“because he probably felt he was wasting time with me when I won't have sex with him”

[Asker]

Yes so why hang on?

[dynamicyandere]

Maybe he’s hoping one day you’ll text him asking for a hookup.

And/or because you like him, and knowing you’re giving him your attention boosts his ego, and he ignores you because it makes him feel like he’s better than you.

[Asker]

He doesn't ignore me in person. He always says something no matter how mad or pissed he is

[dynamicyandere]

Perhaps that’s to not make a situation unnecessarily awkward. Perhaps he doesn’t want to make a scene.

[Asker]

Not really. He's always created tension and awkwardness between us because of his stupid behaviour.
I dont get why he won't delete my number

[dynamicyandere]

I suppose he only deletes numbers from people that meet a certain criteria (e. g. The need to be an ex he broke up with.). Perhaps you just haven’t met that criteria.

[Asker]

We are former dates. Nothing else. We went on 2 dates and he realised he wouldn't get sex from me. The 2nd date was so difficult because of how agitated he was and one time we stopped talking because he started watching other people make posters
Then tried to make me jealous by pointing towards a girl whose back and ass was on display because she was wearing a tiny crop top.

He had stopped replying after that so what's the point? We don't have sex, we barely ever text , we only make small talk because he either asks me questions when I'm leaving or passing by or I stop for a chat with him.

We aren't friends. He clearly has issues with me because he's used to getting sex easily or women chasing after him and he doesn't get it from me. So he's pissed.

So I don't understand the reason to get jealous or keep my number because if a player wants to change, he would text me or try to create situations where I could text him.
He's not doing that so why?

[dynamicyandere]

That’s a pretty dick move for him to make on a date.

He probably doesn’t want to lift a finger for you. Perhaps he wants to make things zero effort on his end and he just wants you to come to him with an opportunity to hook up. Like, maybe he’s hoping one night you’re lonely and horny and you hit him up or something.

[Asker]

That's what I'm saying. He texts snd sleeps with other girls so makes sense for him to keep their numbers and if they block him he wouldn't bother because he got what he wanted. However with me, there's nothing and he makes no effort so why bother?

It's true. From the very beginning he has made 0 effort and expects the girl to do everything

[Asker]

@dynamicyandere what do u think and do u also think he's a narcissist?

[dynamicyandere]

If he’s not putting any in effort at all, he’s just waiting for you to come to him. And, yeah. He does sound narcissistic.

[Asker]

Waiting for what? Then why get jealous? Does he actually think I'm his and not meeting other guys?

[dynamicyandere]

Waiting for you to approach him for sex. I don’t think he thinks you’re his, but he is possessive of you because he’s greedy.

[Asker]

Greedy for what though? He's getting what he wants from other girls?

[dynamicyandere]

He wants more. Just like a guy that has a lot of money but still wants more money, he’s a guy that is getting women but still wants more women,

[Asker]

He didn't get me so why not forget me? I went on a date with a guy, it didn't work out so he deleted my number because I can't see his last seen pic. I don't get why this guy can't do this?

[dynamicyandere]

Not every guy is as organized or methodical about managing their contacts. Maybe this guy just doesn’t really delete numbers regularly. Maybe he has a lot of numbers in his phone that he should delete but he doesn’t bother to because he’s procrastinating or doesn’t care.

[Asker]

Can he commit?

[dynamicyandere]

If you can see him cutting off contact with all his f*ck buddies and if he stops hitting on girls on social media and in the clubs so he can commit to one person, then yeah. But, I don’t think that’s going to be happening any time soon.

[LazerBean]

People don't change. Sometimes they can pretend to go a few months or a year, but they always go back to their crap.

[jennifer_bloom]

Maybe 0.5% change but I would not waste my time on a guy like that.

[Honesttguy]

Yeah he can change, when he decides to change.
Women dont have power over him, so no women can change him. Change will come when he decides to change.
You have power over simp guys and they will bend any shape u want just to get laid so there u have it. But you see you dont want those simp guys, you want guy that you can't change. So this question is a joke, understand yourself first girl.

