A girl I like is complaining about her boyfriend to me, girls, can you guys help?

[Anonymous]

All of us know, or carries the notion with us that whenever a girl and a guy who are friends (or know each other), and the girl sometimes complains about her boyfriend to the guy, that she is using the poor guy as an "emotional crutch," aka "emotional tampon." This is a generally negative term, and is a sure sign that she only considers the guy to be a friend. In other words, the guy is friendzoned.

I have a few questions about this, and I would like girls to answer (guys can comment as well).

- How flexible is the law that when a girl complains about her boyfriend to a guy friend, she has zero romantic interest in him?

- Does it matter what kind of complaints the girl says about her boyfriend? Is it possible that the girl may be trying to hint at the guy if she complains only on one particular thing? For example, how he doesn't communicate or doesn't give enough attention or doesn't know what she's going through, or etc...

- What if she is also giving pretty positive signals to the guy while from time to time complaining about her boyfriend? Pretty strong positive signals...

- Would girls ever drop hints and send signals to a guy that they are interested in, about how bad her current boyfriend is? If so, what does she expect the guy to do?

GIRLS, PLEASE HELP ME COME TO A CLOSURE/CONCLUSION WITH THIS PROBLEM. SHOULD I BE OPTIMISTIC OR DO YOU THINK I AM FOREVER "JUST A FRIEND"?

[Anonymous]

My Ex did that alot. I wasn't friendzoned. she just knew I actually cared about her and she could turn to me if she had problems. I never told her to dumb her Boyfriend or to cheat on him. Any "friend" who tells a woman that is trying to hook up with her. And thanks to that she knew who to be friends with when she was with me and kicked anyone out who did that to try to hook up with her.

All the advice I ever gave her was actually from her. What does she feel like doing, what does she feel about it. Its her life and they were her problems and its not someone else's job to dictate her dating relationship when they are infact not part of it. And with that she figured out what to do on her own and how to value "friend zone" guys from guys who are trying to hook up with her.

Even today that we are not together she still comes to me for advice. her BFs hate it, they all try to remove me from her life with their advice. I'm just valued more because I'm real then their little games.

[bioweapon154]

Most girls have zero romantic interests in the people they complain about their boyfriend to or more girls would be lesbians or at least bi.

Yes it does matter what she complains about. You can then figure out how f***ing clingy this bitch is and how much attention she requires. Perhaps it would interfere with life in general.

She is happy that you are the emotional doormat and that you are agreeing with her on the issues. Women love pushovers, but only as friends.

No idea about that one. If she hates the guy that much, she should just stop playing games, dump him and move along.

You are in the friend zone for good. She has no interests, just a really whipped friend who she can complain about her boyfriend to.

[CocoPops]

She may be complaining to you about her current boyfriend as she genuinely wants advice and a friend to talk to, however if she is showing you signs that she may be interested then that could be a possibility, if you have feelings for this girl and you don't want to hear about her problems with her boyfriend then say something along the lines of " I'm sorry but I'd rather not get involved with you and your boyfriend's relationship" and see how she reacts.

[Asker]

Thanks for answering

Its not that I don't want to hear her complaining, I just want to know what the best course of action is. I want to know what the best thing I can say to her so it will result in a positive outcome

Should I:

1 Further sympathize, agree with her, repeat what she's saying; example "Sounds like he doesn't listen to you"

2 Be blunt, dictate what she should do; example "Kick his ass (jokingly)" or offer advice on what she should do

3 Change the subject; like your suggestion

[Anonymous]

It really doesn't matter. Girls like complaining to anyone that will listen. Trust me on this. You are not special. Besides, do you really want a girl who is a whiner and a complainer? What if you ended up dating her? Could you live with the fact that eventually she will be complaining to guys about YOUR relationship problems?

[AllDay]

This.

[Yeahhbro]

It might be a test to see what you are going to do abotu it, will you get jealous, will you tell her that you only want to talk to her if its only about both you and her and other people? or she just sees you as a friend. Many possibilities I am afraid.

[jhpua954]

It's generally not a good sign when a girl complains about her boyfriend to you. She isn't attracted to you.