How do I get even with female acquaintances who don't talk to me because they don't think I'm worth knowing even at least to exchange pleasantries?

[Bethany22]

There's women who I'm pretty sure aren't shy, as when I ask them questions to try and get a conversation going, they talk really loudly and give long answers, yet when I initially say hello to them, they say hello back in a passively aggressive quiet and reluctant tone. As most women carry their self worth based on their relationships with friends, family, etc, I have no idea why they're so comfortable with the awkward silence without worrying about how that will ruin their reputation. So I interpret it as though they've decided they have no use for me, and I have to fight the urge to reward them by talking and offering them cookies to try and prove them wrong (as their silence hurts MY reputation for everyone else around wondering what I must have done to deserve an extravert not talking to me). How do I preserve my reputation in these situations?

[melanieeeB]

Uff getting women to be your friend is damn hard.

You already offer cookies and nice gestures, you also already start conversations first but it doesn't seem to work... so either I would keep trying or actually give a fuck and wait until they come to you.

Usually at work I start slowly, first introducing yourself and actually already there I had the experience that they asked a lot of questions, out of curiosity and the upcoming months I would just give occasionally some nice compliments but not more, always stayed kind and open for conversations but I never like "run" after them. I hung out with the guys first and with this workplace it took me like 7 months until they saw me as a "friend" and now they're sad that I'm going.
What might also help is maybe asking for help, rarely, but still and try to get a conversation that way.

[Starbers99]

My advice on making women friends is that you should try on a few occasions, in case you caught them on a bad day but after that, let them make conversation or try. If they don't, no loss - they are not your type of person anyway and not worth speaking to. It's important to keep your self respect intact if you want others to respect you. I say this as someone who recently ruined her work reputation by repeatedly getting upset because I made friends with women who were not like me and were so mean (even if unintentionally) that they reduced me to tears. Chin up, act as if you no longer care, if they had anything about them they will notice and make an effort.

[TheSpaceGnome]

The only kind of reputation you are going to get trying to befriend people who don't like you, is that of a doormat.

Ignoring them is the better option. Carrying your self worth based on your relationships with your friends is stupid, and people aren't going to rate your value based on how many friends you have unless they are too stupid to be around (and thus do not matter).

Be picky about who you are friends with, limit it to people who share your hobbies, interests, or goals, try to not have lots of friends because then you will have time for none of them.

[midnightmoon05]

That would be me. I really don’t want to make friends. I work with 99% women. (60-80 in my building) I find them too much drama, talk too much, complain too much.
I wanr peace…work, leave drama. Go home to my world.
somehow, I have no problem making friends if I want to, i have gone out with a few who would want to do more stuff… like go shopping. Still I like to do that stuff on my own time.
maybe listen to what they say… use that as connection?
but careful how to pick your friends.

[SnowedIn]

Don't get even. Not worth your time, resources, or energy. If you have those (time, resources, energy) invest those in getting noticed and doing better than these other folks. To invest it any other way won't work in your favor.

[Guy13]

It is probably because they feel as if speaking to a questioner is like surviving an inquisition. And questioning in these days means the door is opened for all to hear or it is vocalized for all to know. Loud is also a defense mechanism when one feels like another is trying to dominate them,

Giving up freely something about yourself that’s common…like a real person and following that sort of thing may or may not work. The probability is higher. People are competitive 🤷🏻‍♂️

[art84]

If I was female I wouldn't give those woman a chance to be friends if they acted like that toward me when just saying hello. I myself am quiet and don't really like to conversation with woman especially if they are friends with each other and loud. If those woman don't like you then forget them. You can't please everyone in life and not everyone is going to like you in life.

[RealMarek]

Try to be easy going and not chase friendships with women who aren’t being nice. You don’t want to end up in a gang of mean girls, do you?

[nawtee_me]

ignore them... Revenge is a dish best served cold... I do not believe you to be cold hearted, right? What goes around comes around and they will get what they deserve but don't let it be from you... Let your actions be that of one that would allow them to see the err of their ways and by doing so you heap coals upon them as they burn in their envy... Be the You that you were meant to be, not the one they think you are...

[Sixgunsound]

I think you cared too much about people who you know don't matter.

[Charlesbrandonf]

I think yeah you’re being kind and nice also it’s your responsibility to protect your feelings. Because everything of you belongs to you and you must guard it.


Ofcourse you’re a beautiful nice human ❤️

[loveslongnails]

You haven't lost any of your reputation because stupid women don't like you. There's no need to get "even" with idiots. Leave them be and ignore them.

[Andres77]

Be the most effective and efficient and professional employee in the place. Let your promotion do your speaking for you.

[ZenJen444]

Why do you care so much about being accepted by them? You trying so hard to fit in is probably one of the reasons they won't talk to you. Move on

[ZenJen444]

It's a sign of low self worth abd self esteem on your end because if it were me I don't gaf honestly

[ZenJen444]

One of many reasons they don't interact with you. You're coming off as weak too

[Anonymous]

Find better people to hang around with and leave them behind.

[pizzalovershouse]

Just give them the look like your not worth my time

[13below]

Sounds like they are missing out not worth our time

[Jdjfjcjj]

Sleep with all their boyfriends 😉

[Guardian45]

I don't bother with people I don't like.

[Guardian45]

Even if their desk is next to mine.