Getting a girlfriend the hardest thing I've ever tride to do?

[Anonymous]

I swim 7 miles a week. People say I have a geat personality they say I look like christopher reave did in superman. I dress in harbor bay shirts and synergy. Played semi pro football, was undeafeated in wrestling. Yet I've never had a girl friend. I'm puting every ounce of enrgy into it. I listen to what girls say and try to respond back. So if I'm physicaly in shape and have a realy outgoing personality how am I alone. No matter what I do I can't get agirl to go out with me. I am even romantic like campfires romantic movies and hot chocolate. I've been alone my whole life.

Updates

+1 y

Im now spending like 3 hours a day at barns and nobles reading dating books to try and figure this out. This is extreamly time consuming. All for a date with a girl.

[redheadbabygirl]

Mannn that doesn’t even begin to make sense! Where I am the girls would kill for a guy like you! Rawrrrrr!

Maybe it’s a location issue? Are the girls you’re around the “dating kind”? It seems that more and more girls these days are becoming men-haters who refuse to date. Very sad….

Here’s a couple of diagnostic questions you can ask yourself:

1. Are you in the right place to meet girls?

2. Are you asking girls out and getting rejected?

3. Do you just not like the ones there are to choose from?

4. Are you fine with getting a first date but can’t seem to get a second?

5. Are you setting aside any time to date or are you generally too busy?

6. Do you have unrealistic expectations of what type of girl your future girlfriend will be?

Make it a priority, and it will happen. Don’t be afraid to approach girls simply because of your past history. There are plenty of women who are in the same boat, and because they are too embarrassed to admit it, they instead go into hiding lol. Don’t scare the women away by bombarding them with your “never-had-a-girlfriend-before” state on the first date. You’re a great catch, and that’s ALL that matters! Just keep taking consistent steps towards your goal and you’re bound to get there.

Good luck! I hope this was helpful.

[Asker]

You were very helpful katie. thanx

[So-Innocent]

Have you always been trying to get a girlfriend or have you just recently tried?

You sound like a pretty busy guy with all of the sports and what not, and sporting facilities aren't particularly a place where there'd be a lot of girls. So I'm guessing that due to the places you spend most of your time not having girls around, is the reason why you haven't been able to meet/get to know girls.

OR, something about you is sending signals to girls that's saying "keep away". Are you shy? Do you lack confidence?

OR maybe you are so perfect that they think you're already taken.

If you have any friends that are girls, ask them what they think, since they actually know you.

[Asker]

Yea but when I go out on the weekends I approach girls. I talk to them and am always polite. I'm never going to know what its like to kiss a girl or hold a girls hand. girls make it impossible for guys!

[LishaJones]

Wow, I can't image why you are single.yet there must be a reason! Are you shy? Do you have a problem communicatiing to females?- maybe your just looking around or putting yourself out there. Do you go to the bars? Have you tried one of those online dating services? I'm sitting here trying to figure out when you are alone and have not had a girlfriend. I mean you shound physically is shape, a sweetheart, caring, motatived, outgoing, excited,.and yet.here you are asking this question

[Asker]

I approach women all the time. I always get therte number but they never pick up the phone when I call. I'm doing so much exersize its killing me. everyone is always saying I'm goodlooking. and I will always listen to what a girl says then respond back. I'm a football player who loves camfires and romantic movies with girls, and cuddling. but I've never been able to do that. no girl will give me the chance. god even superman isn't good enough for a girlfriend. I'm always lonely.

[LishaJones]

See I do not understand that..Do you have a players reputation? Generally women at least where I'm from would love a guy like you. I mean football player(plus), romantic, outdoors, cuddling, and you listen...Maybe your not looking in the right areas or at the right girls. Maybe the girls you are attracted too aren't attracted to you.thats possible.

[archer86]

I am in the same boat as you are in now but worse. I am now almost 40, getting fat, and was cursed at birth with being short and mixed-black in a world that pays to be neither. I played 4 sports in high school, was an Eagle Scout, have a tremendous sense of humor, a life plan on what I wanted to do with myself, a fantastic personality and so on. Unfortuately, my love life is about as pathetic as a military commander during Saddam Hussein`s reign of terror. It`s not that I tried believe me.

