Guys, Why are guys so dumbly?

[Gummy_Cluster]

It was a rainy Sunday, and my husband was cooking. My hair was a mess, I didn't have makeup on and I was dressed like a hobo, and hadn't showered. Then he realized we were out of mustard, and he asked me to run down to the corner store to get some. I was happy to do it, but first I needed to spend 5 hours getting dolled up. He got upset, and asked me why I care more about what the 7-Eleven guy thinks, than him.

I splained it to him. When I was a little girl, I liked to go fishing with my dad. But I felt sorry for the fish in the boat, so I kept trying to feed them corn and fish eggs. I figured it was the least I could do for them. They were gasping for breath, so I figured a kernel of corn might help. My daddy explained that once the fish are in the boat, we no longer need to waste bait on them. It made sense. Why should I get dolled up for my husband? He's already in the boat.

What does it mean?

[SnowedIn]

Gummy, remember our friend at the boarding school? We're going to call him Michael. He needs a name. I think he'll come up a lot.

So, if Michael was on GaG in 2023, he'd be called a simp. (We don't allow gerbils or the Flintstones but we allow name calling. You're smarter than I am so I'll let you figure that one out.) But, back at that boarding school he was called "gay" -- in all of its pernicious slur as it was in the late 1980s. And why? He took a shower every morning. He brushed his teeth. His hair was combed. The pants weren't wrinkled and they had creases. I mean, sure, the Capezio jazz shoes with the grey slacks were a little odd, but not worthy of a slur. But what really got Michael? He was nice. He held doors. He complimented people. Didn't take jabs even when he could have. He built people up instead of tearing them down. Girls liked him because he was nice. (And spoke in complete sentences.) Sure, there were Ultra Hot Girls (UHGs) who liked the jocks and the Ultra Hot Boys (UHBs) but most of the girls liked Michael. For all those reasons and more.

So, Gummy. There's the predicament you and your husband found yourself in. You got dolled up to be nice. Because that's what humans (and gerbils [did you know that Paul Mitchell has a special line just for gerbils?]) do. BUT, your and your husband forgot that the Mona Lisa without a frame is still a masterpiece. You weren't getting dolled up for the 7/11 guy, you were putting a frame on the Mona Lisa. There's a difference. And, the Mona Lisa may be in the boat, but still gotta have a frame in which to hang it.

[Gummy_Cluster]

You're my second favorite writer. Mark Twain is my first. lol

"Always obey your parents when they are present."
"Always respect your superiors; if you have any."
"There is no sadder thing than a young pessimist‚ except an old optimist."
"Politicians and diapers must be changed often. And for the same reason."
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
"Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that makes you smile"

I never had a gerbil. I had a hamster. It bit the fuck out of my finger. I was just petting it while watching TV.

Twain: "Hamsters are like ham. Slim slices are the best."

[SnowedIn]

Gummy!!! Everyone knows that petting while watching TV never benefitted anyone. Just ask the rabbits. And I think that only you, @shiftingmonke and a few other folks are going to get my petting reference, let alone the rabbit reference.

[Gummy_Cluster]

I get the reference, and I just posted my hamster question. It's not about pegging, so it will probably be removed.
Guys, Why do hamsters think they're so tough? ↗

[SnowedIn]

Headed there after supper.

[ShiftingMonke]

You forgot "clothes make the man; naked people have little to no influence on society."

[SnowedIn]

@ShiftingMonke... SCORE for ShiftingMonke!!! Well played, sir, well played.

[ShiftingMonke]

Unfortunately I did in fact get the reference, although I've not encountered petting since the '97 Kirtley family reunion at Hawks Nest WV.

RIP Uncle Hank.

[SnowedIn]

@ShiftingMonke... I knew you would! One of the very smart ones. You probably have a gerbil. Or at least had one with sweet and sour sauce in '97 at that reunion.

[ShiftingMonke]

You know what I remember from that reunion?

And im not even joking here.. but an attraction called "The Amazing Mystery Hole" it was a tourist shop/tetanus distributor. I strongly recommend visiting if you get the chance, if only to fully notice how well the RnG of genetics have favored you.

(I'd love to make a Richard Gere comment but that one has already been done)

[SnowedIn]

@ShiftingMonke ... lmao. Now I'm going to have to visit. I'm not that far, actually.

[SnowedIn]

@gummy_cluster... thank you for MHO!

[Gummy_Cluster]

Sure thing

[Gummy_Cluster]

That guy is a bit touched in the head.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjZy00iHM-8

The weather here is up to about 40, so the ice bergs are melting. He said he's going to report my comment. LMAO Get in line. I can't even talk about Gerbils.






Philosopher Deepak Chopra says we spend 90% of our mental energy defending our point of view.
Our points of view don't need defending. If that moron says the sky is red, just agree and walk away. Don't waste your mental energy on a loon like that. I bet he's a Klingon.

[SnowedIn]

THIS! :)

[Gummy_Cluster]

Guys, Do you know anyone who gets around town by mule? ↗

[ShiftingMonke]

After wracking the smooth chicken cutlet of a brain I possess, I've got nothing.

Then again, I'm pretty, I don't have to be smart.

Hopefully some other fellas can take a stab at this one! Beware: she's wily.

[Gummy_Cluster]

I just like to tell jokes. They deleted my gerbil joke and my Flinstones joke.

[ShiftingMonke]

Yeah I know you love a good pun, but theyre creative enough I'm trying to break them down and find the meaning because.. well.. I've got nothing better to do.

Jannies suck. Fuck'em.

[exitseven]

Yes, you have a point there. Are you really interested in the high school dropout that works at th 7-11 store?

[NostalgiaSenpi]

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless that bird happens to actually be half a stale Danish and a used ticket stub to Topeka, Kansas.