[Asker]

He looks extremely bitter and annoyed, tries to make me jealous but got jealous himself when he saw me walking with a guy. He wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't smile, he was just looking mad at me
After a week, he again began talking to me on his own and he has consistently done this since the last 6 months

[Honesttguy]

Well thats how he is. Is gonna take years for him to improve all that list of stuff. That is quite a lot to be honest fuking hell. How old is he 16?

[Asker]

He's 25

[Reaper1985]

guys who know they can treat girls like dirt and still have tons of them lining up to date him will likely never change. since this are the types of guys most girls are attracted to this days it leads to more girls being childless or single mothers. because they skip over the average guys who would have likely been a long term partner and built a stable family with them.

[FilmGuy93]

Nope. Guys like that will only change when they find it within themselves to change. No woman will be able to inspire him to change, if he doesn't think he should. Especially not if she's a woman he slept with during his womanizer phase.

[Asker]

What if she never slept with him

[FilmGuy93]

Nope. Change comes from within, milady!

[Marianna546]

well and what if my personality would make him stay and see i am different?

[FilmGuy93]

@Marianna546 You aren't

[Marianna546]

why are u saying that you dont even know me lol

[FilmGuy93]

@Marianna546 That's true, I don't know you. I should have asked you about yourself. What would you say is like the main thing that makes you unique to a guy?

[Marianna546]

I think I am funny and literally can be very adventurous and cute :) i do silly things when am with a guy and am myself :) also i like doing stupid things that can make him laugh :) i dance well as well

[FilmGuy93]

@Marianna546 I know a dozen women who match that description. A player isn't going to stop being a player because of a woman. A player only stops being a player because he wants to.

[Marianna546]

well if you get to know me in real life maybe the vibe is give off could be unique it's all about the click and the vibe not anything else.

[FilmGuy93]

@Marianna546 Why is this stuff always so difficult for women to believe? The ENTIRE point of being a player is that the guy doesn't care about your personality. Even if you are the best thing that's ever happened to him; changing his life isn't the reason you're there. He's not going let you into that side of him.

[Marianna546]

well then that guy can go to hell it's his loss i am a bisexual anyway i can go with a normal woman instead.

[FilmGuy93]

@Marianna546 'Ata girl! 😂 Change like that comes from within; always and only.

[Marianna546]

well i dont need a man to make me happy anyway :)

[SaartjieJane]

When I sense someone is a fuckboy I literally block. Don't need to waste another 2 years of my life, possibly longer, on a man that needs to change but won't. Just go find you a good guy.

[Anonymous]

No.
Women want so desperately to be the one female who changes a guy who can get pussy easily. A guy who can get pussy easily does NOT and NEVER WILL want to settle with ONE pussy.
You are NOT that special.

[Asker]

He looks extremely bitter and annoyed, tries to make me jealous but got jealous himself when he saw me walking with a guy. He wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't smile, he was just looking mad at me
After a week, he again began talking to me on his own and he has consistently done this since the last 6 months

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t think he is a womanizer or a fuckboy, unless being a beta loser is part of his tactics.

[Asker]

What do you mean? He hooks up with women and I ve seen him. So how's he not a fuckboy/player?

[Asker]

Helllooo

[Ms_Facesitter]

Maybe, but don't try to be that girl, it's a waste of time.

[Whatever2929292]

The answer is yes. But they have to turn to God and repent for their sins and get baptized.

[SeekingVirginWife]

Pay him to get the mRNA vaccine, he will change and become a neckbeard and love you.

[Bluewater31610]

How many Physiatrists does it take to change a light bulb ----- only one, but that light bulb really has to want to change

[EmmaMary]

Can a leopard ever change its spots?

[Marianna546]

Hmm i think i could change one :)

[Asker]

He looks extremely bitter and annoyed, tries to make me jealous but got jealous himself when he saw me walking with a guy. He wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't smile, he was just looking mad at me
After a week, he again began talking to me on his own and he has consistently done this since the last 6 months

[athlete_7]

Only if the woman is determined enough

[Anonymous]

Yes, if the right woman gets a hold of him.

[serious]

In my view. No.