Have you ever tried dating women from other cultures? I am studying japanese, chinese and french on my own(with sporatic progression) and found a number of women from other countries who have shown interest in me that I could NEVER gain from my fellow american women.

It`s not you dude, dating is a complete butt pain

[Asker]

Maybe your right. nothing guys do is never good enough for theses girls. time to start looking overseas

[MystiKaL]

I tell you it seems like you are too nice for women my friend. I think women like a bit of imperfection about a man, a bit of edge to them. I would say try going out without making much effort, act more casual, try not to seem to eager that you want the woman and see what happens. It seems like caring guys struggle to get the women more than the guys who are not so caring. I'm not saying treat a woman with disrespect, women need respect. But what I'm saying is try not to have a "im easily available" atitutude towards women, cos they just don't like that.

Also if your too picky about women, be more open to women that you don't normally go for. It may suprise you how you can feel attracted to them just as much as women you normally go for.

[Asker]

Maybe I am to nice. ill try acting more like a jerk cause being myself isn't working.

[tex151]

So what your in shape your good looking and your single, so guess what I am in shape good looking and single to but that's by choice I get my fair share of women. So your hitting barnes and noble trying to figure out how to get a date, well there's your first problem. While you were looking at these books trying to find out how to get a date did you ever look around you, because if you did you would have seen that barnes and noble is full of women. So instead of reading advice from some relationship specialist who has probably been through divorces and doesn't really know what they are talking about, you could have engaged in conversation with a woman.

If you fear they will turn you down, then you will be alone all your life, who cares if you get rejected it makes you stronger and that way you will learn from your mistake.

[mormongirlmichl]

Usually, a guy like you, girls think you're already taken.So they think there's no point in trying. Just be really open and smile a lot.I'm sure you do, but the only reason I can see that you're still single is that girls are intimidated by such a perfect guy. Best of luck!

[Asker]

But shouldnt they know I'm not taken when I ask for there number after some conversation. its like women have no time for romance,men, or a boyfriend.

[mormongirlmichl]

I really don't know what you're doing wrong...lol have you ever asked a girl out?? I guess you just haven't found the right girl... :(

[j-yoseph]

dont act so desperate. by the way the best dating book ever is dating to relating a to z by mr l rx also for a more psychological more manipulative aproach on making girls attracted to you then read david deangelos double your dating and attraction isn't a choice. realy these are the greatest books you could ever read on this subject.

[Luckygrl]

For what it is worth - as long as you were intellectual and had a good job and all (we were kind of equal on that level) I would date you. You sound like a great guy.

Take a look at your expectations though and the girls you selecting. Perhaps subconsciously you are choosing ones that aren't really available or that can give you what you need.

[faerie]

Maybe you shouldn't put any energy into it. Some girls want to do the chasing, and some girls don't like being pinned against the wall. Try asking a female friend that knows you better to watch what you're doing and let you know what's wrong, also try to ask her to act like your girl and watch to see if girls look.

[ArmsLength]

Maybe you're trying too hard -- "putting every ounce of energy into it."



Women don't like desperation. Chill out. Relax. Your attempts to pick up women and date will suffer if you're on eggshells the entire time. Be casual and confident.

[man0001]

Confidence is the most important thing. You have spent enough time looking through books, get out there and talk to them. Reading will only get you so far; experience is the most important thing. Go to B&N and instead of reading self help books read the newspaper and drink a coffee. If you see someone, get up and go talk to her. No pick-up lines, just general conversation. Friendship is a good place to start.

[alleyJ]

Wow. You seem like a great guy.but maybe you should not think about it so much. Girls like guys who are naturally attractive and who draw them in. Don't overanalyze and just let it happen. Smile and be yourself! Don't try to be the "perfect" or "ideal" guy because most times the imperfections are what truly draw us to another.it's like an edge that makes you different from every other guy. Good Luck!

[lolfreddy]

I don't know... But I did notice that when you stop trying things come your way... It's weird how our universe works. lol

[MaxPrime]

The best way to find something...is to stop looking.

[Anonymous]

Physically in shape is overated... I'm a skinny guy and I get enough girls that I want.