Have you ever felt like the less attractive friend?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

So, I got friends with this TikTok celebrity and she’s staying with me for two weeks already.

I mentioned she used to be a fraudster and I used to work at court. So differences in our personality intrigued both of us and we got really close. I love the dynamics of our friendship and she says she has never had a friend like me before.

She cooks for me and cleans home everyday and really helps me with lots of things. Here’s the thing I am not accustomed though, all my life I’ve been attractive and always in the center of attention anywhere I went, for the first time in my life I feel like the less attractive friend.

It doesn’t do good for my confidence. Like when we go out, she looks like a literal celebrity, she’s much taller and model like as well, I do the modeling as well but I am not that perfect looking.

So everytime we go out partying I feel like the second best, yesterday 5 guys asked my number and 8 guys asked her number.

I danced and usually I am the queen of the dance floor but the cameraman liked my friend, so it’s basically her video and I am only seen here and there.

It’s uncommon and uncomfortable for me, I am used to being in the center of attention anywhere I go。

I feel like I feel less confident because of that. How do I gain back my confidence?

Updates

1 y

I always compliment her and so does she on my looks, but she also keeps asking “Am I not just so pretty?”, makes remarks like “I am a superstar” and so on.

[ShiftingMonke]

I think you should change your metrics a little bit.

You casually drop the information that you only received 5 numbers from men, while she received 8. I'm not sure if you're aware, but there's a VAST majority of women and girls on here who struggle daily because they've not had a single person remotely interested in them for months.

Your friend is more popular than you, sure. But if she were to stand next to someone like Kim Kardashian, your friend would be invisible, like you. Like the way regular girls are to you. There will always be someone prettier, someone better, that's just life.

If you want to develop self confidence, cultivate it not with clout or followers or attention, but in pride of accomplishments, humility, and generosity. Become someone who you'd want to know personally, not someone you wish to be compared to. Chasing clout is a fools errand and you'll live an incredibly unfulfilling life doing so.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

She would make Kim Kardashian look regular next to her haha

She’s really very beautiful, I am not exaggerating, it takes certain type of confidence to be friends with her.

I am just worried not to lose that confidence but I get what you say and you are right, I’ll try not to let that affect my mood and to feel like the best again.

[Grond21]

It sounds like you're confidence is based on a false foundation. Rather than actually being self-confident, it's comparative. It's dependent entirely on those around you and being the one more guys go for. That is ultimately self-destructive for two reasons. One is obvious, that you will get old and less men will find you immediately physically attractive. The other is the comparison is the thief of joy. If you can find a way to be confident in yourself regardless of who is around you that will be truly beautiful

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks, that’s a really nice advice

[Grond21]

I'm glad to hear it

[Grond21]

Thank you for MHO

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I didn’t choose but you were helpful

[Grond21]

Glad to hear it. It probably just shows based on the length of my answer

[Anemone978]

And this is what's wrong with the world...
I actually am ugly and can't even get one number let alone 5...
So quit your whining...

[ShiftingMonke]

That was my point entirely. I disagree with your self assessment but your point remains valid.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I get your point.

I think you are far from being ugly though. You have pretty eyes, lips and face shape.

I doubt the reason guys don’t approach is your lack of prettiness. I think maybe you look unapproachable? Smile more.

Smile does wonders. Men love women who smile.

[ShiftingMonke]

Holy shit. 😆

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@ShiftingMonke lol, what?

I think she’s pretty. Don’t you agree that men love smiling women?

[ShiftingMonke]

You're either terminally dense- and I mean, '6 synapses above fungal classification' dense- or a conceited and self centered garloid.

Regardless, I'll add one more thing to a list on how to get your self confidence back: develop some fuck-mothering HUBRIS.

I dont care if a women looks like a troglodyte, if she is decent and pleasant to be around, I'm happy to be her fan.

I'm done conversing with you, as I detest being rude and you will never understand the root of your own issues; I certainly lack the crayons needed to express it.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@ShiftingMonke Why don’t we converse about fungal classifications after you calm down? Sounds like an interesting topic!

Troglodyte - that’s a new word I learned today. Thanks, thanks.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Just don't compare, okay? That is not good. You are gorgeous.

The thing is, it is her job to not only be presentable, but literally look and act like a celebrity. That is her job.

And your job, as far as I can tell, is to teach. So, you just need to be presentable at most. Nothing else.

She is famous, which attracts many people. And it is because she is famous, she is asked for her number more.

Just ask her, out of the many number of people who asked her number, how many were genuinely looking for a relationship/fun kind. And how many were just trying to colab with her for their channel? Those people were strictly professional with her. Although it may not lool like it.

[NathanDavis]

I've been the less attractive friend yes

but I did not feel like it, nor I ever made it about that

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not the prettiest girl, there are far prettier ones, but I don’t considered them as a competition because I am charismatic in real life and easily get people’s attention without trying much, cause I believe charm and charisma does more than the pretty face.

She however is both, very pretty and very charismatic, so It’s the first time I go somewhere and I don’t feel like the best.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

*Didn’t consider

[NathanDavis]

I've never felt like that mattered to me... guess I never had a need to feel that way nor feel compared or competitive about it

[loveslongnails]

Sounds like some very insecure competitiveness going on. Are you from Georgia, the state in the US, or Georgia the country near Russia?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Georgia, Eastern Europe.

And we went out yesterday and things went pretty well and I felt great. I think it was all about feeling confident.

We are both very competitive people, it’s just I am usually competitive when it’s about career.

But I think I have this solved. I just stopped comparing. And I also felt more confident and it helped me feel and represent myself much better yesterday.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And I don’t think it’s an insecure competition, I am just a bit surprised and I don’t usually fall in these situations. There have been girls much prettier than me, but I still felt the best, because I think I am charismatic.

But this time she’s also quite charismatic.

[loveslongnails]

Time will tell if you have actually stopped comparing. It doesn't sound like you have.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

She’s leaving tomorrow and I feel sad.

[Nikki1989]

All the time.